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This is a very complex and difficult question. But the fact that you even ask the question is extremely important. Please, do not take what follows as "blaming the victim"; that is not the intent. Stay with me. He wants her to stay around, because he is looking for proof that he is a man, and doesn't really need to abuse a woman to be a man. But the conflict is very deep, and doesn't ever get resolved. The conflict comes from an infantile wound, and he's dealing with it in an infantile way--- by playing it over and over. He isn't going to break out of this cycle.
She wants him around because she is looking for proof that she is valued and loved. But like him, her wound is deep and goes back to a very early wound. The conflict for her is never resolved either, because she goes back to that child place, and plays it over and over, just like him.
The question means that she is beginning to think. She is beginning to realize that she is stuck in a senseless cycle. She is waking up. He will never prove to her that she is valuable. He will only keep proving that she has to keep seeking proof. The child in her can't see any further. but the woman can, and she needs to get some help to break away.
It's called brainwashing. It is a form of torture. Abusers repeatedly drill it into you that you are worthless, stupid, etc..often puncuated with threats and physcial violence. Abuse is about domination and control and an abuser exherts that over you. Of course this type of relentless message will affect you. The abuser gains control and domination over you. It is a form of brainwashing. Pure and simple. Prisoners of war have experienced such brainwashing and it is the same modus operendi. It is torture and it is brainwashing. The abuser is FORCING you to feel that way. Quite literally. In every human way possible. That is how you change someones mind and self-view...by inflicting psycological abuse, repeatedly. Thats what brainwashing is.
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How do you not let your abuser's family get to you?
Realize how worthless they are and that type of people usually stick together.
Most people define Abuse as all about control If you do not control the other person Are you an Abuser because of minor verbal disagreements or arguments?
you are an abuser if you demean the other person (tell them they are worthless, stupid, lame, etc). whatever makes the person feel small and "less than" is abuse
Was your abuser really that bad if you feel worse without him?
Abusers are bad. Period. It is common for someone who has been abused to feel lonely when the abuser becomes absent, but it is because of the stress of change. If you feel yourself running back to your abuser, get help. The situation will only escalate otherwise.
Will my boyfriend be an abuser if he yells at his mom?
Answer:The Boyfriend might become an abuser, but in the long run he will learn from his mistakes and i believe no, he will not become an abuser, if you feel like your being abused walk away =3
Does an abusive person turn everything around to make it your fault?
From my experience yet. This is apart of the guilt process. The abuser wants to make their victims feel that it is his/her fault that the abuse accured and if he/she hadn't done something or had done something better it would have never accured. The abuser will never take accountability for the poor choices he or she made.
If someone is an abuser and wants to stop what steps should he take?
The first - crucial - steps are to acknowledge that he is abuser and seek help. Abusers are usually in denial: If the abuser is also a narcissist (suffers from the Narcissistic Personality Disorder - NPD), this may be of some assistance:
Do women who appear depressed and worthless on talk shows where the topic is abuse feel that it is easier to feel depressed than to show the abuser that she is not afraid of him?
They have been abused for quite a while and start to internalize it. Most abusers are verbal as well as physical abusers. They manage to convince their victims that it's all the victims fault, and that they disserve what is happening to them. By the time many of them
What is a tone of contempt?
It is what someone sounds like when they feel worthless.
How would you feel if you make a long and futile?
I would feel like the journey is worthless and meaningless
Is a verbal abuser considered a sociopath?
sometimes a verbal abuser can be consider a sociopath they get involve and like the dirty talk and begin to make them feel and enjoy group talk that is abusive.
Why are you unhappy?
Maybe because you feel that you are worthless. Or, maybe because you feel that your life has got no meaning, no direction.
How would you feel if you make a long futile journey?
I would feel like the journey is worthless and meaningless
