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Why would an ex abuser pretend he never got the message from his sister that you want it over between you and then approach you and say he knows you wanted to talk but he is not ready to talk yet?
Wiki User
∙ 12y ago
Abusers are about control, and it appears he has control of you right now. Why would you even bother writing a letter to give to his sister to give to him? It still sounds like he has a hold on you. The only reason anyone really writes a letter such as this is to either hurt the abuser, or hopes the abuser will "fix himself" and take you back. Abusers seldom change because they almost always refuse treatment by counseling. You should be having nothing to do with your abuser.
Because you are seeing your abuser and writing to him, then it indicates you aren't quite over him and hope he'll change. He won't! It would be to your best interest to seek counseling so you can learn the tools of how to deal with abusive personalities and not go back to your abuser or pick another partner that is abusive. It may sound odd to you, but often women of abuse are completely lost without their abuser because he has done such a good job of brain-washing her into thinking she can't control her own life without him.
There are wonderful programs at the "Women's Abuse Centers" in your area and they will teach you tools to protect yourself from ever being in another abusive relationship again.
Good luck honMarcy
AnswerHi Marcy:I meant this: I gave his sister a message as in I told her to tell him its over between us and I do not want to be in touch even as friends. Then after that a week later he approaches me and says he did not get the message and I said I would like to talk about it then he says hes not ready to talk yet. I don't see why cause i just wanted to end it and leave it be. So I don't understand. Anyhow, he knows hes dumped so that's all that matters. AnswerHi thereI fully believe you when you said that you gave a letter to his sister to give to him. What I was telling you was skip any contact with him and move on. He's controlling and he's going to control ANY situation his way and that's why he refuses to discuss it with you. What he has done is simply "dismissed" you until he's good and ready to talk. You haven't heard the last of him because if there is any breaking up to do he wants it on his terms because he is an abuser.
Good luck honMarcy
AnswerHi Marcy: I did NOT give his sister a letter. I gave her a message and all I said to her was tell him its over between us, that's it. There was no phone call or letter I sent. You are right, he is playing the control game. Basically hes letting me know he will call all the shots. Well it don't matter cause he cant call the shots now that I am not in his life. Thanks again. AnswerHi honSorry I made a mistake and said "letter." My brain cells are going! LOL I am so proud of you for getting away from him and you sound like a strong young woman and you're going to make it! I did!
Good luckMarcy
Wiki User
∙ 12y ago
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When will you tell your partner about your history of domestic violence?
That would be crazy if it was yourself who was the abuser, because you would want to pretend you're a good person!!
What makes people vulnerable to abuse and the power relationship between the abuser and the victim?
the abuser is called sadist & the victim is called masochist.
What is the most damaging messages a child learn from abuse is?
If the child is witness to the abuse, than the abuser is sending a message to the child that it is okay to do that to people.
Was David Pelzer a child abuser?
No he is not a child abuser.
The power relationship between the abuser and the victim?
The victim has no power or they would not be abused. The abuser always has the control. Children and the elderly are victimized often in society as well as men and women. The abuser will start out by abusing psychologically and 'put down' their victim until they leave their victim confused with no self confidence. The abuser may threaten to leave their victim (this is terrifying to the elderly); leave the wife and take the children; talk of killing the victim or anyone that is close to them. The abuser often isolates their victim so their victim has no family or friends to turn too and they have to suffer in silence and depend on their abuser.
When was Love Your Abuser created?
Love Your Abuser was created on 2007-01-30.
How What if your ex husband abuser get remarried and look not abuser to new wife?
Give him time. He will.
Is it normal for someone who has read abuse books and finally figured out the abuser to approach subsequent arguments with a mentality of 'I've figured you out so I'm not taking anymore crap from you'?
It's normal to want to react to the abuser but it isn't necessarily safe. Just get out of there and don't look back. Stay away from the abuser and don't give him a chance to harm you. Don't let him know where you are. Protect your life by going somewhere that he can't get to you. If you become defiant you are likely to get hurt. Just run.
Explain why both adults and children keep child abuse a secret?
There are many different reasons that children and adults remain silent about the "secret" of abuse, including: - scared that the abuser will hurt or fatally injure them - fear that the abuser will hurt or fatally injure a love one - embarrassment - the abuser convinced the victim that "no one will believe you" - the abuser convinced the victim that "you wanted it as much as I did" - the abuser uses bribes or any form of "currency" that the child needs or wants including attention, money, gifts, or special treats - the victim starts to believe he/she did "want it" simply because he/she wanted the items the abuser promised - just want to pretend it never happened - don't know it's abuse - the lack of words to define or describe what happed - the abuse occurred at night so that the incidents become clouded "as if a dream" - the victim dissociates so there is a wall between "now" and what occurred "before now", even during the abuse - the victim suffers from Stockholm's syndrom (start to have feeling for the abuser and will sympathised with the abuser) Parents who do nothing after being told by a child about abuse often do not tell anyone because: - the parent is the abuser in many cases OR.... - the parent/s do not understand the danger of abuse, even if they have another child in the home - the abuser is the mother's boyfriend so the mother chooses her boyfriend over the child - the abuser is the mother's boyfriend and the mother cannot get away from him - the abuser is the father who also commits domestic violence--the mother feels she cannot safely leave and take her children with her - the abuser is the spouse or boyfriend who has threatened the mother as well as the kids and the victim - the parent fears involvement of child welfare - the parent was also an abused child so he or she thinks "I got through it, so can you" - the parent feels powerless - the parent is in denial - the parent has a mental illness and is ineffective at protecting a child - the abuser is the parent's workplace boss and the parent needs the job so therefore chooses not to tell the authorities OR.... Both parents or the mother and a live-in boyfriend commit the abuse together against the child.
When was Love Your Abuser Remixed created?
Love Your Abuser Remixed was created on 2008-09-23.
What are the evils of the computer?
The computer in and of itself is not evil, it is an inanimate object. The user is the abuser and it is the abuser who causes the evil.
What actors and actresses appeared in Abuser - 2009?
The cast of Abuser - 2009 includes: Sergio Montoya Gino Montoya
