What defines a werecow?

Answer 1

As Flippy T. Fishead & The Mighty Ground Beeves so eloquently put it:

There's a full moon in the pasture tonight

Hangs like a fine and polished pearl, so pure and white

The average guy finds so much beauty in its light

But I'm a werecow

Moo moo moo

I'm a werecow

Now I'm stuck

It seemed so innocent when Bossy bit my hand

I was just tryin' to milk her, but I didn't understand

That Bossy really was Pierre the handyman

He was a werecow

Moo moo moo

He was a werecow

Moo moo moo

By day, I work the fields here on my daddy's farm

By night, I roam the neighbor's place in search of corn

Chewin' my cud and tryin' to keep my udders warm

I'm a werecow

Moo moo moo

I'm a werecow

Moo moo moo

The mornings after always make my family wince

I know it's hard for them to try and make some sense

Of finding me naked with my head stuck through a fence

I'm a werecow

Moo moo moo

I'm a werecow

Moo moo moo

I'm a werecow

I found this gypsy who said she could break the curse

Said that she sympathized with me but she'd seen worse

Said Lon Chaney, Jr. used to be a client of hers

She was pretty, wore a real nice dress

Shoot, I was impressed!

She asked for money and I gladly said I'd pay

But when she said a million bucks, I swear I was enraged

So I bit that gypsy, and now, well, we're engaged

She's a werecow

Moo moo moo

She's a werecow

Moo moo moo

She's a werecow

And a pretty little heifer she is, too

These days the sheriff lets me spend the night in jail

So I won't hurt nobody when the moon turns pale

Or end up some entree at the local Steak & Ale

I'm a werecow

Moo moo moo

I'm a werecow

Somebody, somebody call a vet

Yeah, I think I'm gettin' a touch of milk fever

I'm a werecow!