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Breakups
It takes two to make it work, but only one to break it up. This is the place to ask questions about the pain, healing, and possible solutions to relationship break-ups.
8,665 Questions
Everyone has there own opinion and I really don't know the whole story on this situation, but it sounds to me like he has put you on a shelf until he figures out whether or not he is positive about leaving his wife....You need to find a single man that will fall in love with you and wont have to worry about leaving a wife....Just think " If he is cheating on his wife with you wont he do it again to his next lover/wife which will be you next" So just think hard, you are being used and you deserve better... I honestly don't think he has any intentions on leaving his wife, and as long as you let him go back and forth between the two of you he will continue doing so.....so don't let him get away with it and tell him if he loves you like he says he does he will leave his wife of forget him because he cant have his cake and eat it to..but I am 18 and I have never been in the position you are and I probably don't need to give advice but i love to help people. but you deserve better and more then what he is giving to you ...Good luck,..and don't let him keep going back and forth between the two of you.....
AnswerI am sorry to say, but you aren't hearing the messenger. You say that you are trying to get over him, but it's obvious you are still seeing him or you wouldn't be hearing those lies coming from his greased lips! Yup, this guy is doing a con job on you. I bet he's older too! Older men know how to manipulate young women because they are older and been around the block a lot. They know the right words to say while getting what they want. The messenger is saying "This jerk is not going to leave his wife!"I am really sad that so many young women don't get the drift of what these men are doing to his wives (perhaps children) and that these wives have feelings just like you do. This man once loved his wife and now he's cheating on her! Why would any young woman want to waste her precious time on such a jerk! Do you think you're special? Do you think you are better than his wife? Well you aren't and if you should snag a married guy into leaving his wife he either won't put that engagement ring on your finger or, if by chance he does marry you, he'll cheat again when he gets tired enough of you.
I am sorry to hurt you in this way, but the truth does hurt, and please, for your own sake don't date married men. They take up precious time from your youthful years and more than that they take your dignity and pride. If you meet a man that is divorced then that is a whole different ball game.
Get that dignity and pride back girl, and kick this jerk to the curb!
AnswerYou don't know he is being truthful unless he leaves his wife.I am in this situation myself and I have now severed all contact with him. I will not wait for this situation to change any longer, I am worth more than being second best. If he does leave his wife, and I am available, then so be it. I know it is hard to get over someone you love, especially if they say they love you too and I'm sure his reasons seem justifiable to you at this time. How long would you be willing to wait? 6 weeks, 6 months, 6 years? Think how you would feel, if after all this time waiting, he changed his mind and decided to stay. Please don't delay living your life for a promise..
AnswerI was your situation & found the best way to the truth is to reveal everything to his family. I did so with mine & found out how he really thinks & feels about me & it wasn't nice, despite all the "Ilove you"s & "I can't live without you"s he had been uttering only moments before. Men will quickly adapt to having 2 women meeting their needs whereas it's a rare woman who can do this. Many men will remain in their marriage because of the stigma & risk separation brings. Mine wouldn't leave because of what his father would think. It takes a strong man to leave his wife & those are the married men you should be going for, if at all. These men at least have some integrity & quickly realise how selfish it is to cause so much pain to those they profess to love. Ironically it becomes more difficult to leave as the affair goes on longer, the way of life becomes entrenched & the man usually becomes stuck.Remember the truth is that any man who is prepared to lie to their wife & children will have absolutely no qualms about lying to teir mistress, whatever promises they make & he has already broken the biggest promise he ever made by seeing you.
