Cheating

To me some older men are simply preditors for younger women. Around the age of 40 and up men go through a type of menopause (use to be called "midlife crisis" and although there are men that don't cheat, some do because they feel they are getting older, missing out on something and want to attract a young woman to feel youthful again. You are a trophy to play secret games with in a crowded room while he admires you secretly knowing you are his and some men will do almost anything to keep it that way. Be careful! You are not a doll up on a dusty shelf that he can haul down, wipe off and play with at his leisure. You are a person with feelings and a future. Remember, there is a wife at home (perhaps with children) that may possibly not know what is going on. How would you like to be that woman? You are a prize possession to this man at the moment. He may honestly think he loves you, but he's in love with youth and the "thrill of the run" landing a young and probably pretty girl. There is absolutely little future running around with a married man. If there was, then he would have no problem getting a divorce as soon as possible. I bet if you ask him when he is going to get a divorce and perhaps marry you, you'll get: "You know I love you with all my heart, but I just can't leave my wife right now .. she's ill" or how about this one, "I'm trying to find the right time to tell her, please be patient" or here's the real clincher, "It's more complicated than you think. Trust me!" (said the spider to the fly!) He wants the comfort of sneaking around on his wife, playing around with a mistress, and deciding when he has had enough and perhaps either returning to his wife or moving on to another mistress. It happens more often than you think. This decision is up to you, but there are always consequences to pay. Perhaps one day he'd look at you and find you aren't attractive enough for him. A pretty face is nothing if you don't have a good soul, keen heart and loyalty. In life, it's what is inside each of us that counts and not the outter part of us. Don't be dazzled by the attentive nature of this man, and always be on your toes. If you were wise you'd pick on a single guy anytime.

you can tell if your boyfriend is cheating if he is not spending time with you. i don't mean when he is not working. if all falls just ask are you cheating, of course you know that he may not tell the truth. there are many sign to a cheating man. some woman don't like to face the facts that he is cheating in your face. if you believe in your heart that something is going on there is. make surprise visit on lunch or at his home.

The main thing that you have to realize when you wonder why your boyfriend is looking at other girls is that it has nothing to do with you. Men look at women period, it's perfectly natural. All men, especially young men have a lot of testosterone pumping through our veins and that makes us instinctively want to seek out mates. Men from the time that we discover that we like women until probably the day we die are always noticing and evaluating pretty much every woman we come across, even if we don't find them particularly attractive.

This has no bearing whatsoever on whether your boyfriend might be happy in your relationship or if he might find the girl across the room more attractive then you. Nor is it an indication that he might be cheating or wanting to cheat. It's like if I had a great car that I loved and would never part with, I would still notice other cars on the road. Some might even have nicer tires or a sexy paint job but I have a special bond with my car and I am not about to just trade it in because a flashy convertible catches my eye.

Now looking at other girls is a problem though if he is being creepy or obvious about it or doing it in front of you. Then it is disrespectful and you should say something. Don't demand that he stop looking at other girls. It's completely unreasonable to expect that he really will, even if analytically he agrees that he shouldn't want to. He might tell you that he will but he will mostly likely be lying to make you happy and he might start seeing you as insecure and resent you for trying to control him. What you can do though is ask him to not check out other girls in front of you. Doing so front of you is disrespectful and he should at the very least be able to not do it while he is with you. If you are young this might be difficult because during their teens men have a lot more testosterone in them.

Just be cool about it and remind him nicely if you catch him slipping. There is nothing more attractive to a guy then a girl who is laid back and secure.

The first evidence that you can look for is when she starts buying more new clothing than she used to. If you are already spending months or years together as boyfriend-girlfriend, you must have been familiar with how your girlfriend dresses and how she purchases clothing for herself. Although there are girls who become suddenly interested with clothes, this will still become a big puzzle to you especially if you are used to seeing your girl wearing simple clothes and buying only new items when there are important occasions to attend.

If you notice this sudden need to buy new items of clothing, be more watchful because the reason behind could be to create a new look and feel more attractive to the man she is seeing behind your back. Give more special attention on whether she buys new underwear or lingerie because these are big clues on how to tell if your girlfriend is cheating.

Other evidences are receipts and unexplained extra mileage on the car. These two can provide you with loads of information and help you on how to tell if your girlfriend is cheating. When your girlfriend cheats, her buying habits change as well as the frequency of usage of the car. Although these changes can happen even to those girlfriends who are not cheating but merely finding ways to have more fun, these are still strong evidences to consider.

