Cheating

This man's wife will eventually catch on to his infidelity. If you really do not know this woman then I would let it be her problem, especially if you did not know he was married at first. Her husband had an obligation to her not to violate their marriage, not you. Not to mention his wife will probably blame you and your former lover will hate you for ruining his marriage (even though he was the one who ruined it). Although I'm sure his wife would like to know, you would get nothing but more problems by telling her. In my opinion, you were in the wrong for having a relationship with someone you knew was married. Don't compound your wrong by ruining this other woman's life even further just to satisfy your sense of vengeance. ---- Do not be selfish. She is not your business. She wil probably find out sooner or later without you. If you tell her........You will feel guilty for screwing up her life, and you can not live with that. If you could you would not have posted this question. This question is a test of your own conscience. You have one. Why tax it more that you already have. Let fate work its own magic.

If you know he's cheating....why do you need him to admit it ;kick his but out and get you someone who will do you right Buy some panties that r not your size plant them and ask him where they came from if he can answer he is lying.

Some people love another with every fiber of their being, so just because the person they love cheats on them or doesn't treat them well, that loves doesn't vanish immediately. No matter how much you love ANYONE in your life, if they hurt you repeatedly and don't respect your feelings then it's time to let them know this and if things don't change then it's time to move on because you deserve better. Good luck hon Marcy

This is only my opinion, but if my husband hasn't cheated before and has admitted to cheating without any help from me, then yes, I'd give him a break, but it would take me a long time to trust him again, but I'd try to work through it with him. There can be all sorts of stresses in a marriage and here are some reasons some people cheat: Money problems; Lack of communication in the relationship; All attention is on the children and little left for the husband (or wife); A job that takes you out of town a lot; Andropause in men and menopause in women (some need to prove to themselves; that they are not losing their looks and that the opposite sex is still interested in them) and loneliness. When any of us took our marriage vows no one promised us a rose garden. There will certainly be some problems in a marriage whether it is cheating, arguing too much or illness. It's always best to try to work on the problem the best you can and if the person isn't trying or doesn't want to try and strays away again then it's time to kick his butt to the curb. In this modern age it seems that the excuses people give for divorcing is ridiculous and immature and some of the reasons are merely excuses so the person can free themselves of a responsibility. Yes, when someone you love cheats on you it hurts, but, if it's a first-time offence it's best to try and save the marriage by going to marriage counseling or trying to deal with it yourselves. In order to do this both of you have to take the blame for the way your relationship has deteriorated so you sit down, talk it out and see if you can repair the damage. If you can't then move on. I know someone is going to come up behind me and say "once a cheater, always a cheater" but in some cases that's not true. Some people stray because they are lonely, and others do it because they want to grab their youth back. Good luck Marcy

First of all, '''if you have kids, you should stop seeing the other man at least until the kids have moved out!!''' Ask yourself what it is that makes you want to be with the other man. What does he do that your husband doesn't? Is there something wrong with the relationship between you and your husband? Most likely, yes. You should try to solve this problem first. Try to fix your relationship with you're husband, so that you no longer feel the need to find someone else who can make you happy. That will be very hard to do if you are still seeing the other man, so you and him will ''at least'' need to "take a break." The most important thing with fixing your relationship with your husband is to be completely open and honest with him. You and him need to be able to communicate well. If at first he seems to resist this, '''don't give up'''; keep trying. Tell him that you want to change things and make things better. It may take a while for things to change, but they will eventually. Your goal is to get your relationship with your husband to be just as good as your relationship with the other man was. This will probably require some changes for both of you. Help him though it. If you absolutely can not fix your relationship with your husband, then you have two options. Either stay with him anyway, and settle for a less-than-perfect relationship, or get a divorce (thats not an option if you have kids living at home!). Don't continue your affair. It will cause more problems that it is worth; there is no point being with a guy who you don't really care about, especially if your mind is always on another guy. As a final note, if your husband is physically abusive in any way, then '''don't stay with him''', '''especially''' if you have kids living at home because he could be abusing to them too! Other than that, don't leave him if you have kids living at home! -DJ Craig In my opinion,YES,it's definitely wrong!Why?Because if you and this person really LOVED eachother,you would have been together.If you do not get along with your partner than get a divorce, even if there is children. It's better for kids to be in a happy environment than in a family where there is no happiness or peace at home.I think this is the ultimate disrespect to your partner!AND YOURSELF!It's obvious that this question is speaking for your morals.You are asking if it's right?Deep down you know it's not. I think it's time for you to start being honest-starting with yourself.

follow him. smell his dick when he gets home

I think people know in their hearts when something is wrong. Are you connecting with him as you first did in your marriage?

They may not be as intimate, they may txt on their phone more, they may leave the room to make a call.

If you want to be sneaky about it you can check the phone and try to follow him. However, if you cant communicate your feelings of neglect, isn't that a huge issue?

Cheating is a symptom of a bigger problem. Communicate!

Honesty is always the best policy. Come clean to your girlfriend.

