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Narcissism

~2600 answered questions
Parent Category: Mental Health
Narcissism refers to a mental disorder which involves excessive admiration and love with one's self. It is also characterized by a need for admiration and attention from others as well as an exaggerated sense of self-importance.
I read this in a book titled something like "Personality Disorders in Modern Life" published by Wiley: There are two factors that determine whether someone is cheating (i.e. whether someone is sexually promiscuous or sexually conservative). One is impulsiveness. In other words, lovers/spouses with …
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Did the person leave because they're a narcissist, have love for the other person, or both? If the individual has left you for someone else, why would you want the person back? Move on! The right person for you may just be right around the corner. Answer2: A narcissist has more love for themselve…
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Children from Narcissistic families are no different than any other children who have been abandoned. As the child grows up and is old enough to trace their parents some do, while others are angry or quite comfortable where they are. However, if possible it is a good idea to locate your biological p…
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Answer Unfortunately yes. It is no different than a child growing up in an abusive household, or a child that comes from divorced parents. Children immulate adults. People don't realize that children retain a lot of memory from their very younger years. We are what we are in the environment we gr…
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This is a personal quote from me and only my opinion. I caught a glimpse of some reality shows (the shows of the future) and it seems we are going backwards in intelligence instead of forward. To put down, or make people fight or squabble or "stay alive" is setting the dogs loose on an already paran…
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I'm new to this idea that my "friend" may have narcissism. I too, wonder if he is a narcissist. I've looked at many websites on the subject. When I find the behaviors listed to be a narcissist he only fits about 3. They say 5 is the answer for narcissism. However, I've copied excerpts from many diff…
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First, there are many ways for an abuser to become healthy. The main solution is to decrease stress in the abuser's life by first finding the main stressors. Counseling and therapy can both catalyze the process of finding the main stressors in a persons life. This is only a solution if the abuse i…
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Healthy narcissism is self-love.What is the difference between self-love and narcissism and how does it affect the capacity to love others?There are two differences: (a) in the ability to tell reality from fantasy, and (b) in the ability to empathise and, indeed, to fully and maturely love others.Th…
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(Note: Narcissistic Personality Disorder is something that can only be identified by a mental health professional who has examined the person in question. Other than that, "narcissist" is a word meaning "loves oneself excessively" and is susceptible to varying interpretations.)1: A Narcissist is som…
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You are not safe with a narcissist, so you need to make sure it is over. The longer you stay, the more likely your children will show the same behavior in their relationships. Going from verbal to physical abuse can be a close thing. You need a team to support you as you make the move; the most dang…
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Before believing that there is no hope for treatment (as you easily could by reading a lot of misinformation on-line about narcissism) please consider these points; a. Are you sure of the diagnosis? Even professionals have trouble distinguishing between NPD and narcissistic tendencies and the prog…
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I want to stay married to my narcissist and have gone through many leaps and bounds to improve the communication between us. However I find it extremely difficult to keep up with it and not let it get to me emotionally. It's exhausting to stay on top of a narcissist emotions and not end up feeling d…
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The narcissist ages without mercy and without grace. His withered body and his overwrought mind betray him all at once. He stares with incredulity and rage at cruel mirrors. He refuses to accept his growing fallibility. He rebels against his decrepitude and mediocrity. Accustomed to being awe-inspir…
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Sometimes the narcissist does gain awareness and knowledge of his predicament - typically in the wake of a life crisis (divorce, bankruptcy, incarceration, near death experience, death in the family). But, in the absence of an emotional correlate, of feelings, such merely cognitive awakening is use…
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Your son is likely to encounter narcissists in his future. In a way, he will be better prepared to cope with them, more alert to their existence and chicanery and more desensitized to their abuse. For this you should be grateful. There is nothing much you can do, otherwise. Stop wasting your money…
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%DETAILS% Answer A Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a systemic, all-pervasive condition, very much like pregnancy: either you have it or you don't. Once you have it, you have it day and night, it is an inseparable part of the personality, a recurrent set of behaviour patterns. Recent r…
