Jealousy

Jealousy affects everyone's life at least once or twice, and is one of the hardest emotions to control. Questions about the "Green-eyed Monster," including the causes, the emotions that jealousy can evoke, how to deal with it, and more are welcome!

1,826 Questions
Relationships
Teen Dating
Jealousy

How do you know if a guy is getting jealous?

You would know because he would give you the look like he is mad at you or he will try to impress you

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Relationships
Cheating
Breakups
Jealousy

How does dyslexia affect relationships with other adults and partners?

Unless the other is very judgmental, there should Not be the problem.

Pray to God and ask God about this or individuals.

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Anxiety Disorders
Jealousy
Emotions
Cough and Cold Medicine

Does mucinex cause anxiety attacks?

It can.

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Relationships
Friendship
Family
Jealousy

Which colour is usually associated with jealousy?

  • Red is used for jealousy and green is when someone is 'green with envy.'
  • Green is Jealousy, followed by Red for anger, then blue for sorrow.
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Relationships
Family
Jealousy

What can you do to rekindle a relationship?

Things to do to rekindle your relationship:

1. Go out of your normal routine, try something different, spice things up a bit.

2. Either spend more time together, or spend some time apart (not spliting up), give it a day or two without contact, and see how much you really miss them.

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Parenting and Children
Siblings
Jealousy

What is it called when jealousy shown towards a new baby by an older brother or sister?

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Jealousy

What do you do if your spouse is overly jealous?

(This is incomplete, but most points are covered.)

(Replace "his"/"him" with "her" if your partner is female)

Since you're asking, it means you find your partner's jealousy exasperating or annoying.

Now, JEALOUSY IN ITSELF can actually be very benefical to a relationship,

MISTRUST however, is destructive.

Jealousy always means that your partner loves you,

(though his idea of love may differ quite a bit from yours)

and that your partner

1. fears losing you or/and

2. feels a lack of affection from you

( is missing what you give others ) or/and

3. is possessive ( "(s)he is mine only!") or/and

4. feels you're breaking the rules (explicit or implicit) of your partnership

For 1-2:

Let's look at "jealousy at a current situation" first:

(adapt this according to your and your partner's personalities)

Next time you're doing something in your partner's presence

that you suspect will make him jealous, check (look at him).

If you think it does, stop it at once.

If you think your partner will accept a display of affection

in the current situation, walk slowly up to him,

holding eye-contact, embrace him tightly,

give him a tender kiss on the lips, and say sth.like:

"You should know I love you. Even if I DO talk to others."

or

"I like some people. But I love YOU."

or

"You know, I'm very attractive. I could easily find myself someone else,

but I don't. Guess why?"

You get the idea.

Of course, this has to be both honest and credible to your partner.

Leave then. (Together, of course. Need I say that?)

If you think your partner won't allow a display of affection

in the current situation, leave as quickly as possible

and do this as soon as you have sufficient privacy.

It may go something like this:

"What's the matter (with you)? "

"I was getting the impression you were getting jealous."

"(flustered)"

[see above]

You may need to repeat this a few times till the message gets through.

Now let's take a look at "jealousy at a past situation":

This equals (maybe irrational) mistrust;

The "Where you've been? - What you've been doing? - And where did you get that bruise?" kind.

This is already possessive, but points 1-2 may still be the real reason behind it.

Your partner's jealousy is proof of his love:

This means you can treat it that way: as a compliment.

Do say that you'd prefer flowers / a seduction /...

It may go something like this:

"Are you looking for smooch marks again?"

"Yeah."

"So, you love me."

"Yeah."

"I like that."

Of course you can treat it as an insult instead.

(After all, it IS - from another point of view.)

If your partner's mistrust is NOT irrational,

you need to remove the grounds upon which the mistrust is based.

Note that it may be irrational from your point of view,

but not from your partner's.

In that case, let him explain

(give him time to think about it),

give it some thought

( a few minutes to a few days),

then tell him where you agree and where you disagree and why.

A very simple solution is if you can both agree

on mutual sexual infidelity.

(It's not infidelity anymore if you both agree to it.)

After all, from an intellectual point of view,

sexual fidelity doesn't make any sense anymore.

(If precautions are taken.)

