How should you handle the fact that your husband tells all your problems to family and friends other than yelling your head off?

Answer 1

I certainly agree with the other poster that communication is everything, but, I have no doubt from your post that you have tried this. Some men feel they just have to go to family and get some sympathy, instead of talking it out with his wife or a good friend because he knows he won't get the same sympathy. Marriage counseling is all well and good, but there is a very low percentage rate of success because most men do not like going to counseling. They may sit there, but they will inwardly always believe they are right and their wife is a nag and it's her fault. I still say to calmly talk to your husband in front of his family and let them ALL know that this is unacceptable behavior and if it doesn't stop and he doesn't work on this with you then it's over. Again, the other poster is very correct and all 3 reasons given for trouble in a marriage are right on. Marcy I don't blame you for being angry, but yelling and screaming never cured a problem. We've all heard that husbands can be "wife deaf." LOL If possible DON'T discuss problems with your husband, but try finding a good friend you can trust to talk out your problems, and, if you have met a good friend over the internet then email them about your problems. I met a wonderful lady on the internet off a board who lives in the States, and we've been email friends (and phone each other occasionally) for 4 years now. We email each other every night. Sometimes we have what we call a "bitch fest." LOL We just let it all hang out and that helps us to calm down regarding frustrations in our marriages. It doesn't mean we don't love our husbands. The little darlings. LOL Most men are very quiet about what goes on in their private lives, but I do know of a few men that would blab like crazy and would probably accidentally give away their own countries secrets. LOL If you find the above doesn't work, then it's time to say something in front of him and family. This way family will know you don't appreciate it. I often hear information from one family member about another, and I just listen, perhaps offer some constructive advice and if the person doesn't want to listen to that advice I tune myself out. The information goes no further. You need to sit down with your husband and tell him if he doesn't stop what he is doing and consider going to marriage counseling you're leaving! This may smarten him up a bit. Remember, if you are asking him to keep your private problems to himself, then you must do the same. Tell him if he needs to talk about the problems to go to a good friend and leave family out of it. Good luck Marcy One of the 3 causes of divorce is a lack of communication. You need to have a sit-down with him and let him know how you feel about him airing your dirty laundry out for friends and family. Don't stop telling him things, he just needs some re-direction. He and you should see a marraige councellor if this doesn't work. The worst thing you can do is stop talking to him and confide in someone else. You would be doing the same thing as he is doing to you. If you need someone to talk to on general issues (not related to your marraige), then it is okay to talk to a friend. Remember, one of the 3 reasons for divorce is a lack of communication. (The other 2 are infidelity and finance)