Cheating

Check over his credit card/gasoline /phone receipts. Ask him how his workday was. Check his clothing for stains/perfume.

If you suspect that he is going out publicly with another woman, blithely mention to him one day that a friend or yours saw him with this woman in public. Keep your tone light and conversational. He may admit to having been in public with this woman, afraid that someone really did see them together.

If you feel your suspicions are well grounded, I would suggest confronting him with the affair.

have him followed, hire a detective - use your instincts..they are free and usually correct...

He already knows I suspect him, and he is extremely careful. His credit card, cell bill, ect. goes straight to his office. He drives out of town alot with his job,and can't be followed,as he drives to pretty remote areas, and he would instantly know if he was being followed. He's also very careful to not leave anything in his wallet , pockets ect.

I'd say to him on returning from a job. Sorry honey, I'm leaving, sick of your lies and dishonesty. You can do better. The fact is he will never own up to it so put yourself out of your misery and move on. It's hard but you will thank yourself in the long run. If you are suspecting it, you're gut is telling you something, listen to it.............................Take it from me..I've been through it..There is someone out there for you, just believe in that..There is better..

Quoting the last post:

Sounds like you already know the answer.

It's hard to caught a cheater especially when you try to plan it. But I believe no matter how sneaky the cheater is, some evidence will still left out. Cheaters won't win forever, because sooner or later the truth will come out from the surface.

Look at your relationship: is it what you truly want? Do you have the best, loving person you can imagine in your life? Are you your best self with him? And, as Dear Abby says, would you be better off without him? If so, skip all the investigation and move to the heart of the matter. It sounds like he has already left you.

Dee - do you mean separated as in 1) broke up or just 2) not in the same location? If number 1, then he wasn't cheating. If number 2, then, no, your're not being unreasonable.

I've been there. Separated or together it doesn't matter. He has no business hanging out with ex-lovers no matter what the excuse, it makes you uncomfortable and that's reason enough to drop them off his radar screen.

Oh Yea, and if the "but they are my friends" conversation takes place, tell him REAL friends don't risk their friendship by becoming lovers.

A relationship that starts with lies and deceit is a house of cards from the beginning.

I do not believe so because can you really ever trust that person?

if there is a real connection and love most relationships could last no matter how it started

Please see my response to "Has anyone gone from a mistress to a new wife and still feels the relationship was true love?" on this site. I have experienced the other side, but can remember what it was like to be where you are now. However, our promises to each other WERE fulfilled. My contact information is at the bottom of my entry if you would like to contact me personally. I certainly empathize with your situation.

It's worked for me. My wife left her husband shortly after she and I began seeing each other again (We were high school sweethearts). We're still happily married... I think.

Yes, definitely. As long as both new partners are committed to unflinching intimate honesty. When a relationship starts as an affair there is opportunity for many resentments and fears to take over. But if you remember to try and stay as rational, loving, and honest as possible love can prevail. This has happened for me and even though we've encountered many difficulties along the way, our love has been worth it all. No regrets on either side.

Maybe there's a small ammount of stable ones, but they usually don't work out long term--too many issues over trust and pain were brought into the current relationship from either person's previous one. Neither person had time to themselves to deal with issues from the previous relationship before they jumped into a new one.

There will always be a doubt about the other person's fidelity--they persuaded a prior person that they loved them, but cheated on them, it's not an impossibility that the same feelings and situation will reoccur.

NO!!! If the person you committed an affair with cheated on there spouse, then the chances are it will happen to you!

This is a very tough question as many men (or women) can be bi-sexual making the problem harder to catch. There is just no fast rule for catching him on this one. I'd sit down and talk it out with him. You must have good reason for suspecting this. Good luck Marcy

I have had a real bad experience when it comes to relationship.... it was really a bad moment when i found out my ex is cheating on me..... thanks to the help of phackers483 @ gmail.... reddit introduce me to him and i seek his service to get to know what is going behind my relationship... i was really glad to know the truth and was able to stay away from bad relationship

When you really love someone all you want to do is be with them, so I'd say neither of you love each other at all. You both are quite immature and are "in love with love." It appears egos are going full steam ahead and it's obvious both of you need "stroking" to prove you are attractive to others of the opposite sex.

