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Is a narcissist aware of there behaviour or is it natural for them to behave the way they do?
Wiki User
∙ 13y ago
Dissecting the motivations of a pathological partner is an exercise in futility and one of the reasons you were involved in a toxic union to begin with. Basically, we try to project rational thought and sift through crumbs of our experience with them for signs of their humanity. We want to matter, feel valued, feel affirmation or love from a disordered individual incapable of it. They just can't. It's like trying to ask someone without a functioning spine to run a marathon with you without a wheelchair. It's natural and understandable to ask. Asking is what makes you a loving, compassionate person to yourself and others. You want to learn and heal because you are motivated by altruism and fulfilling human connection. Commendable qualities that will serve you well moving on. A narcissist has unchangable, abusive ideas of reference and justifications for their behaviors that kick in as soon as their worldview is required to empathize with others. Therefore, they are transitorily aware of their behavior, but able to dismiss it quickly as an alloplastic defense to protect their false self. To be discounted and discarded by a narcissist is a blessing. Self abuse that lingers in asking why is one of the reasons healing from the pathological union is so difficult. You've assumed their worlview, seen and felt yourself a recepticle for their shame and self-hatred almost frozen from the ability to move on, feel joy, self-esteem or a sense of goodness and trust in community. So, yes their predation of your essence is natural for them; but more importantly is profoundly unnatural for you. It can't be changed. No amount of love or perfection in you will ever compensate for it. The relational harm to your psyche, your heart, your spirit, friends and family, your job and finances will only accmulate in tme. That's what pathology does to a non-disordered person. Folie-a-deux or the alligator death roll - it is what it is. I'm sorry for your pain. I know some people who lose themselves in every recognizable way staying in it and trying to manage the severity of the harmful behavior impact, but they live a quarter life in fantasy, develop stress disorders, suffer miscarriages, addictions, depression... On and on. Every partner he has suffers. He feels something like fleeting attachment without loyalty, but he cannot love. He can parrot expressions and mannerisms of it, but he does not feel the way you and I may understand feeling. Think of it as an "urge" with a lack of impulse control where you and I may be motivated by care for another or a spirit of mutualtity. It's difficult to grasp and explain, but just know the less exposure you have the better you will live and the less you will suffer. Focus on you and your life and motivations. Find your joy. Remember, with a narcissist it not what it appears to be. The actions are reality, the words are superficial instruments to trap you. Your confusion and your pain is real and trying to lead you to a better life. Fly with your inner angels and trust yourself.
Wiki User
∙ 13y ago
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Does explaining to a Narcissist how they act and how dysfunctional they are help them to change?
Best guess, it can. There is no other way for a true narcissist to be aware of issues within him or herself.
Why does an ex-narcissist compete for attention from their ex in terms of trying to act as if their life is interesting and successful?
There is no such things as an ex-narcissist.
What does it mean being A self-aware narcissist?
it could mean that they are aware of the harm they are causing and are actively using and abusing the power of manipulation they have. It seems to be a natural occurance in these personality types and they can do it so well that it few can spot the good ones. It could also point to a narcissist who publicises the fact and pretends to want to help expose others as in case of Sam Vaknin who has websites online and seems to cause more stress and pain by proposing to help educate others to the true nature of narcissism.
Is the child of a narcissist likely to inherit anything after the narcissist's death?
There are two articles on this topic that I am aware of and all she inherited were problems. The golden child might inherit, but I doubt the scapegoat will. http://gailmeyers.hubpages.com/hub/The-Death-of-an-NPD-Parent-A-Terminally-Ill-Malignant-Narcissist http://gailmeyers.hubpages.com/hub/When-a-Parent-with-Narcissistic-Personality-Disorder-is-Terminally-Ill
How do you make a narcissist happy?
Firstly we have to understand what narcissism is and what happiness is for a narcissist. It is very different in all aspects of emotion. Narcissism is essentially an absolute self denial and an obsession with a fake self. A narcissist has zero emotional intelligence and has to act out a fake existence of a fake self. There is no spontaneous response to anything. All behaviour is rationalised and part of a manipulation process to sustain a fake image. Happiness for a self aware human being is a function of emotional intelligence. It is a true feeling. It can be a spontaneously triggered sensation of wellness within the soul of a self aware personality. Without self awareness, there is no home for this emotional response called happiness. Without self awareness, happiness can only be a judgment made based on a set of circumstances that would indicate preciseness of a desired condition. I would like to change the word happiness to something else for a Narcissist. For a narcissist, happiness does not exist in my opinion, in the form known to an emotionally intelligent person. For a Narcissist, happiness may be an awareness of evidence that the fake self is intact and spectacular. So the answer to the question is as follows. To make a narcissist happy we must understand the nature of their fake self. Then we apply adoration that will enhance this image. We must continue to provide this adoration. This is not a satisfiable appetite and without a constant supply a Narcissist will be stressed. The fake self is created as the main tool in the process of complete self denial. Should the fake self loose its status, clarity or dominance, then the true self may begin to emerge and this is the Narcissists greatest fear. So the fake self will indeed be a kudos seeking megalomaniac in its behaviour.
How natural is it to find out you are pregnant for 4 months and was not aware?
It can happen.
What will being aware of natural forces do?
prepare you for emergency situations and help you avoid collisions.
What is the difference between controlled and naturalistic observation?
The difference is that naturalistic observation is a research method, this technique involves observing subjects in their natural environment. It is usual used in situations where conducing a lab research is unrealistic, cost prohibitive, or would unduly affect the subject's behaviour. And controlled observations are studies that the situations are planned by the researcher, this type of observation may be carried out in a laboratory type situation and because variables are manipulated and said to be high in control.One difference between them is that controlled observation will be low in ecological validity compared to naturalistic observation, if the participants are aware that they are being studied they may behave differently.
My therapist told me my soon to be ex husband is a closet narcissist after meeting him. Does anyone know the differences between a narcissist and a closet narcissist?
It has been suggested there may be another variant of narcissism called closet narcissism or shy narcissism. It is a little more difficult to describe and understand. Most people with narcissistic personality disorder are exhibitionists. They believe they are the greatest, smartest, most wonderful, and most exceptional human beings on the planet. They manage to suppress their feelings of inadequacy and replace it with a self manufactured super man. The exhibitionist narcissist seeks admiration from everyone all the time. They abandon people who do not satisfy that need.In some cases a closet narcissist manages to keep such overt grandiose behaviors hidden. They are not so openly arrogant. They suffer from envy. A closet narcissist may have a more deflated self perception and be more aware of their emptiness. The closet narcissist is constantly seeking approval. They are not as strong as the exhibitionist and may experience humiliation and abandonment issues when they fail to get what they need.
Why is a smell added to a natural gas?
Smell is added to natural Gas because it is odourless, tasteless and invisible. Mercapton is added to natural gas so the user is aware when it is present. ie when you have a gas leak.
When did Moses know he was an israelite?
Some suggest that his natural mother made him aware of his ethnicity as she raised him for the Egyptian princess
How can parents raise their daughters to be passive and not manipulative nor condescending nor excessively nurturing nor controlling?
Why would you want your daughter (or any child) to be passive? Surely we want to raise self-aware, self-monitoring independent children who can think for themselves, and who know that their behaviour will impact on others and adjust it accordingly. Since the most effective role model in a child's life is the same-gender parent then the best way to raise your daughter (so that she meets your expectations) is to model the sort of behaviour you'd like to see her manifest. It's pointless nagging her to behave in a certain way if you're doing the opposite yourself.