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If the person found an alternative relationship in the intervening period, the flame is unlikely to be rekindled by your newfound celebrity. My narcissistic partner had an ex-wife who achieved success and wealth after they split. He told me stories of how he was actually the one who wrote her b…
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The study of narcissism is a century old and the two scholarly debates central to its conception are still undecided. Is there such a thing as HEALTHY adult narcissism (Kohut) - or are all the manifestations of narcissism in adulthood pathological (Freud, Kernberg)? Moreover, is pathological narciss…
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Answer The answer to that question is not simple. Each situation is different and requires a different and unique approach. I have shared my knowledge with my soon to be ex. This was for my gratification.....pure and simple. It was my way of telling him that he no longer would control the situati…
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It depends on numerous factors. Two narcissists OF THE SAME TYPE cannot maintain a stable, long-term FULL FLEDGED relationship. Narcissists are either cerebral or somatic. The somatic narcissist flaunts his sexual conquests, parades his possessions, exhibits his muscles, brags about his physical a…
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"Insanity" is not a medical - or even unequivocal - term.Personality disorders are an excellent example of the kaleidoscopic landscape of "objective" psychiatry.The classification of Axis II personality disorders � deeply ingrained, maladaptive, lifelong behavior patterns � in the Diagnostic and…
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Of course they do. All humans have emotions. It is how we choose to relate to our emotions that matters. The narcissist tends to repress them so deeply that, for all practical purposes, they play no conscious role in his life and conduct, though they play an extraordinarily large unconscious role in…
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Answer In the manifestation of their narcissism, female and male narcissists, inevitably, do tend to differ. They emphasise different things. They transform different elements of their personality and of their life into the cornerstones of their disorder. Women concentrate on their body (as they…
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There are no hard statistics on narcissism because they often go undiagnosed. A true narcissist is less likely to become an addict because of the way that they view themselves in relation to the rest of the world. They see themselves as better than, and doing drugs/drinking/vices would bring them do…
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There are two varieties of shame:1. The Narcissistic Shame ("shamelessness") which is the experience of the Grandiosity Gap (and its affective correlate). Subjectively it is experienced as a pervasive feeling of worthlessness (the regulation of self-worth is the crux of pathological narcissism), "in…
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Narcissists belong to two broad categories: the "compensatory stability" and the "enhancing instability" types.These narcissists isolate one or more (but never most) aspects of their lives and "make these aspect/s stable". They do not really invest themselves in it. The stability is maintained by ar…
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Narcissism knows no sexual orientation. Now, there are two main types of narcissists, and they tend to fall mostly along gender lines. There likely isn't any research to see whether gay men are more likely than heterosexual men to be "somatic-narcissists" as opposed to "cerebral-narcissists," though…
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%DETAILS% Do not keep your abuse a secret. Secrecy is the abuser's weapon.If all else fails, the abuser recruits friends, colleagues, mates, family members, the authorities, institutions, neighbours, the media, teachers - in short, third parties - to do his bidding. He uses them to cajole, coerce…
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The narcissist knows to tell right from wrong. He is perfectly capable of anticipating the results of his actions and their influence on his human environment. The narcissist is very perceptive and sensitive to the subtlest nuances. He has to be: the very integrity of his personality depends upon in…
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Because he wasn't sure that he has secured a substitute. Nasrcissists drop their current sources of supply (devalue and discard) ONLY when they have an alternative ready.Narcissists are addicted to a drug known as "Narcissistic Supply". Attention (good OR bad), adulation, applause, fame, celebrity, …
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The short answer is no. Narcissism is not caused in adulthood. There is nothing one adult can do to another adult that will cause something as serious as narcissism. The adult psyche is far too well established and functional to be destroyed in the way one with narcissism has their psych destroyed. …
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The narcissist ages without mercy and without grace. His withered body and his overwrought mind betray him all at once. He stares with incredulity and rage at cruel mirrors. He refuses to accept his growing fallibility. He rebels against his decrepitude and mediocrity. Accustomed to being awe-inspir…
Popularity: 190
You bet they adore being famous, or even notorious. This, by far, is their predominant drive. Being famous encompasses a few important functions: it endows the narcissist with power, provides him with a constant Source of Narcissistic Supply (admiration, adoration, approval, awe) and fulfils importa…