Why should you mind if the one you love has some fun,

and it doesn't hurt anyone in any way?

(Unless you're coming short yourself.)

This works only if both are very liberal-minded and unpossessive people.

In which case you probably wouldn't be reading this, unless Nr4 applies.

On the other hand, sex with the one you love should always be more pleasant (though less exciting) than with some stranger.

So infidelity doesn't make any sense either, except for excitement.

For 3. possessiveness:

A) Again, you can accept it as a sign of your partner's love.

Note however that it usually gets worse as time goes by.

So think hard on under what conditions you'd still be happy

(or at least content) and draw the line.

If the line is crossed, run / break up.

B) Treat your partner. Break up his concept of possession.

(You may need professional help for this.)

Make it clear that (s)he will defenitely lose you

if things continue as they are,

but that (s)he MAY probably "keep" you forever

if (s)he can accept that your relationship MIGHT end anytime,

from both sides.

Help your partner to find a way to express his love

that cements your relationship instead of destroying it.

Demand his cooperation - you don't stand a chance without it.

For 4. your partner feels you're breaking the rules:

If you ARE breaking explicit rules you agreed to,

pay the prize of cheaters. Otherwise:

Ask your partner where (s)he'd set the boundaries;

if they differ too much from yours

either compromise or defy them as too constraining.

Tell your partner the rules that you WILL adhere to.

Note that rules always apply to both partners.

Your partner will either accept, or leave you.

(or terrorize you -> refer to "abusive relationships")

Often when one partner is excessively possessive and jealous, it turns out to be a case of the jealous spouse "projecting." He may believe that if the situation were reversed he'd be tempted to cheat, therefore he convinces himself that you must feel the same way and would act the same way.

Don't argue about it, it will just make you appear defensive and maybe even guilty in your spouse's eyes.

You've been married a long time, too. Sometimes insecurities set in when you've been together so long. You can't always control these feelings, and they aren't always rational. You may start wondering if your spouse still finds you attractive, or perhaps you've begun taking each other for granted. Then suddenly something happens to make you see your spouse as a man again and not just a father and/or husband.

An innocent kiss or even a look from another man, may suddenly have caused your spouse to realize that you are not just his wife, but you are an attractive woman who can still turn a man's head. That can definitely make someone insecure. Often an insecure person, will lash out in an attempt to regain control and confidence by putting someone else down. Certainly not a mature way to cope, but neither is it uncommon.

My husband and I kind of went through a similar situation. We'd been married for about 10 years, when he found out a friend of his had a "crush" on me. Needless to say he was not pleased. I finally got sick of his jealousy, and we sat down and had a long talk. And believe me, it was like pulling teeth to get him to cooperate, but eventually we worked things out. He still doesn't paticularly like it when other guys flirt with me, especially younger guys, but we deal with it and we COMMUNICATE. Now we are both allowed to have friends of the opposite sex and even flirt, but we make sure to let each other know they're not taken for granted, that we still love each other, and try to always reassure each other that while we may flirt the only people we are really interested in and attracted to are each other. And we've promised to always be honest with each other. He tells me about the customer who came on to him at work, and I tell him that I spent an hour talking to a male friend on the phone while he wasn't around. He even laughed when I told him about the cute younger guy who...um... "reacted physically" to me when I flirted with him.

It may not work for everyone, but it's done wonders for our relationship.

What I do does not seem to work. Overly jealous people, i.e., women, have a pre-conceived notion about men, and no matter what you say or do to disprove her jealousy, its not good enough. It gets to the point that you begin to think like her and that's when the bombs go off. Once you confront her about the same type of jealousies she's been having about you (i.e. the phone rings twice then hangs up, her being inseparable from her cell phone - even in the bathroom, etc) there is no rationalizations there. It becomes a full blown war, and no end is in sight. Believe me, the jealously and insecurity is much farther embedded in this person and was not necessarily placed there by you. She may even go so far as to blame you for putting that lack of trust there, however when you try to make her realize that she does the exact same things that you do, yet you don't make these things issues, she'll find a way to get around her actions as being justified and resort to berating you again for something else. Makes you want to pull your hair out and set your head on fire!

