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Dating

We all get stuck and need advice about our relationships. The contributors in the Dating category work hard to give you that advice with the best intentions and sincerity.

22,748 Questions

Should you be upset if your boyfriend goes to a dance?

(All advice is generic and incomplete of necessity. Apply as fits, and use your own brains.)

AnswerBachelor parties are common and acceptable by most in today's society. If you are upset, explore strengthening trust in the relationship. Bachelor parties are a harmless way to celebrate a man's last day as a bachelor. AnswerYes, bachelor parties are disgusting betrayal (and I'm a man, mind you). If he goes to one without your consent then he is selfish, he is a traitor, and you can find a better man than him. AnswerSince you ask, you are, whether you should be or not. Either because you're afraid he might reconsider or take this last opportunity to have sex with someone else before he'd be breaking a marriage vow (though that would still be cheating in most relationships)

or because the idea that he's "celebrating his last day of freedom" insults you, since it implies he wouldn't marry you if he had a choice. Then you should know that a bachelor's party is almost never HIS idea, but that of his male friends. He may actually have a problem with it himself, in which case maybe you should provide him with the excuse "my wife doesn't want me to", though he should be more upstanding. More likely, he likes the idea, in which case it shouldn't be a problem for you even if you don't trust him, since this will show you if you can.

AnswerNo, you should not be upset if your boyfriend is having a bachelor party. I mean the worst thing you can do is try to control him. Bachelor Parties today are a cottage industry and the bad things you think might happen really don't. AnswerNO ABSOLUTELY NOT, let him do his thing if u tie him down it will make matters worse go out for a drink with your girlfriends or something hun

Depends on his friends!

AnswerSounds like you both might have some trust issues. Guys and girls should both be allowed to go out with friends. Even if it's a bachelor party. Let him go and trust him. Then maybe he will understand that he can trust you too. Detailed case:Hey thanks for the advice, but I really do trust him. It is just the places he is going. I know his ex will be there, and she still calls. I don't like that, so that is why it bugs me

REPLY: So you don't trust him really (under these harsh conditions). Ask him whether he trusts HIMSELF under these conditions (alcohol, tempting suggestions/women ...). If he doesn't, he should change them.

REPLY2:I know it bothers you that his ex-girlfriend is going to be there, but then again it's a trust issue. He shouldn't have any problems with you having a bachelorette party either. What does he do when she calls him? Has he asked her to stop or are they just friends? then only thing I can tell you is you have to trust him and if you have doubts sit down and talk with him about it. Don't accuse, don't throw fits, don't get angry, just sit and talk with him about it. Besides, fighting with him about it isn't going to solve anything and just make things worse.

Good luck.

REPLY3: Nowhere in the posters question did they mention an ex-girlfriend attending the bachelor party. My question is, why is she there? A bachelor party can be anything. It can be guys just going out for some beers at a pub and cutting of a little (or a lot), or going to a strip bar or even a private party his friends are having for him. Other than strippers there should be no girls present and that means no ex!

Men having these bachelor parties is a celebration of the last night of "freedom!" That's all it should be. In high end strip bars the girls do dance (possible lap dance) but that's as far as it usually goes and the bouncers see to that. Those girls aren't out to date your boyfriend, but entertain and they get paid for it. If you have a problem with this then you have a jealous streak in you.

REPLY4: If his ex is going to be there then I have no idea why you aren't going. Please explain! Yes, it's odd to me and even if he's true to you, you can bet she's going to do her best to try and get his attention.

[Comment: This may not be a bad thing. A bachelor's party is supposed to make clear to him what he's giving up (at least in part), and whether he's REALLY serious about his commitment. Though it might make the impression on him that everyday would be a party (depending on his intelligence). As to why SHE shouldn't go...How could he possibly celebrate freedom from her in her presence?]

How do you tell someone that you like them even if they have a girlfriend?

there are plenty of ways to let a guy know you like them with out actually saying anything. be creative and smile and be his good friend- if you really like him then you should care about him and be genuinely interested in him and how he is doing regaurdless of who he is with- at some point- it is almost a certainty that he will not be with his gf- and he may remember how good you made him feel about himself and then come around

What if you break up with your boyfriend and he doesnt call you?

Then he obviously didn't care about what happened between you two...or maybe he's hurt.

What are some good questions you can ask your boyfriend?

This question is a bit odd seeing as on what you want to ask which can be based off of anything at the time and what you want to do. I suggest being more specific in your question might help you more as in asking, "What are some questions to ask your boyfriend about his new hair style?" or something along those lines. Catch my drift?

You're being too broad.

Who is marny Kennedy's boyfriend?