Check the receipts of her purchases and take note of the mileage on the car at the start and end of the day. Do the receipts show purchases of new underwear, men's items like cologne and shirt but you never remember them being given to you or to anyone you know, and large amount of credit for her cell phone? Do you see a big difference between the distance she said she traveled and what the counter on the car says in reality? The answer to these questions will sure be of big help on how to tell if your girlfriend is cheating.

And lastly, evidences like her cell phone and phone bills will also help you determine if your girlfriend is indeed cheating. Do you find strange numbers on her cell phone and phone bills? Is there someone calling her more often and does she try to get distant from you when somebody calls? If you answer yes to these, then consider them as indicators that something is really going on. But do not confront her at once; you must dig deeper by looking at other ways on how to tell if your girlfriend is cheating. You can look at the address book to check the strange number or you can try calling it and listen to the voice at the other line.

okay, first of all, you are not cheating...he is the one who is cheating. However, it would be great if u left him because he might be cheating on you too...

Men are very visual, they love beauty and especially beautiful women. Even though you may be the love of his life what is wrong with appreciating beauty. Very few women look the same and myself find it iteresting how every women is different. ITS JUST PEOPLE WATCHING. Look at other boys all the time ;)

I think that if that happens you should soooo totally tell her up front that u found out so n so n make sure before u tell her u are shure she is cheating on u....n if she is then tell her u dunt like her anymoree and tht u don't want her to move down there n if she does u wouldn't caree or sumthing like that n try n get over herr but most imp. MAKE SHURE SHES CHEATING ON YOU BEFORE YOU TELL HER ANYTHING!

* From a man's point of view. It's human nature to wander and to be curious for what ever turns their crank. Everyone is different and we wander in what ways they may be so, apart from the physical characteristics that may be obvious. When most partners notice this is being done by their lovers they also want to know what do they look at and what do they have that causes them to look? Well now this is where the lying begins. Most women say that they don't mind because it's their way of getting the truth about what it is that they are looking at (what does she have that I don't) and if the other person they are looking at has something that you don't have this usually causes the 'I'm not good enough' feelings or some kind of argument about comparison between two people thus, lowering ones self esteem. To avoid such confrontations men and women lie to save the guilt. Other people have real intentions for lust and pursue the hunt and concur as some of us have this in our nature, its called mail testosterone. For women we think it's just plain old horny. In any case those people don't want to be caught in the act, but at the same time it's a rush to be able to get away with it. In my case I occasionally look at other women as discreetly as possible with respect to my wife with my first explanation in mind, but I do have a beautiful wife and two wonderful boys and feel that I don't need to go further than my eyes can see because I have everything I need at home. * It's normal for both men and women to look at the opposite sex even if they are dating or married. It's no different than looking at a fine piece of art or drooling over some movie actor. My husband looks at other women and I look at other men and we often comment to each other how attractive either sex is and it doesn't bother either one of us. If you are confident in yourself then it shouldn't matter. * I am curious why men can't be more sensitive to how it makes a woman feel and make sure that they don't look at someone when their wife is standing right next to them. To me, it seems more deep seeded when a man tries to sneak a look at a woman when his wife is right next to him knowing that they might get caught. Perhaps they do it on purpose to make the wife insecure.

Your boyfriend will call you almost everyday. He will ask to come over and he will take you on alot of dates. And when you ask him about personal things he will give you answers and when he does give you answers he won't babble while he's talking and if he does then he's either hiding something or he's lying to you about it. If he tries to change the subject then he's hiding something that he doesn't want you to know so you just leave alone and ask him later and if he still dosen't want to talk about it then ask again in about two days or so. If you think he's cheating then check his phone whenever he leaves it and everytime he gets ready to leave then ask him where he's going and tell him to keep his phone on and text his friends sometimes when he's on with them to make sure that he's hanging out with them when he says he is. Oh and show him some love maybe sex, because he may seem unloved. Now knowing if he's popping pills shouldn't be a problem. If he yells at you or has major outbursts then he may have some drug addicttion problems,but another way to find out is to see who he hangs out with and what their up to all the time. Don't annoy him!!!

This is just like anything else, either you trust your partner or you don't. Being drunk may cause someone to be more flirtatious but should never be used as an excuse for doing something regretful, such as cheating while in a relationship. If you're even asking whether or not you can trust her then perhaps there are more fundamental issue in your relationship that need to be considered.

