Are there different levels of abuse?

Answer 1

Yes there is. An abuser will come on as sweet as pie (said the spider to the fly.) They don't even realize the pattern they have gotten themselves into. It can be months before you see any signs of mental abuse (many of us can make excuses for a person who is a mental abuser and use excuses such as "they have lost a loved one, a job, etc.) What we don't realize is, that a person can be "moody" and even speak out harshly, but eventually will get over it. Abusers never do. Once the abuser feels they have that person under control, they will start to alienate them from their friends and family. It may be as slight an excuse as "I need to work in Texas, are you willing to move with me? I love you so much." I don't think many men/women that are unsuspecting would question that statement at the time. Once they alienate you from friends, then they alienate you from family. Abusers are actually weak and frightened. They can't seem to slide into every day society and usually "ride the waves" but once home all hell breaks loose. They are smart enough to know they can get away with the abuse in the privacy of their home or in isolated areas and always pick on someone weaker than themselves. They need control and they need to feel protected in their own environment and that means ... total control and feeling like they are in control of every single aspect of their lives. Abusers seldom can be changed. Some manage to squeek through the cracks of clinics, psychiatrists, etc., and have been helped, but over 90% of them will never seek out help and usually end up alone or in prison. Abusers will not and refuse to reason with anyone else but themselves. They are in control! Yes there are levels of abuse. It exists on a continuum. At the bottom end of the physical abuse continuum for example, you may have just a slap and at the top a beating resulting in death. The effects of abuse differ with every individual.