Marny Kennedy does not have a boyfriend in real life, but in the TV series A GURLS WURLD (she plays ally) her boyfriend is Dan ( played by Luke Erceg).

What does that mean if a guy constantly stares at a girl even though she ignores him and when she looks back he prolongs it?

He's obviously either A) weird, but he is attracted to you or B) studied body language, and attracted to you. Either way, he probably likes you. Guys dont stare at girls they dont like. ESPECIALLY if they are ignoring him. You should check to see if he stares at other people the same way. If not, he definitely wants you.

What should you do if you still have emotions for your ex?

If you got apart due to incompatibilities (I do believe life will be miserable if you have to live with someone with one characteristic you cannot stand with) it does not mean you cannot share sometime together. Liking each other may allow you both to become friends. Friends may even have a wonderful and healthy coloured friendship (my own experience) what many times easy to get along. Most important is to keep respect. Dare to have the freedom to be yourselves. Treat everyone as you would like to be treated.

Why would an outgoing guy be quiet around a girl he's friends with?

Because mean are complicated, they see you and they think about you, they can't stop. Him being quiet around you could be a sign that he likes you... i think that you should talk to him see if he shows any flirty signs. he;s nervous around you, if he only acts this way around you this could be a sign of him liking you!! x

On a school bus my friend sat next to then I sat on top of my boyfriend and madeout with him why is my friend who sat next to me mad?

Your friend most likely has feelings for you and is heartbroken or was jealous. Your friend mayu also be mad because they sat next to you to talk and be with you noit to watch you make out with your boyfriend that could cause some tension between you and your friend

If your 10 and you like a girl what should you do?

I would say to acknowledge it, but don't let anything get too serious. It's best to keep off of serious relationships (i.e. going steady) until the two people know themselves, not each other, a little better.

How do you tell if my friend has a crush on me?

Well, if you share some of the same classes with them, you might see that they tend to look at you more often. Also, they might/will get embarrassed around you. Also, they might comment about you more often. These are only a few ways you can tell>

Why is she distant one day friendly the next then distant again?

There are many reasons why a person might be distant. She might have a lot on her mind. She might also be upset by something you did, or something someone else did. She might even just be tired.

How do know that your guy friend likes you?

There is no surefire, 100% guaranteed way to know if someone likes you as more than a friend...and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying. There are, however, certain signs you can look for that will give you a pretty good idea if your friend or aquaintance is interested in being more than friends. Test his/her Personal Space Everyone has something called "personal space". It is like a bubble around us that we don't like people trespassing into. If someone gets too close, we instinctively move away, and if they get too close again we move away again. When we are attracted to someone that bubble dissapears. They can brush their thigh against ours while sitting close and we won't jerk our leg away, they can stand close and we won't step to the side, they can sit beside us on a long couch while watching a movie and we don't ask them to move over. We enjoy being close to those who we are attracted to and sometimes make excuses to do so.

So, the first step in gauging whether your friend is attracted to you is to get past their "personal space" and monitor their reaction. If they move away, heed it as a warning and don't try it again that day. Our personal space is a personal thing and many of us become annoyed if someone repeatedly invades it against our will. You can try this several times (over several days) and if he or she continues to move away as if by reflex, chances are, they are not attracted to you. This is not to stop you from trying the next test another time.

Observe Their Body Language Is your friend exhibiting flirtaseous behaviour with you? Do they find excuses to touch you, stand close, compliment you repeatedly on your appearance? Do their pupils dialate when they see you? It has been found scientifically that our pupils dialate when we are looking at someone we are attracted to. Although this is a good method, it is probably the most unreliable of all that are listed. This is because some people are natural flirts, they flirt with everyone, including their friends. Also, some people are very affectionate with their friends and that could be miscontrued as flirting.

Touch his/her Hand Another way to gauge if someone is attracted to you is to deliberately touch, or almost touch their hand. Try passing him or her something and hold it in a way that makes it difficult for them to take it without your hands touching. When they reach to take it, observe whether or not they expend any effort to touch the smallest surface area of your hand as possible. If they avoid touching your hand then it could mean that they want to avoid all physical contact with you. Take it as a good sign if they linger by your hand when they touch you. Better yet, are their hands sweaty?

You could also try placing your hand very near your friend's hand and watch to see if they move theirs away. If they are standing with a hand rested on a railing, stand next to them and rest your hand right beside theirs. If they are trying to program their VCR or CD player, help them and let your hand graze by theirs while you both play with the buttons. It would be a bad sign if they retracted their hand completely.