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Know and accept thyself. This is what you are. You are highly intelligent. You are very inquisitive. You are a narcissist. These are facts.Make a list: what does it mean to be a narcissist in your specific case? What are your typical behaviour patterns? Which types of behaviour are counterproductive…
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%DETAILS% Answer There is a huge difference between having narcissistic traits, a narcissistic style - or even a narcissistic personality - and suffering from a Narcissistic Personality DISORDER. Healthy narcissism is a mature, balanced love of oneself coupled with a stable sense of self-w…
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%DETAILS% You should take his threats very seriously and act to defend yourself and to take all necessary precautions.Pathological narcissism is a spectrum of disorders. People suffering from the full blown, all-pervasive, personality distorting mental health disorder known as the Narcissistic Pe…
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Yes, they forget insults, the ones they say to you.   Narcissists are often vindictive and they often stalk and harass. They hold grudges indefinitely. They rarely forget a slight or an insult - real or imagined. They nurture the pain, dwell on it, magnify it, analyze it, and form conspirac…
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%DETAILS% What a curious and thought provoking question.My first reaction to the headline question was "why on earth should it make any difference at all to his potential to be destructive?", but then I thought, more and read your full argument.I do not personally subscribe to the hypothesis of "…
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Hate is too strong a word as women go with Narcissists. They resent them as most are heterosexual and thus need them to an extent. They are indifferent and disinterested in women as individuals becoming readily bored by any partner and need to control them as well as enjoy abusing them. Think of the…
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Overweening, smothering, spoiling, overvaluing, and idolizing the child - are all forms of parental abuse.This is because, as Horney pointed out, the child is dehumanized and instrumentalized. His parents love him not for what he really is - but for what they wish and imagine him to be: the fulfilme…
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Narcissistic Personality DisorderPathological narcissism is a life-long pattern of traits and behaviours which signify infatuation and obsession with one's self to the exclusion of all others and the egotistic and ruthless pursuit of one's gratification, dominance and ambition.As distinct from healt…
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This depends on which definition of "narcissist" you were referring to. Extreme narcissism is called Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and, yes... they exaggerate, need attention, and have a hard time understanding or caring about anyone else. It is part of the disorder. [There are many stor…
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Once formed and functioning, the False Self stifles the growth of the True Self and paralyses it. Henceforth, the True Self is virtually non-existent and plays no role (active or passive) in the conscious life of the narcissist. I do not believe in the ability to "resuscitate" it through therapy. It…
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There are no reliable stats. It seems to be a case of genetic predisposiiton brought out by environmental factors. For sure the almost stand alone factor is emotional abandonment by BOTH parents during infancy / early childhood. Some lines indicate having an N-Momster rather than an N-Dad lead…
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I agree with what a lot of you have said. I find a lot of narcissists at the gym. They are so fixated on their looks and many go to become "hot" and to acquire an enviable look. They act cold, arrogant, and soulless many of them. Few, if any, will deign to hold the door for another entering or leav…
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Answer The cognitive impairmernt and emotional deficiencies of the narcissist are described in minute details on my Web site. It contains 1000 pages, so I suggest you use the ubiquitous search engine and the Site Index. Answer I would recommend you search in your local university library, wh…
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Not sure about "spontaneous" healing, but this seems to be one of the very few articles on NPD out there with valuable information.http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa4087/is_200301/ai_n9197353/pg_1              There are gradations and shades of narciss…
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Give up. Achieve closure. He doesn't deserve more than what you have already given him.The word "love" is understood by the narcissist to mean "dependence", "neediness", "ability to provide narcissistic supply", "becoming the narcissist's extension and property".In these - distorted and sick - sense…
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Traits of a Narcissist Narcissistic traits include: being argumentative,arrogantconceitedvainfretfulfrustrated/idlefluctuating between superior and inferior.They have an unusual obsession with appearances.In partners they go for a mirror image of themselves selecting similar facial characteristics, …
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the general consensus amongst psychologists seems to be that the disorder is compensatory. while the narcissist may truly believe him/herself to be good-looking and intelligent, they clearly do not feel these attributes are enough to make them a truly superior being, hence the need they feel for the…
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On the contrary, most families leave the narcissist.
