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What can you do if your narcissistic and abused ex-girlfriend was very abusive to you which made you an abuser and now you are very hurt and want her back so you can both try and change?
Wiki User
∙ 18y ago
It is very common for people that are abusive, depressed, alcoholics, drug addicts to want to stay with a mate that has gone through the same thing (or is like them.) They seem to find some bond. In fact, it's the worse thing that person can do. If they have managed to change any of the above bad habits, it's best to find a mate with none of these traits and their future is much more promising. When a person loves another they don't want to hurt that person and there are simply no excuses. People can control their anger if they put their minds to it. If they feel rage they can get out and go for a walk to cool off. Even though your girlfriend came from an abusive environment she is playing the "lame duck syndrome" using this as an excuse for her outbursts towards you. At any given time she could have gone to seek counseling for this problem and there are no excuses for not doing so, because abuse is talked about everywhere these days and she's well aware of it. It's just easier for her to go through life the way she is and expecting people to put up with her abusive behavior. If you try getting back with her then you are classified as an enabler and you're not helping her one bit. If you want to over-come your abusive nature then you must not see this young woman, get counseling of your own and move on. It doesn't sound like she wants help or she would have gotten it by now. Don't even think for a minute if you get the help and then try to help her it will work. She will probably be angry you did something about your abusive nature and will absolutely refuse to do anything about her own abuse problems. Sometimes we have to be brutally honest with ourselves and sometimes that means moving on from someone we love. When we look back a few months to a year or so later we really find that we had long ago stopped loving that person because the hurting never went away, nor the rage from the abuser. Good luck Marcy
Wiki User
∙ 18y ago
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Can a man from non-abusive upbringing become an abuser if abused by a partner who grew up in an abusive home with no therapy at all?
it is possible
Why do people stay in abusive relationship?
Several different reasons. One could be because the abuser has such a hold on the abused that they stay because they think that the abuser is the only person that will want them. There is also fear that if the abused left the abuser would hunt them down and make them pay for leaving in the first place. If you asked 10 different abused people why they stay (stayed) in they're abusive relationships I can almost promise you'll get 10 different answers. In some cases the abused person believes that she/he can fix the abuser, or for complex reasons might even feel guilt about leaving the abuser.
How an abusive parent affect a child?
Data shows that a child who is abused will in turn become an abuser later in life. The life of an abused child is affected his/her entire life.
Can you sue a narcissistic abuser?
yes
What is the primary motive of the abuser in an abusive relationship?
For the most part, those that show abusive behavior are reflectant of how they were treated during their childhood. Thus abusive behavior as adults is not only satisfactory because the abuser in a twisted way can identify with the abused, but also is a show of dominance and superiority for someone who, for the majority of their life as a child, were inferior to their caregivers.
Is it common for the abused victim to be smarter and better looking and more socially accepted than the abuser?
Yes. But it is also common for the abuser to be all of those things. Abusive realtions are common, physical and verbal, romantic and non.
Are you being abusive when you're the one being emotionally abused and you withhold affection?
No. Many times the abuser will tell you you are being abusive as a way to manipulate you into giving affection, which continues the abuse, as manipulation can be a form of abuse.
She got abused when she was smallso she abused him?
Yes, abuse is definitely something that is a learned behavior. That's not to say that everyone that is abused will become abusive but there is definitely a correlation between abusers being abused themselves. It's sad because in so many cases the victim becomes the abuser.
Is it normal for someone who has been abused to be obsessively reading books on abusive men or looking at abuse websites trying to find that one thing that will put the abuser in his place?
It might be necessary to get the person in for therapy. If nothing else, the therapist might be able to get the abused person to leave the abusive relationship and be a little less obsessive.
Can there be true love in an abusive relationship?
No. absolutely not. If you are being abused the person who is abusing you does not truly love you. the Abuser makes you feel responsible for his/her actions. therefore making you believe you are in love with that person.
Do you tell an abuser that he emotionally abused you?
Telling an abuser that he emotionally abused you depends on your expectations. Safety is the most important consideration, though- do not put yourself in a position of further abuse- emotional or physical- by confronting your abuser. If by telling him, you are expecting him to apologize or take responsibility for his behavior, you are very unlikely to be satisfied. Abusers are in denial, and they rarely will admit that their behavior is abusive or in any way wrong. The chances of an abusive man changing are very slim, so telling him hoping he will change is rather useless. If by telling him, you are standing up to your abuser, regaining control of your own life, and letting him know what he did to you and how it affected you, it might be worth telling him for your own recovery.
Where do you go for help to get rid of your abuser so you can hiding the bruises he is causing you secretly?
You could try a Women's Center For Abused And Battered Women...they can help protect and advise you on what to do about your abusive husband (spouse boyfriend ect...)
