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Breakups

~19300 answered questions
Parent Category: Relationships
It takes two to make it work, but only one to break it up. This is the place to ask questions about the pain, healing, and possible solutions to relationship break-ups.
1st things 1st...As soon as the baby is born do a DNA test. Well, how dedicated are you to this girl? do you forsee spending your life with her? If so, be accepting, and take the child in as your own. If not, try to help your GF, but don't worry about the baby if you will have no part in it's future…
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File a motion to amend your custody agreement. State that neither parent can move more than __ miles from the other parent and if they do, they have to provide ALL transportation of the minor children to and from visitation.
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dear friend, You have the answer to your question. FIrst do a self analysis 1) How long have you known this boy friend? 2) How old are you and how old is he ? 3) IS it a strong relationship or a just a physical attraction. IF your relationship is pretty strong then and you both understand each oth…
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Did the person leave because they're a narcissist, have love for the other person, or both? If the individual has left you for someone else, why would you want the person back? Move on! The right person for you may just be right around the corner. Answer2: A narcissist has more love for themselve…
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Not sure exactly what you mean about 'agreed to time" ect. BUT breaking into anything to repo is a NO-NO. Call a local attorney for state specific advise.
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You would go find something else to do and stay away from this subject. If you give folks enough rope they will hand themselves.   Man......are you for real?Jealousy gets you nowhere. As you stated....EX-WIFE!!!!! Get a clue and leave them alone. Revenge is NOT a good thing. Move on and get a…
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There's nothing you can do. She was his wife once. You can't erase that. No matter how much he loves you, he will not not stop loving her, either. I know this isn't what you want to hear and I'm sorry. Marriage is serious business. He loved her enough to marry her and he once loved her as much as he…
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You tell us..do u still love him? i however don't think so..if u did u would have controlled yourself and acted like an adult. By cheating on him you proved that you have zero respect for him and that your either still in love with your ex (if that) or u want to have 2 much fun to be married to one …
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First, I believe that your definition of love is confused. A person who really loves another person does not hurt them. The men that are cheating probably do not know how to love anyone but themselves. I would venture to say that they lust instead of love.As far as hurting you ,they are also hurting…
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Technically no, but it's similar to a murderer getting off on a technicality. If you're in love with someone, and you sleep with someone else, you're really cheating on yourself. If you think it's not a big deal, and technically it's not cheating, than you're a shallow person and don't know what lo…
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Which woman REALLY makes you feel better about everything. Which woman will see you through anything, the good, the bad, and the ugly? Which woman makes you feel like you are the only man in the world when she's with you, it's about you and not her? Who makes you feel good about being you? Good Luck…
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Pretty much every state allows people under 18 to get married with parental consent. But if you don't have parental consent, then there is no state where you can get married without court approval/special circumstances.
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You are not safe with a narcissist, so you need to make sure it is over. The longer you stay, the more likely your children will show the same behavior in their relationships. Going from verbal to physical abuse can be a close thing. You need a team to support you as you make the move; the most dang…
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Fortunately, he does not have to agree nor consent to the divorce. You can file for divorce on your own. However, planning for the eventuality that he will not be happy would be wise. You should make certain you hire a good lawyer who specializes in family law in your area. You should brief him on y…
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As long as you confine yourself to legal methods, you can't "prevent" anyone from doing anything. You can voice an opinion, give advice, or refer to literature. But that's just about the maximum. There is nothing that a friend can do to prevent someone from going back to the abuser. A good friend …
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The bad news is that is little you can do. You can try to obtain a restraining order, work through the court system, involve the police if he is stalkingm harassing, or battering you - or move as far away as you can afford to. But that's just about it.  All of the above and get an alarm system…
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I would say it is definitely, That is in fact sexual assault and you can take legal action against him. I can understand however that you would be inclined to let him get away with it out of a feeling of loyalty or love., however you should have a word with him and explain his moral as well as his …
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Do you always know exactly where he is, who he is with, and what they are doing? When he isn't at work, is he always with you, doing what you want to do? Do you get upset if another woman shows any interest (not necessarily sexual interest) in him?   People are not objects. You cannot "posses…
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None. Unless you enjoy being abused and beaten, there is no potential. He will attack you sooner or later. He has the potential to kill you. If you read this and think : " Oh, no, he's so sweet and caring, etc etc", you are in for a bad surprise!   No one gets a five year sentence for …
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Almost immediately. Many abusers are narcissists and crave narcissistic supply. Very quickly! Sometimes before he ends his relationship with you. This way, he can toss you aside and his new source of narcissistic supply is ready and waiting.   The "N" in my life had several relationships…
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Verbal abuse wears many forms. Isolating you from your friends is a form of control freakery. If this is an isolated event, you may overlook it, forgive, and forget. But if this is a repetitive behavior - he is an abuser.
