Breakups

We need more info. Is he a real sweety? Does he ignore you? Does he respond to calls/email/text/im? If he is not seeing you and him together in the future, I think that you MAYBE should give him a little more bait, and if he still doesn't take it, leave him. Sorry hun. If he doesn't see you together, he might just want you for the sex. How long have the two of you been together, and what haas he done to past girlfriends? It is not good to be with a guy who just goes through girls.

Sometimes

Do you always know exactly where he is, who he is with, and what they are doing? When he isn't at work, is he always with you, doing what you want to do? Do you get upset if another woman shows any interest (not necessarily sexual interest) in him?

People are not objects. You cannot "possess" people. Possessiveness, even the mildest, is, therefore, automatically abusive and, often, pathological.

Definitely When Your in high school you never hear elementary sweetheart. You never hear middle-school sweet heart and you always hear High-school sweetheart definitely when you turn at least 15 hope this helped you a little.

So what? Girl honestly. You're during the same thing right now. If he's talked bad about you its for comfort and validation. Same thing you looking for. Either you let him go or let it go knowing who you truly are. That's all you can do. As much as i would like to say dump him. I wont. Cause i dont advice people things. I only give them SOMETHING to think about based off my experience. What yo dude did. I did to my ex and everyone sided with me. Cause they know the truth about him even if he makes you out the bad guy. And not to mention there are things about him you don't know. As far as him calling you crazy. So what!! Thats the first thing men are ready to holler when they screwed up. Other than facing the fact they brought out those reactions and that they are responsible for everything you question in them as you are the same.

Let him run to his friends. But if he cant be honest with you. He's fake. Simple. Either you accept he's fake and rub it in his face, or not. Or simply call him out on it and keep moving. I talked mess about my ex but at the same time i told him to his face. About every single feeling. However he was secretive and honestly maybe a free spirit ( you all know what i mean by that). I didn't trust him. And being a women who also been called crazy. I didn't trust myself. Cause he provoked me. In many ways. But what i learned. If he lack communication. Giving him complete silence is a thing that hurts... They dont know what to expect or how to respond. And if he think YOU crazy. Just see how he'll react if he truly loves you. Call it mind games or call it the game. All i know is. What his friends think of me is not my concern. What he thinks of me might be. But if he's not willing to open up. Its simple reasons why. He know he provokes you, he know something you dont, he recognizes your worth as a women to him, his insecurities, and or he simply playing a game. Basically he's getting something usefull out of you... And honestly if it's sex you can shut it down cause it has a mental tole anyone. But if you can move pass it. Do so without being emotionally involved. This the world we live in sadly. And it may or may not be clear to us. But what it is. You can control or exclude. They say crazy women give the best sex. So he call you crazy but not letting go. Guess what?. You is to your advantage. Then you'll see. If all those things he say is true and if so you'll see your leverage

It depends on how the relationship ended really?

If s/he cheated on you, why would you want to be friends with a dishonest person?

If you and s/he were constantly arguing, do you constantly argue with your best friend?

Just some points to ponder over :-)

If you dumped him just tell him you weren't thinking clearly when you did that and didnt think about how much you really cared for him.

If he dumped you then the only thing to do is tell him plain and clear you want him back but then after that it's his decision if he wants to get back with you or not.

(:

• Kid, you are never going to win! Mums have a sixth sense and are alwaysone step ahead of their kids. Just because your mum did something to you (short of verbal or physical abuse) you probably deserved it. If you're smart you'll sit down with your mum and tell her how you feel and then listen to what she has to say. Revenge is a waste of energy!

Because you hurt them, if you had a good relationship at one point in time and there are still feelings there, then your always going to feel the pain too.

Relationships are always a two way street, the starting, middle and the end if there is an end.

It's hard to say goodbye, it's going to hurt not only the person that is being broken up with but also the person who did the breakup. It's only natural. It's never easy to hurt someone and that pain that you are feeling after the break up is probably sympathy for them and how they are feeling.