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I don't have a personal experience of this, but I can tell you, from having a Narcissist/Psychopathic father, that I have always had a feeling inside that something was missing. I have come to realize, through my own counseling and studies in psychology, that this is that part of my inner self that …
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The narcissist is a binary human being: the carrot is the stick in his case. If he gets too close to someone emotionally, he fears ultimate and inevitable abandonment. He, thus, distances himself, acts cruelly and brings about the very abandonment that he feared in the first place. In this paradox l…
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When I met my NPD ex, he was persuing me very hard. In fact so hard that it was uncomfortable, but I was very young and didn't know to trust my judgment. Sometimes we would be at a restaurant and he would grab my hand and just stare at me. Which by itself is not a problem, I think lots of people do …
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Answer The classification of Axis II personality disorders -- deeply ingrained, maladaptive, lifelong behavior patterns -- in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, fourth edition, text revision [American Psychiatric Association. DSM-IV-TR, Washington, 2000] -- or the DSM-IV-TR for short -- has c…
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God is everything the narcissist ever wants to be: omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, admired, much discussed, and awe inspiring. God is the narcissist's wet dream, his ultimate grandiose fantasy. But God comes handy in other ways as well. The narcissist alternately idealizes and devalues figures…
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Once formed and functioning, the False Self stifles the growth of the True Self and paralyses it. Henceforth, the True Self is virtually non-existent and plays no role (active or passive) in the conscious life of the narcissist. I do not believe in the ability to "resuscitate" it through therapy. It…
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The same rules apply wherever you find a narcissist in your life. You need to educate yourself about this personality type. Create emotional distance. You need to strengthen your ability to detach yourself from them in all ways. You need to learn not to waste your time trying to correct them or chan…
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%DETAILS% Here are a few of the things the narcissist finds devastating:Any statement or fact, which seems to contradict his inflated perception of his grandiose self. Any criticism, disagreement, exposure of fake achievements, belittling of "talents and skills" which the narcissist fantasizes th…
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Pathological narcissism is a spectrum of disorders. People suffering from the full blown, all-pervasive, personality distorting mental health disorder known as the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) - are, indeed, more prone to violence than others.Actually, the differential diagnosis (=the dif…
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Narcissists are addicted to narcissistic suppy.Narcissistic Supply (NS) includes attention, fame, notoriety, adulation, fear, applause, approval. It is a mixed bag. If the narcissist gets attention -- positive or negative -- it constitutes NS. If he can manipulate people or influence them -- positiv…
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. You couldn't (improve on last answer, or have a relationship with a Narcissist without feeling abused). You cannot have a relationship with an abuser without feeling abused.
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Be sure to maintain as much contact with your abuser as the courts, counsellors, mediators, guardians, or law enforcement officials mandate. Do NOT contravene the decisions of the system. Work from the inside to change judgments, evaluations, or rulings - but NEVER rebel against them or ignore them…
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No study or research at any time has shown any connection whatsoever.