One of the greatest ways to tell if your boyfriend is cheating is to just come straight out and confront him of what you suspect of him. If he gets angry when you confront him, its a big possibility that he is, but if he's calm.....it could just be you. Here's what I say though.....if you have to wonder about a guy, he's not the one for you. Just keep looking, you'll find him. I don't necessarily agree that wondering about a guy means he's not the one for you. I think people can bring alot of baggage into a relationship. Maybe she was cheated on in the past, and therefore fears it happening again. However, if you're wondering because you have evidence pointing in that direction, than, yes, maybe he's not the one for you. Anyway, there are many different signs a person is cheating on you. There are the obvious: being secretive, not around as much, change in behavior. == Then there are the not so obvious, like I experienced. A previous boyfriend cheated on me. It became obvious to me when, after a late night out drinking with the guys, he suddenly became very over the top sweet. He was showering me with compliments, telling me how wonderful and beautiful he thought I was. Not that this was totally out of the ordinary, but the way he looked at me and the amount of times he was saying these things became kind of suspicious. Of course I asked him and he confessed. He said he made a huge mistake, and through it, he realized how great I really was. So, basically there are many different signals aside from the obvious ones! == First, Ask them. If you don't trust them then there's a red flag already. If you have suspision, then you must also have a reason, or number or reasons for suspision. Often times, your gut feeling is correct. If you're not certain, start keeping a journal of the partner's behavioral patterns and write down changes in his/her behavior/life style patterns. If there is a significant difference over time without a reasonable explaination, then they have something to hide. Protect your interests; you need to watch out for yourself. Mutual friends start acting strangely toward you. Spouse's co-workers are uncomfortable in your presence. Stops confiding in you and seeking advice from you. Buys a cell phone and doesn't let you know. Begins to delete all incoming phone calls from the caller ID. You get calls where the caller hangs up when you answer. Becomes "accusatory," asking if you are being true to him, usually out of guilt. Stops wearing his wedding ring but always has an excuse as to why. He suddenly stops having sex with you. Supposedly works a lot of overtime, but it never shows up on the pay stub. Is away from home, either nights or on trips, more than previously. Picks fights in order to leave the house. Seems less comfortable around you and is "touchy" and easily moved to anger. The amount of money being deposited into your checking account drops off. Personality/behavorial changes. Your intuition (gut feeling) tells you that something is not right.The telltale signs of a cheater? Having to ask that question in the first place. == The fact that you found stains doesn't really mean he is cheating, maybe he went to a strip club and one of the girls there really did it for him. If you don't believe this to be the case then there is a very good chance that indeed he did cheat on you as he wouldn't have those stains otherwise. Ask him If you're asking, I'd say you already have some suspicions. Has his time spent with you dropped off? Is he receiving mysterious phone calls or taking his phone calls in private, when he used to chat on the phone in front of you? Does he give hasty, general excuses about going off to see a friend or go in to work, when he used to discuss what he did when you weren't around in more detail? Does he seem to screw up details or seemingly forget where he was at certain times when you ask him how he's been? Being evasive, secretive. Lying to you or making excuses about everything, about where he is going to where he has been. I;m not saying stalk him but be cautious there couldbe a good reason. But if he is being secretive and avoids you and his behaviour is funny than dump him because if he cheats you once he'll do it again.

My suggestion is to be up-front with her and just ask her what youwnat to know. If her behavior makees you think sheis cheating, then she may be WANTING to get caught and just waiting for someone to ask.

If she is gone all of the time, also if you call her and she cant talk... There are many signs to notice. you catch them. But seeming you are not married or engaged their is no real such thing as cheating because unless you are in a committed relations there is no boundries. Also have you tried talking to her maybe she will be honest with you Okay first of all, cheating is cheating. Even if you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend and you guys are commited to anything and you go off and do something with some else, its cheating. There are so boundries to all relationships no matter if you commited to anything.

== == * Spread a very fine layer of flour around all doors where he would have to step on it , look to see if has been stepped on during the night == == * Pretend you're asleep, but really be awake. Prepare by taking a long nap during the day and drinking lots of caffeine. or use those little hidden cameras. Flour won't work, he'll just make an excuse. You need good evidence, either through your own eyes, or on video. You could also have a friend hide outside with a video camera and have him/her tape him sneaking out.. == == * Buy a small alarm clock and keep it hidden under your pillow, or another nearby easy to hide spot. == == * Hide a video camera in the bedroom pointing across the room where you can catch him getting up, shutting off the alarm clock and leaving the bedroom! * The best thing to do is communicate with himduring the day! Tell him you've been awake and have caught him. How about after he's asleep you turn off the alarm clock! * It totally depends why he is "sneaking" out of the house in the first place. If he is cheating I wouldn't worry about catching him he's the one that would have to worry about where he would be living; no sneaking back in this house when you been playing house somewhere else. If he is sneaking out due to some addiction problems such as gambling, drinking, drugs, etc. or that maybe he's not "allowed" to go out when you are awake then you both need to sit down and as the above said communicate - have a nice long talk and try and work things out. There is obvious deception going on and issues that need to be worked out between you and maybe talking and some extra-marital help will work if you both think it is worth working on to save. If not you will have to part ways. == == * Steal his car keys or strap him to the bed or tie a string around his finger and attach it to yours so when the gets out of bed he'll wake you up.

