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Abusive Relationships and Domestic Violence
An abusive relationship is a relationship in which a person is victim to the use or threat of being physically or psychologically abused. Here you can ask questions about abusive relationships such as how to spot it, and how to get yourself or others help.
3,885 Questions
Do abusive men get more abusive with new relationships?
Men who are abusive remain abusive. If they move on to another woman they are charming, and a chameleon (meaning: they change their colors to suit their needs.) It's like the "spider and the fly." Abusive men are extremely crafty and will appear to be the nicest guy you've ever met until he has you right where he wants you. Usually abusive men will alienate the woman from her family and friends and move to another section of town or preferably another city. They want complete control. They can't cover all their tracks and here are a few hints: Although it may seem charming, a man that orders your meal without asking you what you would like to eat or let you make your own choice is a controlling man. The way he talks about other women. He could say something as innocent as, "See that woman over there .... she's fat and ugly, but you .. wow! You're a babe!" Most women will consider that a compliment, but if a guy really cares about you and is not in the market for controlling you he would only have eyes for you and never make such a remark as the example I just gave you. Always boasting and bragging about himself (you can bet 1/3 of it is the real truth.) Feels uncomfortable even after he meets your family and starts to prefer not coming to your parents house; not to go out with your friends or have some of your friends over. Usually abusive men are loners and may have the odd buddy around, but they are not usually popular. Don't get this confused with a shy guy. Over-whelms you with his own masculinity, yet seldom asks about your hopes, dreams and feelings. Marcy The thing is he will be still angry at the past partner about losing control. Therefore the new person gets this added onto the nightmare
Yes it is because they are an abusive nature. They treated you like garbage, yet in their own twisted way they did care about you. Abusers are about control and even though he may be running all over town he doesn't like the idea of another guy having you and sure hates the thought you may have become independent and found someone you actually love. He's keeping an eye on you! If this abusive ex keeps turning up in too many places and bothers you in anyway it's called "harrassment or stalking" and you can never be too careful. There isn't much you can do if he turns up at a public place, but if he phones you, turns up where you live or bothers any of your friends you can nail his butt! Be careful! NEVER underestimate an abuser or a person of a quiet nature. They may fade off into the sunset and leave you alone, but many can come back and harm you and some, will even become so enraged they can attack and kill. Still waters run deep! I suggest you change where you hang out if they are place you both use to frequent. Good luck Marcy
Why do some wives stay with husbands who beat them?
Woman stay in abusive relationships for a number of reasons. These reasons could be fear, paranoia, worry, love, hope, and most of all they think the person will change. If someone is abusive they can change but you can't make them. Only they can change and some woman mistake the good moments for change. Some men tell woman they will change or they didn't mean it or even make them think they are over-exaggerating or even imagining it. Abusive relationships can be any type from physical to emotional to verbal. Women sometimes stay for fear of what might happen when they are in a new life. They might not want to leave because the situation is so familiar to them. They might be afraid to leave. They also might have children and don't want to subject them to a life without one parent present or the life of running and hiding. But leaving is not running or hiding. It doesn't have to be. If a woman or even a man is in an abusive relationship they might feel like there is no help or they can't leave or they have no where to go. It depends on the situation. Are you in a situation where you need help? There are people who will help.
Violence is not always bad. Nor is it always good. Violence is one of those things that is always dependent on the situation in which it is being applied. For example, members of the police and the military are taught to use violence to stop criminals and vicious terrorist organizations all over the world. Those situations are perfectly appropriate and healthy for using violence. Martial arts students are also taught to use violent means to defend both themselves and others from a person who wishes to hurt them, their friends, their family, or other innocent persons. All of these mentioned situations demonstrate that those who would use violence to harm others can only be effectively stopped through violence as well. Talking and negotiation will solve nothing before they are stopped. Hitler was stopped through an insane amount of violence. Necessary, healthy, applied violence. That is why violence can be a good thing in specific situations.
What should you do about a friend who is being mentally and verbally abused?
Why would you call someone who is "emotionally and verbally abusive" - your "friend"? Abusers cannot be friends because they lack empathy and the ability to truly love someone else or relate to others!
To sexually abuse a child means that an adult uses a child for sexual stimulation. It involves presuring a child to take part in it. 90 precent of child sexual abused know the person who did it to them. Most of all sexually abused child will end up abusing their own children. 1 in 3 girls are abused before the age of 19. Also 1 in 5 boys are abused before the age of 19.
Why are men so mean to nice women?
Sometimes guys treat women like nothing because sometimes the man is too blind to see that the right girl is right in front of them.
