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Breakups
It takes two to make it work, but only one to break it up. This is the place to ask questions about the pain, healing, and possible solutions to relationship break-ups.
8,665 Questions
Always do what is best for you and don't stay in any situation that you are not happy in as its not good for you or fair to that other person. With that being said jumping from one long term relationship and then into another is also not good for either person you have to allow yourself some time between relationships.
i feel you honey ,, but listen, your son needs you just as much as you need your son,i know the pain can be sometimes unbearable, but you must rise above it and be strong for your son.if he chose someone else ,them that's his loss .( when a broken wrist heels its twice as strong )but its the heeling process that's the hardest .freinds and a glass of wine can help to.. you will be fine , because you have to be fine ...........for your son,,, see you after the rain .......
Pray, let God heel you of this burden you are carrying. Let Him pour his blessing and peace over you. He loves you and wants to help.
How do you change a lover into a friend instead?
Tell them that u think that u should break up and u would like for each other still to be friends.
Your boyfriend says hes going to start spanking you for disobeying him is that normal?
Careful with that... Maybe he is just joking around. Or maybe he is trying to find a way to bring a little playful spanking into your lovemaking. Nothing wrong with that as long as you are OK with it.
But I would be concerned about a guy getting physical if you don't comply with his orders. Some guys are very controlling. Will spankings turn into real beatings? Watch his behavior carefully. If you think this might the case, you might need to get out of this relationship before it is too late.
Is it rude to ask someone out or break up with them by text?
Asking out is fine. Only a low life would breakup via email, text or phone. Who would want to even talk to someone that did that? its ok to ask them out by text but so rude to break up with them by text
How do you get an ex-boyfriend back?
If you were dumped. First, stop begging. Give yourself some space. Gather yourself, be calm, cool and collected. The agree with the break up. Then deflect rejection. Gain the upper hand by saying, "I guess you are right. We are not right for each other." You can also gain the upper hand by feeding him the rejection he gave you. That will make him curious why you got over him so quick. Then he'll ask you to be his friend. Don't say no, but the more he wants to be your friend, the more you should remain civil with him. Don't give EVERYTHING he wants. Be his part time friend, and meanwhile look as good as you can, join a gym, be sexy. Do not let him fall in the comfort friend zone. But do not get into a rebound relationship because that will make him think you need someone. Remain single, half available. Men want what he cannot have. Be the person he cannot have. Don't try to play too hard to get though, just remain a subtle distance, make sure he knows you are moving on and doing stuff with your life. Andonce you gain the upper hand, you Will feel so much better about yourself. He pushed your buttons. You can push his. You can be his friend, not best friend, because men wants a lover, they want challenge and be that challenge.
To most men Love is a game you have to realize that you want them back first of all. then you have to play there game, the game is jealousy. they want to make you the most jealous person in the world. So if you live with Your Ex, Wear Tight Clothing, Short Shorts. And Flirt with there Best friend. This Makes them Jealous. Then Try and be friends With him and show that you want him but you don't want connections. Then With in a Month or so He'll Come running Back. That's the Game of Jealousy.
I am sorry you are hurting so much, and even the next few words I will say will not make you feel any better right now, but in time, you will either get back together or you'll move on. Most people have been hurt by someone they loved during their youth. It hurts like hell! It feels like you're never going to get over it, but we all do. That old "friendship" bit sure comes up a lot and it's never changed from generation to generation. I agree with you ... it would hurt too much to be just friends. I suggest when you are feeling up to it, agree with her on remaining friends, BUT ... pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start going out with other girls. You just never know if there is that right girl out there for you and, there is also a possibility that if you stop hanging around your ex girlfriend and are just pleasant with her, but appear busy then she may realize she does love you after all. Human nature is a strange thing indeed .... most of us want what we can't have. Good luck Marcy