I know when I was a few years younger me and my girlfriend went on a break and she slept with someone else. I wanted to kill her and we had been together for sometime and I can tell you this if someone that your with needs to sleep with someone else "on a break" then they need to be broken off completely. I know that it sucks but if he needs to go off with someone else, you need someone else. ;) Answer What it means is that he is cheating on you. You need to do something about it. If my boyfriend wanted a break, i would understand, i mean i would be mad. But if he sleeps with another girl i would break up with him no matter how much i love him. He is treating you wrong and you need to find someone who would treat you better!

Because you once had a serious relationship with this person and also loved them once they deserve respect and left with some dignity so you are going to have to choose a time when you are alone (TV off) and express your honest feelings with him. Let him know it's nothing he's done, but sometimes people just fall out of love. If you just want to be on your own to be free, then tell him that. You are the only one that knows the true reason why you want to leave him.

-This is a hard question to answer. I would say destroy any remaining evidence that they were ever in your life, however that's a bit immature; seeing that they were and that they obviously had a big influence on you. I would say that the best way to move on is just to simply give it time. Try not to focus on whoever it is, and stay busy with something productive to help keep your mind off things for a little while. When you're really ready to move on, you will.

Sometimes.

Depends. I'd say mostly on the victims state. If they have constantly backed down and forgave the abuser, chances are the abuser will come back and try to suck them in, ya know, being sick enough to take advantage of a vulnerable person or of a particular vulnerable quality.

However, if the victim started standing up and confronting the abuser, showing signs of independence and that they aren't going to thke the abuser's crap, then more than likely the abuser won't come back, because they view it as a threat.

Only if they can regain CONTROL. Show them that they can't control you and they will regroup and find their next victim. Of course they will have already tried every trick in their bag up to this point. It's just like a drug user that can no longer get their drug from the same source. They will scramble in vain to find the next source. CONTROL is the drug of an abuser - their lifeline of existence.

In my experience, YES.

BUT I imagine if there wasn't a pay-off or reward on their return (ie contact, forgiveness, honeymoon period etc) and, instead, a calm, CONSISTENT "NO" to their approaches (followed up by police intervention if need be), they would back off.

However, I think much depends on the person you are dealing with in terms of how persistent they are in returning.

Police, a restraining order and police called to my home subsequent to my obtaining a restraining order DID NOT deter the man I was involved with -- he was on my doorstep 10 days after I obtained a restraining order.

However, I was also the fool that kept taking him in and listening to empty promises (counselling etc).

Nonetheless, it's disturbing that he would ignore the law and probably even more disturbing that despite all, I would take him back rather than contact the authorities while he pathetically pleaded at my door.

But, I loved him or had some kind of emotional bond, so I found it extremely difficult to follow through further with intervention and found myself relying on hope that "this time" things would be different.

I wouldn't wish this nightmare on anyone.

In my experience, yes. My abuser neglected a school suspension to come to school and try to get me back. He also violated a letter of harassment to yell at me in the hallway, several times and now has community service as a result. So basically, whatever restraints are put in place, he violates and then waits a bit til more restraints are administered, and violates them too.

I think though, that it really depends on the person. I've only actually called him out once to talk to him, which I shouldn't have done. It's better to avoid, avoid, avoid. And hopefully, they'll eventually go away. Though I haven't gotten that far yet, so I really don't know.

Yes!

Stalkers and the Borderline Personality

The Borderline Personality

In recent years psychologists have learned about and done case studies on a new personality disorder which the DSM-III-R classifies as an Axis II disorder- the Borderline Personality . This classification includes such personality disorders as the Anti-social Personality, the Histrionic Personality and the Narcissistic Personality. Several psychologists (including myself) diagonosed my stalker as afflicted with the Borderline Personality. Characteristic of the Borderline (derived from research done by Kreisman & Straus, 1989) are:

a shaky sense of identity

sudden, violent outbursts

oversensitivity to real or imagined rejection

brief, turbulent love affairs

frequent periods of intense depression

eating disorders, drug abuse, and other self-destructive tendencies

an irrational fear of abandonment and an inability to be alone

Not much research has been done on the Borderline Personality, and for many years it was difficult to diagnose- and to treat. A Borderline often feels as though his/her life is marked with a distinctive emptiness; a void in which a relationship often acts to fill. Many times the Borderline is a victim of an early dysfunctional family situation and/or emotional/physical abuse by those he/she trusted early on in childhood.

