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OK, you've got to take it step by step.

Step 1 - Find yellow pages (if you have not got one, DON'T WORRY skip straight to step 2)

Step 2 - Walk over to phone (note: be careful of any obstacles that might be in your way, i.e. doors)

Step 3 - Call mechanic either by using your yellow pages, or calling your knowledegable friends at 118 118, asking for car mechanic near me PLEASE (politeness costs nothing, unlike the phone call at around 50p/min)

Step 4 - Tell mechanic, you are a little boy who needs his broom broom fixed.

Step 5 - Tell mechanic - 'same to you' and hang up when he makes fun of your mum.

Step 6 - Call Evans Autos in North Cheam on (020) 8337 6677 and buy one of our fantastic used motors at a unbelievable price and scrap the old Golf for a for a fresh car with 12 months warranty and a lifetime guarantee on pads for the life of the car.

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