Added to my last post...they are pathological liars with the ability to build dramatic relationships and situations within their lives in order to feel. It is true about the pathological lying, part of the diagnosis! they will never admit fault either, it damages their ego! Sorry, I totally forgot to specifically answer your question. The reason why he/she denied all the horrible things that he/she did is because they can selectively remove parts of their memories in order to protect themselves from being wounded..and then they continue trying to gain narcissistic supply. Again, the repeated theme of lack of empathy...the inability to care about what their actions do to others. Pathetically, as long as they can keep reeling people in to use, they remain satisfied.. though satisfaction, happiness and contentment are not emotions that a narcissist can have. Peace...off to the gym to take care of myself and improve MY ego! mbme I agree that totally ignoring the N is the right thing to do. You have been emotionally wounded by someone who does not have the abiity to feel empathy. Therefore, stop all contact, look within yourself and find the strength to say..."I will never hear an apology because he/she has a mental disease and I can't help him/her. I loved as much as I could in this relationship but it is beyond this person's capability to love me back normally". Try to understand that if you keep expecting something from this person that is good, you will be disapointed or deceived. Think of yourself now. A relationship with an N is traumatic and heartbreaking...do you know that post traumatic stress disorder is one of the symptoms you can have when leaving a N? Depending upon the depth of your love for him/her...the harder it is. Good luck. Read these posts. Good people are speaking to you who have experienced this...take heed. It is utterly amazing to read these posts and to realize that their experiences with N's have been exactly like yours and mine! Believe me. By the way, this is excellent therapy too. I begin mental health counseling next week and I will be sharing it with all of you. Thank you all, and peace. mbme I really wanted to do this too! How great it would be to get it all off your chest to tell the N exactly what you think of him! I am resisting this very thing though and I'll tell you why. Maybe it will help you. From the help and advice from the people on this post, I have come to believe that anything less than zero contact is probably detrimental to moving on. First of all, any reaction an N gets from you is fuel for their narcissistic supply. By letting him know that you were upset, he may derive some sick pleasure and validation from that. Why give it to him? Of course he will blame you and try to make you feel guilty. He is incapable of taking any responsibility. Don't beat yourself up that you actually wrote the letter. If it made you feel better than that is good. I would hope that you would sever any more contact, hold your head up, move on and seek someone that will treat you right. Good luck! How about calling him to tell him you're never calling him again! ANSWER I have not known anyone with strong N traits (and I have known several such people well) who would ever admit to having done something "wrong" within the relationship. What we usually get from these people is a sneering explanation of how WE "misunderstood" something and "totally imagined" something else and "how did you come up with THAT?" kind of response. Whatever, it's always our fault if there is any kind of problem. There's no dealing with these people unless you're willing to be a total slave to their whims. And here's the kicker: once you're their slave, they despise you and go find someone else more interesting, more challenging, or at least different. Run for your life NOW and stop ALL contact with this person. Try to not even think about him. Get help if you need it to heal and recover from this trauma of being made to feel worthless and filled with longing for an abusive person. You deserve better. Georgette
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ITS AALYAH (PERSON THAT ASKED THE QUESTION), U KNOW WHAT U R TOTALLY RIGHT, I GOT A CALL FROM HIS NEW GIRLFRIEND TODAY SWEARING AT ME CALLING ME ALL SORTS OF DISGUSTING NAMES AND HE WAS IN THE BACKGROUND LAUGHING AND CALLIN ME ABUSE AS WELL. I NOW KNOW IT WAS NEVER LOVE AS HE IS THIS ABUSIVE SINCE HE FOUND THIS OTHER GIRL, WHO HE MET WHILE HE WAS WITH ME, I HAVE WOKEN UP NOW. BUT I AM SERIOULSY DEPRESSED, HE LEFT FOR HER, CHEATED AND ABUSED ME AND NOW HE HAS NO HEART FOR ME WHATSOEVER, I NEVER IMAGINED THIS IS WHAT HE WAS REALLY LIKE. I HAVE WOKEN UP, BUT HOW DO I GET OVER IT NOW? NO OTEHR GUY COMPARES TO HIM, I NO THAT SOUNDS SICK, BUT THEY DONT. I FEEL WORTHLESS, TORN, AND CANT GET THROUGH THIS. HOW DO I FORGET HIM AND STOP CRYING EVERYDAY
I feel your pain girl! I really do! You have to remember that it is what they do. A snake bites and it hurts, but would we be more careful...of course we would. So why do we take these slime bags back? It's emotions...they are involved, and they created an illusion for us, and that's what makes us hold on to. I know this because my narcissist was not bad all the time, so the illusion of him being nice is what I held on to, cause then you think that's the way he's going to be with other woman. Well, he will be for a while, but then in time she will do something that is not to his liking and he will begin to devalue her as well. ITS AN ILLUSION HE CREATED SO IN THE END YOU THINK YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM! It's bull crap! He's a abuser, and that's what abusers do, they abuse. Like a snake bites, cat's meow and dogs bark.
Please read up on narcissistic personality disorder, and you'll learn alot. Stay strong girl...i still cry every day but you have to pick up and move forward...And separate yourself physically...no contact is a must....for the clouds to clear.. Remain emotionally neutral for a while. Take care of your beautiful self.
P.S. I thought i mean't every thing my ex N, but in the end to him I was worn out, washed up and not of use for him anymore.. exactly how he said it, and exactly how he planned it too. You cannot relate to someone who is not normal. We are kind loving human beings, they are vampires..waiting to suck the life out of someone whom will allow them to do it. Lesson learned...I'd say!
if you were on a break he may have done it to get you jealous so you would get back with him i have the same answer
What is a good song to send your ex boyfriends new girlfriend?