A:These types of men have a "Narcissistic Complex", and only look at themselves and what they want as having any value, they often have a mellifluous approach to women offering everything and giving nothing, in essence they are the users of society and can offer little or nothing to a relationship, trust comes with sustained action.How does domestic violence affect a family?
domestic violence affect families in so many ways, families are a reflection of their parents. the parents have to give an example of respect to their women, thats why theres so many violence in our country, because kids feel lonly and get influence by other cultures very easly,
Why do I keep dreaming I am beating up my girlfriend?
Answer
Maybe you have someaggression or anger that has built up over time and hasn't been resolved in some way. Just something for thought.Regardless of what is going on with that dream, I do not think this kind of dream is normal and I think there might be something unresolved with you that needs to be addressed for your own good. Hopefully, you will never act on that dream.
Can you sue ex husband for mental abuse?
I wouldn't use that for a divorce reason etc...but I would seperately sue my husband in a heartbeat... Extremely cruel and warped behaviors..that have had horrible results....and caused extreme emotional damages... These pukes have got to own up to this sick warped crap...and sueing is darn good idea....in My Opinion!
Why are children physical and emotional abused?
It all comes down to the Golden Rule: Treat others as you would have others treat you. In other words, if you beat someone, you need to expect and accept that someone will beat you.
Because beating hurts.
Because if your child goes to school and tells a teacher about it,then the teacher will call DCF and your child will be taken away to foster care and you could get arested for assulting a child
I have a good answer.
Kind of.
There are so many reasons why parents shouldn't beat their children- assuming those parents want their children to become healthy and happy and what not. If the parents want their kids to suffer- beating them is probably a good idea. It's hard for me to explain why kids suffer when their parents physically abuse them. For one thing it causes the abused child to find ways to cope with the issue, and often the child adapts behaviors that don't help to create a good life, such as becoming afraid of people. There's a relatively complex psychological explanation, but it's actually a loaded question- as in there is a lot of room for discussion of the answer. So if you really want a decent answer for this question, read some books. Maybe a red book I've looked into before called Bradshaw on: The Family. Or some other books about psychology and childhood.
Additional answer
Firstly, the third answer from the top does not suggest why it's wrong to beat kids - just that you don't want to get caught doing it!! Weird!
Secondly, I've not seen the slightest evidence that slapping a child is bad for it. When people talk of beating they make it sound as though you are setting about the child with clubs. That IS bad. But a slap ain't.
Why do women like guys who treat them like garbage?
Girls usually go back to guys that treat them like dirt because they are really hott or it is their first love. Most girls don't really know that they are being treated badly at all. I have been in one of these kind of relationships before. It was my first love and he treated me like trash. I only stayed with him because he made me feel special and cool. I didn't think that I would be cool anymore if I wasn't with him. Most girls feel this way or they think that nobody else would go out with them so they stay in their bad relationship. Even if they like someone else they might stay in their relationship because they think that the other person won't like them or that all relationships are like this. THEY ARE DEAD WRONG! Relationships are supposed to be fun. Don''t be caught where you don't want to be or catch anyone where they don't want to be. AND for all of you guys out there...don't ever hurt a girl.. physically or emotionally. Girls take what guys say REALLY PERSONALLY and they take it straight to heart.
Can an emotionally abusive partner really be in love with you?
Abusers and their victims form dyad's of codependency. It takes two to tango and an equal number to sustain a long term abusive relationship. The abuser and the abused form a bond, a dynamic, and a dependence. Expressions such as "follies a deux", "shared psychosis", and the "Stockholm Syndrome" capture facets two of a myriad of this danse macabre. It often ends fatally. It is always an excruciatingly painful affair.
Being a great believer in common sense and having been in the same situation for many years, I think the answer here is very obvious. Would you allow your self to be abused by someone who didn't matter to you?
YES, THE ABUSED CAN AND OFTEN DOES LOVE THE ABUSER. THEY KNOW THAT HE CAN BE A GOOD PERSON.
See "Stockholm Syndrome".
It's not genuine love - it's a psychological yearning based on fear and control. There is no sound reason to really love an abuser - you can have compassion for them - but not the kind of love that motivates you to stay in a relationship with someone who treats you like crap.
How are children affected that witness domestic violence?
Children who witness spousal abuse are being terrorized. The effects of such witnessing are every bit the same, and then some, if they were the ones being physically abused. See the link supplied for more information about witnessing abuse.
What do you do if you are carjacked?
If the carjacker is threatining you out, go out at that moment and if he just drove away, wait for him to get out of sight, and call the cops, tell your exact car, for example, "I have a dark grey, 2003 Pontiac Montana minivan, with a black bumper, a bug deflector, mud-guards, tinted windows, and the model is "Sport", and it has a bumper sticker". If the jacker points a gun at you, sits in the car, and says "Drive or I'll blow you head off", drive immediatly and do not resist or secream. Then, stop where he wants and if he gets out, nail the gas and go away as fast as ever, but do not go to a place like a forest, desert or any abandoned place, you know he might kill you.....So, at any cost, do what he tells, at least not anything bad like a drive-by or killing anyone, or if he wants the keys to the car, give them, but then call the police as fast as you can. Cheers.......
