If you have been away from your abuser for 6 months why do you still love him and miss him sometimes if you don't have that feeling of running back but you just keep thinking about him?

Answer 1

Good for you for leaving him! I'm very proud of you. I know it took a lot of guts to leave. First off, you have to realize you were a victim. Abusers are crafty and they woo their prey like a cobra. At first they are nice, then comes a few arguments (he always wants his own way) then he doesn't want to see your family or friends, isolates you, threatens you and tells you, you aren't much good for anything. An abuser brainwashes their victims. If any of us had to put up with day after day for years of being told we were worthless, got a beating, etc., the abuser would have us believing everything was our faults too. IT ISN'T YOUR FAULT! Love hon, is not someone being mentally abusive or beating the hell out of you. Love is gentle, kind, considerate and loyal. You just aren't use to being treated this way. You did the right thing by leaving him and right now you just feel lonely and afraid. He has had months or possibly years of making you doubt yourself, and what you are feeling right now is getting to know yourself (and you certainly are a good strong woman even if you don't feel like it right now) and you miss simply having a guy around, having someone tell you how to act and think, and that's the only thing you miss about him. You do not love this guy! I was married to a womanizing abuser myself and it's odd, I was always a strong-willed person all my life, but for some reason (probably just being young) this guy had me twisted and turned right where he wanted me. I married the jerk (ashamed to admit it) and not quite 4 years later I finally did what you did and left him. When I got my own apartment I felt so lonely and I cried for a month. I did get a new job, had friends, but had a void in my life. I am glad I hung on and didn't go back to him because that void feeling was the fact I had never had the chance to really get to know myself and my own strengths. Soon, I felt like a caged bird set free, eventually met a wonderful man and have been married for 33 years. I suggest you go to an "Abused Women's Center" in your area (or phone Mental Health and they will put you in the right direction) and take some of the programs they offer. They teach you tools to live by so you aren't so scared and also you'll learn to get out of the pattern of the need for an abusive man. Many abused women will go back to their abusers out of loneliness and the brainwashing techniques these creeps use. If they don't go back to their original abuser they usually choose another man that is an abuser simply because the victim is so use to being told what to do and how to act and she finds it difficult to know what she is capable of doing. Abused Women's Centers are great places to go and there are many women that are in your situation. That in itself will help you to lead a normal and healthy lifestyle. Good luck God Bless Marcy