Abusive Relationships and Domestic Violence

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They don't. This is not a normal behavior in sexual, or other aspects, of a relationship. If the two of you agree that this is something you want in your sexual play, that is your perrogative, but BOTH PARTIES must agree to it and there must always be a SAFE WORD if the sexual play becomes a problem. NEVER submit to elements of S&M in sex unless you feel 100% comfortable doing so and you both agree to stop when the safe word it spoken.

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when the sky is clear and sunny

According to Newton's third law of motion, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. This means that when one object exerts a force on another object, the second object exerts an equal force in the opposite direction on the first object. These pairs of forces are known as action-reaction force pairs.

Every thought that comes in our mind when we are left alone in the desert, and we dont have anything that we need is non living thing after sand.

Air is a mixture of gases, primarily nitrogen (about 78%), oxygen (about 21%), and trace amounts of other gases. It is colorless, odorless, and tasteless, and plays a vital role in sustaining life on Earth by providing oxygen for respiration and regulating the Earth's temperature through the greenhouse effect.

when your partner goes to work pack everything up and leave That is NOT love, it is an abusive relationship and you KNOW deep inside you deserve better. You CAN and WILL survive without him, you CAN and WILL be free and you CAN and WILL live without him. Contact a refuge or an expert for confidential advice, they can set you up in a safe house. Don't wait until its too late.

Abuse always starts with ill-words.

No spouse like to be treated such way.

The way your spouse is paying you back to what you did to her is the level of how HURT she felt.

Now all you need is patience. And start communicating, in the most mature way.

Stop using ill-words, not even to yourself, then you will learn to respect anyone in your entourage, mostly your wife, you love her don't you, so you should protect her, but not be the one who harm her.

Harming is not only physical but also psychological and emotional, which leaves scars as huge as a knife can.

statistically its in the thousands nation wide. but so many go unreported every year. if you or someone you know have been or are a victim of abuse you need to report it immediately. someone's life could be at stake. Marjoree Mason, the founder of the Marjoree Mason Center for Abused women and children was herself a victim of domestic violence.

With a shovel to the head once they are asleep. If you are in a violent relationship and you still want to try and make it work. Try to sit them down and talk things in an adult manner. Explain that you care for them and want to work things out. Try to remember though if someone loves you they wouldn't want to hurt you. Try to seek counseling to gain the strength to leave if things aren't better. Speaking to family and/or close friends for support and advice. Deep in your heart no matter how hard it may seem at the time, you know you are better off out of that environment. I suggest listening to Miranda Lambert's song "Gunpowder and Lead" for a great idea. I personally lived this experience. I suggest you find that person and talk to her/him alone. This person may actually love you back.

!One thing that is important, don't retaliate in kind. The person probably believes that hitting is somehow okay/justified and to hit back is to show them that it is. Try to get the person to communicate with their words rather than with violence. And remember to take care of yourself. If it's not a safe environment then get out of there.

It's best to turn your back and try to not think of him/her at all. You'll remember stuff anyway and if you were hurt it might be good to remember that so that you'll avoid someone who might do that to you in the future. Most relationships start out with good intentions and there are some good memories, but either a calculated effort by an abuser, narcissist or people simply falling out of love there can be many heartaches. It's the good memories we choose to remember because at the moment the person that has been abused or their partner has fallen out of love with them or cheated on them, feels they didn't quite put 100% into the relationship and can often blame themselves for what their ex partner has done and that's because their abuser or narcissist partner has planted this seed into their victim's mind. In time, once the grieving is over the rejected person or the one that got away from their abuser will realize they did nothing wrong. I have noticed even when there is a relative that passes on that hasn't always been all that great in the family and the center of the family grapevine, that when that person passes on it's amazing how people can cry over the loss of that person they never really liked in the first place and will even make a lengthy eulogy regarding the deceased as to what a great person they were. It's because most of us were brought up to not talk ill of the dead. Grief is not reserved for the loss of a loved one or even a dear pet, but grief can hit all of us when a relationship has turned sour or a human suffers any trauma. Go with the flow, but don't sit alone too long crying over it because he/she was simply not worth the skin they were in and the chances of them changing is nil! Narcissists are ego-maniacal, selfish, controlling, and although they can love it frustrates them that they actually know their type of love is different from others, but like a runaway locomotive they simply keep going in the style they are comfortable with and want to maintain that control at all times. THEY actually fear they will become weak if they show any signs of affection and most of all they fear they simply aren't good enough for others so they appear arrogant, down their victim and they are often highly intelligent people, but haven't learned to rein it in and use that intelligence for good use. Good for you for taking this big step and I know it wasn't easy, but you just saved yourself a load of misery and you've managed to save the best years of your life for yourself and eventually will meet someone else that is not controlling and gives back what you give them. Good luck!

a sudden reason to be nice. they'll try to get you back under their control by acting as if they're sorry. my advice, if you are or were getting abused, just report them so they can never hurt you or anyone else again. look for numbers of hotlines. peace!