You can't predict how other people are going to act. Why didn't your husband say something to the person kissing you on the cheek? He has a problem with other people actions, he needs to stand up to the plate and say something. You weren't going around kissing people. He is the man that is to protect and defend you. I would go to the phone and call the person that did the friendly kissing, explain that your husband is upset, then put husband on the phone. If he won't speak up then tell him to shut up. You cared enough to show him there was nothing going on and that the behavior wasn't helping your relationship. make boundaries that no hugging or kissing is allowed. yYu tell the female friends and he can tell the male friends. If he doens't comply with the rules, go out separately without him.

My boyfriend is very overly jealous, and many friends of mine have told me it may be a sign he's cheating himself. I know I really need to communicate with him because I find myself lying to him all the time about male friends and everything else because he snaps, but I am afraid it will cause more conflict if I bring it up.

My husband is over the top, he checks all my school work, clothes and private stuff. He has my e-mail address and even hears all my phone conversations. Sometimes I think that he is just plain crazy. When he arrives home, he leaves his car two blocks away from the house then walks home through the alley. When he finally gets home he first checks threw all the windows then enters threw the back door. Afterwards, he checks all closets and rooms. This is truly embarassing since we live with my parents. I also think that he is totally crazy since he works diffrent hours, and every time he gets home he checks my body for any marks. If I have a scratch or a bruise, he says I had sex in the car.

HE IS CRAZY... But I love him, and I know that in the past, I have given him reason to doubt.

Communication is the answer. You need to talk to your partner that your relationship is on the rocks, everytime he or she gets overly jealous of the things that he doesn't even know well. One of you should open this topic once in a while to be able to get to the real cause of the jealousy. But you know there are really partners who just get jealous without any reason at all. All that I can say is paranoia, which has no medicines for it except to develop trust with your partner.

Jealousy is a portion of INSECURITY, and it will BREAK a relationship. There is not a good jealousy. There isn't an "overly" jealous. Jealosy is just that. Its insecurity, some people know how to deal with it. We have all made mistakes, but when you cheat on someone, that is soooo wrong. There are a lot of people that instead of saying "Look, you can't do this" they will stay in a relationship and stay comfortably miserable! Counseling and therapy are great ways to deal with insecurities, but a lot of people never get there.

I just left a relationship where I was accused of being "sick" with jealousy. I haven't been in a relationship where I felt jealous in years and years until this one. Not to say I haven't had the human nature type of jealousy before but not like this. The reason I was jealous is that I was insecure in the relationship itself. I'm a very open and honest person and share my life with the one I'm in love with. There are no secrets between us. There were things that my boyfriend would "forget" to tell me, or things that didn't make sense and when asked about, he couldn't and wouldn't offer an explanation. His lack of communication led me to draw my own conclusions, and he chose not to add his own. Once this pattern is established, it only gets worse until it is either resolved or the relationship is over. My boyfriend didn't tell me how he felt, made mean-spirited comments to me, rarely complimented me, and it seemed as if he didn't truly care about me. When a person feels loved and is happy in a relationship, there usually isn't jealousy. It's when the jealous person's needs are not being fulfilled that there is an underlying feeling of insecurity.

I suppose it really depends in the cultural background. For instance, in American culture (as seen in most answers above) jealousy is seen as a weakness, marker of insecurity, even "sickness". Whereas in some other cultures around the world showing that you are jealous (even excessively) is a form of showing your undying love for your mate. As an American, in my cultural context, the presumtion of love through a show of jealousy seems a passive/communicationally immature way to express oneself. But as with all human communication it is all about the agreement in style and context of communication that a group, community, or culture lives into. Therefore asking your partner what is happening for them emotionally that makes them feel the way they do...is probaly the best bet. That also means being 100% committed to them and attempting to understand where they are coming from. Sometimes a world perspective can help tame the beast that is defensiveness.

Well, cure her insecurity. Sometimes it's your fault because maybe you have done cheating before so she can't get over it until now. All you have to is secure your love to her, insert more effort in caring for your relationship and put God in the center of your relationship then everything will be alright. It's a matter of proper communication and openness with each other.

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Cancer (zodiac sign)
Jealousy

How do you make a Cancerian woman jealous?

By flirting with other women.