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Answer There are four techniques of coping with a narcissist, whether male or female. (1b) Mirror His Behavior Mirror the narcissist�s actions and repeat his words. If, for instance, he is having a rage attack � rage back. If he threatens � threaten back and credibly try to use the same …
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As Dr. Sam rightfully states above aka NPD. However the question asked about N-ism and maybe the question was specifically about NPD but just in case....This to me hs been one of the minor confusions in my studies of N-ism.In the DSM bible (Diagnostic Scholastic Manual of Psychiatry 1994) under the …
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NPD cannot be diagnosed with any certainty prior to early adolescence (13-14). Narcissistic traits, a narcissistic style, and even a narcissistic personality can be evident earlier in life, though.  Many old school shrinks hesitate to diagnose anyone with anything until they are 18 as that is …
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%REPLIES% Answer Hi, You can participate in discussions about Abusive Relationships - click on these links: http://www.suite101.com/discussions.cfm/npd http://www.suite101.com/discussions.cfm/verbal_emotional_abuse http://www.suite101.com/discussuions.cfm/spousal_domestic_abuse …
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If the narcissist regards you as a potential future source of narcissistic supply, he will seek to compromise. If he has given up on you as a source of supply - he will fight you tooth and nail.
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I am married to a man whom I was separated from for 4 years. I betrayed me with my friends and a school teacher. I lost custody of my children to him. I was happy being alone. My husband persude me the entire 4 years we were apart. While we were apart the neighbors he betrayed me with, finally real…
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One Person's Experience The closest adult family members feel dejected and disrespected after interacting with the narcissist, who remains emotionally a child even when reaching adulthood. The family members experience a range of disparate symptoms that they cannot explain or understand. a) The nar…
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There are no statistics available. Very few narcissists are diagnosed as such because they often avoid therapy and detection altogether. Wow...in my situation, she married someone that is obvious N supply for her. He caters to her and treats her like a queen and once she looked at him and at me…
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Hi, Lisa,Think of it as a prospective credit transaction. If he believes that an investment in you will pay off sometime in the future (in other words, that one day you will again become a source of narcissistic supply) - he may give you something.If he believes that he stands to lose more than he s…
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Unfortunately, I have had to deal with two narcissists in the past four years. I have found that they become completely powerless if you do everything that has been mentioned in the previous answers (mirroring them back, raging back, keeping your comments to outsiders truthful and very short, keepin…
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He probably wants to call and contact you but absolutely will not crumble and make the first move. He has another source of supply and doesn't need you as a source any longer (especially since you have become a source of narcissistic injury - negative supply). There are many types of sources of narc…
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It is absolutely essential that you first be sure that your employee is in fact a narccissistic individual or else your remedy for the situation may just end up alienating a normal healthy person who is adapting to the relative dysfunction (stress) of the office environment that you have become accu…
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Because you believe the best in people and take them at face value. You believe in giving praise and encouragement instead of criticism. I have been married to a narcissist. It was my second marriage and lasted 9 years and he has just cheated on me and lied to me in ways I find unbelievable. he is n…
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If he is a true narcissist he hates children. The risk of abuse - physical, psychological, and even sexual - is considerable. My book: "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited" (c) 2003 Lidija Rangelovska Narcissus Publications   I think if the narcissist is the kind who receives narcissis…
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Answer The narcissistic leader is the culmination and reification of his period, culture, and civilization. He is likely to rise to prominence in narcissistic societies. The malignant narcissist invents and then projects a false, fictitious, self for the world to fear, or to admire. He maintains…
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Oh! The answer is something along the lines of how long is a piece of string? Everyone has some level of narcissism. Don't you smile at a camera? Do you believe any garbage that anyone on the internet will give you to sate your delusions of perfection? Look in the mirror before you judge another.…
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%DETAILS% Narcissists are addicted to a drug known as "Narcissistic Supply". Attention (good OR bad), adulation, applause, fame, celebrity, notoriety - are all narcissistic supply. The people who supply these consistently, reliably, and predictably, are called "Narcissistic Supply Sources".Why sh…
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Your best strategy is to show him that HE has no merit in your life. Stay calm and appear unaffected. Let your attorney handle the legal responses and just stick to the facts. N's are so arrogant, they think a judge will recognize their superior intellect and side with them. Don't even refer to him …