MAN PROBLEMSYou get the hell out of the situation as fast as you can. He does not love you, plus why would you be with a married man? No one with any experience in situations like this would council you any differently. You (and he) made a mistake. Your best advice would be to think about yourself and what you need to do to "get clear" of this man and the situation. If he continues to call or whatever, you have leverage in that you can threaten to tell his wife. There will be time for grief and recriminations later. Right now, it is important to break the ties and step clear and get moving. How do you get over a married manwell,in the first place you shouldn't be seeing a married man,but it is your choice. I know from experience that they very rarely or ever leave their wives. The reason for this is because they still love their family life and don't want to lose everything they have built up in the marriage,because they know they would lose their ass in a divorce. Then again he could possibly still love his wife and doesn't really want a divorce just alittle on the side. If these married men even thought the little wife was doing the same thing or even thought about it they wouldn't put up with it for a minute. It's a EGO thing for some of these men to think they are studs if they can juggle two women at the same time. When and if he is finally caught he will drop you like a hot potato,this is if he is really in love with his wife. I would move on as fast as I could if I were you. Months and possibly years are being wasted stayinhg with a man like this.Its not easy to do..
I hate to say this but I will, though. I am in love with a married man. But I think I have a claim over him more than his wife does. We were together for two years before he met his wife. It was an unwise decision he made. First, we broke up because of a very unacceptable reason. We had a lot of misunderstanding that month. Secondly, after trying to make things work again, we just can't. So we were drifting apart. And HE decided to end our relationship. He told me I wasted his two years. Of course hurtful words were said. But if you will see through it, it will hurt you because of two reasons, one is pride, second is "because you love him dearly". I go for second. Weeks after we broke up he get hmself a new girlfriend. Brought her in his house, introduce her to his family. After a month he accidentally get this girl pregnant. And so that's the story! He had to marry her. And I was stuck. I was hurt. I was in total agony of having to see him everyday with his wife and kid. He's my neighbor, mind you. But there's something I forgot to mention. His dad was very sick and He was like compelled to give him a grandchild already. I was pressured and frustrated at the same time.. I was still studying, I was in third year of my major. That's the reason we had a lot of misunderstanding. Trust was lost, we got even! He got himself a new GF and of course i did the same. And now, we can't get over ourselves. I love him. He loves me. But he's married so there's no way things will be brought back to the way it used to be. But we did. We are together now. Though he hasn't left his wife yet. He can't FOR NOW. Why? because his wife has nothing to do with us. Because his wife hasn't done anything wrong with me, and with him. Because his wife had been nothing but good to him and to his kid. Its just LOVE that's between me and him. We're happy when we're together and we are EXTREMELY sad when his with his wife. How would you know if he's being truthful? Me? I'm weighing things. Him being honest about the goodness his wife shows to him and their son, him being honest about being unable to leave his wife for now coz there's really no reason to do so except for the fact that HE loves me more than his wife. You see guys, sometimes, there's really reason why young women hold on to married man. Its wrong in the eyes of many people, but all things has reasons behind. We will not choose to be in this situation if we are just plain stupid. Or yes, most people are stupid, when it comes to loving somebody so much you don't care if what you're doing is wrong or right.
I am in the same situation now but the difference is my bf (married man) choses me against his wife because he doesnt love his wife anymore and he dont want to stay in a relationship with no spark, no care and no love. For him his child will be the one who suffer most because of daily fighting routine and no sweetness at all. And whatever consequences may occur between us i am ready to face and accept it, because I chose to be happy with the man i truly love and he chose to stay with as his true love..
Answeryou are getting played. Hes trying to fulfill the fantasy of two women at once. Most men have tried. Nearly all are successful at some point. Stop thinking with your heart. Think with your head.He may have feelings for you, but I'm guessing they aren't love. You may just be comfort to him, especially if he gets you back and doesn't have to make or commitment/tell you he loves you. It doesn't sound as though he respects you.
How can you tell if he still loves you if he's too stubborn to admit it?
the only way to know for sure is to ask him. Tell him you really need a straight answer as to whether he still loves you! If he does he will tell you. If he says he no longer loves you then it is time to move on. It will hurt to hear that but at least you will know for sure. Hope this helps.
A Point To Ponder
Is he too stubborn to admit he loves you? Or are you unwilling to accept the thought that he doesn't?
that's were you went wrong men don't know how to awnser women because they are a@@ holes
What does it mean when an ex girlfriend is already in a relationship after a month of breaking up?