I could be. Physical abuse is the battery of another person. Emotional abuse, often just as devestating, is the domination and intimidation of another person and often eats away at their self confidence. No one should treat another person in the way you describe your husband treating you. He may need some anger management therapy; often anger is only an outward expression of inner pain, meaning that there may be some underlying issues you husband should address so that his emotions don't manifest as angry outbursts toward loved ones. Whatever the case, you shouldn't have to stand for being mistreated. Emotional abuse can turn into physical abuse in one second; get the help you need for your mairriage. Good luck. How do you define "Physically Aggressive'" ??? Is that grabbing , pushing shoving, Etc ????

The answer to this question depends on many factors: the intensity, type and duration of the abuse; the age and education of both members of the couple; the motivation of both parties; the cultural and social background and a lot more.

Some relationships can be salvaged - but only with big doses of professional help (therapy, anger management classes, medication).

This is the website: www.farrakhanfactor.com The owner is Jason. C. Muhammad a.k.a Godson. My personal private calls to include my credit cards and security number is aired without my permission to be heard by rapist, child molesters, drug addicts, convicts, murders, thieves, wife beaters, misogynist and religious destructive cult fanatics in a plot to further exploit and prostitute me before a community that has used and abused me and stole my work and attempted to make me feel stupid and inferior after doing so. How can I seek legal recourse and protect myself and my family??

You don't! You need a plan and this is a good way: Contact your local "Abused Women's Center" (and if you can't find one go to your local Mental Health Clinic and they will lead you in the right direction.) Make an appointment to see a counselor there and tell them your story. PHONE FROM A PAY PHONE OR CELL PHONE. They basically set things up for you and give you a "safe place" to stay, while also giving you psychological counseling and legal counsel if necessary. If you have children take them with you! When you have accomplished that, then say ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO YOUR ABUSER OR ANY FAMILY MEMBER OR FRIENDS. You can contact family and just one trusted friend while in the "safe house" and you should, or they'll be worried sick about you. NEVER, BUT NEVER tell them where this safe house is because if the counselors finds out you will be kicked out! Pack a bag (taking only what is necessary) and hide it. Leave no phone messages that can be traced and delete EVERYTHING on your computer where you have been discussing your feelings or actions re the abuser. The reason you need counseling is you are a "victim." Yes, that's right! Abusers control their victims and take their dignity and self esteem away from them. I can't tell you how proud of you I am, that you are taking this big step to get away from your abuser. The true test is ... staying away from him or choosing another partner who is also an abuser. You may think you aren't going to go back and that no, you aren't going to chose another guy that will abuse you, but the percentages out there speak the truth. Over 85% of women go back to their abusers for several different reasons. You need to build your self confidence up and also realize the strengths within yourself and this is where the counseling service comes in. They will give you tools to live by. You will also meet other women in your predicament. If you think you are alone, you are not. There is an extremely high number of women abused out there, and the first step to having a good life is the one you are taking right now. Good luck God Bless Marcy

A person who has been sexually abused as a child doesn't even realize the damage has already occured mentally. Either the child will keep this abuse a secret or if the family should find out it is kept secret. Either way the child usually never wins and is never sent for psychological treatment in their younger years. Sexually abused people live as if there is a hollow in the pit of their very soul and sometimes it takes years to surface. They never really get over it, but with psychological counselling they can certainly live normal lives. Sexually abused people are also very guarded (to protect themselves) and thus, they may come off as being narcissistic, but they really aren't. They seldom mean to hurt others, but because of their sexual abuse they usually can't find a happy medium with a sexual partner. Trust is a big issue here. Marcy When you know better, you do better. If he's dealing with his past, there is no reason to continue the bad behavior in the present or the future. Tell him to keep it in his pants or dump him. It's just an excuse, not a reason if he keeps on cheating on you.

All hell breaks loose! An abuser wants constant control in order to control the environment around them (they feel safer.) Putting two abusers together is one giant tug-of-war not to mention being dangerous is a bad idea. Both parties should seek psychological help for their abuse problems. Marcy

It is not an easy task. Unfortunately, there is no prescription to fit all situations. It depends on your strengths, weaknesses and support systems. Sometimes it requires professional help (therapy) to start you off on the path that is right for you as an individual.

First, you have to have time out for yourself and get to know yourself. You are a strong person and you have to realize that. Once you do (with the help of psychiatrist) then you're ready to go on with your life and onto healthy relationships. Don't ever let anyone drag you down to their level. You're stronger than you think.

