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Most people define Abuse as all about control If you do not control the other person Are you an Abuser because of minor verbal disagreements or arguments?
Wiki User
∙ 14y ago
you are an abuser if you demean the other person (tell them they are worthless, stupid, lame, etc). whatever makes the person feel small and "less than" is abuse
Wiki User
∙ 14y ago
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Some people on here state you are an abuser if you have several verbal disagreements in a long term marriage Aren't these people living in a fantasy world instead of a relationship?
Basically, yes. Verbal disagreements do happen, in any sort of relationship in which you are around each other a lot of the time. This could be work colleagues, brothers and sisters, parents and children and indeed spouses too. A few verbal arguments is NOT abuse. Unfortunately, it is life, and life entails disagreements and arguments. We do not live in a perfect world. We cannot get along 100% of the time, and that is Okay. Sometimes relationships become closer after an argument, and people let go of steam instead of letting it build up.
Why would your abuser not want you to be happy on your birthday?
Control.
Does the emotional abuser care about the one they love?
It's a possibility, but not a guarantee. Some emotionally abuse others because it's a sense of control and they do not care about anyone, while others do so because they do care and by the victim(s) reacting in a certain way, the abuser feels they must have care from the victim(s) in return.
Can an abuser easily forget his ex girlfriend who broke up with him?
Once the abuser realizes he does not have control of her, eventually he will give up and move on. Sounds to me as if he needs to seek help. Stay away from him. Don't answer phone calls. If he keeps bothering you, press charges against him. But no, the abuser will not "easily forget" about the ex-girlfriend.
The power relationship between the abuser and the victim?
The victim has no power or they would not be abused. The abuser always has the control. Children and the elderly are victimized often in society as well as men and women. The abuser will start out by abusing psychologically and 'put down' their victim until they leave their victim confused with no self confidence. The abuser may threaten to leave their victim (this is terrifying to the elderly); leave the wife and take the children; talk of killing the victim or anyone that is close to them. The abuser often isolates their victim so their victim has no family or friends to turn too and they have to suffer in silence and depend on their abuser.
How do you know if you are an abuser like your wife says you are?
You could be a mental or physical abuser to your wife. If you call her names constantly, always remind her of how stupid she is; she can't cook well; is ugly; put her down constantly in front of your friends, etc., or you shove, push, hit or beat her (causing injuries to her body) you are an abuser. Even if you try to control her by threats of violence you are an abuser. An abuser is all about control. It's usually learned behavior within their own family or they have been excessively spoiled. An abuser wants control simply because he or she does not have control and the odd thing is .... even if you beat your victim (yes, that's right ... the abused is a victim) you will never totally own that person. You can beat them, terrify them, but you will never own their soul! Abusers need to control the environment around them and have everyone do their bidding. Since most of society would tell the abuser to "hit the road" the only one that the abuser has under their control is his girlfriend/wife and perhaps children. Abusers are actually weak of character and they know it. Within an abuser there is rage. It could be they were beaten themselves and had no control over the situation, they could have been bullied at school or didn't fit in. There are many reasons. There is psychiatric help to get to the bottom of the rage the abuser feels if they so decide to seek it out. If you feel you are abusive or you have problems that you can't resolve please seek out a good psychologist (does not prescribe medications) or a psychiatrist (they can prescribe medications.) There are also groups you can join so you don't feel so alienated. Please get the help! If you don't it will eventually all catch up to you and you can actually go to prison for physically abusing a partner (that includes women abusing men.) If you drink try and stop. If you do drugs the same applies. These two social beings do nothing to help your situation. I am proud you have come to this board to figure out if you are an abuser. It takes guts! Now that your post has been answered you have to decide if you are an abuser (be honest with yourself) and if you are please use that courage to seek out help. Good luck Marcy The answer about abuse is incorrect,,each person in a relationship has a role, its necessary to follow those responsibilities or the relationship will fail.
What do dogs do to abusers?
Dogs either do nothing because they are scared or they attack the abuser...
Is an ex abuser still verbally abusive to his new girlfriend if there are no arguments because she doesn't defend herself and always does what he wants?
Possibly there is something in his body language or manner that discourages the new girlfriend from opposing his views and so everything goes his way. However, many times young girls will act this way with new guys since they are in love. If I was the ex-abuser, I would definitely say this is a good question to explore with the new girlfriend.
Was David Pelzer a child abuser?
No he is not a child abuser.
Is assault common after the abuser probabtion ends?
If you ask this question, its because you are worried, if you are worried, its because you KNOW its going to happen again. GET AWAY from the ABUSER, is the ONLY answer, go find yourself a GREAT guy that would NEVER hit you.
Why is it not OK to expose the very people that use abuse and control their victim until the victim sees what is happening and realizes shes been scammed by narcissistic ego maniac on the prowl again?
It is OK to expose the person that uses abuse to control their victim, but it is the victim that has to report their abuser. Like any abuser whether narcissistic or has a large ego others do see these flaws in the abuser, but in many cases the victim at the beginning (unaware) often refuses to believe what others have to say about their abuser until the victim finds out the hard way. Many victims can feel ashamed or angry that it took them so long to figure out that the person they loved is an abuser, but abusers are extremely sly when it comes to luring their victims into their web. There is not much you can do about the abuser if you have left him, but you should get help from an Abused Woman's Center or a psychologist to learn the signs of abusive behavior so you do not make the same mistake twice. There are often small signs from an abuser from the beginning such as perhaps telling you what to wear; order your meals at restaurants and then slowly they alienate you from your family and friends. Then the abuser has you under their complete control and that is when the victim sees the ugly side of their abuser. You can tell anyone you like what the abuser is like and some will believe you and others will not or you can move forward in your life and realize you have learned from the bad relationship and will not make the same mistake again. Generally abusers will be caught at their own game.
Why would your husbands narcissism emerge so intensely while he was in therapy?
This is happening because the psychologist is making him feel out of control. The therapist is probably making him uncomfortable as the abuser does not want to be understood by anybody else. He is compensating for his lack-of-control by attempting to control you. You should probably mention this to his therapist, as he may be able to address the issue in the sessions that they have.
