0
Why do women blame the mistress instead of the husband who cheated?
Skylar609
This is an excellent question. After many years I've discovered it's more territorial than anything else. One women doesn't want another winning over her man! However, it should be the person cheating that gets the kick in the butt. Many people that are already in a relationship have chances to cheat if they wish and many will refuse saying 'I have a girlfriend' or, 'I'm married.' That should be the end of it!
My first husband cheated and his mistress had the audacity to phone me with 'let's talk!' I told her that there would be no talking and I was tying a big red bow on his butt and she could have him along with his abusive ways. He was sitting right there when the call came in with a smirk on his face thinking that two women would be fighting over him. When he heard what I said his jaw hit the floor and then I kicked his butt out the door, got the locks changed the next day and filed for divorce. I wasn't mad at the mistress, but at him!
Input:
For some they will blame the mistress because the husband will compare the wife to his mistress. Some wife will say that if she didn't agree with the husband, he will not cheat. But reality here, from the man I married when I discovered his affair with her, I didn't blame her nor get angry to her. I know it was him who saw her on a dating site, and from there their relationship started, from platonic friendship to emotional relationship that turn to love and physical affair. The only fault of this woman was she didn't say no to the man I married.
Wiki User
∙ 13y ago
Wiki User
∙ 14y agoUnfortunately, it's often human nature to lay the blame (rightly or wrongly) upon someone we don't know as well, and/or don't like as much.
It's also part of human nature to place blame on an outside circumstance, such as a mistress, rather than looking for a reason closer to home. This can take the form of, "He's a good man; therefore, she must have tempted him away," or even, "Our relationship is solid; he wouldn't do this to me, therefore it must be HER fault."
After all, if there's a problem with the marriage, then it just might be the wife's fault. It's much easier to blame someone else (especially someone she already has a reason to dislike) than to honestly examine herself, and the relationship, for cracks and flaws.
Add your answer:
Earn +20 pts
What to do if your husband is still friends with his mistress brother?
If you have proof they have cheated then confront your husband (he is mainly to blame because he is an adult and knows better) and tell him that he and your sister in law have a week to tell her husband or you will and if he does not break up the relationship with her then you are filing for divorce. You husband and sister in law have created a situation that has hurt you, her husband, any children they may have, but also hurt the rest family as a whole and cause two brothers to end a possibly good relationship.
Why can't we blame the spouse from their affair instead of the other woman?
You should be able to blame your spouse fully, since he/she allgedly cheated on you, whether the person they had the affair with realized it or not.
Who is responsible on stopping the harassment the wife is receiving by the mistress the other woman or the married man who had the affair?
Women by nature are jealous of the other woman so they have a tendency to blame the mistress in the affair and even when the mistress harasses the wife, but it is the husband in this case that should stop the harassment because he started it all. Get tough with the husband and ignore the mistress; the ball is in his court.
Why does the wife compete with a mistress?
Because she does not blame her husband and chooses to believe it is all HER fault, so she will harass the mistress trying to get her to go away. Usually the wife feels like she is loosing control of her marriage and it's easy to be mad at the the other woman. This is foolishness of course. It is the husband who is to blame. If a husband doesn't communicate with his wife when he feels there is a problem with their relationship or that he's not happy with some aspect of their relationship, then he is a coward, or self centered, or selfish to deal with it using (and I mean the word literally) a mistress. When a husband fulfills his own needs at the expense of his wife, then there's no predicting how a wife might react. Of course the same is true when a wife takes a lover and is unfaithful to her husband.
If your husband has an affair and the mistress got pregnant while you were married what can be done legally?
Since your husband got the mistress pregnant this is good grounds for divorce. Your husband is entirely responsible for paying child support and this is called being responsible for your own actions. Your husband is fully to blame as he either started the affair or he could have said no to the woman. Therefore, the mistress who is pregnant has every right to keep her child. Your husband has created a great deal of pain for you or any children involved in your family; he lied and disrupted your lives and cost the most precious thing of all ... trust in each other. Most people who cheat will do it again.
How can a spouse blame his wife which is his job for stopping his ex mistress interferring their life for three long years?
It's his fault for having a mistress in the first place.