If you mean as in read Books i can give you a few answers:
1. enjoyment
2. to fill time
3. to broaden their minds
4. to be different
5. because they are made to
How can you get courage to leave an abusive spouse?
just tell your self that u need to leave and that you want to leave and as you say it every day you will get the mental courage to leave i swear on it that you will... iv tryed it so many times!!!!!
Perhaps this is a question only you can answer yourself. Perhaps you don't pay her much attention and she might be looking for someone who will. Ask yourself what happened between the two of you recently? This may have been coming for a while - but you can almost entirely rule out the thought that it was a spur of the moment decision. Females are very sensitive - and it may be the smallest thing you did that she blew out of proportion in her mind - which was the deciding factor. Talk to her if you can - the relationship may not be saved - but closure for both of you is very important. It will also help you both learn from the situation.
Why has female violence increase?
Most likely because of the stock market. People are robbing, and hurting for money.
There is a misperception about the increase of crime in general. The clouded notion that crime is increasing ( crime rate ) is due to that fact that human populations continue to increase, all the while media coverage of events also increases.
The worlds' population is excessively larger than it was in previous years ( lets say the early 20th century). Due to this increase, the "number" of crimes is most certainly going to rise. BUT. One forgets that the "number" of crimes doesn't in itself uphold any significance and it is in fact the "crime rate" that one should be wary of. AND, it is this "crime rate" that we shall look at.
"A Statistics Canada study released Tuesday shows the rate and severity of police-reported crime fell by about about 3% in 2009 - to a total of 2.2 million crimes. That's about 17% lower than a decade ago."
Media coverage of criminal negligence has certainly increased, due to news networks that can reach out to wider audiences; be it through newspapers, radio broadcasting, television reports, internet news sites, etc.
What actions are being taken to solve gun violence?
The government must enact a law which strictly prohibit bringing guns outside anybodies residential home. Guns must be regulated through licensing it. So much so that you can be put to prison if you illegally possess or carrying it without any permit to carry your gun. Guns must be regulated, it must licensed only to persons who are healthy neurologically. Likewise, with the caliber of the gun, high caliber guns must be strictly prohibited for individual use.
love can come at any time. you have to be mature enough to handle it though. tempations can get in the way and you may think its love but its really not. you also have to be smart about love. boundaries, meaning age, in my perspective it does and doesnt at the same time. too many years apart while being a teen or in the 20's does. but other than that not really. this is because the older person may have more freedom and that can get in the way of things. too much age difference can be a problem.
Do controlling and verbally abusive men change?
I'm sorry dear, but my answer to that question is a big NO, trust me I have experience in this department. A little embarrased to say but have been trhough it a few times. You are the one that may need the help and get away from somebody that is doing this to you. It has nothing to do with you and don't let him let you think that. It's all about him. Move on honey. You deserve better
How many years does it take to move on after an abusive relationship?
The time it takes to heal and move on from an abusive relations depends on the person and other factors. Here are some personal experiences and advice:
- I was in an abusive relationship/marriage for over 10 years. I think it depends on the person, the type(s) of abuse, and the length of the relationship.It takes time to unlearn our learned responses, to realize that not all men are abusive, and it takes time to get our sense of self-worth and self-esteem back. Although I'm in a healthy relationship now, I'm still dealing with the repercussions of the abusive one.It helps to have people to talk to. A therapist, a best friend, or just people who understand how you feel. I don't think there is a set length of time. But at some point we have to try to move on and live life again, the best we can.
- Go easy on yourself. The healing process can and does last years. An abusive relationship is traumatizing.