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Yes, it is common. Abusers, and especially narcissistic or psychopathic abusers, maintain a few simultaneous relationships and are serial monogamists or polygamists. My ex abusive boyfriend had a new girl within two weeks. He also was seeking new relationships while we were together. Don't be alar…
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Answer That is part of the cycle that needs to be broken by you. You don't believe in yourself and have no self confidence or self esteem. You believe you deserve that kind of treatment...but you do not. Please find family and friends to talk to and get the positive reassurance you need right now…
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Please get out of this relationship as fast as you can. I am in the process of a divorce because, of this. My husband was verbally and mentally abusive to me and everytime we would would argue he would threaten to have his friends take of me or he would do it himself and no one would know about it. …
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Answer LEAVE and don't look back. My abusive ex boyfriend did this to me also and the abuse never went away...it only go worse! Answer I agree. Do not look back when you leave because, I am proof of my previous marriage that got worse. I ended up marrying my abuser and it got really worse. I …
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Answer No commitment is unconditional and unqualified. You are bound to commitments you make only within reason. Answer You have a RIGHT to change your mind whenever you want to. Answer Life is too short. If the person is crazy, abusive etc etc, you can break the commitment. Obviously, th…
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For over a year and 1/2 I told mine that he was killing my feelings for him. It did not affect him AT ALL. In fact, the abuse escalated.   You can "TRY" to tell them but ultimately it doesn't matter to them. He doesn't see you as a person with real emotions or feelings or needs.Just like the …
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Some victims bond with their abusers in what is known as "trauma bonding".   you are crazy. to think he could be a soul mate. a soul mate is a helper. an ex that is an abuser is probably in your life to help you get to the point where you will not need to repeat this cycle. a soul mate might …
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Take it from me and every other girl behind me who has been abuse. the guy that u are dating is a jack*** ounce he hits he will always hit you. In my case he got worse rapped and beat me up while i was pregnant. and did much more. after i had her i felt the same way you are feeling and once again he…
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Answer Nothing. You did all you could and should. Your friend is an adult and has the right to make her own decisions and commit her own mistakes. Answer I would just leave her alone. To keep pushing the issue would only cause your friendship to weaken.
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Answer its not very easy for ppl to let go of abusive relationships whether they r young or old..it needs equal strength n patience to survive an abusive relationsip..however if ur young n not let go of the abuse it is likely to impact on ur confidence n self esteem.... do not try to hold on to t…
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Be there for her steadfastly and compassionately when she needs you. Help her to recognize that she has been abused. Help her to decide never to be abused or to accept being abused again. The best way to help ur friend get over n start a new life after an abusive relationship is to be there for he…
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Abusers and criminals invariably deny that they had acted abusively or criminally.   I would say to see if they can still control you. The reason they deny an criminal activity or abusive activity it is because they believe they did nothing wrong. God Bless   one scenario suggests that…
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Answer The question should be reversed: why does the wife keep coming back when called by her abuser? Answer I agree with Sam's answer. Your spouse's behavior is a form of control, and it is abusive. He maintains his power over you by creating a situation in which you never really know where …
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The dissolution of the abuser's marriage or other meaningful (romantic, business, or other) relationships constitutes a major life crisis and a scathing narcissistic injury. To soothe and salve the pain of disillusionment, he administers to his aching soul a mixture of lies, distortions, half-truths…
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It is normal to miss someone with whom you shared your life. Try to remember the abuse episodes. It helps to counter the nostalgia. Think of when they hit you.   It is possible that you are not "missing" the abusive/narcissistic ex, but rather you are grieving that the euphoric beginni…
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If you wish to end the relationship, explain why you wish to do so. He is entitled to a full explanation. If he continues to call, ask him to respect your wishes. Do it kindly.Answer If he really cared about you, he would respect your wishes and want you to be happy. He is selfish and oonly thinking…
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Empathically not. Narcissists are incapable of loving. Idealization - the unrealistic, fantasic, pathological, and utilitarian adulation of a source of narcissistic supply - has nothing to do with love.
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Because he feels insecure, now that the baby is demanding your full attention and affection and this is his way of reasserting and exerting control over you.   This is very common and usually it's a matter of both of you getting use to a routine. A new baby takes up lots of mama's time. Get y…
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Very typical. It is called the idealization-devaluation cycle. "Is it narcissistic to come on strong tell you how good you are for him ask you not to break his heart then say he only wants to see you twice a month?" No. Its a healthy and welcomed start.