It sounds as if you are both fairly young, so it's best to split up and start dating other people. If you settle down with someone too early in life often times you find out too late you have made one big major mistake.

The best thing to do is sit down and communicate with each other, be honest, and go your separate ways. Neither of you are ready to settle into a serious relationship.

Good luckMarcy

If he is not willing to admit that is an obvious answer that he is guilty. Unless, you have continuously falsely accused. Of course if he is guilty he does not want to talk about it! Men will deny it until they die because they dont want to lose their options. You are an option for them, incase it does not work out with the other person they still can be with you. If they admit it they know that they have lost you permanently.

To me some older men are simply preditors for younger women. Around the age of 40 and up men go through a type of menopause (use to be called "midlife crisis" and although there are men that don't cheat, some do because they feel they are getting older, missing out on something and want to attract a young woman to feel youthful again. You are a trophy to play secret games with in a crowded room while he admires you secretly knowing you are his and some men will do almost anything to keep it that way. Be careful! You are not a doll up on a dusty shelf that he can haul down, wipe off and play with at his leisure. You are a person with feelings and a future. Remember, there is a wife at home (perhaps with children) that may possibly not know what is going on. How would you like to be that woman? You are a prize possession to this man at the moment. He may honestly think he loves you, but he's in love with youth and the "thrill of the run" landing a young and probably pretty girl. There is absolutely little future running around with a married man. If there was, then he would have no problem getting a divorce as soon as possible. I bet if you ask him when he is going to get a divorce and perhaps marry you, you'll get: "You know I love you with all my heart, but I just can't leave my wife right now .. she's ill" or how about this one, "I'm trying to find the right time to tell her, please be patient" or here's the real clincher, "It's more complicated than you think. Trust me!" (said the spider to the fly!) He wants the comfort of sneaking around on his wife, playing around with a mistress, and deciding when he has had enough and perhaps either returning to his wife or moving on to another mistress. It happens more often than you think. This decision is up to you, but there are always consequences to pay. Perhaps one day he'd look at you and find you aren't attractive enough for him. A pretty face is nothing if you don't have a good soul, keen heart and loyalty. In life, it's what is inside each of us that counts and not the outter part of us. Don't be dazzled by the attentive nature of this man, and always be on your toes. If you were wise you'd pick on a single guy anytime.

you can tell if your boyfriend is cheating if he is not spending time with you. i don't mean when he is not working. if all falls just ask are you cheating, of course you know that he may not tell the truth. there are many sign to a cheating man. some woman don't like to face the facts that he is cheating in your face. if you believe in your heart that something is going on there is. make surprise visit on lunch or at his home.

The main thing that you have to realize when you wonder why your boyfriend is looking at other girls is that it has nothing to do with you. Men look at women period, it's perfectly natural. All men, especially young men have a lot of testosterone pumping through our veins and that makes us instinctively want to seek out mates. Men from the time that we discover that we like women until probably the day we die are always noticing and evaluating pretty much every woman we come across, even if we don't find them particularly attractive.

This has no bearing whatsoever on whether your boyfriend might be happy in your relationship or if he might find the girl across the room more attractive then you. Nor is it an indication that he might be cheating or wanting to cheat. It's like if I had a great car that I loved and would never part with, I would still notice other cars on the road. Some might even have nicer tires or a sexy paint job but I have a special bond with my car and I am not about to just trade it in because a flashy convertible catches my eye.

