Jokes and Riddles

Tickle your brain! Laugh and have some fun! If you know a great, non-offensive joke or riddle, this is the place for it!

Asked in Jokes and Riddles

Why are mr and mrs number so happy?

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they are going to have a little one
Asked in Jokes and Riddles

What do you have when twenty rabbits step backwards?

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When 20 rabbits step backwards, you would have a receding "hare" line.
Asked in Jokes and Riddles, Emotions

What do you call a person who doesn't laugh?

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It would depend on the reason they don't laugh. They might be sad, depressed, or may not have a very good sense of humor. Melancholic means sad, down in the dumps, or blue. They could also be cranky, gloomy, or cheerless.
Asked in Jokes and Riddles

How far can a bear walk into the woods?

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Half way; after that he is walking out of the woods.
Asked in Call of Duty, Jokes and Riddles

What are some funny Call of Duty jokes?

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Some of the funny ones are the ones you can look up, like the "you know you're addicted to Call of Duty when..." jokes. This is one example: you know you're addicted to Call of Duty when you go into your boss' office, pick up his suitcase, make some beeping noises, say "bomb disarmed", and throw it out the window. Hitler had 7 million kills and just 1 death. Guess what? he was a freaking CAMPER. Forum with Jokes on: http://www.callofduty.com/message/105819212
Asked in Jokes and Riddles

What did the picture say to the other picture?

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Pictures can't talk . Unfair - we've been hung, but we were framed!
Asked in Jokes and Riddles

What is considered the hardest riddle in the world?

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It's Apparently Still a Riddle... There seem to be various contenders for what is considered the hardest riddle in the world. Here are some brain-twisting responses from WikiAnswers contributors: 1) I turn polar bears white And I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee And girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid And normal people look like celebrities. I turn pancakes brown And make your champagne bubble. If you squeeze me, I'll pop. If you look at me, you'll pop. Can you answer this riddle? - 97% of Harvard graduates couldn't answer this, but 84% of kindergarten students could (in less than 6 minutes). Answer: The answer is "pressure," although some people have argued that the answer is "time" because it refers to the following poem. The simple answer is either Yes or No, because that is what the question literally asks, and kids would give up sooner. Time The time has come, winter is here and those yellow bears disappear. The time has past as man looks back with a sigh and a tear in his eye. As time is held boys cross their legs but of course the toilet begs As time marches on Girls loose their blush and swap a comb for their brush As time passes For those held high their end is nigh As time catches up Everyone is equal when we get to the final sequel As time turns Without it we have flour and water With it we have breakfast for my daughter As time revolves into something so fine As time runs out The more in a minute you try and squeeze the less you can do with ease. As time ticks All the time that has past man cannot comprehend something so vast. (See Related question.) 2) The Chicken Riddle If a chicken says, "All Chickens are liars" is the chicken telling the truth? Answer: Chickens can't talk! 3) Village of Truths/Village of Lies A man is traveling to a town and comes to a fork in the road. If he goes left, he goes to the liars' village. If he goes right, he then goes to the village of truths - which is where he wants to go. However, he does not know which way is which. He doesn't have time to go both routes, so he approaches a stranger who is standing in the middle of the fork. The stranger says he may only ask 3 questions and he will answer them. The man asks, "Are you from the village of truths?" The stranger says, "Yes!" However, the man is still facing a dilemma: If the stranger was from the village of truths he can only tell the truth, but if he was from the village of liars, he would say he was from the village of truth. So then he asks the stranger, "Are you telling the truth?" The stranger says, "Yes!" But sadly this leaves the man in the same position as before. Can you figure it out ? Answer: The man finally realizes that what he must do is ask the stranger the path back to his own village. If he was from village of truths, he takes him there. Even if he is from the village of liars, he will still take him to the village of truths. 4) What am I ? If you look you cannot see me. And if you see me you cannot see anything else. I can make anything you want happen, but later everything goes back to normal. What am I? Answer: Your imagination
Asked in Jokes and Riddles, Physics, Magnetism

What are the different shapes of magnets?

