How do you explain leaving your abusive husband to your children?

Answer 1

It is best to work with the law on this one. If your husband is extremely abusive, there are Women's Centres to go too. They will often help you in the direction of legal council and you need to get your husband out of your life before you start a new one.

You must also have a plan (including your children)and the new man in your life as to what and where you are to go after you leave your abusive husband and, with luck attain a divorce. If you feel your abusive husband would make problems for you, your children or the new man in your life, then it really best to move if you can. If this is not possible then you will get much help from the Women's Centre. There should be one in your area. Please phone Mental Health and they will lead you in the right direction.

Good luck!

Marcy

Be careful before jumping into another "serious" relationship too fast....you don't even have time to catch your breath. If he loves you, he'll wait a while until you settle down and will help you when you need it (physical and emotional support). Remeber, actions speak louder than words. If I was in your situation, I'd prioritize myself and my kids. then the new boyfriend. your kids really need your attention at a 100%.... Don't be shy, if you are able, to get help from a doctor/psychologist etc.

I left my abusive (ex) husband with VERY careful planning...don't do it on the spur of the moment. My ex-husband became very controlling, then physically abusive about 4 months into the marriage...in addition to physical abuse, he would check my email, check my cell messages (which i used for business) and would stand outside my place of business for my whole shift. I planned a way to leave, but it took 6 months to implement. I made sure I had enough money, that I had the law on my side and that I secured the longest restaining order possible. you HAVE to plan it...wait till he abuses you the most, let the bruises and cuts develope then go down to social services...document everything he does to you. You can get past this and have a happy life. Alicia

Answer 2

The children of course already know things aren't going well with mom and dad. If they are young (not late teens +) there is no real way you can really explain abuse to them. Their little minds won't wrap around it, and all they see (no matter how bad the abuse is) is the fact mom and dad won't be living together and they will be frightened. Before you go down this road I suggest you talk to a counselor yourself and also speak to a child psychologist. You definitely need to get away from the abuse, but there is a healthy way to do it. Many people feel it's best for a couple with marriage problems or abuse problems to stay together for the sake of the children and that's the furthest from the truth. If it's as serious as abuse (mental/physical), Alcoholism, drugs, etc., then what children see they learn. It's up to the healthy parent to take charge and get the children into a safe environment. If the children are of age and not at home, then sit them down and tell them you are leaving their father. I bet you will be quite shocked that your children have been wondering why you didn't leave their father long before now. Good luck hon Marcy