They feel they have power (king) if they have control over one that is more timid, or smaller, more fragile than him/herself. It is more likely for this to happen if the abuser was him/herself abused prior to their current mindset. The first obvious answer is "because otherwise they wouldn't have a victim", but there is no one reason, not even that one. Some need to control in response to some kind of inner sadism, which seems to sometimes be an abberative drive like pedophillia, unrelated to trauma. Many need to have control because the alternative is to be afraid. Some abusers see the world as a hostile, dangerous place. They seek to control it in order to avoid the threats that they believe lurk everywhere. Many abusers fear intimacy (for a variety of reasons). By controlling their partners and the relationship, they "calibrate" how close they get. Other abusers are narcissists or sadists and enjoy exerting power over others.

I've had that happen to me many times in my previous abusive relationship.Every single time they made me feel as if i was the one to blame to the point that i was beginning to think that i was going crazy! After some time i realized that it wasnt me.Also the isolation required from my partner contributed and aided this abusive behavior.

That is the exact MO of an abuser. I too was in an abusive relationship and heard those exact words your questioned. Like the person who also answered this question...I too thought I was the one to blame and was being to think I was crazy. That, however, is part of the ploy.

Red flag!!!! Leave and don't look back.

My husband is verbally abusive and physically abusive. We are separated because of a protective order. In his opinion, I provoked him to call me a "f*cking bi*ch", and other vile names. He says that I just can't let it go and stop talking. He says that my mouth gets me in trouble. He says if I just shut up everything will be fine. So yes to answer your question, verbal abusers project everything on to you when you confront them, tell you that you pushed them too far and that you are the cause of their behavior. They never take responsibility for their behavior, it is always everybody else's fault. In my case it is the courts, the DA and police, and finally his crazy, irrational wife. Although it is really hard to hear the things that a husband or significant other, who supposedly loved you said to you, you also have to realize that he won't change. And you need to take control of your own life. It only makes us stronger. If you have a chance please read: Verbally Abusive Relationships, and Controlling People by Patricia Evans. Also see her web site: http://www.verbalabuse.com/2.shtml

Yes. That's part of their "trap" that they set to bait you in. I dated someone that did this all the time. Most abusers, like my ex, fear confrontation because they know they will lose. To better arm themselves when they are forced to confront, they revise things and blame you for everything so they can railroad the discussion and avoid the blame being all on them, even they know they deserve it. If they'd only channel their energies to something more positive in life..........

You can't share premises with a physically violent abuser (batterer) and avoid harm altogether.

You can either confront him (usually involving the police and the courts), succumb to his demands (short term, inefficient, and counterproductive solution), or contract with him (which works intermittently).

Get items that cannot be replaced (photos, heirlooms, cherished Christmas ornaments, anything with sentimental value) out of the house and into either a storage unit or a friend or relative's house. This will take away much of the emotional involved in N's threats to destroy these items and help you focus on YOU and your own safety during confrontation. Keep a cell phone charged and on your person at all times when home with the N. Get a voice activated mini-recorder. Use it when N rages, and at least let N see that you have it. Mention (lie if you have to) that the last time he threatened to "[repeat some threat N made to harm you]" you got it on tape and will not hesitate to call the police and have him removed from the house should he get out of line.

The answers to this question vary as much as the degrees of the abuser's feeling of safety in doing harm or the depth of his fear. I am presently involved in this situation. Mr.B.'s fear is that society will learn he is not the man he portrays himself to be in the public eye. While I was submissive and tried for years to explain the effect his behavior had on me, now, I'm verbally combative any time he attempts to get my attention. I try to keep him confused and off-balance. He doesn't know the "safe" approach. He is confused about this new person and he fears that I'll focus the public eye on the reasons for my exit. Where I contributed to his N supply before, today I focus on diminishing his power in exactly the opposite way, in order to make the experience so totally in contrasting opposition to my normal behavior, that he has become very wary of what I might say next...or to whom. He's in unfamiliar territory. He suspects I may be capable of emulating his behavior back at him. As long as he is confused and unsure of his own safety, my bluff keeps him away from me. It's a downhome bluffing remedy. Baffle them and keep them off guard until you get out the door. Intimate exposure of their true self without directly stating a threat...which would foster competition and a real battle. I am challenging his bravado and depending on his real cowardice to get me through the next few weeks. So far, it's working to my advantage.

There are too many variables in such cases to give any single answer. It depends on the severity, the resilience of the victim, whether or not it caused Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, if the victim received competent and timely therapy or not, etc.

Some victims might recover in a few months after getting away from the situation, some victims may take decades to recover, and some may never completely recover.

We just had a question on this site asking "How do you tell your brother to calm down?" which was answered in some detail, beginning with the statement that it is emotional abuse to tell someone to calm down. So it would seem that if someone is telling others to calm down, you could cite that answer, or ask them to look it up themselves under the exact working that I have quoted. Of course, people will not necessarily be convinced, just by reading something on the internet, however, it is still better to be able to refer someone to a published opinion rather than just your own opinion.