Now looking at other girls is a problem though if he is being creepy or obvious about it or doing it in front of you. Then it is disrespectful and you should say something. Don't demand that he stop looking at other girls. It's completely unreasonable to expect that he really will, even if analytically he agrees that he shouldn't want to. He might tell you that he will but he will mostly likely be lying to make you happy and he might start seeing you as insecure and resent you for trying to control him. What you can do though is ask him to not check out other girls in front of you. Doing so front of you is disrespectful and he should at the very least be able to not do it while he is with you. If you are young this might be difficult because during their teens men have a lot more testosterone in them.

Just be cool about it and remind him nicely if you catch him slipping. There is nothing more attractive to a guy then a girl who is laid back and secure.

The first evidence that you can look for is when she starts buying more new clothing than she used to. If you are already spending months or years together as boyfriend-girlfriend, you must have been familiar with how your girlfriend dresses and how she purchases clothing for herself. Although there are girls who become suddenly interested with clothes, this will still become a big puzzle to you especially if you are used to seeing your girl wearing simple clothes and buying only new items when there are important occasions to attend.

If you notice this sudden need to buy new items of clothing, be more watchful because the reason behind could be to create a new look and feel more attractive to the man she is seeing behind your back. Give more special attention on whether she buys new underwear or lingerie because these are big clues on how to tell if your girlfriend is cheating.

Other evidences are receipts and unexplained extra mileage on the car. These two can provide you with loads of information and help you on how to tell if your girlfriend is cheating. When your girlfriend cheats, her buying habits change as well as the frequency of usage of the car. Although these changes can happen even to those girlfriends who are not cheating but merely finding ways to have more fun, these are still strong evidences to consider.

Check the receipts of her purchases and take note of the mileage on the car at the start and end of the day. Do the receipts show purchases of new underwear, men's items like cologne and shirt but you never remember them being given to you or to anyone you know, and large amount of credit for her cell phone? Do you see a big difference between the distance she said she traveled and what the counter on the car says in reality? The answer to these questions will sure be of big help on how to tell if your girlfriend is cheating.

And lastly, evidences like her cell phone and phone bills will also help you determine if your girlfriend is indeed cheating. Do you find strange numbers on her cell phone and phone bills? Is there someone calling her more often and does she try to get distant from you when somebody calls? If you answer yes to these, then consider them as indicators that something is really going on. But do not confront her at once; you must dig deeper by looking at other ways on how to tell if your girlfriend is cheating. You can look at the address book to check the strange number or you can try calling it and listen to the voice at the other line.

okay, first of all, you are not cheating...he is the one who is cheating. However, it would be great if u left him because he might be cheating on you too...

Men are very visual, they love beauty and especially beautiful women. Even though you may be the love of his life what is wrong with appreciating beauty. Very few women look the same and myself find it iteresting how every women is different. ITS JUST PEOPLE WATCHING. Look at other boys all the time ;)

I think that if that happens you should soooo totally tell her up front that u found out so n so n make sure before u tell her u are shure she is cheating on u....n if she is then tell her u dunt like her anymoree and tht u don't want her to move down there n if she does u wouldn't caree or sumthing like that n try n get over herr but most imp. MAKE SHURE SHES CHEATING ON YOU BEFORE YOU TELL HER ANYTHING!

* From a man's point of view. It's human nature to wander and to be curious for what ever turns their crank. Everyone is different and we wander in what ways they may be so, apart from the physical characteristics that may be obvious. When most partners notice this is being done by their lovers they also want to know what do they look at and what do they have that causes them to look? Well now this is where the lying begins. Most women say that they don't mind because it's their way of getting the truth about what it is that they are looking at (what does she have that I don't) and if the other person they are looking at has something that you don't have this usually causes the 'I'm not good enough' feelings or some kind of argument about comparison between two people thus, lowering ones self esteem. To avoid such confrontations men and women lie to save the guilt. Other people have real intentions for lust and pursue the hunt and concur as some of us have this in our nature, its called mail testosterone. For women we think it's just plain old horny. In any case those people don't want to be caught in the act, but at the same time it's a rush to be able to get away with it. In my case I occasionally look at other women as discreetly as possible with respect to my wife with my first explanation in mind, but I do have a beautiful wife and two wonderful boys and feel that I don't need to go further than my eyes can see because I have everything I need at home. * It's normal for both men and women to look at the opposite sex even if they are dating or married. It's no different than looking at a fine piece of art or drooling over some movie actor. My husband looks at other women and I look at other men and we often comment to each other how attractive either sex is and it doesn't bother either one of us. If you are confident in yourself then it shouldn't matter. * I am curious why men can't be more sensitive to how it makes a woman feel and make sure that they don't look at someone when their wife is standing right next to them. To me, it seems more deep seeded when a man tries to sneak a look at a woman when his wife is right next to him knowing that they might get caught. Perhaps they do it on purpose to make the wife insecure.

