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Is it normal for a victim to feel the need to win the fight with an abuser at all costs just as the abuser does with his victim?
loseing always sucks.. however depending on the type of fight sometimes loseing is winning...take a step back and focus on the bigger picture..
Does an abuser go back?
Most of the time. The trick is not to LET him/ her back.
Can an abuse victim get to a point where they seem to be emulating the abuser without realizing it when they just have had enough of being manipulated and controlled and are starting to fight back?
Even a mild-mannered person (male/female) can be cornered one too many times and come out fighting. If it's mental abuse arguing pursues, but if the victim has been physically abused she will probably end up the loser in the fight to save herself. The only recourse is to plan her escape and head for the first Abused Women Center in her area, or, press charges against her abuser and be sure she is not in the same home with him when he's arrested. Yes, victims of abuse can emulate their abuser in their own minds, and, if they can free themselves of their abuser and start another life, without counseling this person can become abusive to a new partner, their children or friends. Marcy
Why is it common for victims of domestic violence to remain in this potentially violent situation?
The victims of domestic violence are caught in a web of fear; beatings; brain-washing and they have no self confidence as their abuser may not only beat them, but also are verbally abusive making the victim feel they cannot survive on their own. One of the main reasons even in todays modern society is there are few laws to protect women of abuse or any children they may have. A few women may manage to get away from their abuser and hide out at a women's abuse center, but, once these women surface and try to start a new life and get a job often an abuser can hunt them down quite quickly and a Restraining Order against the abuser is not worth the paper it is written on. Also many women of abuse are so psychologically scarred they feel they deserve what they get; are of no use to society; have no self confidence and therefore it seems simpler for them to stay in the situation or, if they manage to get away from their abuser they often will weaken (generally because of financial problems) and go back to their abuser or choose men who will abuse them again.
My abuser dumped me and has not contacted me at all for over three weeks so should I consider him gone for good or do you think he will be back?
Don't ever count on an abuser 'gone for good.' He may well get tired of whatever he is doing or whomever he is seeing and be back! The best thing you can do is go to your local Abused Women's Center and ask for help in your situation. The counselors are there to offer good advice as to how to handle your abuser; your legal rights and if need be a safe place to go too called a 'transition house' if it is necessary.
Is it common for an abused woman to intentionally start doing things that she knows will infuriate the abuser to drive the point home that he doesn't own her?
No it's not common, but many women just simply come to the end of their rope and depression sets in. When this happens she has an attitude that she simply doesn't care if she lives or dies and believe it or not that's when the survival instincts kick in and she can go after her abuser. Fighting back against your abuser isn't a smart thing to do (the woman will often lose) and the best thing is, to phone the "Abused Women's Center" to get the support you need. They provide you with a place to stay (safe house) counseling, legal help, etc. It's a waste of time fighting an abuser and many women are killed over a lot less than this. Good luck Marcy It seems a little wreckless to me. I suggest that it would be far more intelligent to just get away from the abuser. You don't need him to be in your life at all.
What are the signs that a women is in love?
If she cared back to you then, willing to shared and spend their time with the guy they loved and fight for them as well if necessary...
What has the author Emil Farkas written?
Emil Farkas has written: 'Fight back' -- subject(s): Self-defense for women
Was your abuser really that bad if you feel worse without him?
Abusers are bad. Period. It is common for someone who has been abused to feel lonely when the abuser becomes absent, but it is because of the stress of change. If you feel yourself running back to your abuser, get help. The situation will only escalate otherwise.
What does it mean when you dream about your ex husband that you divorced due to abuser and the dream was i went back to him?
It means you want him back, but you have this feeling that you can't have him back. Do you get what i'm saying?
Will a man wan abusive pattern ever change is he capable?
There are two people involved in abuse: the abuser and the abused. So either one of these two people can change the dynamic. If you resist the abuser and the result is a fight, you need to fight back if you want to stop the abuse. Talking won't help. Explaining won't help. The only thing that will help is resisting abuse. Yes, of course, that can promote violence. And I will always condemn violence. But these are the risk we sometimes have to take to preserve our dignity. There is more help on my website listed on the Bio Page.
How can someone who is either considering leaving her abuser or sending him to an abuser program protect herself from paybacks or retaliation so that she can rest assured that she did the right thing?
Once you leave your abuser put it in your mind that you are leaving him for good! There is no going back! Few abusers ever seek psychological help because they truly believe there is nothing wrong with them and no one is going to tell them otherwise. Some abusers will even fight the police and still swing at their victim while the police are standing right there. Abusers think they own their victim and that there are no authority figures that should be meddling in the abuser's personal affairs. YOU don't send the abuser to a program because he has to want to go. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink. If he agrees to go he's pulling your chain! Abusers are sneaky and sick individuals and by believing he will go for help and you are still living there you are putting your life at risk. Physical abuse is not to be taken lightly and women are murdered for a lot less. Leave! Find out where your local "Abused Women's Center" is, or contact Mental Health and they will put you in the right direction. Not only does your abuser need help, but you have been psychologically bruised and you need some help in healing as well before you can expect to have a productive lifestyle. Good luck hon and be careful! Marcy