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Since she's your former girlfriend you really don't have any reason to be around her family anymore. Since you aren't involved with her and her family then move on. Whatever you did to make her family distrust you is over and done with. Address your personal behavior now and make a plan to act in a …
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This actually happened to me... I left my wife for another woman, divorced one and married the other. Now the problems started because I was still very much in love with my ex, and the steamy 3 year affair I had with my new wife wasn't as steamy anymore. The sex was still real good (better than wit…
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No, it cannot. It is simply a gentle cop out of a relationship. Life and love are not TV shows or Movies. They're real. It's either there is love between the two people, or not. However, there are different types of love. Yet, in this case, romantic love can't take a break. You can't really "Pause"…
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Rebound Relationships A "rebound relationship" is one in which a person becomes overly quick to commit to a new partner after having experienced an upsetting breakup or divorce. People who have breakups and then immediatley involved themselves with someone else seem to feel the need to prove to them…
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There is really no point other than to say hello. I would inform your husband that you spoke to the ex-boyfriend to show you are not hiding anything.
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You'll know it's over when the "sketchy play" is over. When your ex starts to want nothing to do with you, when he/she's moved on. when you have no interest at all and move onyoure not only saying it but youre doing itand by the way good luck
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It depends on a lot of things such as: the reason you all broke up in the first place, how long you've been broken up, and if either of you all are currently in relationship with someone else. There's a reason for everything, so make sure you consider those questions above before you give your ex a…
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I am very sorry to hear this has happened to you. It appears neither of you had good communication skills in the first place. Everyone has some problems in their marriage and you both should have learned how to communicate feelings towards each other. Sometimes things in our lives no matter how pain…
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Love is the foundation for everything. You can't marry a person if you don't love him although in some countries there are chances that a person is set up for an arrange marriage and eventually these couples develop love but definitely love comes first before marriage. Before you marry, you fall in…
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However you try to put it, its still going to hurt him/her so just come straight and DON'T ever use the lets just be friends line, it will probably not be like that. This happened to me over the summer except the guy never told me, he just ignored me. Don't do that! Tell the girl that your feelings…
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It's all boils down to how you really feel about her. I just recently moved out of state for college, and my boyfriend didn't want me to leave either. But he loves me enough to respect my choice and be happy for me, rather than try to make me second guess myself. If you care for your girlfriend you …
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He doesn't necessarily not want you anymore, but it could be a sign. He might not want to be holding hands all the time, and maybe he just wants you to back off a bit. I suggest, talk to him, and ask him if he still likes you, and why he doesn't want you to hold hands etc any more... Try and not mak…
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If he loves you he wouldn't talk like that. Think about it this way. If he really loves you he wouldn't want to hurt you, but when he says that is. Sometimes, no matter how much couples love each other, a problem or an issue can seem so bad and get the better of us that we think it's absolutely im…
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Go through the steps- 1. Do you want to be with the person? If yes next step. 2.Have them sit down and calmly start your converstation like so: "I've noticed that"... "I just don't get the same feeling"... "It doesn't feel the same when"... NEVER EVER EVER say "we need to talk"... "It's over"... o…
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US Specific :There is only one answer to this question: it is illegal for two minors, or an adult and a minor to have sexual contact.Specific to this question, the boyfriend at thirteen is old enough to be tried as an adult. Many before him have been, many after him will be. It may not be right, it …
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I'm In the same situation sweetie. And as misrable as it can be, all you can really do is just follow your heart. Regardless of what I or anyone else instructs you to do. You know what you need to do. Only you know the in's and out's of your past and present relationship and ony you know what you wa…
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Probably not a good idea unless u want to ruin his life What do expect to come from it? Usually you will be disappointed so I say let it go. He can probably think of a half dozen ways to contact you if he wanted. It sounds like he has not so take that as a sign to just move on. Nothing good will c…
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Because he doesn't want the commitment he just wants a good time. Kind of like a one night stand type thing. also, all his old feelings might come back with he is with you. sometimes it is uncontrollable and things happen. i say, dont sleep with him again. it only makes things worse, trust me. and …
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A person doesn't have to be in love with someone yet I have heard some of their friends accuse some women and men that choose to hang out together or even live together of being gay. A man can simply live with a man and a woman can live with a woman or, brother and sister, etc. Most people never re…
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Perhaps the question should be "Are you alright with the relationship?" If you are happy and things are going well, it is irrelevant what others think. However, if you feel you are at some level being used by the other person, I would suggest that you sit down with them and have a honest talk about …
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Sweetie, if she does not care why should you? Don't keep fighting for someone who will not fight for you in return. Life is too short and there is someone out there that will be just as interested in you as you are in her. Take that advise from someone who knows.Well, I definitely and absolutely agr…
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Wiki s contributors give their advice: First realize that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. If someone is not interested in you it is in your best interest to find someone who does love and adore you for who you are. Know that you are worth it, and there are plenty of people who will love …
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Bad Boy Here is advice: It's called love. You can't do anything about it. It comes and goes as it wishes. Even if you love your ex at the moment your feelings could change completely in a month or two. Give it a while. I'm sure that it'll pass. I have found that some people you don't stop…
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Change the locks and fast!   If it is actually YOUR home and not a home you bought together call the police, he's trespassing.   You'll have to ask him to leave, leave yourself or go to a lawyer and the lawyer can decide who gets the house.   You have him served Or-- you can go …
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Tell her that what you said, was your mind crazy talking (if you were). If she still doesn't forgive you, then just too bad. Remember for all the guys out there, don't break a girls heart, or else your gonna get it.