Cheaters are all very sneaky and cautious, but, they do make mistakes. Here are some ways you can find out: If possible, check on their Visa card to see if there are any motel/hotel bills that they can't explain. If they travel on business, then phone the motel/hotel and asked who checked in on that date. If possible, check the person's cell phone (especially their phone book on the cell) and check on any messages you may be able to retrieve. If you live together and you are getting phone calls and when you answer the person hangs up. The best way to find out if this person is cheating is to have a friend (in their car and one that your mate won't recognize) and follow them. That's how I caught my first husband. Be careful of calling your mate a cheater and be absolutely sure and here is why: One of my girlfriends came to me several years ago all teary-eyed and upset. She said she thought her husband was cheating. When he said he was working late she had called twice and he wasn't there. Then one of her other friends saw him having a drink with another woman. My girlfriend found a charge on his Visa for a reservation for two the following Saturday in a very ritzy hotel. I told her to stay calm and although things looked a little suspicious to calmly just ask him what the charge on the Visa was all about. Well, the best of it got to her and she fiercely attacked him verbally about the hotel reservation for two, him being with a woman and getting phone calls where someone hung up. She called him every name under the sun. His face was crushed which she assumed meant he had been caught cheating. It turned out, that indeed he was seeing other women, but what she didn't know was she'd forgotten it was her 30th birthday and the hotel reservation was for her, and he was setting up a huge birthday party for her with the help of some of his staff members (one, his secretary.) He had also bought her a $10,000 diamond ring because when they got married he couldn't afford to buy her a diamond engagement ring (thus, not working overtime when he said he would be.) Did she feel foolish? You bet! Of course this is a rare case, but you just never know. Follow him! That's the only way you are going to get the truth. Your mate isn't anymore cautious than most cheaters (including women.) Good luck Marcy

Talk to your girlfriend tell her what you've done and see what your relationship with her is left with some people can work it out after one has cheated and others can't if it doesn't you better at least learn to keep it in your pants after breaking your girlfriends heart don't let her find out any other way you be man enough to tell her what you've done she'll at least have some respect for you that way...

This man's wife will eventually catch on to his infidelity. If you really do not know this woman then I would let it be her problem, especially if you did not know he was married at first. Her husband had an obligation to her not to violate their marriage, not you. Not to mention his wife will probably blame you and your former lover will hate you for ruining his marriage (even though he was the one who ruined it). Although I'm sure his wife would like to know, you would get nothing but more problems by telling her. In my opinion, you were in the wrong for having a relationship with someone you knew was married. Don't compound your wrong by ruining this other woman's life even further just to satisfy your sense of vengeance. ---- Do not be selfish. She is not your business. She wil probably find out sooner or later without you. If you tell her........You will feel guilty for screwing up her life, and you can not live with that. If you could you would not have posted this question. This question is a test of your own conscience. You have one. Why tax it more that you already have. Let fate work its own magic.

If you know he's cheating....why do you need him to admit it ;kick his but out and get you someone who will do you right Buy some panties that r not your size plant them and ask him where they came from if he can answer he is lying.

Some people love another with every fiber of their being, so just because the person they love cheats on them or doesn't treat them well, that loves doesn't vanish immediately. No matter how much you love ANYONE in your life, if they hurt you repeatedly and don't respect your feelings then it's time to let them know this and if things don't change then it's time to move on because you deserve better. Good luck hon Marcy

This is only my opinion, but if my husband hasn't cheated before and has admitted to cheating without any help from me, then yes, I'd give him a break, but it would take me a long time to trust him again, but I'd try to work through it with him. There can be all sorts of stresses in a marriage and here are some reasons some people cheat: Money problems; Lack of communication in the relationship; All attention is on the children and little left for the husband (or wife); A job that takes you out of town a lot; Andropause in men and menopause in women (some need to prove to themselves; that they are not losing their looks and that the opposite sex is still interested in them) and loneliness. When any of us took our marriage vows no one promised us a rose garden. There will certainly be some problems in a marriage whether it is cheating, arguing too much or illness. It's always best to try to work on the problem the best you can and if the person isn't trying or doesn't want to try and strays away again then it's time to kick his butt to the curb. In this modern age it seems that the excuses people give for divorcing is ridiculous and immature and some of the reasons are merely excuses so the person can free themselves of a responsibility. Yes, when someone you love cheats on you it hurts, but, if it's a first-time offence it's best to try and save the marriage by going to marriage counseling or trying to deal with it yourselves. In order to do this both of you have to take the blame for the way your relationship has deteriorated so you sit down, talk it out and see if you can repair the damage. If you can't then move on. I know someone is going to come up behind me and say "once a cheater, always a cheater" but in some cases that's not true. Some people stray because they are lonely, and others do it because they want to grab their youth back. Good luck Marcy

