Is it alright to communicate with a friends of the opposite sex only when your spouse isn't around and on top of that not want to discuss that friend with your spouse?

Answer 1

No, that's not a good thing in a relationship with your souse and its also not good for your friendship with the person of of the opposite sex - you're placing them in a secretive position, which is going to make both you and them feel as though you're doing something wrong with this "secret" friendship. It will also communicate itself to your spouse - they will sense that something isn't quite right within the relationship and your friendship and become suspicous. It's better to just be honest about all your friendships with your spouse - that way neither you, or they, can be accused of acting in an untoward manner.