It means you can move on too. You could spend forever thinking about this girl, but it will get better before you know it, and you'll be able to look elsewhere.
What if your ex narcissist stalks you and calls you anonymously?
It is bad and you should run fast and flee town.
- The first mistake both of you made was to desert each other during these certain issues you both had to deal with. When two people are in love they work through problems whether the problems are personal to the boyfriend or girlfriend. Staying apart to deal with your problems is not the way to go and staying together and using those good communication skills can resolve 99% of most problems in a person's life. If he refuses to stay together then it's time you got out with friends and started to date again to give yourself more independence and to find out what you need it your life. When a woman can stand on her own two feet and know she doesn't need a man in her life to exist this is the time for a serious relationship.
How do you break up with your boyfriend for lying and cheating on you?
easy u slap him, maybe call him a name and say its over
You want to leave your wife of 10 years you have 4 children?
it is a hard decision to make and it should also be a careful consideration of making such a move. if you do not love each other anymore, or if you are constantly fighting, the kids ( and you) will be better off in the end, with separated but happy parents.
on the other hand all relationships has ups and downs, and when there also is kids involved it can be worth a try to make it work.
there are no right or wrong answers here. in the end it is you that has to decide based on your own feelings.
good luck, hope it works out in one way or another!
Ok, so you're in Junior High School or High School and lonely. It's all good, Brother. Woman have a particular way of controlling men. Personally, I would use this to your advantage. First, she's probably not in to you like you think she is. The reason her friend sits on the other side of the room is because, she probably thinks it's a bad idea to be doing whatever she is to you or she just can't stand you...
Believe me, guy, woman love to talk. If she isn't sharing her feelings with you, then she wants nothing to do with you, and when her need for your "assistance" wears out, she'll throw you out like yesterdays garbage.
There is a positive side...get her to introduce you to all her hot friends, or pass around a good word or two about you, if you're unable to do it yourself. Heck, try hooking up with her friends. That'll teach her to meddle with your emotions. In the end, you're all very young (probably) and you'll be a better man afterwords...then again, you could be a woman.
....or....do nothing, continue to be her door mat and let the good times roll. Either way you'll probably get sick and tired of her and she you, or you'll play a "little game, I like to call 'just the tip', just for a second, just to see how it feels, or ouch, ouch you're on my hair"....
you choose, it's your life....when you start asking strangers, you get messed up answers. why don't you ask a relative you trust?: father, brother, cousin...etc...
How do you tell if this girl going to break up with her boyfriend?
There are no proper signs of a girl whether she is going to break up or not. But certainly there are various things that tell that. It might be the case that she flirts a lot.
you wait for him... while seeing what else is in store somewhere else
How do you convince your boyfriend not to break up with you when he ships out?
You can't convince him not to break up with you, it's his decision and his feelings.
What if your ex-girlfriend ignores you at school but calls you at night?
You should ignore her. She probably have problems seeing you in front of her friends. But if still truly loves you, she shouldn't care about what other people care.
Why did your boyfriend suddenly dump you when everything was going so well?
Maybe he didn't think things were going well. It might have been only you thinking that everything was just swell. If he acted like things were going well in front of you, that might have been a cover-up.
How do you talk to your spouse about something that you can't get off your mind?
Just be honest. Honesty can cause pain, but in the end, you will have whatever you are thinking off you mind.
There is no room for games when it comes to a relationship. If you want to talk to him then try to get together with him and talk with him in order to be able to find out for sure what or what is not going on then you both will know where the other one stands.
Avoid contact with her and keep your distance for awhile and see how things go - she is the one that broke up with you and has made her choice but it seems she is playing games for whatever her reasons. It would be in your best interest to let her go, let go and move on. Leave the past in the past.
Should you break up with a girl for another?
If your current relationship is crumbling, then you may suggest to her that it isn't working and you think you should see someone else. If things are good between you at the moment then stick with it. Tell the other girl something on the lines of "I like you but I like her too and we're already set"; let her down gently. Just don't keep giving up on relationships for other girls.
What do you do when your boyfriend dumps you for a guy?