First of all, '''if you have kids, you should stop seeing the other man at least until the kids have moved out!!''' Ask yourself what it is that makes you want to be with the other man. What does he do that your husband doesn't? Is there something wrong with the relationship between you and your husband? Most likely, yes. You should try to solve this problem first. Try to fix your relationship with you're husband, so that you no longer feel the need to find someone else who can make you happy. That will be very hard to do if you are still seeing the other man, so you and him will ''at least'' need to "take a break." The most important thing with fixing your relationship with your husband is to be completely open and honest with him. You and him need to be able to communicate well. If at first he seems to resist this, '''don't give up'''; keep trying. Tell him that you want to change things and make things better. It may take a while for things to change, but they will eventually. Your goal is to get your relationship with your husband to be just as good as your relationship with the other man was. This will probably require some changes for both of you. Help him though it. If you absolutely can not fix your relationship with your husband, then you have two options. Either stay with him anyway, and settle for a less-than-perfect relationship, or get a divorce (thats not an option if you have kids living at home!). Don't continue your affair. It will cause more problems that it is worth; there is no point being with a guy who you don't really care about, especially if your mind is always on another guy. As a final note, if your husband is physically abusive in any way, then '''don't stay with him''', '''especially''' if you have kids living at home because he could be abusing to them too! Other than that, don't leave him if you have kids living at home! -DJ Craig In my opinion,YES,it's definitely wrong!Why?Because if you and this person really LOVED eachother,you would have been together.If you do not get along with your partner than get a divorce, even if there is children. It's better for kids to be in a happy environment than in a family where there is no happiness or peace at home.I think this is the ultimate disrespect to your partner!AND YOURSELF!It's obvious that this question is speaking for your morals.You are asking if it's right?Deep down you know it's not. I think it's time for you to start being honest-starting with yourself.

follow him. smell his dick when he gets home

I think people know in their hearts when something is wrong. Are you connecting with him as you first did in your marriage?

They may not be as intimate, they may txt on their phone more, they may leave the room to make a call.

If you want to be sneaky about it you can check the phone and try to follow him. However, if you cant communicate your feelings of neglect, isn't that a huge issue?

Cheating is a symptom of a bigger problem. Communicate!

Honesty is always the best policy. Come clean to your girlfriend.