- I was in an abusive relationship. I loved the woman but her rages were frequent, and both cruel and ugly. I determined she had BPD (not bipolar, borderline personality disorder). I considered her rages to be a mental disorder and despite separating from her I would go back to spending time with her, and be hurt more. Almost 3 years passed and I was still grieving the loss and licking my wounds. I'd already read a spate of books like Peter McWilliams "How to Survive the Loss of a Love" and other books on how to deal with an abusive companion--how to set boundaries, etc. So I found a therapist and worked mightily for 3 months and I finally recovered. I really guided my own therapy. The key to success for me was unexpected: self esteem work. The path I took is very similar to that what Phil McGraw directs readers to take in his popular book "Self Matters." The pain one suffers may be proportional to the love one had. If you're still having severe bouts of emotional anguish after three years, still hurting deeply from a sense of betrayal, and still in pain from certain cruel actions, then maybe there are some issues within yourself that merit attention. A strange thing happened to me from all the research I did. As I came to understand her better, as well as myself, and as I resolved some self esteem issues, I found that I loved her even more, while at the same time I was no longer hurt by her. And could protect myself. Now my three sons as well as my friends are puzzled that I can love both my ex-wife and psycho-bit**, the drama queen supreme, as much as I do. I was able to care for drama queen in the last six months of her life when no one else would. Learn to develop a greater internal locus of control. You can stop shedding so many tears over a past abusive relationship, but you must take responsibility for affecting the change yourself. You might start with Phil McGraw's book. But commit to working it 110%. Good luck! (I'm giving you a virtual hug here.) --Jim
- After being in a very abusive relationship for 6 years, I have decided it will take me 6 years to completely heal without entering into a new relationship with a lot of emotional baggage. Sure, if the right guy came along then I wouldn't run away, but I figure I have given up 6 years of my life to my ex-husband so now it is time to focus exclusively on me and my children, SO, in the past 3 years, I have graduated from college, played with the kids and made new friends, all without fear and unhappiness. I think that is where many woman make mistakes(I used to be one)that women are so afraid to be alone that they enter into an abusive relationship before they are even ready to date. It's up to us, the survivors, to educate and end the cycle of abuse for ourselves, our children and victims everywhere! I HAVE FINALLY FOUND ME!
- I suppose it depends on the person, but experts say it can take at least 7 years. I would have to agree. After my first abusive relationship, i couldn't bear to be alone, so quickly got into another one, then another one and so on. We have to give ourselves a long time to heal. We cant always see the wood for the trees when we have been abused. Good luck!
- I'm 21 years old and i have been out of the relationship for about a year now. i thought that when i finally got out that it meant that i was strong enough and that i was going to be okay. i was wrong. i am still dealing with the affects of what happened and i cant maintain a relationship today. Every time Ii meet a new guy i scare him away due to me needing to be validated and yearning for his attention constantly. i didn't realize that until recently that i have issues with in myself that i need to take care of. I didn't realize how far my ex had broken me down. I'm going to be put on some anti-depressants and anxiety medication. when i went to my therapist he asked me that if my ex said that he was "all better" and "got help" would i take him back? I looked at him with tear filled eyes and said yes. It was at that moment i realized that i needed more help then i thought.i am scared at what im going to have to face but in the end what am i going to lose? i can only get stronger from this. Hopefully i will learn and be able to have a real relationship one day.
- Moving on is a process that we must work at everyday for the rest of our lives. Change comes with time and awareness. I've personally been in weekly therapy for the past 2 years. Coming our of shock and denial is enough to through anyone off there feet for a period of overwhelming face to face with a real night mare.It takes courage and support and a lot of work to understand what we need to be aware of before we can change our survival habits.I am recovering from a 24 year narcissism partner abuse.I raised 2 children who are now healthy adults. I saved my kids and I saved myself. Had not left I would not be answering this question today.We can't predict the future nor have a date for moving on. We can only live life one day at a time and learn to trust ourselves and set our boundaries.If we can only try to live our lives to the best of our satisfaction and risk the chance of being loved for who we are. Time, awareness and patience with ourselves while we make little steps to rediscovering who we are. Finding a good therapist who is willing to accompany us through the stages of healing over and over as we finally reach a point of integration and continue to help us for as long as we need it.Remember if we take medication it only does 20% of the work. The other 80% is what we work at everyday with the help of our therapist. We can't change the past but we can change ourselves to the best of who we are no more no less. I hope this answer will be helpful to anyone still suffering the aftermath of abuse and I wish everyone the courage to FEEL.Connecting with nature is a great way of connecting with ourselves and something greater than who we are. God Bless Jocelyne
- It is has been nearly three years for me. No justice Just further lies & abuse. I decided yesterday that i will seek professional counseling to help me overcome my deep feelings of justifiable rage and anger. I have too much to lose in my life and future and realize if I don't get help to get myself back not so much to forgive these people but to recover myself I may lose all of my dreams.
- 14 years have passed and I am up tonight because I am haunted by that man. It is only from the will of God that I am alive today and my children are OK. I have three big dogs, moved to a new state and I am going to put up video cameras as soon as I get the money. As for me healing I know I can�t do it myself and do not have the money to seek help. So the hell I will relive for the rest of my days.
What might dating violence consist of?
Yelling usually
Answer
Threatening you, pushing or hitting, threatening to harm you in any way. Bullying is an act of violence too. Don't ever put up with it. Get away and stay away from someone like that and other things are meeting over the internet that's very dangerous.
How do you write a informal letter?
Some of the features of informal letters are they often do not include the date or a return address, the body content may be longer with less attention paid to formatting or grammar, and the closing is informal such as â??loveâ?? or â??take careâ?? Â written before the signed name. Formal letters often are more concise, contain return contact information and a date, and use formal greetings and closing salutations.
