What if your abuser is a sister-in-law and the rest of the family prompts her to do it and occassionally participate?

Answer 1

You need to make it clear to all family members that you do not like the behavior of your sister-in-law and that you will no longer tolerate it.

AnswerWhat do you mean by "what if"? Disengage. Put a distance between you and her. AnswerAbuse perpetuates abuse in others. You should not have anything to do with your abuser...period! If that means cutting family ties than so be it. The abuse will not stop no matter how much you try to encourage it to stop. God Bless AnswerHi there

Sounds like you are the only one with a whole lot of sense. It's important that we understand what "abuse" is. It's sort of like sexual harrassment in the workplace. A tap on the shoulder, pull on the ear lobe does not mean the person doing it is sexually harrassing you. Could it be possible your sister-in-law has a twisted sense of humor? If this isn't the case here are a few things you can do (I did it with one of my abusive sister-in-laws.)

You take the family aside and tell them how you feel. Be sure they don't know something you don't. Example: Your sister-in-law is very sick and could be on a medication of treatment that causes her behavior to be abusive. If she is fit as a fiddle then let your feelings fly from the hip. Also add, that if you all don't stick together on facing your sister-in-law and get a few things out in the open and straightened out that you will not be over on the days she is there. Be prepared that this little meeting will surely get back to your sister-in-law faster than the speed of light. Stand your ground! When you have to face your sister-in-law be calm, and tell her how you feel. Of course we both know she will not accept any of what you say and probably become more abusive, but it's important to get it off your chest, then there will be no misunderstandings of what comes next. After this is over stick to your word and stay away from any further contact with your sister-in-law. If you family still accepts her behavior then that is their choice, but not yours! You can have your parents or siblings over to your place if need be.

I did the above with my abusive sister-in-law and banned her from our home and it took about a year, but it worked and now we are friends and get along well.

Good luck. You don't deserve any type of bad behavior from anyone. If you respect that person, they should respect you back, and if not, it's time to walk on by for the time being.

Good luck Marcy