That's his loss, not yours. The best thing for you to do is not let him see that you're disappointed. When he walks by, talk to your friends and have fun. If he asks you out again, play hard to get, but then say yes. If you still like him, that is.
Your ex fiance sent you a picture mail of his penis does this mean he wants to get back together?
It depends on who took the picture. Nothing say's it like flowers.
This means
a) he doesn't want to be with you anymore.
b) he wants to be with you but isn't sure if youwould.
or,
c) he still loves you but doesn't know if it will work out anymore.
How do you get your ex-boyfriend back if he has a new girlfriend?
- Sort your life out. Have a happy life. He's probably got her on the rebound. Think aout all of the things you've wanted to do, but couldn't because you were with him. It won't take the pain away straight away, bit it'll give you a focus. Have you wanted to travel? Learn a language? Do something that everyone says is "not like you." Do it. Do it NOW. Forget about this idiot who obviously didn't know a good thing when he had it. In the meantime, you may or may not meet someone new. But at least you'll be having a more interesting life. When the honeymoon dies in your ex's relationship (as it will if it hasn't already) you'll still be having fun, and he may be wondering why he made the break. But like I say, you'll be having a wonderful adventure....
- How to get your ex-boyfriend back if he has a new girlfriend? HMM this is a tricky one. I think the best things to do is don't appear needy and desperate, as this may push him furthur away. Let him see that you arent hurting that he has found someone else. In the meantime, stay in touch with your ex as a friend, and be there for him through thick and thin, cos if his current relationship ends in tears, he will see what a great "mate" you have been and will be crying on YOUR shoulder. BINGO! Also, he MAY have asked her out on rebound to make you mad and jealous. think about that.
- I would get with one of his friends, and they would tell him he was stupid for letting "our" relationship end and that HE is having a blast with her and yattayattayatta and he'll want you back. OR mess around with his brother or cousin .It may take a while but in the long run he'll turn back. Just TRY and hide your sadness and heartache please. Hey don't worry I;m going through the same thing.:(
- I disagree with getting with his friend or family members because this could also push him further away and cause un necessary argument between them and then you may lose the both of them.keep in touch but not to much that he knows you are still attracted to him if he tries making convo let him try don't give in the first time he talks wait a while and in your own way let him know you are still wanting him but not so obviouse that he can know that what he does effects you deeply Hey, I know what you all are going through. I was dating a guy for like a month and then we had some problems and then we stopped talking. My ex and i had sex twice and after the second time that's when the problems came in. He wanted space and i didnt want to give him space. I wanted to talk things out with him but it seemed to him that i was wanting to be with him all the time. In a way i was and in a way i wasnt. I just wanted to know what was going on with him sence you know dating means letting each other know whats going on. Anyways i just wanted to give you some tips. 1.) when your boyfriend wants space give it to him. 2.) don't push for answers. 3.) don't make any kind of bets against him. 4.) don't talk about him to your friends. 5.) don't give out his number without asking him first. 6.) don't call him over and over. call him like once a day and if he doesnt answer leave him a message and wait for him to call back. 7.) don't assume anything with out the real facts.
- well personally, my ex boyfriend now has a new girlfriend, and lately he's been talking to me about how bad it's going between them two, and how much it's a shame that it didnt work out between us two. so i agree that you should just be there for him when he has trouble with his girlfriend and give hime advice, then sooner or later he'l realise how stupid he was for ever losing you, and see that he's lost someone who'l listen to him and understand him. Or, if your ever around him, make sure there are lots of other boys to flirt with, and show him that the breakups not bothering you, and just show him that your having a good time. if he starts dissing you to his mates or gets angry or off with you then you know its obviously bothered him and dat he's really jealous. He may also just sit silently and depressed, wishing it was him you were flirting with.
