How do you get a narcissist to leave you alone?

Answer 1

Be sure to maintain as much contact with your abuser as the courts, counsellors, mediators, guardians, or law enforcement officials mandate.

Do NOT contravene the decisions of the system. Work from the inside to change judgments, evaluations, or rulings - but NEVER rebel against them or ignore them. You will only turn the system against you and your interests.

But with the exception of the minimum mandated by the courts - decline any and all gratuitous contact with the narcissist.

Do not respond to his pleading, romantic, nostalgic, flattering, or threatening e-mail messages.

Return all gifts he sends you.

Refuse him entry to your premises. Do not even respond to the intercom.

Do not talk to him on the phone. Hang up the minute you hear his voice while making clear to him, in a single, polite but firm, sentence, that you are determined not to talk to him.

Do not answer his letters.

Do not visit him on special occasions, or in emergencies.

Do not respond to questions, requests, or pleas forwarded to you through third parties.

Disconnect from third parties whom you know are spying on you at his behest.

Do not discuss him with your children.

Do not gossip about him.

Do not ask him for anything, even if you are in dire need.

When you are forced to meet him, do not discuss your personal affairs - or his.

Relegate any inevitable contact with him - when and where possible - to professionals: your lawyer, or your accountant.

Leave them alone and ask God to protect you from them.

You will have to be strong to follow the instructions mentioned above. You will have to remind yourself constantly of the grief and heartbreak. They want to hook back up for more of your devotion and support. Narcissists don't like feeling unimportant. Getting them to leave you alone requires you to be on guard to their ways. This website is a blessing! You may still be drawn to them until you finally really get it. All they can really care about is their make-believe self. One more thing - NEVER LET THEM BACK INTO YOUR LIFE! If you must, love from afar.

I've thought about changing my name and moving down to rural Mexico, aside from that there doesn't seem to be a way. Perhpas there is a whole town in Mexico w/ NPD victims as a result and we could share stories.

You get as far away as possible, cut off all contact from them, and anyone that is associated with them. This includes family members.

I'm convinced that a N never leaves you alone. Once you've been supply, the N will re-visit to time eternal to see if more supply isn't available, especially in between lapses of whatever supply your were replaced with.

The N will do this sometimes in ways that a normal, healthy person can not comprehend -- like joining the same gym, or going to the same dentist. As long as the N shares something with you, that's their way of thinking they are still controlling the situation. If they actually reach out to you, via phone, mail, email, etc., ignore them. Block their email, unpublish your phone number, don't discuss personal issues with people you know are his informants (this is tempting, I know, but don't do it), and don't respond to anything. But do this for YOU, not so the N will leave you alone. There is a lot of advice on this site that ignoring the N will make them leave you alone, but I actually think it empowers them to try harder...even if the effort is years later. They are patient predators.

To me, the "leaving you alone" part is going to have to be in your own psyche and in your emotions. Having successful, normal, healthy relationships with others IS the N "leaving you alone." You know what I mean?

If the person continues to bother you, get an order of protection with the restriction that the person must stay 20 miles away from you at all times.

When the issuing judge asks why, you tell the judge that you fear for your life due to the nature of the advances of this creep.