Because your abuser has a low self esteem and any potential set back or competition even from the past is a threat to him that is whats up with all the questions even if your ex was a better lover if you want to avoid future abuse you either lie or get out of the relationship. If it were me going through thge abuse I would first get a safety plan in place neighbors, friend to call the police if they hear any thing out of the normal, then when the time is right get out of that relationship as soon as possible. before he seriously injures you or someone you love, do not believe him when he says that it is just you and him, and that no one else will love you, because if he loved you he wouldn't abuse you. LOVE SHOULDN'T HURT.AnswerYou should go on the web and find out what an abuser is. The more you educate yourself the more you can understand how these people work their victims and knowledge gives you power. Before you know it you won't need him in your life.
The reason your abuser is questioning you about your ex is because abusers lack self confidence, they probably have been brought up in an abusive environment themselves, they have few friends or if they have any they keep the secret that they are abusive. Abusers need to control their environment because they "make up" their own personalities. He feels threatened that your ex could be a better lover and in his mind, he just can't accept that. Abusers seldom have any idea how to treat ANYONE in their lives, and it's all about them. They can be extremely cold and calculating individuals.
Your statement "why would your abuser" sounds like a normal person saying, "why would my husband" or "why would my boyfriend" rather than the fact, the situation you are in is a bad one and you should be thinking of leaving this guy.
Please seek out an "Abused Women's Center" in your area and if you can't find one please locate your "Mental Health Clinic" in your area and they will find one for you.
I am very worried about you because your statement leads me to believe that you have accepted this way of life. You deserve better hon!
Yes, if brought to the court's attention, a domestic abuser would not be granted custody of a minor.Yes, if brought to the court's attention, a domestic abuser would not be granted custody of a minor.Yes, if brought to the court's attention, a domestic abuser would not be granted custody of a minor.Yes, if brought to the court's attention, a domestic abuser would not be granted custody of a minor.
This is not only very unlikely, but could have some very violent results. Abusers usually stay away from other abusers, as they are difficult to control. The abuser may accuse the victim of being the abuser, but this is not the case. I will assume that your diagnosis is current, however, for this question. An abuser would marry another abuser due to a history of abuse in childhood. The initial abuser would be very confused. Having grown up in an abusive environment, he has witnessed both the victim and the abuser. The child usually grows up to become one of these two options. In this case, it appears that the child grew up to become both. If this is the case, the abuser will be very confused and will probably have a split personality in which he either plays the role of the abuser or the victim. The problem will come when both abusers want to play the 'abuser' role, and neither feels like playing victim. This could become very dangerous.
From my experience yet. This is apart of the guilt process. The abuser wants to make their victims feel that it is his/her fault that the abuse accured and if he/she hadn't done something or had done something better it would have never accured. The abuser will never take accountability for the poor choices he or she made.
I am no expert on this, or anything else, for that matter, but I would suspect the answer is no. Spousal abuse is like any other form of bullying; it is a power game. The abuser has no respect for the abused person; there is no love in the relationship. NO!!! And if he tells you he is, he isn't. Don't believe it. Get out and get a real man that doesn't need to use his fist. You are better than that.
The victim has no power or they would not be abused. The abuser always has the control. Children and the elderly are victimized often in society as well as men and women. The abuser will start out by abusing psychologically and 'put down' their victim until they leave their victim confused with no self confidence. The abuser may threaten to leave their victim (this is terrifying to the elderly); leave the wife and take the children; talk of killing the victim or anyone that is close to them. The abuser often isolates their victim so their victim has no family or friends to turn too and they have to suffer in silence and depend on their abuser.
It is never wrong to abandon an abuser - especially if you find that you can forgive him no longer. It is not wrong to leave an abuser, his statements that he will change, even if he feels he is sincere, most likely are not. chances are any changes he would make would be temporary and it will not ever be like the early days again. you have changed and matured that is why you cannot forgive him. you know you deserve better! Don't ever regret leaving your abuser. How many times before did he say he would "change?" How often have you heard those words. Has he come through yet? It will never be like the early days, because those were days when he put the charm on to lure you in.
It would really depend on the people in the equation. Do you still have feelings for your ex lover? Does your ex lover still have feelings for you? Do you have a new lover? There are many variables that go into this. The best thing to do would be to sit down and talk with however many people will be involved.
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