Watch for Changing or Strange Behaviour Does your friend seem unusually awkward or nervous around you? Are their hands shaky or sweaty? Do they avoid talking about other guys/girls, and seem very uninterested in hearing you talk about other guys/girls that you are interested in?

Are they suddenly complimenting you more than usual? Are they only letting their best side show? Is she spending more time getting ready than usual? Is he wearing his nicest clothes and cologne...things you've only see him do when going on a date with other women?

Listen to what they Say It sounds like a no brainer, but I am telling you anyway because when we like someone we tend to ignore any signs that they don't like us and really play up any signs that they do. If your friend is saying things similar to those below then they may have picked up on your interest and are subtly hinting back that they aren't interested in taking the friendship further.

"It is so nice to have a male/female friend who is just a friend."

"I really like this guy/girl from work, we went out last night...."

"There is a new guy/girl at school who I am really interested in. Can you give me some advice on striking up a conversation?"

"I'm so glad we can just be friends without getting physically involved, I see so many friendships ruined because they crossed that boundary."

"I have a friend who I'de like to set you up with, you guys would get along so well!"

How do you keep a secret from your best friend?

Dont......you should tell someone if you like them because you never know where it could take you. He might just like you too then you two will be happy together...if not then he is not a good friend.

NO. what you should do it HIDE it. if that's what you wanna do. i mean just don't COMPLETLEY fall all over him! but if you wanna take it that way then just act cute and flirty and see if he likes you backk. just don't globber him down with your love at first, you don't wanna ruin the friendship.

What is the dating age limits in the US?

The law protects minors from being sexually abused by adults. But if minors want to fool around with each other, that is not illegal (although some people will disapprove). Also think about what the term "dating" really means. If two people arrange to see each other on a particular date, they are dating. If they want to have dinner together, that is always legal, for anybody of any age. If they also want to have sex after dinner, then some legal restrictions do apply, and they vary by jurisdiction.

What do you do when you're nervous for a presentation?

For those of you looking for a two line answer... this isn't it. For those of you who are serious about reducing nervousness... thanks for taking the time.

Each semester when I start my classes people list fear or nervousness as the number one reason they are taking the class. While it's true that there is no replacement for practice -- I discourage my participants to memorize their speeches. You are likely being asked to speak about something you know well or are an expert in. But before we are able to speak from bullet points as I suggest... We need to deal with this pesky nervousness.

It's important to accept that nervousness is natural. It's a flight reflex (run away!) that is as old as time and likely has saved your distant ancestors from viscous animals.

The secret is that you want nervousness to a DEGREE but when nervousness causes the visceral reaction (panic) that you are experiencing it's because of a rush of adrenaline, a constriction of blood vessels... etc. When that occurs you become very fast, very aware, your pupils dilate... and unfortunately the communication centers in your brain all but shut down. (You can't talk a lion out of eating you.)

So... Now that we have the groundwork of how nervousness turns into a flight reflex... we can talk about how to manage it.

1. Develop a calming routine: When you are stuck in traffic, waiting in line, or just tense in general -- practice counting your breath. A breath in is one - out two - in three... etc. There's no goal in this exercise except to count. You're not trying to get to a certain number. What you are looking to do is recognize when other thoughts come into your head. When they do, accept that they are there and let them fade away. (You can imagine them getting smaller until they are gone, or just let them drift by on the river of thought.) If you've lost count, return to one. If not, pick up where you left off. Remember that there's no way to do this exercise incorrectly. Think of this as training for your brain. You'll find that as you count and are able to let those side thoughts go more quickly... The calmer you will be. Just like any sport, activity or skill... the more you practice the easier it gets. Eventually you calm down quite a lot in just a few breaths. Then you can sneak these breaths in while you are "looking at your notes." With practice you'll find that you can keep yourself in that healthy range of nervousness. Remember: Nervousness is simply a sign of what is important. (My participants find that after a few weeks of practice this exercise helps a great deal with their nervousness.)

2. When presenting your focus should be on your audience. Remember that you are there for them. Think about what they need to get out of the presentation. How will your presentation make their life better? What need are you serving for them? Just like in a great conversation -- when you focus on the other person you are able to convey your message clearly and easily. Don't be afraid to ask them questions. Engage them in the presentation. Remember that we are not running for them... they're not a lion... we can talk to them! If you are able to do these things (focus more on your audience) you have less time to think about yourself... and thinking about yourself is what causes nervousness.

