What should you do if you are 15-years-old and so obsessed over a girl that you think about suicide when you live in the US and she lives in Canada?

Answer 1

There is a solution to every problem. You are very young (no I'm not going to give you a sermon here), and I know your pain feels deep just like anyone of us.

Instead of contemplating suicide, how about being more mature and together we'll figure out a solution to this problem and here are some ideas:

Go to a quiet place and think about your feelings. Then, you have to start being mature about it and realize that by taking your own life it doesn't solve a problem, but creates more. Your parents would be devastated and your girlfriend will feel terrible but JUST FOR AWHILE, because she will get on with her life. So, there you are dead, she feels bad, but gets over it and meets someone else. Now that doesn't make too much sense to me.

It's time to sit down with your mother and tell her how you feel. Trust in me when I tell you that your mother was once young too and she's had others in her life she has loved before she met your father. Pain is pain and yours in no less or greater than anyone else's. Be honest with your mother and let all your feelings in your heart free. Tell her everything! If you don't live with your mother (divorce problems) then talk to a favorite aunt about this or someone else in the family that you trust, but it has to be an adult in order for you to resolve your problem.

You have several solutions to your problem #1 phone this girl whenever you can (ask your mom about this) and better yet, write a long letter to her and express how you feel, but NEVER mention suicide because it won't change anything and she may get scared and refuse to speak with you and #2 with your parents help perhaps you could go visit this young girl (under parent's supervision.)

Instead of thinking of suicide think of the above solutions, and although you are a minor if you both love each other very much, in another 2 - 3 years you'll be free to move to Canada if you want. If you take your own life, then you are going on one final trip and resolve nothing.

You are NEVER alone. Reach out to your mother or father ... reach out to someone! There are solutions here.

Now, I'm thinking you are a great guy, have much to offer, are smarter than you give yourself credit for, and I'm counting on the fact that some of the solutions I have given you, you'll put them into action.

I also want to add, that when you take your own life, you are cheating many people. Why? Because everyone of us is very special on this earth and when we touch someone in our lives we leave an "imprint" and make good changes in just not our own lives, but that of the person we come in contact with. You'll be cheating yourself out of a lot if you take your own life.

If you don't think anyone would understand walk into any church and talk to the Minister, Pastor, etc., and have a chat with them. It's highly confidential and they can offer great help. Good luck Marcy

AnswerAlthough I don't do this often, I can't use other email address' right now because of the way my computer is set up for business so here is my email address: Maday1@shaw.ca

Please, just reach out to someone. I'm here for you if you need me.

Hang in there Marcy

Answeri really don't know how to thank you guys.... i know it sounded silly when i said I'm.....15 years old and i wont get anyone else with me in my troubles... ill be honest....I'm actually born in Jordan so my race is....Arabic sigh* and my parents are Arabic and they think that love is a shame...and they wont listen to me if i try talking to them

I'm born in Jordan but then i moved to Italy for 2 years then to US until now

and when I'm 16 or 18 i still wont get the chance to go Canada because # my parents #visa and my passport..but ill have a American passport soon ..that's my only hope..

and you guys may tell me..forget her if its that hard....but i really cant..i tried a lot..and 2 many girls told me they love me..but i really didn't care because i cant forget her....and i cant let the person she trusted (me) to touch or miss or love with another girl.

I'm in a hopeless case sit..... I'm 15 but i really think above my level and age.. and I'm really sick of life.......life is fun sometimes but....sick most of the time

aghhhh..sigh*.....i felt way much better after writing this.....thanks again guys love u all

thanks again

AnswerWell we love you too and that's why we don't want you doing anything foolish! You may be hurting now, but it NEVER lasts forever and there is ALWAYS a solution.

I know you'd be there for me, so stick around! I may need you soon.

When one speaks from the heart and no matter what age, it's never silly! You have every right to your emotions. Most of us, at least once in our lives has entertained the idea of the big "S" just like you, and it's a part of the life. The important thing is ... we don't do it, and being a whole lot older than you, I am so glad I never did, because I would have missed out on a lot of great things.

I have friends who are Arabic. I know a lot of the customs and I do understand how strict they are especially if your family came over to a Western country that has a whole different culture and certainly more freedom.

However, in talking to my friends they don't think love is a shame. I think you aren't quite understanding your parents or they are misunderstanding you. I do know that the males in the Arabic family (this also goes for Asian cultures) are most important and usually marriages are arranged. I think you parents must feel you should save yourself for someone that THEY choose.

Even though it means going against your family when you are of age, (they may have changed their ways a little by that time) you can still go to Canada. By the time you are old enough you have your own identity and of course your passport. Everyone has a tough time either leaving Canada for the U.S. or vice-versa even for a visit, but that's understandable. Don't give in! Where there is a will there is a way. Keep writing your girlfriend and talk from your heart through the pages of the letter.

I have never told you personally to forget her. I wouldn't do that because I know the pain is very real to you even at 15. I admire how you think about not cheating on your girlfriend and I know that's important to you. Go with what your heart says; it will never let you down.

You are only 15 and I do know what you mean when you say you think and act older. I highly believe that some young people can be what I call "old souls" and much more in depth with life than most adults are. I have a Goddaughter named Emily who is like that. She's just turning 16 and I find it hard to talk to her as a 16 year old, because she makes more sense than some of my older friends.

If you look back on your 15 years, ask yourself how fast those years went. I bet they went pretty fast! The older you get, the faster those years slip by. Well, if those 15 years slipped by so quickly, think of how quickly 3 more years will slip by and then you will be free to do as you wish.

You are a highly intelligent young man, so I hope you start having a better slant on life. Life is all around you. Look how free you really are living in the United States. Look around at the sky, ocean, lakes, flowers, birds, etc., and really listen. There is much more to life than just people. Listen to the sounds of "mother earth" and instead of wasting your time worrying about when you can see this young lady you love, start preparing yourself for when YOU WILL SEE HER! It's time, as you know from your own culture, that you start learning ways to find your inner self and inner peace, either through religion or mental/physical exercise. You don't even have to stick with your culture, but learn Tai Chi, Yoga, or something that you find that will teach you about your inner self. A smart person will always do that and like cars, every so often we need a good tune-up. LOL

I hope you keep coming back on the board. I did leave you my email address on a post, so please, if you ever need to talk just email me and I'll get right back to you.

Remember now ... patience, get writing those letters to this special young lady, and you will soon be old enough to make up your own mind as to what you want to do. Meanwhile, please enjoy life and your good friends. Your parents love and care about you, but are fearful of the love you feel because of your age. They mean no harm.

Always here Marcy