One of the greatest ways to tell if your boyfriend is cheating is to just come straight out and confront him of what you suspect of him. If he gets angry when you confront him, its a big possibility that he is, but if he's calm.....it could just be you. Here's what I say though.....if you have to wonder about a guy, he's not the one for you. Just keep looking, you'll find him. I don't necessarily agree that wondering about a guy means he's not the one for you. I think people can bring alot of baggage into a relationship. Maybe she was cheated on in the past, and therefore fears it happening again. However, if you're wondering because you have evidence pointing in that direction, than, yes, maybe he's not the one for you. Anyway, there are many different signs a person is cheating on you. There are the obvious: being secretive, not around as much, change in behavior. == Then there are the not so obvious, like I experienced. A previous boyfriend cheated on me. It became obvious to me when, after a late night out drinking with the guys, he suddenly became very over the top sweet. He was showering me with compliments, telling me how wonderful and beautiful he thought I was. Not that this was totally out of the ordinary, but the way he looked at me and the amount of times he was saying these things became kind of suspicious. Of course I asked him and he confessed. He said he made a huge mistake, and through it, he realized how great I really was. So, basically there are many different signals aside from the obvious ones! == First, Ask them. If you don't trust them then there's a red flag already. If you have suspision, then you must also have a reason, or number or reasons for suspision. Often times, your gut feeling is correct. If you're not certain, start keeping a journal of the partner's behavioral patterns and write down changes in his/her behavior/life style patterns. If there is a significant difference over time without a reasonable explaination, then they have something to hide. Protect your interests; you need to watch out for yourself. Mutual friends start acting strangely toward you. Spouse's co-workers are uncomfortable in your presence. Stops confiding in you and seeking advice from you. Buys a cell phone and doesn't let you know. Begins to delete all incoming phone calls from the caller ID. You get calls where the caller hangs up when you answer. Becomes "accusatory," asking if you are being true to him, usually out of guilt. Stops wearing his wedding ring but always has an excuse as to why. He suddenly stops having sex with you. Supposedly works a lot of overtime, but it never shows up on the pay stub. Is away from home, either nights or on trips, more than previously. Picks fights in order to leave the house. Seems less comfortable around you and is "touchy" and easily moved to anger. The amount of money being deposited into your checking account drops off. Personality/behavorial changes. Your intuition (gut feeling) tells you that something is not right.The telltale signs of a cheater? Having to ask that question in the first place. == The fact that you found stains doesn't really mean he is cheating, maybe he went to a strip club and one of the girls there really did it for him. If you don't believe this to be the case then there is a very good chance that indeed he did cheat on you as he wouldn't have those stains otherwise. Ask him If you're asking, I'd say you already have some suspicions. Has his time spent with you dropped off? Is he receiving mysterious phone calls or taking his phone calls in private, when he used to chat on the phone in front of you? Does he give hasty, general excuses about going off to see a friend or go in to work, when he used to discuss what he did when you weren't around in more detail? Does he seem to screw up details or seemingly forget where he was at certain times when you ask him how he's been? Being evasive, secretive. Lying to you or making excuses about everything, about where he is going to where he has been. I;m not saying stalk him but be cautious there couldbe a good reason. But if he is being secretive and avoids you and his behaviour is funny than dump him because if he cheats you once he'll do it again.

My suggestion is to be up-front with her and just ask her what youwnat to know. If her behavior makees you think sheis cheating, then she may be WANTING to get caught and just waiting for someone to ask.

If she is gone all of the time, also if you call her and she cant talk... There are many signs to notice. you catch them. But seeming you are not married or engaged their is no real such thing as cheating because unless you are in a committed relations there is no boundries. Also have you tried talking to her maybe she will be honest with you Okay first of all, cheating is cheating. Even if you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend and you guys are commited to anything and you go off and do something with some else, its cheating. There are so boundries to all relationships no matter if you commited to anything.

== == * Spread a very fine layer of flour around all doors where he would have to step on it , look to see if has been stepped on during the night == == * Pretend you're asleep, but really be awake. Prepare by taking a long nap during the day and drinking lots of caffeine. or use those little hidden cameras. Flour won't work, he'll just make an excuse. You need good evidence, either through your own eyes, or on video. You could also have a friend hide outside with a video camera and have him/her tape him sneaking out.. == == * Buy a small alarm clock and keep it hidden under your pillow, or another nearby easy to hide spot. == == * Hide a video camera in the bedroom pointing across the room where you can catch him getting up, shutting off the alarm clock and leaving the bedroom! * The best thing to do is communicate with himduring the day! Tell him you've been awake and have caught him. How about after he's asleep you turn off the alarm clock! * It totally depends why he is "sneaking" out of the house in the first place. If he is cheating I wouldn't worry about catching him he's the one that would have to worry about where he would be living; no sneaking back in this house when you been playing house somewhere else. If he is sneaking out due to some addiction problems such as gambling, drinking, drugs, etc. or that maybe he's not "allowed" to go out when you are awake then you both need to sit down and as the above said communicate - have a nice long talk and try and work things out. There is obvious deception going on and issues that need to be worked out between you and maybe talking and some extra-marital help will work if you both think it is worth working on to save. If not you will have to part ways. == == * Steal his car keys or strap him to the bed or tie a string around his finger and attach it to yours so when the gets out of bed he'll wake you up.

Sometimes it's hard to tell, but it boils down to one thing ... how your girlfriend or boyfriend handles it if someone is trying to steal them from you. If you are honest, loyal, then NO ONE can steal you away from your girlfriend/boyfriend/wife or husband! Some signs are the opposite sex flirting with your partner and your partner lapping it up and flirting back. If your partner doesn't keep dates, doesn't answer the phone and has one too many excuses as to why they haven't called or emailed you at least. Sometimes it's better to look and listen than talk, so if you are suspicious keep your eyes wide open and your ears. If you think your partner is pushing the line, then tell them so and let them know in no uncertain terms you aren't putting up with it. YOU are in control!