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This could possibly be due to quilt getting to them. Some people don't handle guilt very well, so they turn it into anger, or even try to blame their partner for the affair.

If your spouse had an affair and is now displaying a bad attitude towards you, try to talk to them and find out how they do feel about the affair, and about the person with whom they had the affair. Let them know they can be completely honest, that you only want to make your marriage work. If he or she has already apologized, don't continue to berate them for the affair, but at the same time, you do deserve answers.

You have a right to know why s/he had the affair, as well as why s/he has a bad attitude about it now. Maybe your spouse is struggling with the pain it's put you through, which could definitely account for a bad attitude. Just don't let your spouse try to blame you by trying to convince you that the affair was your fault for doing or not doing this or that.

The two of you need to talk through everything, even if it takes days or weeks. Your spouse owes you answers to your questions, no matter how difficult it may be for him or her to give you those answers. But once you do get the answers you want or need, then you need to decide if you want to try to make the marriage work. If you do, then you will have to let go of the affair and start from the present, not going back to the past. You can't keep bringing it up once you do get the answers you need or want, or you will never be able to move forward with your marriage or your life together.

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Q: Why would someone have a bad attitude towards their husband or wife after having an affair?
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