Sometimes it's hard to tell, but it boils down to one thing ... how your girlfriend or boyfriend handles it if someone is trying to steal them from you. If you are honest, loyal, then NO ONE can steal you away from your girlfriend/boyfriend/wife or husband! Some signs are the opposite sex flirting with your partner and your partner lapping it up and flirting back. If your partner doesn't keep dates, doesn't answer the phone and has one too many excuses as to why they haven't called or emailed you at least. Sometimes it's better to look and listen than talk, so if you are suspicious keep your eyes wide open and your ears. If you think your partner is pushing the line, then tell them so and let them know in no uncertain terms you aren't putting up with it. YOU are in control!

• The other woman should never believe what a married man says because he would not be cheating on his wife if he didn't have problems with communication skills with his wife or wasn't so self centered and devious to cheat on her. The 'other woman' is generally looked on at first as being exciting for the married man because she does not know him as well as his wife does so he can pretty much get away with lying if he so chooses, but he also knows it's about a free sexual relationship with no ties and more often than not men for one reason or another will go back to their wives and toss the other woman away like so much garbage. The percentage of a married man getting a divorce to marry the other woman is extremely low.

I'd be more concerned with confronting my spouse then the person they're cheating with. That's the only relationship that should be on concern. Do what I did with my first husband when his mistress phoned me and wanted to talk "woman-to-woman" I told her I'd tie a big red bow on his butt and send him over and she could put up with his antics! I left!

Well the institution of marriage is supposed to be giving 100% you love, consideration and devotion to one another. It does not sound as though this is what you have. Alot of people that are married have other arrangements that work for them. If you are not happy, why waste the little time on this godly earth you have and be in marriage that is unfulfilling as yours. Be honest with yourself and your husband and make a decision to either improve or remove. good luck

you answered your own question

"Cheating" means to "keep a secret" and my question back is "why do men lie when they're caught cheating?" Both parties are to blame. There are no excuses for cheating although many people will rationalize that there reasons are a totally different case than anyone elses. We all have a tongue in our heads and if we are unhappy in our relationship then we should have the guts to break up with the person we are with and then there is no need to cheat. There are cheaters that want to have their cake and eat it too and some that are afraid if their relationship with the other person doesn't work out they can continue on with the relationship they are already in. Cheating is selfish and it shows a person has no backbone.

B:

Just like when the husband lie when he got caught cheating.

To me, cheating on a spouse is never justified, but her 2.5 year affair justifies a divorce if that is what you want. If you want to stay in the relationship, you'll have to forgive your wife for having the affair if you haven't already and communicate with her to find the reasons she has no interest in sex and be honest with her about your sexual needs. More than that, though, you need to talk about other needs and expectations. If there are sexual problems, the chances are great that there are other problems underlying the sexual ones. Two wrongs dont make a right. You put up with her cheating for 2.5 years and that was your mistake. It sounds like there is no love in this relationship, just end it and stop playing games with one another. Move on with your lives the way you want to live, now.....Life is too short. What did she do for 2.5 years that now she has no interest in? Im confused.........

To SOME men this could be a dream come true, but for most men it's a turn-off. Cheating with a woman is the same as cheating with a man and don't let your wife tell you any different. Whether you (not accusing you here) or your wife think it's a turn-on to have an extra female in your marriage, I suggest you re-read your marriage vows! It sounds like you aren't too thrilled about this. Your wife needs counseling to decide who she is and why she has decided she needed a relationship with a woman. She is going to have to make some hard choices here and be true to herself. If she decides she prefers women to men then this could have been an under-lying problem long before you met her. I don't buy bisexual and feel it's simply experimentation and a choice by an individual.

You simply ask him about it. Truth accompanied with humility is what keeps love between two people strong. And if he told you one thing yet you know without a doubt he is lying, take his word on it and check your sources. Sometimes the most "credible" tips come from the most incredible people.

If he calls you or tells you..Asking if he misses you but being sneeky with your words will tell you the best talk w/ me if you have anymore questions.

secretely. :)

Not all girls are dumb and not all go after the rotten type of guys. SOME younger girls may feel the moody and arrogant type of guy (lone wolf type) is one to be tamed and she thinks she's the one that can do it. It's all rather dense in a way because the mystery of that certain guy is what attracted her in the first place so why change him? I agree, it's stupid, but youth can do stupid things. Eventually these girls get the picture and pick nicer guys with more going for them.

well i agree with the girls wanting to tame a guy but i don't nessicarly believe a girl is stupid for trying to tame him.yes its a stupid idea but with the best intentions the girl wants to make him happy and help him but shes jus gonna get sunk with his ship shell get hurt they always do and in the end the guy wont stop cheating no matter what he has to change and no girl is gonna change him end of story