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You can't work on the issues in your marriage with your husband until he's a full partner in the marriage again. This is impossible unless he ends the affair completely--which he hasn't done. An affair doesn't truly end when the sex ends, it ends when the affair partners cease contact with eachother. Keeping in contact only feeds the emotional high both parties got from the affair.
Unfortunately, this also sounds like gaslighting---your husband and the affair partner are claiming to be only friends, while there is still an emotional (and possibly sexual) relationship going on without your knowledge. Your husband isn't making a choice here; he's simply hoping to keep both his marriage and his relationship with the affair partner.
You need to make the best choice for yourself at this time. Privately go to an attorney, look through your finances and have an honest talk with your husband. Demand, not ask, that he make a choice---either he becomes a full partner in the marriage by going to counseling with you and completely ending contact with the affair partner (even if it means changing jobs or moving), or he needs to leave the marital residence ASAP and expect a divorce.
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∙ 16y ago
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Yooh leave yoohr husband and he leave his gf cause they both cheated on yall!!!!!!!
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Unfortunately, doesn't change the fact he still cheated and you deserve better.
Should I stay with my husband who has constantly cheated on me?
No