How mistress ruin the relationship of husband and wife?
mistress can be a big ruiner to good relationships. ANSWER: Yes a mistress is part of a broken family between man and his wife. Unfortunately it's not all the mistress ( sorry I am a wife), fault and start the messing around but the married man is. Reality check here, married men are the one that search or look for other person we called mistress. Some mistress are single, some are married but still become the other woman. Because we love our husband most of us will blame the other woman, for ruining our safe, normal, and comfortable life. It is wrong because its our husband who started all. It's our husband that meet the other woman, hide the relationship, and yes having a second life away from us. The only thing we can say to those women who are having an affair to a married men is learn to say no._" No thank you, your are married " and I deserve to meet a single man.
Your girlfriend of 4 years cheated on you you blame yourself because you were never honest about how you loved her and how much you wanted to be with her so I need some advice?
Dont blame yourself. Shes the one who cheated on you. Forget her. && if you want her back; Tell her how much you love her.
What does she wants when the other woman keeps calling your spouse?
I think she wanted to have what your husband gave her. Or was your husband fell in love with his ex mistress because she expect no condition from your husband? How about your husband, are you sure that he stop talking to her. Before you can really blame this woman, see if your husband still talking to her, but don't let her manipulate you as well as your husband. I can give you lots of idea what might this woman wants but I won't because what happen to you is a bit different from mine. But I will share my own personal experience from the man that I married to his ex mistress now. From the time I discovered my husband with the woman he met on line dating until now, this woman still part of my life, by email, cell phone or personal visit in my home. This woman said to me that she will not stop until she ruin my husband, so when she said it, she meant it because she is doing it not to his ex married lover but to me. 3 years and she still doing it, and I think the man that I married what ever his ex mistress is doing I will not believe her. But his ex mistress really fulfill what she had said in the past. So its either she wanted him back or maybe they decided to stay friends with benefit, or she want to know how he is doing with you. None is important but the other woman will never stop, and your husband " probably" enjoying it because his thinking there's 2 women that he loves fighting for him. If I were you, ignored what this ex mistress is doing, face your husband and ask him to do something, after all you never knew this woman until the day his affair was discovered. Good luck and try not to blame this woman yet, your husband was the one that open this other life not you....
Why do mistress needs to apologize to the family that was betrayed if the husband was the one that started the affair?
If the mistress belongs to someone in that family she should apologize to the family. If she is not a member of that family then it is 100% up to the husband to apologize. For you to put the blame on him is weak and you are in denial. You could have said a simple 'no.' No you shouldn't apologize to his family that's his job he's the one who screwed it up now he'll have to fix it! I know what you mean when you said the husband started the affair because the same thing happened to me except i didn't have to apologize to his family. The husbands or their wife will try to put all the blame on the mistress but guess what it takes two to tango. If you would like to talk feel free to contact me.
If you are the mistress would you apologize to your lovers family for the affair he started with you?
Hell NO! The wife should be thanking you! You did her a favour... if it wasn't u it would have been someone else! ANSWER: If I am the mistress would I apologize to his family especially the wife, heck no. I don't know the wife, all I know is what my married lover told me about her. And why do I, if it wasn't me who started it all. My only mistakes is by not saying no to my married lover. Now why is it when marriage is been broken, the first person who got blame is the other woman, especially the wife. It doesn't matter what the mistress did, the husband is the one that needs to explain period. There are some mistress who is pain in the butt, but do remember she also got hurt by your husband.
Why would a married man tell you he was getting attached to you but ends up getting caught cheating and then when you asked him about his feelings he told you that you took it the wrong way?
Most mistresses take pride in thinking that they have succeeded in stealing another woman's husband which makes the mistress feel special and that she is the one and only in the life of the married man. Men who cheat have no backbone or commitment and they are looking for extra sex on the side. They use the mistress to possibly gain their youth back and to prove to himself that he can still attract other women. It's all about him and not about the wife or mistress. Most men just want a mistress to 'be there' for sex even though he may take her out to clubs or restaurants or even buy her gifts. In other words she is no more than a paid escort that will deliver sex when he whistles. Now that this married man has been caught he's trying to put the blame on you. The wife should not blame the mistress, but her husband. Be smart and stick to single men.