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Relationships
Breakups
Jealousy

What does it mean if your ex is flaunting his new relationship at the work place where both of you are employed?

If your ex is doing so, Ignore him. Tell him that you do not care and that you moved on. He is doing this just to make you feel jealous .

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Teen Dating
Jealousy
How To

How to Make a girl jealous at a dance?

Just dance with other girls.

If you want to make her jealous because you've broken up or something, just have a good time without her, and dance with all the girls you can.

Be a man and ask her to dance. (Coming from a girl)

156157158
Insurance
Companies
Jealousy
Stress

Can a company be liable for an employee under the influence of alcohol?

Maybe. If the employee is acting within the scope of his authority given by his or her employer, then it is likely that the accident will be imputed to the employer, regardless of the alcohol issue. On the other hand, if the employee is clearly outside of the scope of the terms of his employment, the employer may not be liable. For instance if an employee decides to get drunk and rob a bank while on the job, it is likely that a court would find that he/she were outside of the scope of the job. It is always 'gray'.

Absolutely, if the supervisor/owner are aware the person is intoxicated and take no action, the company and the person(s) in charge are responsible for anything that may happen due to the employee's condition. For example if the employee causes damage to property or personal injury, emotional distress, etc. to someone other than themself. The company and any persons involved can be sued for damages and in some situations criminal charges against any involved parties could apply. And possibly other serious matters such as insurance, licensing, contractual problems, and so on.

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Relationships
Friendship
Jealousy

How severe is jealousy?

The sefer Orchot Tzadikim relates the following parable to show the severity of jealousy. There was once a man who was jealous of his neighbor for his wife and some of his possessions. One Friday he heard his neighbor had left on a business trip. That night, the jealous neighbor broke down the wall separating the 2 houses (thus breaking the 4th commandment of Shabbat). He then went in to the house and took his neighbors wife (thus breaking the 10th commandment of not being jealous of your friends possessions) and had relations with her (thus breaking the 7th commandment of adultery). After having relations, he then sought to steal some money, but the woman went up against him and so he killed her (thus transgressing the 6th commandment of killing). He then stole all the money (thus breaking the 8th commandment of stealing, as well as the 10th commandment of jealousy). After the incident, his parents came to rebuke him for what he had done, and out of anger he struck them (thus transgressing the 5th commandment of honoring your parents). Later on he was taken to court and testified falsely with witnesses (thus breaking the 9th commandment of not bearing false witnesses). After that people started approaching him regarding the matter and to every individual he swore falsely (thus breaking the 3rd commandment of not saying Hashem's name in vein). Out of frustration over the incident, he decided to join a new religion and began serving idols (thus transgressing the 2nd commandment of not serving other gods) and completely denied God's existence (thus breaking the 1st commandment of serving God). We see from this incident that through jealously once could come to transgress all of the 10 commandments.

Additionally, the sefer Orchot Tzadikim relates the following parable: A king once went up to 2 of his servants and told them that he would grant them any one of their wishes. However, the king said that whatever the first man asked, the second would receive double. The first servant thought of asking for a large sum of money. However, the servant thought to himself, were he to ask for a large sum of money, his friend would receive double the amount. Therefore, the servant instead asked the king to take out one of his eyes so that the other servant would lose both of his eyes! We see clearly from here the extent that man will go simply in order to possess more than his friend, and thus be able to receive honor.

Furthermore, Rabbi Moshe Chayim Luzzatto (Mesilat Yesharim) writes that the desire for honor is stronger than any of the other desires in the world. If not for honor, Rabbi Luzzatto writes, all people would be content with whatever level of livelihood they have. We therefore see that jealousy comes as a result of one not feeling they are receiving the proper dose of honor. And how severe is jealousy and seeking honor? The Mishna (Pirkei Avos, 4;20) states: "Jealousy, lust and honor seeking remove a person from the world." Therefore, Korach died as a result of his jealousy and honor seeking.

139140141
Cheating
Marriage
Jealousy

Why would your husband act jealous when he is leaving you to be with another woman?

That would be due to the ex still wanting a back up in my mind. Or that the person thinks they have made a mistake.

This could be them being selfish in a way.

Best thing to do at times is just totally cut the cord. Unless you want the ex back, then, it's really up to you on what to do.