3. Remember to be yourself. What does that mean, be yourself? It sounds stupid simple, right? Well, think about some of the best presenters you've seen. If you've had a chance to know them... they are almost always the same in real life as they are on stage. Yet often we put pressure on ourselves to be something we are not. We become overly formal, we don't look at people in the eyes... we don't connect with our audience. Imagine someone talking to you in real life who isn't looking in your eyes. What would you think of them? So... my advice... and this is both easier and harder than it sounds... is try to communicate with an audience in the same way you communicate with anyone. Unfortunately most training for presentation does just the opposite. Connect, ask questions, explain. You want to be yourself at your best... Confident... Happy... (Sometimes I tell my classes they should be themselves plus two drinks -- A little louder... a little outgoing.)

4. Think about what you WANT... not what you don't want. Think about it this way... Thinking about what you don't want is escape maintained behavior. Meaning you are trying to get away from something. Getting away = flight = nervousness.

Think about what you DO want. When you aren't running you can do what you do in every other conversation. Next time you go for a mile run, try to talk on the phone. ;) When you do have those thoughts like -- "I look stupid" or "Is my neck red" or "I just stumbled over that word" -- look at your notes. Take a few breaths. And count. If you've practiced this... You'll calm more quickly than you can imagine.

5. Promising yourself something you really want after you've presented is a great idea! Always reward yourself for doing something risky. Also, and no one wants to hear this, present as much as possible. The more you are in front of an audience, the more you practice managing that nervousness. I'm partial to Improvisation (that's because it's what I train with) but anything that gets you in front of an audience and nervous will do.

Many of my classes are 10 weeks long. People self report a 50 + % drop in nervousness. Although it's difficult to scientifically measure nervousness without taking cortisol measurements... a self reported 50% drop is not only fantastic progress but it also reduces nervousness to a level that is useful in a presentation.

There's a lot more that we talk about in my classes... but I've written too much already and my fingers are cramping. Take care! I know you'll do great.

Forest Guider

The Business of Improvisation

www.improvconsulting.com

How do you know if a guy likes your personality?

Quizz him on the long term relationship views. And Just hang out and talk he will show what his intentions are.

AnswerQuizz him on the long term relationship views. And Just hang out and talk he will show what his intentions are. AnswerThere is only one way to find out and that's to ask him out on a date.

Good luck

AnswerI have asked similar questions on here before and I have waited it out for months with a guyfriend of mine to see if I could finally tell by signs and actions if he was just one of those "friendly" guys or if it was deeper than that. So, finally after 8 months of coorespondence and time spent together ...all the conversations ...I got the guts to finally confess to him I had feelings and he in return has said he too has feelings. He's not admitting to being in love but he admitted to being attracted to and very emotionally attached to me. We're still feeling things out and starting to date but I realized that your intuition is to be trusted ...if you feel it's more you are probably right on some level but the only way to really know for sure is to ask.

How to be sure that a guy who wants your attention really likes you or is just playing games?

most likely he does.but don't forget other guys take the friend road and then probably start likeing their friends

Why he want to make you jealous?

It may appear that your boyfriend is very secure in nature, but by trying to make you jealous it actually screams out to you (or should) that he is indeed insecure! He wants to show-off to you that other women find him appealing, but the truth of the matter is I bet he makes the first move on a girl and she may think (when his back is turned) he's a real jerk. Sometimes at parties people have a little too much to drink or had some drugs and inhibitions run high. What they see in someone like your boyfriend at a party may differ if they are sober! Tell him that! When a couple are going together then they should treat each other with respect and if you don't expect this then you will never get it. Start standing on your own two legs girl and tell this guy to get off the pot or you're kicking him to the curb! He's being rude and arrogant.

What do you do if you love a girl but she doesn't care about me atall?

Well, if she doesn't care, I wouldn't wast my time on her. You should move on.

How long do you wait before texting a girl back?

Of course

If you like the guy don't answer right. Away and even if you didnt

But if you like him just try take the same time as him

But obviously if he takes 5 hours to reply you won't do the same cuz maybe the do was doin something and couldn't reply don't take it personal the duded has a life too

But iF he takes a lot to reply just replay back in like 15 or 20 minutes

Hope this helps

How can you let a guy know that you have feelings for him without actually telling him?

Coming from a guy, let me say that not ALL guys will pick up on subliminal messages you give us. Generally, what makes us start thinking that a girl likes us is when they laugh at everything we say no matter what and she asks questions about us. It doesn't even have to be THAT personal, it could be just as easy as asking what kind of food we like, sport we play, or anything like that. Do little things like that, and he'll get the message eventually.

How can a person get fired for no reason?

== == I'm going to assume that you live some where in the USA? Each state has it's own employment regulations, so you need to contact the state office that is responsible for employment law and it's application. In some US states, the law says that an employer does NOT need a reason to dismiss an employee. In other states, they do need a legal reason to do so. Find out what the law is in YOUR state.