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Why is it that if a woman slams a door during an argument she is venting and if a man slams a door he is an abuser trying to control her by frightening her?
Wiki User
∙ 17y ago
Abusive behavior is: Psychologically controlling their mate such as instilling fear into them, calling them names, threatening them with violence or playing head games. Physical abuse is kicking, punching, breaking bones, knocking out teeth, blackened eyes, split lips, etc. Most couples will have arguments and most will slam a door or two out of anger and frustration. The smart thing to do is just that. Get away from the other person giving you both a chance to cool off and to think things over. IT IS NOT ABUSE when either a man or woman slams a door, but frustration and anger. Sounds like you have a lot of issues to get resolved in your relationship so try sitting down with each other calmly (not accusing each other or yelling) but finding ways to better your relationship. Example: Perhaps you are seeing too much of each other so you can resolve this by each going out with your own friends and having a break from each other. If it's money problems, then sit down and try to work out a budget. If it's problems with children, then discuss how you can both back each other on the issues of raising your children and I might add, trade-off with friends (so no money is exchanged) and go out and have some fun. Good luck Marcy
Wiki User
∙ 17y ago
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Is it normal for a victim who has figured out her abuser to want to scream 'You are an abuser and you need serious help' during an argument?
Not to scream it, but definitely let them know
Why would your abuser not want you to be happy on your birthday?
Control.
If you unintentionally make your spouse afraid one time during an argument Should you be labelled an abuser considering it was not intended and an Abuser knowingly repeats his Abusive ways?
Well if its UNintended, then no it doesn't make you a abuser. The abuser continues his abusive ways even after it's been brought up to him or her. Just be sure to talk to your spouse about this problem. Let them know that you are sorry for what you did and you did not mean to do it.
Most people define Abuse as all about control If you do not control the other person Are you an Abuser because of minor verbal disagreements or arguments?
you are an abuser if you demean the other person (tell them they are worthless, stupid, lame, etc). whatever makes the person feel small and "less than" is abuse
Can an abuser easily forget his ex girlfriend who broke up with him?
Once the abuser realizes he does not have control of her, eventually he will give up and move on. Sounds to me as if he needs to seek help. Stay away from him. Don't answer phone calls. If he keeps bothering you, press charges against him. But no, the abuser will not "easily forget" about the ex-girlfriend.
How do you know for sure hes an abuser?
you can tell after any dispute whether it be an argument or a physical fight.If at thee end you feel hurt,down,disrespected,or violated.you are in an abusive relationship
The power relationship between the abuser and the victim?
The victim has no power or they would not be abused. The abuser always has the control. Children and the elderly are victimized often in society as well as men and women. The abuser will start out by abusing psychologically and 'put down' their victim until they leave their victim confused with no self confidence. The abuser may threaten to leave their victim (this is terrifying to the elderly); leave the wife and take the children; talk of killing the victim or anyone that is close to them. The abuser often isolates their victim so their victim has no family or friends to turn too and they have to suffer in silence and depend on their abuser.
Why is it not OK to expose the very people that use abuse and control their victim until the victim sees what is happening and realizes shes been scammed by narcissistic ego maniac on the prowl again?
It is OK to expose the person that uses abuse to control their victim, but it is the victim that has to report their abuser. Like any abuser whether narcissistic or has a large ego others do see these flaws in the abuser, but in many cases the victim at the beginning (unaware) often refuses to believe what others have to say about their abuser until the victim finds out the hard way. Many victims can feel ashamed or angry that it took them so long to figure out that the person they loved is an abuser, but abusers are extremely sly when it comes to luring their victims into their web. There is not much you can do about the abuser if you have left him, but you should get help from an Abused Woman's Center or a psychologist to learn the signs of abusive behavior so you do not make the same mistake twice. There are often small signs from an abuser from the beginning such as perhaps telling you what to wear; order your meals at restaurants and then slowly they alienate you from your family and friends. Then the abuser has you under their complete control and that is when the victim sees the ugly side of their abuser. You can tell anyone you like what the abuser is like and some will believe you and others will not or you can move forward in your life and realize you have learned from the bad relationship and will not make the same mistake again. Generally abusers will be caught at their own game.
Was David Pelzer a child abuser?
No he is not a child abuser.
Can avoiding an abusive argument be giving the abuser approval for his abusive behavior?
I can speak from experience but no two relationships are the same. I agree this could spark problems for the abuser to handle but if it truly is a violent relationship then i would not advise aggravating the situation unless my bags were packed and the engine running. Most abusive relationships are built on intimidation and control by standing up for yourself by reading and flaunting articles about abuse could cause a bad situation to become worse or or a week relationship to fall apart.
How do you know if you are an abuser like your wife says you are?
You could be a mental or physical abuser to your wife. If you call her names constantly, always remind her of how stupid she is; she can't cook well; is ugly; put her down constantly in front of your friends, etc., or you shove, push, hit or beat her (causing injuries to her body) you are an abuser. Even if you try to control her by threats of violence you are an abuser. An abuser is all about control. It's usually learned behavior within their own family or they have been excessively spoiled. An abuser wants control simply because he or she does not have control and the odd thing is .... even if you beat your victim (yes, that's right ... the abused is a victim) you will never totally own that person. You can beat them, terrify them, but you will never own their soul! Abusers need to control the environment around them and have everyone do their bidding. Since most of society would tell the abuser to "hit the road" the only one that the abuser has under their control is his girlfriend/wife and perhaps children. Abusers are actually weak of character and they know it. Within an abuser there is rage. It could be they were beaten themselves and had no control over the situation, they could have been bullied at school or didn't fit in. There are many reasons. There is psychiatric help to get to the bottom of the rage the abuser feels if they so decide to seek it out. If you feel you are abusive or you have problems that you can't resolve please seek out a good psychologist (does not prescribe medications) or a psychiatrist (they can prescribe medications.) There are also groups you can join so you don't feel so alienated. Please get the help! If you don't it will eventually all catch up to you and you can actually go to prison for physically abusing a partner (that includes women abusing men.) If you drink try and stop. If you do drugs the same applies. These two social beings do nothing to help your situation. I am proud you have come to this board to figure out if you are an abuser. It takes guts! Now that your post has been answered you have to decide if you are an abuser (be honest with yourself) and if you are please use that courage to seek out help. Good luck Marcy The answer about abuse is incorrect,,each person in a relationship has a role, its necessary to follow those responsibilities or the relationship will fail.
Why does your abuser tell you to get a job but then when you do he seems unhappy that you do?
ABUSE HAS ALOT TO DO WITH CONTROL. WHEN YOU DONT HAVE A JOB AND THEY DO THEY FEEL IN CONTROL AND USE IT AGAINST YOU BY THROUGHING IT IN YOUR FACE. BY YOU GETTING A JOB YOUR TAKING CONTROL AWAY FROM THEM AND THEY DONT LIKE IT. Thanks so much for your input.