Good question. think i understand your question. First off, you should ask him.

But my guess is that he wants the best of both worlds or it's a possessive thing, and both are not fair to you! Deep down if he still loved you and wanted to make it work, then he would need to let go of the other person. also, are you still physically involved?

Another consideration, do you have children? if so, then maybe he wants to make sure you'll remain a good mom to the kids.

Best thing to do is tell him it's none of his damn business though!!

There's a psychlogical term for his attitude and behavior. It's called 'Projection.'

"According to the theories of Sigmund Freud, psychological projection is a psychological defense mechanism whereby one "projects" one's own thoughts, motivations, desires, feelings, and so on onto someone else."

For a more in depth explanation in simple terms:

Basic Psychology: Neurosis and Projection

i can bet he blamed you for all things wrong in your relationship too..he is not looking at his actions...only what you did to make him do what he did..easy escape from reality of his selfishness ...also he could be trying to keep you on your toes so he feels just fine having a good time with another woman ..keeps you off track from the real truth ...him playing he is jealous..projection at its finest...there is your answer..he is so wrapped into himself he even tells you by his projection what he is doing!!! look at it! lol women are so much brighter and more intuned - keep your power and dont let anyone disrespect you -

Some people who are doing wrong can't just leave without blowing the place up and turning the finger towards you. It's just his way of "blowing" things up to get you to react. He knows he has done wrong. Jealousy is insecurity in it's UGLIEST form. It's easier to walk away pointing finger then walk away with his tail between someone elses legs.

138139140
Mental Health
Relationships
HIV and AIDS
Jealousy

What can you do if you are depressed - should you talk to someone?

What Can You Do If You Are Depressed
  • ABSOLUTELY see someone, and NOW ... before it gets worse or you lose out on more life than you already have. Any medical clinic or hospital can direct you to where to go and what to do.

    Please, do it now!

  • Yes! You should talk to someone, even though at the time it may not feel right. But remember that, with depression, many people don't understand or believe people do suffer with it. Try a parent or close relative; if you can't explain it properly, find a pamphlet that says everything for you and hand it to them.
  • Talk to a trained professional -- a therapist, psychologist, or licensed social worker. They understand depression in its many forms and can be of great help.
  • People get depressed usually have no such talent to talk to someone. they would be frightened when some stranger in front of them pointing out their fault. they are used to live in their own world. So, the best way to solve your depression, is to read book introducing your situation and follow the book's instruction. Here, I get a very practical tip for you. Lose your energy! Everything energy-consuming would be good for you. Such as, jogging, yoga, dancing, reading news script loudly. Even just thinking about these kind of activation will help you stay out of depression.
131132133
Cheating
Teen Dating
Jealousy

How do you make girls jealous?

If the girl likes you there are more possibilities for her to get jealous so you may wanna start like this

1step: look for some1 she hates and ask her out

2step: if that girl she hates says yes hold her hand when the girl you like (or likes you) is around kiss her

3step: talk to the girl you want to be jealous how much you love the girl you hate(ur gf)

4step: she'll definatly be jealous

Hope this help

130131132
Parenting and Children
Jealousy

Why would a daughter be jealous of her Mother?

well because the mother is the head women of the family and maybe

doesn't listen to the daughter .

Because she needs somethings and the mother doesn't buy them and gives her lists and lists of why not

so the daughter might wanna do that to the mom

119120121
Jealousy
Emotions

What can you do when doubt comes along in your relationship?

well, if you really trust your partner you shouldn't really be in doubt. or if you still are, then you have to trust your partner more because remember, your partner trust you enough. Or if your really in doubt, then try doing something a sport or a hobby to get it out of your mind or try calling your partner (but not to ask anything stupid or suspicious) and talk to your about this and that and maybe after you call your partner you'll feel kind of stupid (no offense) doubting your partner If you have any kind of doubts, that's something you need to address somehow, not ignore. You can talk to your partner directly (the recommended route) or you can talk to some of your mutual friends. Which path you choose depends on you and what kind of doubts you're having. No matter what, though, you need to talk to your partner about it eventually because it's something you both need to work on because being partners means you are a team, no matter what. Speaking from experience, I'd say you tend to worry alot. About everything, not just the person you're with. Perhaps you're doubting the future, or questionning why that person is with you. What you need to do is realise that they are with you because they love you. If they don't, god knows why they're in a long-distnace relationship with you. If they do love you, however, you need to trust them. It's a hard thing to do, but knowing someone loves you is very different to thinking it.

