Why would your sister pick the time of your mother's death to settle unresolved bad feelings toward you and try to turn family against you at the hardest time of your life?

Answer 1

I am very sorry about your mother's death and all that you are going through. Each individual grieves in a different fashion. Your sister is probably angry because your mother died and all that's left are memories (some bad, some good). She's actually mad at your mother "for leaving" and feels guilty for unresolved bad issues with you and other family members and because of the hurt from the loss of your mother she needs to blame someone and thus, she lashes out. It takes time to get over grieving. If she won't listen to reason then realize that she has ghosts in the past to face as well as grief so stay clear of her if she doesn't want your help or support. One day she will come around. For now, look after yourself and because other family members know both of you it's highly doubtful they are going to believe a word she says. Remember that your mother loved all her children (good/bad) and it's going to be up to you to try your very best to resolve the anger in the future between your sister and you. If she won't accept it, then it's time to move on and there is no shame in that.