Why doesn't the tooth fairy come when you sleep and give you a five dollar bill I had eight teeth pulled?

Answer 1

The answer is poor communications. The tooth fairy has a very poor regulatory department and it is a common fact that many legitimate cases of tooth reclamation go un-noticed and consequently unfulfilled. What is required is that the submission (teeth underneath the pillow) has to be more liberally advertised to attract the attention of the tooth retrieval department.

Now I understand that it may seem more than a little unethical to go around advertising the fact of your claim, after all children are suppose to be seen and not heard. But if you wish the tooth reclamation department to take notice of your claim then you kind-of has to force them to notice. It is a sad fact that such incompetence plagues many governmental departments just not the tooth fairy and complaints and even protest often have to be mounted before governing bodies take notice and do a proper job.

Now don't get belligerent right away. Start out with a passive approach first. eg. 'Grandma, the tooth is ignoring my claim. I'm very sad. Grandpa the tooth fairy is rejecting my claim. I lost eight teeth, got them ripped out of my head and she isn't even responding. I feel shunned."

The more people who know of your situation the greater the chances of the information getting back to the tooth fairy and your claim getting processed.