How do you honor your deceased mother at your wedding?

Answer 1

Answer

There is no "official" protocol for honoring the deceased at a wedding, but here are some ideas I've seen work well:

1. If one has the freedom to create text for one's wedding ceremony, one can add a reference to the deceased and a moment of observation--silence, the ringing of a bell, music, the reading of a favorite passage.

2. You can also add a note to your program expressing love and gratitude to those who are "no longer present except in your hearts" and mention the deceased by name if you wish.

3. You can place a flower, candle, or photo on the chair where she would have been seated--the first chair next to the center aisle on either the bride's or groom's side, depending whose mother she was. You can put the flower on the chair as you approach the altar during the processional if you wish to call attention to the gesture.

4. You can tie a personal momento belonging to the deceased to your bouquet--I've seen rings, handkerchiefs, cameos--or tuck something in your handkerchief pocket, near your heart.

5. You can include her favorite flower in the wedding bouquet, corsages, or reception florals, and put a note of remembrance and explanation on each table. If your mother liked flowers or gardening, you could give favorite seeds as favors.

6. Couples will sometimes keep a photo of the deceased with them on their wedding day or put a photo on the wedding altar and offer a flower or light a candle during the ceremony (if desired, the photo can also be laid flat so only the couple can see it.)

7. You can place items of meaning to you and the deceased on a small table at the reception, along with a photo, flower, candle, or note of tribute.

8. You can light a candle for your mother at the beginning of the wedding ceremony to evoke her presence; this can be done with or without explanation.

9. Give your dad a big hug that day and tell him you love him and appreciate everything he and mom did for you, and that you keep her always in your heart and memory. A personal note to this effect is also a lovely keepsake.

Hope that helps!

Your deceased mother could also be mentioned in the Wedding Speech made to the bride or groom. That Wedding Speech could be made by the Best Man, Maid or Matron of Honor, Father of the Bride or Father of the Groom, or close friend or relative. It could also be made by the Wedding MC if the Wedding Emcee has been requested to make a speech. The acknowledgement doesn't have to be sad or tearful. Instead, it is simply a brief mention to acknowledge those who were unable to be at your wedding and to say that your mother would have been very proud of you on your wedding day.

Answer 2

How about having a toast to her in the reception?