If he is your ex and he has moved on with a new girlfriend you should move on as well - forward. It is best you leave them both alone as interferring and trying to bother them will not do anything but cause problems and make you look bad in the end. I realize you may be hurt that he has moved on but in time you will see that letting them be and moving forward with your life it isn't worth it in the end and not worth the time - it will make you the mature and better person.
Don't be hurt or offended. He remembered where it came from and evidently displayed it so now he simply needs to downsize his possesions. He could have sold it or thrown it out and you never would have known the difference. Instead he offered to return it to you to complete your gesture from the past.
yes dear it is not only a sign of cheating but you can say it is cheating don't let it be happened. even i was trapped once that's why I'm telling that if it is happening with you then be cautious and dump him before he dumps you or discuss with him about this matter and demand for your right all the very best for your love life...
You cant stop thinking about your ex what do you do I miss him so much?
move on, if you sit at the house all the time, get out with your friends meet new people. heck you might meet a new guy that takes your exs place!
Why won't ex girlfriend who cheated on me talk to me?
- When a couple breaks up then 'ex' means you are no longer a couple and she probably has moved on (as you should) or, she is embarrassed about the whole mess. Expecting to be friends with a girlfriend that cheated on is jumping from the frying pan into the fire ... in other words, move on and don't worry so much about your ex girlfriend not talking to you.
My boyfriend and I broke up because he wants to spend more time with his child?
- It sounds as if your ex boyfriend not only wants to see his child more often, but wants to get back with the mother of his child because if he didn't there is nothing stopping him from staying with you and introducing you to his child.
How do you stop contact from crazy ex girlfriends?
- Is she really, technically insane? If so, then you could submit her to a mental hospital or find someone to help her and help her get over the issue. It's not really your problem, but, still, you could. If she's not really crazy, then you could do a variety of other things. Block her number from your phone, ask for a new number from the phone company, get a new lock/alarm code on your house if she has a key/knows the pass code, not go to places where you know she commonly goes, or even get a restraining order against her if it gets really bad.
- The key words are 'ex girlfriends!' It's apparent you are partly to blame by keeping in contact with them. One young women bothering you is possible, but not 'ex girlfriends' which indicates more than one. Be honest with yourself; you lead these girls on and are playing a game with them until you get bored. All you need to do is stop playing the game; block the email address; not answer your cell phone or home phone and if by chance you do have one young woman that will just not give up then you can tell her if she does not stop you will have her served with a 'Cease and Desist Order.'
How do you know to want to break up with u?
If a relationship doesn'tfeel right or you do not feel comfortablewith a relationship or you find out something that you girlfriend/boyfriend did, has done, or is doing and you don't want to be with them anymore you should go to them and tell them what's bothering you or why you don't want to be with them verses just breaking up with them or feeling that way all throughout the rest of that relationship. It will either turn out to be a break up or you will work something out. Hopefully if you break up with your girlfriend/boyfriend you will still be friends.
What does it mean to be considered ex police?
To be considered an ex-police officer means that at one time the person worked as a police officer. The person would be considered an ex-police after they were either laid off, quit, or retired.
How do you make a boy fall in love with you who has rejected you?
- If a boy rejects you then he doesn't have any chemistry between himself and you and unfortunately you are going to have accept that and move on. If you chase him you will lose your self respect in his eyes and it will only put a further wedge between you. Start dating other boys and you just never know there is a slight possibility this boy who rejected you may look at you differently.
How do you stop thinking of a man who dumped you and you love very much?
Time heals all wound and this is when time can be a blessing. Take the time for yourself and sort out your personal feelings, keep busy as to not dwell on your sadness and let yourself get over this as we all do. Be thankful for the time you did have with this person and take away what you have learned from this relationship. Think of it this way if we didn't feel this hurt and sadness from time to time how would we know how good it feels to be happy and in love. Things will get better.
Firstly you need to get some independence and self confidence going for you. When someone dumps their partner then they have their reasons and if they were mature enough they should communicate their reasoning's to their partner as to why they want to break off the relationship.
Why you are trying so hard to remain friends is beyond belief. This guy dumped you and now he's telling you he loves you, but doesn't want to be with you? Think about it!! This guy is a piece of work and not worth the trouble. He hasn't got the guts to tell you it's over and that he feels you should move on (which you should!) When someone loves you they want to be with you. Don't settle for less in your life, but free yourself up and expect the best for yourself in life. If you don't become more independent and self confident in your life you will always end up being someones door mat.
Well this is a hard situation. that has no good answer it is always good if you share how you feel with your partner. do something that he likes like take him for dinner at a nice place and share how you feel. and work from there
