0
Chuck Norris just pissed your pants.
Chuck Norris once ate three seventy-five ounce steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes of that hour having sex with his waitress.
Chuck Norris stole your bike.
Normal kids pee there name in snow. Chuck Norris pisses his name in cement.
Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer.
Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.
Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
Chuck Norris eats grenades for breakfast and craps out mortars for lunch.........
What else can I help you with?
How come you cant search Chuck Norris?
The New MrSpock (Xbox Live Gamertag), says: Because Chuck Norris Searches You.
Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris fight?
chuck Norris doesnt loose a fight he roundhouse kicks it and wins
What is the difference between an old immigrant and a new immigrant?
chuck norris
What are good Chuck Norris jokes?
LIST OF KNOWN CHUCK NORRIS JOKESJokes with bolded numbers are popular ones.1. Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on because the dark is scared of him!2. Chuck Norris was supposed to die 50 years ago but the Grim Reaper was to scared to take him.3. Chuck Norris killed two stones with one bird.4. Chuck Norris created his own mother5. Chuck Norris had a heart attack and he won.6. Chuck Norris does not make spelling mistakes, if he spells a word differently the dictionary will correct itself.7. Jesus and Chuck Norris had the same birthday, Chuck Norris doesn't care.8. If you have £5 and Chuck Norris has £5, Chuck Norris has more money than you.9. Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits.10. Chuck Norris got bitten by an extremely poisonous snake, after extreme pain and seizure the snake died.11. Death is afraid of Chuck Norris.12. Chuck Norris made war marry peace.13. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father.14. Chuck Norris' daughter lost her virginity, Chuck Norris found it and brought it back.15. Chuck Norris can unscramble and egg.16. Chuck Norris is blind, no one could ever tell because he sees only in the colour of fear and since everything fears Chuck Norris he sees all.17. Chuck Norris gives polygraph machines a lie detector test.18. Chuck Norris can possess the Devil.19. Chuck Norris can look up a number in the phone book that's not listed in the phone book.20. The judges of American idol sing for Chuck Norris.21. Chuck Norris's roundhouse kicks cannot get sucked into black holes. Black holes get sucked into Chuck Norris's roundhouse kicks.22. Why is health care so expensive? Chuck Norris is sending so many people to the hospital every day.23. When Chuck Norris picks up a Rubix cube, it solves itself out of fear.24. Chuck Norris visits Hell for vacation.25. Chuck Norris can understand women.26. Bushes beat around Chuck Norris.27. Chuck Norris doesn't dance around the question. Questions dance around Chuck Norris.28. Chuck Norris invented pain.29. Chuck Norris's wife gave birth to his own parents.30. Chuck Norris can have it both ways.31. Even the amazing people are saying, "Wow, Chuck Norris is really amazing."32. Chuck Norris tells his mother who she can hang out with.33. Handicap signs aren't for handicap people they're for all the people that meet Chuck Norris.34. When Chuck Norris was born the sun said I quit!35. Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He just accidentally destroys chairs.36. Chuck Norris doesn't need bullet proof vests. Bullet proof vests need Chuck Norris.37. Guns don't shoot at Chuck Norris. Bullets aren't that stupid.38. The invention of the atomic bomb was created when Chuck Norris sneezed into a jar and it blew up only one one thing was left standing, Chuck Norris39. Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick you with his fist.40. The Boogeyman checks his closet each night for Chuck Norris.Cars were actually invented for a faster way to flee from chuck Norris, but Chuck 41. Norris invented the car wreck.42. Bruce Lee once survived a Round house kick. and then he woke up.43. Black holes cannot escape Chuck Norris.44. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.45. Chuck Norris stared at Medusa - she turned to stone.46. Chuck Norris is so fast that he could run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head!47. Chuck Norris dug a drainage ditch near his Arizona cottage - it's now called The Grand Canyon.48.Chuck Norris CAN divide by zero.49.Chuck Norris doesn't wear Superman pajamas - Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.50. Everybody loves Raymond - except Chuck Norris.51. Chuck Norris can have his cake and eat it, too.52. Chuck Norris can call different people by dialing the same number.53. Chuck Norris cuts his toenails with a chain saw.54. Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares it to grow.**55.** Jesus walks on water, Chuck Norris swims through land. *Laughter*
Who was known for consolidating many eastern railroads into the New York central?
chuck norris
When did Chuck Norris invent Karate?
Carlos Ray Norris aka Chuck Norris did not invent Karate. He does not even train in Karate. Chuck Norris trains and holds a masters rank in Tang Soo Do, a Korean form of martial art that has some roots to Shotokan Karate through General Choi, who was the founder of Tae Kwon Do. Chuck Norris mixed Tang Soo Do with Brazilian Jui Jutsu to create Chun Kuk Do, his own martial art. Karate is an Okinawa Martial Art and was popularized in Japan in the early 1920's by Gichin Funakoshi who is credited as the Father of Modern Karate Do. Chuck Norris never invented Karate, nor did he invent a new system of Karate. Contrary to urban legends, Chuck Norris did not invent karate. He learned Tang So Do, a Korean style of karate, while stationed in that country with the US Air Force.
Would you like to see a new toy I made no one has done this yet?
chuck Norris
Who would win in a fight Chuck Norris or the hulk?
You may not know this but Chuck Norris has a green penis. One day he whipped it out in the middle of New York city and that's how people came to know the Incredible Hulk.
Is Jean Claude van Damme better than Chuck Norris?
I thought Jean's acting ability in the beginning was much better, but Chuck has come a long way and I think he has passed van Damme. If you meant in fighting ability, Chuck has the better record. Chuck Norris has had a lot of TV and film acting under his belt (no pun on belt ), so he is more comfortable in front of the camera. Jean-Claude lacks the TV experience, however, based on his younger age could probably out perform Chuck in karate. As far as box office is concerned, Chuck Norris has a bigger audience and is appearing in the new movie Expendables 2.
What is the best chuck noris joke?
Here are some. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. Chuck Norris built the house he was born in. Chuck Norris can win Connect 4 in three moves. Chuck Norris counted to infinity; twice. When Chuck Norris steps in a puddle he doesn't get wet, the puddle gets Chuck Norris'ed. Time waits for no man; except if that man is Chuck Norris. When the Boogieman goes to bed, he checks his wardrobe for Chuck Norris. Superman has a pair of Chuck Norris pyjamas.
What effects did the Renaissance in Europe have on the eventual US?
When the renaissance came out Chuck Norris went there and kicked them to the new world.
Who wrote the poem at the base of the Statue Liberty?
"The New Colossus" is the name of the poem.
