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Because your abuser has a low self esteem and any potential set back or competition even from the past is a threat to him that is whats up with all the questions even if your ex was a better lover if you want to avoid future abuse you either lie or get out of the relationship. If it were me going through thge abuse I would first get a safety plan in place neighbors, friend to call the police if they hear any thing out of the normal, then when the time is right get out of that relationship as soon as possible. before he seriously injures you or someone you love, do not believe him when he says that it is just you and him, and that no one else will love you, because if he loved you he wouldn't abuse you. LOVE SHOULDN'T HURT.

AnswerYou should go on the web and find out what an abuser is. The more you educate yourself the more you can understand how these people work their victims and knowledge gives you power. Before you know it you won't need him in your life.

The reason your abuser is questioning you about your ex is because abusers lack self confidence, they probably have been brought up in an abusive environment themselves, they have few friends or if they have any they keep the secret that they are abusive. Abusers need to control their environment because they "make up" their own personalities. He feels threatened that your ex could be a better lover and in his mind, he just can't accept that. Abusers seldom have any idea how to treat ANYONE in their lives, and it's all about them. They can be extremely cold and calculating individuals.

Your statement "why would your abuser" sounds like a normal person saying, "why would my husband" or "why would my boyfriend" rather than the fact, the situation you are in is a bad one and you should be thinking of leaving this guy.

Please seek out an "Abused Women's Center" in your area and if you can't find one please locate your "Mental Health Clinic" in your area and they will find one for you.

I am very worried about you because your statement leads me to believe that you have accepted this way of life. You deserve better hon!

Good luckMarcy

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โˆ™ 2011-09-13 17:26:25
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Q: Why would your abuser ask you if your ex-husband was a better lover than him?
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