Here is one: Haggis, The organ meat Beautifully prepared Into the pigs stomach it goes To be baked And baked And baked But why eat it? It is only haggis, after all. Eat it if you Dare.

Answer:

The most famous poem, Burns Address to the Haggis, is well known and enjoyable.

Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,

Great chieftain o' the pudding-race!

Aboon them a' ye tak your place,

Painch, tripe, or thairm :

Weel are ye wordy o'a grace

As lang's my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,

Your hurdies like a distant hill,

Your pin wad help to mend a mill

In time o'need,

While thro' your pores the dews distil

Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,

An' cut you up wi' ready sleight,

Trenching your gushing entrails bright,

Like ony ditch;

And then, O what a glorious sight,

Warm-reekin', rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an' strive:

Deil tak the hindmost! on they drive,

Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve

Are bent like drums;

Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,

Bethankit! hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout

Or olio that wad staw a sow,

Or fricassee wad make her spew

Wi' perfect sconner,

Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view

On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,

As feckless as wither'd rash,

His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash;

His nieve a nit;

Thro' bloody flood or field to dash,

O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,

The trembling earth resounds his tread.

Clap in his walie nieve a blade,

He'll mak it whissle;

An' legs an' arms, an' heads will sned,

Like taps o' thrissle.

Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,

And dish them out their bill o' fare,

Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware

That jaups in luggies;

But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer

Gie her a haggis!

Haggis is a food dish, not an animal. Answer: Many tourists to Scotland, no doubt abetted by the Scots, are lead to believe that the Haggis is an animal. This is what they're told: Ahh ... the Haggis hunting ---- you may not be aware that the haggis lives only on the steep slopes of Scottish mountains which due to the basaltic and volcanic nature of their formation are almost perfectly cone shaped. Over the years they, the haggis not the mountains, have evolved into two related species the levo- and dextro- haggis. (This was reported in Scientific American or Nature magazine a few years back). The outcome is that the haggis have legs shorter on the left (levo) side or right (dexro) side to facilitate their walking around the mountain peaks in search of food (heather mostly) These traits bred true as only a dextro haggis male can approach a dextro haggis female from behind and the same for the levo.

So when it comes to hunting the beasts you must do it in damp weather when the slopes are damp and slippery. As you chase them, the haggis run forward but slip further and further down the mountains to the flatland at the bottoms of the mountains. On the flats their legs work against them and they fall to one side, ready to be harvested.

Obviously if hunted in the dry spells they have better traction and run up the cone shaped mountains in ever decreasing spirals until they disappear up their own behinds. Back to reality:

Haggis resembles stuffed intestines (pig intestines otherwise known as chitterlings or the kokoretsi of traditional Balkan cuisine), sausages and savoury puddings of which it is among the largest types. Basically a Haggis is made from all the parts of a sheep that cannot be sold to the English specifically the sheep's 'pluck' (heart, liver and lungs), with onion, oatmeal, suet, spices, and salt, mixed with stock, and traditionally boiled in the animal's stomach forabout three hours. Note that the lungs are traditionally included in Scotland, but are omitted in North America for reasons unknown.

As an aside the instruction in the recipe "Turn stomach inside out for stuffing." is an instruction for the cook and not the non-Scot confronted with the dish.

1 each: sheep's lung, stomach, heart, liver

* 1/2 lb fresh suet (kidney leaf fat is preferred)

* 3/4 cup oatmeal (real Scots cut meal)

* 3 onions, finely chopped

* 1 teaspoon salt

* 1 teaspoon freshly ground pepper

* 1/2 teaspoon cayenne

* 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

* 3/4 cup stock

Wash lungs and stomach well, rub with salt and rinse. Remove membranes and excess fat. Soak in cold salted water for several hours. Turn stomach inside out for stuffing.

Cover heart, lungs and liver with cold water. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, cover and simmer for 30 minutes. Chop heart and coarsely grate liver. Toast oatmeal in a skillet on top of the stove, stirring frequently, until golden. Combine all ingredients and mix well. Loosely pack mixture into stomach, about two-thirds full. Caution, oatmeal expands in cooking.

Press any air out of stomach and truss securely. Put into boiling water to cover. Simmer for 3 hours, uncovered, adding more water as needed to maintain water level. Prick stomach several times with a sharp needle when it begins to swell; this keeps the bag from bursting. Place on a hot platter, removing trussing strings. Serve with a spoon after piercing with a sgiandubh (a traditional Scottish Dagger). Usually served with "neeps, tatties and nips" -- mashed turnips, mashed potatoes, nips of whiskey after a rendition of Burns' "Ode to the Haggis." Answer: What a load of offal tripe. It does take guts to prepare a haggis. However, it does get to the heart of the matter.

Haggis eaters fall into several categories:

* Those that have never heard of it or had the chance to eat it

* Those that never eat it even given the opportunity

* Those that put it on their plates on Burns Night and other festive occasions and push it around (Wi perfect scunner) to make it look like they've eaten some. * Those that eat it on Burns Night and other festive occasions and eat it either timidly or with gusto ("Then, horn for horn, they stretch an' strive: Deil tak the hindmaist! on they drive, Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve, Are bent like drums")

* Those that eat it off and on during the year just because they like the taste.

So the answer is: never/when you must/when you can AnswerHaggis is only eaten during the proper shooting season. All other supposed so called haggis are impostors and should be avoided at all costs. Especially that unacceptable excuse for a meal vegetarian haggis.