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Picture the girl or guy of your dreams. They possess everything you desire in a mate. If you want someone with a good job who makes money and is independent, likes the outdoors, is fun to be with, attractive and likeable, or whatever attributes you care for, that is this person. Now picture marryin…
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no, not really. if she wants to go, the best thing to do is let her go. all you need to do is move on and find somebody else, and don't chase after her. find somebody, there is a whole world of girls out there looking for someone to love. Not really. You just have to let her do what is going to …
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You can't really get over a guy who you keep going back to unless you really want to it can be so hard and seem like the most impossible thing that can be done but that is not true if he doesn't want you then he is stupid and doesn't realize how much you are worth because you are beautiful and you …
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Never, Your child is better off with separated but happy parents than with a united, but gloomy and stressed family. you're not getting married for the kids. You're getting married because you want to spend your life with a certain person. If something goes wrong, you can work on your marriage, but…
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I know how you feel. I broke up with my boyfriend 2 years ago and I still cannot get over him. I love him and still want him back. All I can say is if you have found a great love, don't let it go too easily. All I want is my ex back and I know that it will never happen. If you and your partner still…
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Long Distance Commitment It depends on the guy, but if it's long distance, then I wouldn't commit to a relationship. Date other guys, and when you can, date him. Make sure he understands and be completely honest. When you have the opportunity to spend a lot of time together, then you can decide whe…
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UNFORTUNATELY IT MEANS THAT HE IS NOT COMPLETELY OVER HIS EX. HE IS USING YOU & HIS EX. DUMP HIM. HAVE MORE RESPECT FOR YOURSELF, HE DOES NOT HAVE ANY RESPECT FOR EITHER ONE OF YOU GIRLS. MOVE ON. YOU HEARD THE OLD SAYING "THERE ARE ALOT OF FISH IN THE SEA". DONT RUSH INTO ANYTHING. LET THINGS …
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Answer: BRAVADO-boldness intended to impress or intimidate. The fact that he's an attention seeker by any means translates. Answer HE IS IMMATURE, HE IS TRYING TO MAKE YOU JEALOUS, HE WANTS EVERYONE TO KNOW HE IS OVER YOU. HE IS PRETENDING TO BE STUD. THOSE ARE MY TOP 4 ANSWERS. DO NOT STOOP TO HI…
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No one can really say completely with words what love feels like, but you will know. If you're truly in love you will just know it. The best way I can describe it is: You can stand being away from the person, but miss them with all your heart. When you hear their voice, it puts the biggest smile on …
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Diane says: Guys are some what as*holes. it's their nature. try accepting the fact just like what I'm doing now :D Honestly, I think that if you love him you would let go and let him be happy. I totally understand that your crushed. But your hurting yourself more by holding on to something that yo…
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Just be a supportive friend to that person bt try to not fal again to him/her
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%DETAILS% I have been in this situation and I called that person on the phone asked if we could get together and talk as friends which he agreed to and after explaining the situation and why I did what I did he forgave me. That was 9 years ago and we've been together ever since. I guess it just d…
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During the relationship , you may not seem happy , and may always seem like you want to leave him etc. But when you guys actually break up , everything changes. You feel completely lost , and you just need him there. What I'm trying to say is.... when he's there with you, you don't care...when he's …
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If common sense reasoning doesn't work, tell him you would ask your new spouse to answer the phone. Politely ask your new spouse to answer the phone.