- I know this is superficial, but look do your best to look REALLY REALLY hot! This alone might not do it, but it's definetely a helpful step. I agree that you should be there for him strictly as friends, and not be needy or desperate, act like you're happy as ever, and not upset at all over the break up (even if it's an act), this will make you irresistable. And don't get caught staring at him..it'll give you away. And if his girlfriend is a handful, talks about you, or just hates you for "no reason", then be as nice as you possibly can to her, that way if he finds out that she's hostile toward you, she'll look like a b**ch, and that'll most likely be very put-offish to him. Listen girls I'm going through it right now and i wish you all the best of luck! And i hope everything works out for you.
- Cut him out, don't let him drag you down. Leave him.He probably wants you to notice and get jealous. Heres some good advice, ACT LIKE YOU DONT CARE!He will eventually give up, dump her,and start to realise what he's missing. But if he suddenly asks you to forgive and forget,start over...say no.He is just gonna get more desperate to get you back.Then when you think the time is right, say yes,he will treat you like a queen!
- If he is not happy with his current girlfriend then they will eventually break up. I don't think you should do anything to win him back. If you have a place in his heart, he will be the one calling you. In my opinion, the more you try to win him back, the more its going to hurt you when you see them together. In my situation, I just hope that they are happy. Believe that it's his lost! When I saw my ex, I acted like he doesn't even exist. I didn't even say hi to some of his friends because I was having so much fun. But I will make sure he knows I was there. Such as walking pass by his table, but look straight. Or you can say hi to some of his friends and ignore him. Also I make sure I look good everytime I go out especially around his friends and him. Just make sure everyone knows that you are happy with or without him. Surround yourself with as many guys as you possibly can. He will get jealous.
- Hmm.......well I just think you should move on with your life- FACT! Put it this way, me and my ex have broken up some months ago, but even after that he still kept coming over. He knew how much it hurt me to see him there, yet I knew, or at least was sure he didnt want me back, though he still treated me as his girlfriend. Strange. But then, about a month ago, I see that he has a new girlfriend. And the worse thing is that she lives basically opposite me. I actually see them quite often. Well, I think that you need to just look your best- AT ALL TIMES!! Especially if both of them will see you walking down the road nearly everyday. And also, just be nice. Say hello to her. Say hi to him, that will teach him that he don't own your heart and that you are so much better than that. Put it this way...last time he came over, about 5 days ago, he told me he didnt say to his girl that Im his ex. Apparently she is a very jealous person! Put him in his own spot, girl. You may even find someone better than him. For the meantime, just act like you don't care.
- The answer is: You Don't! You broke up for a reason.
- You should think about the new girlfriend in all this. My ex's previous girlfriend was the one who ended their relationship but then hung around being as nice as possible and dressing up all the time. Last week I found out that they are back together - on national radio! So before you start prancing around in front of someone who doesn't deserve all the effort you`re making, think that you`ll be hurting this new girlfriend who hasn`t done anything wrong and that she`ll never be able to look back at that relationship with the rosy glow of nostalgia, all just because you wanted to prove something to yourself.
- Girl, hang out with girls and make new friends. may attention to other guys. Try to stay your ex's friend but keep your mind off of him when you can. If he really loves you and wants you, he'll come back. And if he doesn't screw him. He isn't worth stopping your life for. Even of you are hurting, act like your better off without him, either he'll come back or you will realize you didn't love him. There are plenty more fish in the sea and plenty more guys in this world.
- Screw it, your too young for this. You will eventually move on. Stop feeling sorry for yourself (telling yourself we was the best for you and stuff)every relashionship you encounter in life makes you a more knoledgable person, in that you figure out what you want in a relashionship and what you don't want......meening....the next one will be BETTER so hold your head's up high and tell yourself IM A WOMAN, or a man in some cases, and i wont stand for this
- There's only two things you can do to get them back. Pretend like you don't care and never call them again so they have time to miss you. Show that you're interested in someone else, or start dating someone. Jealousy is a powerful emotion my friends. The combination of the two should bring him or her back to you. Trust me.