111112113
Property Law
Postage and Shipping
Landlord-Tenant Issues
Jealousy

Are there any codes that reguire certain distances between a car and the mail box the mail carrier complains that one of ours is parked too close?

Clarification I lived at this location 15 years and it has never been a problem - Since this new mail woman started her job- she complains about our car on the daily bases. I do not any other place to park the car. What can I do?

The only thing I can find that could be applied is

United States Code TITLE 18 - PART I - CHAPTER 83 -

979899
Relationships
Breakups
Jealousy

You are jealous because my ex boyfriend is getting married how do you get over it?

109110111
Relationships
Friendship
Family
Jealousy

Are there any online support groups about jealousy?

There are others, just search Google for them... it really depends on what kind of support you are looking for. Please view the related links.

107108109
Movies
Final Fantasy
Jealousy

Did aerith feel jealous with tifa?

Aerith can be described as jealous but it goes in both directions. Try listening the the Case of Tifa and The Maiden Who Traveled the Planet.

105106107
Relationships
Friendship
Family
Jealousy

What is the latin word for jealousy?

Invidia is the latin word meaning jealousy

99100101
Relationships
Long-Distance Relationships
Teen Dating
Jealousy
How To

How to know if a guy is jealous?

Remember that there is a fine line between him being possessive and him being jealous, which isn't always bad in a relationship.

If his attitude changes(be it him upset, angry, annoyed, somewhat clingy, etc) whenever you're around other guys or talk with them, and especially if the other guys show to have an attraction towards you can mean he's jealous. (Him being possessive would mean him irrationally flipping out because of this.)

596061
Adoption
IQ
Jealousy

What should you do if someone makes fun of you for being adopted?

just ignore them and they wilol sooner or later leave you alone.

AnswerTell them that your adoptive parents must have thought you were VERY special if they bothered to pick just you out from all the others.

if some one makes fun of you they are doing it because they are losers and they feel bad about them selfs and they willl apoligize later anyway if you ignore them

919293
Relationships
Teen Dating
Jealousy

What should you do about an abusive insecure jealous boyfriend?

AnswerDoes he respect your boundaries and privacy? Does he ignore your wishes (for instance, by choosing from the menu or selecting a movie without as much as consulting you)? Does he disrespect your boundaries and treats you as an object or an instrument of gratification (materializes on your doorstep unexpectedly or calls you often prior to your date)? Does he go through your personal belongings while waiting for you to get ready?

Does he control the situation and you compulsively? Does he insist to ride in his car, holds on to the car keys, the money, the theater tickets, and even your bag? Does he disapprove if you are away for too long (for instance when you go to the powder room)? Does he interrogate you when you return ("have you seen anyone interesting") � or make lewd "jokes" and remarks? Does he hint that, in future, you would need his permission to do things � even as innocuous as meeting a friend or visiting with your family? Then you are faced with an habitual abuser.

AnswerThat's pretty scary.... First off, talk about what has happened to you to your friends/family and only people you can trust. Write down every call and record them if possible. Or else, write down meticulously everything he says to you. This is to help you remember everything and become stronger. His manipulative ways won't affect you as much. If he has a copy of your keys, change the locks. Also, I'm not an expert or anything, but talk to the police for recommendations and maybe see a social worker or something...The more people know, the better. Remember, you in no way deserve this constant feeling of terror. The more you talk about it, the stronger you will get and the more you will be ableto protect yourself and eventually move on to a better life. I wish you the best AnswerLet me tell you...i have been through this exact situation and he was a HORRIBLE person he dragged me through the dirt emotionally and treated me like a piece of S**T!! This all went on for quite a long time; i would say about a year when one day he physically abused me and i said enough. I cut him off and it was THE BEST thing i have ever done. And to be honest with u when i think about him the thought makes me sick he was soo nasty ewww!! Just get rid of him i know its hard but bite the bullet life will be so much better when your over it!! GOOD LUCK!!
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