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Some possible reasons are: He might either: Feel bad, Still like you, but not as much, (Just like he likes other people that are simply only his friend), Or really like being your friend, but nothing more. If it's the last option, evaluate how you feel. Are you satisfied with only being his fri…
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Why is it a problem? Are you being graded on performance?I can't think of a situation where if two people were really in love that would be a problem. Heck, it most likely would be a very serious turn on.Really? Why would anyone care? Would you?   Just do, and then they will think that how th…
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If you ever truly loved your ex you will always love your ex. It's natural to think of them. It's natural to miss them and wonder how things could have been. If you love your new partner then concentrate on that relationship and try not to let your ex become a problem. Yes, you still love your e…
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A person remembers the last contact they have with you, so, the next contact you have with her, make a sincere effort to be nice and say something that is heartfelt and meaningful. Then don't contact her for a while. She will think fondly of your last meeting, and then be more willing to reconcile.…
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I will share my experience and observations. I have seen the immature partner in such relationships undergo tremendous growth as a result of the breakup of the marriage. It doesn't always work that way, but if the ability to become mature is in the person it will usually come out when needed. Either…
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Accept it.....We only are able to let go that which we are willing to accept. Remember, you cannot fly. It is something you have accepted and therefore do not obsess over. Once you are willing to accept things you can easily forget about it. Want some pointers of acceptence? Make it insignificant, d…
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This is my advice, as Asterix123, first, talk to him. Tell him how he hurt you and how you know he lied to you and ask if he is really sorry. If he isn't sorry, a good idea to let him go free now... If he is sorry, tell him you will give him Another chance. If he hurts you again after that, tell him…
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You need to spend some time together before you talk to him about things that went wrong, give him the good times that you had and bring him back to remember the memories that he enjoyed, after he really remembers what happened then talk to him about it and speak about how you have matured and whats…
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%DETAILS% Answer Just because he's an ex-boyfriend doesn't mean you won't have an emotional connection. Be very carefull with this, though. If you value your marriage, you'll avoid anything that can introduce danger or weakness into your relationship. It's not wrong to continue a friendship …
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Its time to move on. You have obligations to the current relationship. If you really don't love your current partner, this relationship has its own problems. If you do love your current partner, learn to forget the past, and appreciate those qualities that make this person unique.  A lot of us…
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Well, maybe she is feeling like you are smothering her or that you are being to "clingy". Some girls like being the center of attention all the time and some don't. It really just depends on the girl. Don't take this to heart. Sometimes woman need some time to thereselves, because they want to s…
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If you and your ex don't hate each other and occasionally don't mind bumping into each other, it might be fine.If you can't stand your ex, and the feeling is mutual. . well, there is going to be a lot of tension and problems.  Yes, but it will be much easier if you and your ex had a clean brea…
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The person may have been discontent in the relationship and just hadn't said anything. A lot of people also can't deal with the strain of a long distance relationship either--it's easier for them to be with someone they can regularly see than someone they phone or email, but don't see much of physic…
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You don't have to deny the feelings you had for this man, or the love you had for the child that passed away.You are afraid that because this man has hurt or angered you, that it will seem as if you wish you had never dated him--or had conceived your baby. This is not the case. Each relationship we …
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He's more concerned about his sexual needs than your feelings. Dump him.   Why would you want to marry someone who cheats on you?That's the question you should be asking. And we can't change other people, it's impossible. So to make a marriage like this work involves a lot of compromise. And …
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True love is an extremely strong emotion, one that makes you consider the other person's feelings and needs over your own. If you can't stay faithful, you either do not love that person or you have a problem that you need to resolve within yourself. Find out which it is and if you need to, seek help…
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That's not fair to you. Give him an ultimatum. Tell him that it's either you or her - if he doesn't cut off contact, you leave. If he refuses this ultimatum, it's likely that he still loves the other woman and can't get over it. If that's the case, you wouldn't want to be with him anyway, I assume. …
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.you bunch of n***s why would you EVER even think about going near a bloke thats still "got feelings" "still cares about" "still worries about" his ex. he doesnt love you if he still even THINKS about them alright. so get yourself together, stop being a mess and learn that you can so sooo much bette…
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Well your boyfriend ignoring your phone calls can mean many different things. Right now, think with a level head. First off, don't call him as much right now. Give him some time and space to call you back. If you notice he didn't call you back that day, it doesn't mean something bad. Maybe he was pr…
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Whenever you feel ready to. If you still have feelings for your ex, then you should maybe address these issues first and then make a clean break. If you have already done that, the only reason you must be asking that question is because you are bothered what your ex might think. Will it make you hap…
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