- Make yourself appear sexy and not needy. A sexy women with a LIFE is such a turn on to a guy. Make his friends want you so that THE BOYS are constantly talking about you. IF he calls you up just to talk blow it off tell him your busy but will call him back later. THen call him back two days later. IF he calls with problems tell him sure ive been through the same thing so i can give you advice. LEt him know no matter the situation you are there. Wear his favorite color, have his favor song if he calls you. You get the drift.
- Let everything go because he made the mistake and its his fault but if he still loved you he would go back out with you. But for now just let him go!! Trust me! Things will work out maybe he just wants to be friends with you and that sometimes things don't last forever!
- I wouldn't even try to win a man back that dumped me for another woman. Just ignore him he isn't worth it. Treat him like hes not even there. Dont show any emotions around him. Be yourself with other people but with him ignore him. Hes a loser so why bother?
- I think when you reach a certain level of experience and maturity in life this mushy goose bumpy understanding of love and relationships that most people have ends. I'm at stage in life where I take into account my partners impact on my future children and the life he can provide for us. If your husband/boyfriend is now an EX it is probably for a good reason. Childish men with psychological and self esteem problems play mind games with women. It feeds there need for attention and suspense. I also take into account the worth and assets given by the man in determining the quality and worth of being in a relationship with him. Men that have given you nothing and can give you nothing are a waste of time being involved with with. Wish him and his new love a happy life and get swimming in this great sea of fish.
Here is some input: * Money has nothing to do with love. There are many stories of women married to rich men who are unhappy and leave them for a poor guy because she fell in love. It isn't wise financially, but in your sixties she is probably thinking she wants to live out her life in happiness not wealth. * I am 34 and I kicked him out. I had NOTHING but a dumpy place to live, our beautiful daughter, who is the most important. He used to threaten me to leave me broke, well we aleady were broke as he would not give me any money and I was a student in university. This was two years ago. One day I looked at him and told him I don't care how I survive but get out. I am a lot stronger as a result. I would much rather be happy and have peace than steak dinners and heartache. Rethink your situation. You are in your 60s but that is still young. There are still tons of men out there in your age bracket when you are ready to date again. Don't let money keep you there. Talk to a lawyer if you have legal aid in your area. My divorce did not cost me a cent as I went through legal aid. They help you find a lawyer. Money isn't love. You have one life and deserve LOVE. If he has been abusive or unfaithful, the courts will take care of you financially. Don't wait. What are you going to do? Leave him "LATER?" All you'll be is betrayed and two years older. I'm 65 so I know where you are coming from. It isn't easy to give up on your marriage and start over again at that age, and if you aren't working then trying to find employment is more difficult, but it can be done. My aunt left her husband when she was 63 and is remarried. Miracles never cease! LOL The poster that mentioned Legal Aid gave you some good advice. In Canada women are entitled to half of everything their partner has and that includes the home, vehicles (if there are two one has to go to the wife), RRSPs (for retirement) RIF (bonds for retirees), property investments, etc. I would however suggest that if your husband is extremely verbally abusive and even raises a fist to you (without hitting you) that you call the police and because this is on a report and will help you further when you see the lawyer. Good luck & God Bless (you can do it!)
I was in your exact situation and what you HAVE to do is cut him out of your life. everything that reminds you of him, get rid of it. ERASE HIM. The above advice is excellent. Though it hurts and will take time to get over him, think about the rest of your life, and do it with your brain and reason, not your emotions and heart. I know it's a lot easier said than done, but a lot of women have made a total mess of their lives thinking with their emotions, and it's a lot harder to get your life straightened out later on than it is to keep it on track as you live it. In addition to cutting him out of your life, you should set some goals for yourself if you haven't already and work towards them. So many girls and women concentrate on relationships when they need to concentrate on their own lives. Sure, it's wonderful if you find someone to love who loves you back and you have a great relationship, but that's not guaranteed, and seems to be pretty rare actually. You'll always have yourself, though, and being the best you can be and going as far as you can go is something that you can do and will be thankful that you did later on in life. I know the words seem empty now, but there really is more than one fish in the sea. As much as you love this guy now, time will heal all the hurts and cutting him out of your life and moving on is something that you will be thankful that you did later on.