Your boyfriend will call you almost everyday. He will ask to come over and he will take you on alot of dates. And when you ask him about personal things he will give you answers and when he does give you answers he won't babble while he's talking and if he does then he's either hiding something or he's lying to you about it. If he tries to change the subject then he's hiding something that he doesn't want you to know so you just leave alone and ask him later and if he still dosen't want to talk about it then ask again in about two days or so. If you think he's cheating then check his phone whenever he leaves it and everytime he gets ready to leave then ask him where he's going and tell him to keep his phone on and text his friends sometimes when he's on with them to make sure that he's hanging out with them when he says he is. Oh and show him some love maybe sex, because he may seem unloved. Now knowing if he's popping pills shouldn't be a problem. If he yells at you or has major outbursts then he may have some drug addicttion problems,but another way to find out is to see who he hangs out with and what their up to all the time. Don't annoy him!!!

This is just like anything else, either you trust your partner or you don't. Being drunk may cause someone to be more flirtatious but should never be used as an excuse for doing something regretful, such as cheating while in a relationship. If you're even asking whether or not you can trust her then perhaps there are more fundamental issue in your relationship that need to be considered.

Cheaters are all very sneaky and cautious, but, they do make mistakes. Here are some ways you can find out: If possible, check on their Visa card to see if there are any motel/hotel bills that they can't explain. If they travel on business, then phone the motel/hotel and asked who checked in on that date. If possible, check the person's cell phone (especially their phone book on the cell) and check on any messages you may be able to retrieve. If you live together and you are getting phone calls and when you answer the person hangs up. The best way to find out if this person is cheating is to have a friend (in their car and one that your mate won't recognize) and follow them. That's how I caught my first husband. Be careful of calling your mate a cheater and be absolutely sure and here is why: One of my girlfriends came to me several years ago all teary-eyed and upset. She said she thought her husband was cheating. When he said he was working late she had called twice and he wasn't there. Then one of her other friends saw him having a drink with another woman. My girlfriend found a charge on his Visa for a reservation for two the following Saturday in a very ritzy hotel. I told her to stay calm and although things looked a little suspicious to calmly just ask him what the charge on the Visa was all about. Well, the best of it got to her and she fiercely attacked him verbally about the hotel reservation for two, him being with a woman and getting phone calls where someone hung up. She called him every name under the sun. His face was crushed which she assumed meant he had been caught cheating. It turned out, that indeed he was seeing other women, but what she didn't know was she'd forgotten it was her 30th birthday and the hotel reservation was for her, and he was setting up a huge birthday party for her with the help of some of his staff members (one, his secretary.) He had also bought her a $10,000 diamond ring because when they got married he couldn't afford to buy her a diamond engagement ring (thus, not working overtime when he said he would be.) Did she feel foolish? You bet! Of course this is a rare case, but you just never know. Follow him! That's the only way you are going to get the truth. Your mate isn't anymore cautious than most cheaters (including women.) Good luck Marcy

Talk to your girlfriend tell her what you've done and see what your relationship with her is left with some people can work it out after one has cheated and others can't if it doesn't you better at least learn to keep it in your pants after breaking your girlfriends heart don't let her find out any other way you be man enough to tell her what you've done she'll at least have some respect for you that way...