The Borderline is psychotic , in the original, psychological meaning of the term: he/she is not in control and not in touch with reality. To the Borderline, a softly spoken word of advice can be construed as a threat on his/her emotional stability. An outsider's viewpoint that the Borderline is not in touch with reality often ends in a bitter and irrational dissassociation from the outsider on the part of the Borderline. Often, the Borderline ends up very much alone and victim to his/her disillusions.

The Borderline stalker is very apt to see his/her actions as perfectly justified; he/she has paranoid disillusions which support these-often with disturbing frequency. The Borderline often has brief love affairs which end abruptly, turbulently and leave the Borderline with enhanced feelings of self-hatred, self-doubt and a fear that is not often experienced by rational people. When the Borderline's relationships turn sour, the Borderline often begins to, at first, harass the estranged partner with unnecessary apologies and/or apologetic behavior (i.e. letters of apology 'from the heart', flowers delivered at one's place of employment, early morning weeping phonecalls, etc.). However, the Borderline does not construe his/her behavior as harassment- to the Borderline he/she is being 'responsible' for his/her past behaviors.

The next phase of the Borderline Personality develops relatively quickly and soon he/she feels suddenly betrayed, hurt, etc. and seeks to victimize the estranged partner in any way he/she can Strangely enough, this deleterious behavior is always coupled with a need to be near or in constant contact with the estranged partner . While sending threats to the estranged partner, it is very common for the Borderline to begin to stalk his/her estranged partner in an effort to maintain contact. This effort is motivated by the excruciating fear that the Borderline will end up alone and anger that [the estranged partner] has put him/her in this position. We are finding, in many cases, that a great deal of stalking behavior is associated with Borderline or related personality disorders. Earlier research did not incorporate the Borderline Personality in stalking profiles; research now is beginning to focus on the Borderline in such disorders as Erotomania, etc.

The ex boyfriend would probably want you back.

If he dumped you than he is a wimp..... guys are wimps(no affence to all guys) and if they break up with you than it wasnt m,ent to be but its ok <=> you don't need to try to get him back cuz he doesnt know what hes missing=>. you are better than you think you are inside and soon he'll realize that and if not don't be upset .... their are a lot of guys out there who i bet would love to go out with you.=> bye

What I did was flirt with other guys in front of him to make him mad. Plus, stay in touch with him. Become really close and perhaps got to the movies as friends and try and see were it goes fom there. I did that and it turned into another relationship<3

• The statistics for a married man leaving his wife for his mistress is extremely low. Most married men either will lose too much by leaving their wives; embarrassing any children they may have or, some men just want the attention their mistress gives them as well as a new sexual relationship and eventually some cheat on their mistress as well; these type of men do not like to be tied down to one woman and may have several women on the string.

I believe the reason is that although your not together anymore you still have feelings for him.

*That's what happens with memories. You see something and that triggers a memory.

My answer: like u said , "I see my Ex almost everyday",and maybe u are just

remembering, and maybe u are unable to move forward u are like me

because I did the same thing, it's just like the problem 2 + 2 = 4, you

remember it because it is part of your past and u learned more from it

just like your relationship, because it was a small step that forms who

u are. :)

No kids should not be allowed to divorce parents. They should be allowed to make them up. Divorce is a big decision and i not taken by children.

well, some signs is that if he looks at you, he's probobly wondering if your looking at him. if he's looking at you then obviously he's thinking of you :]] also sometimes if the guy you like is shy, then he might ignore you for a little. or if he asks if you have AIM or AOL or myspace or something, he's probobly interested. if you need to know more.. email me.

or IM me. or whatever. :]] duffluv2@aim.com<--- email

duffluv2 <----- AIM

For your own personal well being, you are better off letting it go and moving on with your life. Revenge never pays off, and can only complicate your life. If you do not learn to release this resentment and anger you feel, the only one who will really suffer is you. Harboring anger, hate etc. will eat you away mentally and physically.

Being alone, all you need to do is occupy yourself... Read a couple of books, watch a movie or two, fill in your scrapbook, cook or bake something scrumptious up to eat. Just make sure that whatever you do keeps you mind occupied. =D