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Narcissism, in modern psychology refers to an abnormal affection of one's own image or one's own personality. Narcissism is characterized by an exaggerated sense of self-importance and superiority. A sociopath suffers from an antisocial personality disorder which is defined by the APA (American Psy…
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Donovan is incapable of loving and, therefore, has never loved you (or, for that matter, anyone else, himself included) in his entire life. His natural capacity to love and to return love was all but eliminated by his horrid childhood. We practice loving first and foremost through our parents. If th…
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This is Really awesome! i am forever grateful, Robinson is great and a genuine spell caster, he is worth using, he is good in all round! without him my life would still be at it's lowest point. my lover wont have been back, before i used Robinson I i tried many casters and waited nine months to have…
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Unlimited success, fame and power. All day everyday. They also try to act out these fantasies and make them into a reality to obtain even more narcissistic supply. These fantasies help reduce the feelings of inferiority, shame and doubt about themselves. Eventually they will believe these fantasies …
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The narcissist knows to tell right from wrong. He is perfectly capable of anticipating the results of his actions and their influence on his human environment. The narcissist is very perceptive and sensitive to the subtlest nuances. He has to be: the very integrity of his personality depends upon in…
Popularity: 167
Narcissism is the personality trait of selfishness taken to an extreme level, and like any personality trait, it can be slowly changed through great effort or at least blunted with behavior modification techniques. While it is possible for children of a narcissist to suffer some emotional issues due…
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Alcoholism is often co-diagnosed with NPD. However, not all alcoholics are narcissists (though some may have narcissistic traits). Use of many drugs including alcohol produces an overinflated sense of self. It can make the user appear more confident and more likely to take the limelight and ignore …
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I don't think this kind of behavior is unique to narcissists.
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Answer It sounds to me like he won't leave you alone - and you won't leave him alone! Answer I've read this many times and have found it to be TRUE in my circumstance...stay COMPLETELY away from the N. Not a word, not a smile, not a glance. Don't feel guilty for ignoring him. You mean nothing…
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Narcissists are either cerebral or somatic. In other words, they either generate their narcissistic supply by applying their bodies or by applying their minds. The somatic narcissist flaunts his sexual conquests, parades his possessions, exhibits his muscles, brags about his physical aesthetics or …
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There is a great black comedy called "High Heels" with Jean Paul Belmondo and Mia Farrow, about a man who would seem to fit all NPD criteria who swears by only choosing "homely" women ... it rang a little too true for comfort.It seems to me that often the more narcissistic among us tend to gravitate…
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I would have to say that the competition for attention, the all-consuming jealousy, the societal expectation for them to act somehow compassionate or loving when they are incapable of this and their general distaste for any demonstration of human frailty or imperfections (which sickness represents f…
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To a narcissist, I would recommend a functional approach, perhaps along the following lines:Know and accept thyself. This is what you are. You are highly intelligent. You are very inquisitive. You are a narcissist. These are facts. Narcissism is an adaptive mechanism. It is dysfunctional � but it …
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They may appear to listen intently to potential sources of supply. It is their way of "captivating" them. But they aren't really listening to the other person. : I don't know, let me ask one. Me: "Hey, hon, are narcissists capable of listening?" N: "What, are you talking to me?" Me: "Are narcissi…
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== = yes! Anything they are accusing you of, they are doing themselves   In the narcissist's surrealistic world, even language is pathologized. It mutates into a weapon of self defence, a verbal fortification, a medium without a message, replacing words with duplicitous and ambiguous vocables…
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I described in "The Guilt of the Abused - Pathologizing the Victim" how the system is biased and titled against the victim.Regrettably, mental health professionals and practitioners - marital and couple therapists, counselors - are conditioned, by years of indoctrinating and dogmatic education, to r…
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Answer Narcissists continually test their companions/mates/spouses - "If she knows my true character will she abandon me"? It would be a mistake to attribute this kind of behavior to altruistic motives. Answer From my experience with an N, they would never say that anyone is better than them…
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My Narcissistic partner did the following; forced me in to an abortion, hit me once, pinned me down on the bed, gave me that look, proposed constantly then forgot about it the following day, kept everything shrouded in secrecy, told his friends lies about my current occupation or work status to make…
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