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Horseshoe, Bar, U, Ring, Circle, etc.
Asked in Jokes and Riddles

What does your mama's mama mean?

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your grandmother, sillynose.
Asked in France, Jokes and Riddles

How do you fry people?

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people, look, it means that you say or do something clever that is intended to be personally offended to the other person. Example: "Nice Halloween costume!" "Im not wearing a costume." "Oh, your face was so ugly that I couldent tell."
Asked in Jokes and Riddles

Why did the tree cross the road?

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1. To get away from the beavers? 2. It felt like leafing.
Asked in Humor & Amusement, Jokes and Riddles

What is the answer to the blue eyes riddle?

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The answer is that on the 100th day, all 100 blue-eyed people will leave. It's pretty convoluted logic and it took me a while to believe the solution, but here's a rough guide to how to get there. Note -- while the text of the puzzle is very carefully worded to be as clear and unambiguous as possible (thanks to countless discussions with confused readers), this solution is pretty thrown-together. It's correct, but the explanation/wording might not be the best. If you're really confused by something, let me know. If you consider the case of just one blue-eyed person on the island, you can show that he obviously leaves the first night, because he knows he's the only one the Guru could be talking about. He looks around and sees no one else, and knows he should leave. So: [THEOREM 1] If there is one blue-eyed person, he leaves the first night. If there are two blue-eyed people, they will each look at the other. They will each realize that "if I don't have blue eyes [HYPOTHESIS 1], then that guy is the only blue-eyed person. And if he's the only person, by THEOREM 1 he will leave tonight." They each wait and see, and when neither of them leave the first night, each realizes "My HYPOTHESIS 1 was incorrect. I must have blue eyes." And each leaves the second night. So: [THEOREM 2]: If there are two blue-eyed people on the island, they will each leave the 2nd night. If there are three blue-eyed people, each one will look at the other two and go through a process similar to the one above. Each considers the two possibilities -- "I have blue eyes" or "I don't have blue eyes." He will know that if he doesn't have blue eyes, there are only two blue-eyed people on the island -- the two he sees. So he can wait two nights, and if no one leaves, he knows he must have blue eyes -- THEOREM 2 says that if he didn't, the other guys would have left. When he sees that they didn't, he knows his eyes are blue. All three of them are doing this same process, so they all figure it out on day 3 and leave. This induction can continue all the way up to THEOREM 99, which each person on the island in the problem will of course know immediately. Then they'll each wait 99 days, see that the rest of the group hasn't gone anywhere, and on the 100th night, they all leave. Before you email me to argue or question: This solution is correct. My explanation may not be the clearest, and it's very difficult to wrap your head around (at least, it was for me), but the facts of it are accurate. I've talked the problem over with many logic/math professors, worked through it with students, and analyzed from a number of different angles. The answer is correct and proven, even if my explanations aren't as clear as they could be. If you're not convinced, you can contact me (info available on my website) for further discussion. If you're satisfied with this answer, here are a couple questions that may force you to further explore the structure of the puzzle: What is the quantified piece of information that the Guru provides that each person did not already have? Each person knows, from the beginning, that there are no less than 99 blue-eyed people on the island. How, then, is considering the 1 and 2-person cases relevant, if they can all rule them out immediately as possibilities? Why do they have to wait 99 nights if, on the first 98 or so of these nights, they're simply verifying something that they already know? These are just to give you something to think about if you enjoyed the main solution. They have answers, but please don't email me asking for them. They're meant to prompt thought on the solution, and each can be answered by considering the solution from the right angle, in the right terms. There's a different way to think of the solution involving hypotheticals inside hypotheticals, and it is much more concrete, if a little harder to discuss. But in it lies the key to answering the four questions above.
Asked in Math and Arithmetic, Jokes and Riddles

What can 9 8 and 7 go into?

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Seven, because seven eight nine (Seven ATE nine)! *If you multply 9, 8, and 7 (9*8*7) you get 504, which all go into evenly.