Custody

"There is, to my knowledge, no specific law governing that," said Steuben County, Indiana Sheriff Rick Lewis. "I know some parents think it's OK to leavechildren who are 10 years old home alone. I feel strongly that a 10-year-old child is not old enough to be left unsupervised." There are very few states in the U.S. with legal minimum ages for children home alone, but many state agencies have published guidelines. Georgia, Illiniois, Maryland and Oregon are a few of the states with specific ages specified in their laws.

12 years of age appears to be the most common recommendation. Below in Related Links is an article entitled Home Alone Children Legal Age Limits which provides one guideline from a California agency representative who suggests that 8 year olds and over can be left at home for up to several hours (usually after school before a parent gets home from work). This site also provides a state by state comparison with references including a link to the citation above.

This is an issue that's frequently brought up, along with the right to choose what parent they wish to live with.

This issue particularly arises as children enter their teen years. They don't want to be required to spend time with a parent, either parent. They think of themselves as almost adults, and thus can make their own decisions.

Let me start with the view on one teen on Joint Physical Custody.

Equal Time - A Teen's Views On Joint Custody

How I divide my life between my divorced parents' homes.

By Charlotte Juerge - Newsweek - Dec 15, 2008

See Link Below

"My parents divorced when I was 2 years old. Because I was so young, I cannot remember anything of how the divorce actually felt at the time. But 12 years later, I am quite content with my life and my parents. Unlike many divorced couples with children, neither parent has primary custody of me, but rather, I switch between my parents' houses every other day, spending roughly equal time with my mother and my father. "

For younger children, the argument can be postulated that Parental Alienation may be involved. This is a controversial issue with arguments presented on both sides, but cases involving child abductions where the abductor simply wanted a child, has shown how easy it is to alienate a child, from both parents. But, even teens can be alienated from a parent, or both parents.

Mom Loses Custody For Alienating Dad

Ruling a 'wake-up call' for parents who use kids to punish ex-partners

See Link Below

Parental Alienation Syndrome - The Gregory Mantell Show

See Link Below

A Child's Choice: What Is The Right Age For A Child To Choose Which Parent To Live With? See link below

The main issue here is not their right in choosing to spend time with the other parent, but their right to ignore and dishonor the authority of the family court. One has to wonder how many males that ignore child support orders were raised to believe it okay to ignore any family court orders, which includes the visitation orders?

If a child, whether by choice or through the influence of a primary parent, doesn't wish to spend time with the other parent, this issue has to be first brought before the court for consideration. The child can explain to the judge, outside the presence of either parent, why they feel it's in their own best interest as to why they no longer have a need for the parental influence of the separated parent?

There are reasons for the need of two parents, but if the child(ren) are getting tired of switching homes, perhaps it's time for the parent to be doing the switching.

This is what I suggest to the kids faced with choosing which parent to live with.

As an alternative, why not ask for Joint Physical Custody Of Your Parents?

Tell them that you want to remain in a home, and each of them there for three weeks, than switch. Once night a week, the parent not in residence takes you out to dinner or some other activity. While in the home, the resident parent does not date, or have overnight guests, other than relatives.

On the off weeks, the parent rents a room, stays with relatives, their friends, or they can split the cost of a two bedroom apartment, with each having their own bedroom.

The priority here is you not having your life disrupted by their choice not to be together. Their lives are equally disrupted and they split the cost of your home.

The support amounts each parent are obligated to provide for your care can go into a TRUST FUND. From the trust fund, expenses for the home and your standard expenses, are paid.

All this follows in accordance with federal laws dating back 100 years as regards Trust Funds that have been established for guardians to draw from when parents have been killed in an accident. Also in cases involving child stars (The Coogan Act-1939) where the law is designed to prevent their parents from spending the money for their own uses.

Any money left in the account would collect interest and be available for emergencies, or special expenses, such as part of the cost of a car, or a college education.

This is called Bird Nest Custody. YOU STAY IN THE NEST WHILE THE BIRDS TAKE TURNS BEING THERE.

* A Child's Choice In Custody * Bird Nest Custody * Equal Time - A Teen's Views On Joint Custody * Mom Loses Custody For Alienating Dad * Parental Alienation Syndrome - The Gregory Mantell Show

Also view secondary article below

The debate over the rights of a child to choose which parent they want to live with during a custody dispute has been raging for decades. The questions it generates involve whether a child should have a choice and at what age do they possess the mental capabilities to make such a choice? But first, a review on the laws on this matter.

Only Texas has a law regarding the choice of the child that requires a judge to take it into consideration:

Child's Choice of Managing Conservator (custodial or primary residential parent)

If the child is 10 years of age or older, the child may, by writing filed with the court, choose the managing conservator, subject to the approval of the court. TEX.FAM.CODE ANN. § 153.008. The court retains discretion to determine whether to honor the child's choice. Further, in a non-jury trial the court may interview the child in chambers to determine the child's wishes as to conservatorship. TEX.FAM.CODE ANN. § 153.009. Upon the request of a party, the court must interview the child. (Of note, only Texas allows the use of juries to decide custody)

In all other states, a child can express their opinion, but a judge is under no legal obligation to hear or see it, let alone take it into consideration. The presumption is that a child over the age of 12 can express their own choice, but that simply is not the fact. But, many judges do make that choice to hear what the child has to say. They decide on whether the child is mature enough to express an opinion, and whether that opinion is being influenced by a parent.

Now, a little human biology. According to studies, such as the one done by the University of Michigan and featured on the Discovery Health Channel program titled "The Amazing Life of the Human Brain", a child's brain does not BEGIN developing the ability for conceptual thought process until puberty or about age 12. Some develop this earlier, others later. Those with the longest life spans developed later.

From birth to age 2, with a few exceptions, does not possess a greater ability than that of most high order mammals. At this stage the human body is most concerned with growth and development of the immune system. Early development or forced early development of mental abilities can create a tradeoff of not having a fully developed immunal response system, leaving the body open to more diseases later in life.

At age 2, what is often call the "Terrible Twos"by most parents over the last 6000 years is really a time of miraculous change in the human brain. It is a time when we develop beyond that of other mammals on Earth. The brain begins developing the ability of long term memory storage through the creation of synaptic connectors and chemical bonds. Up to this time the brain is recoding less than one megabyte of data per second, going into permanent storage while sleeping. After age two this grows to 10 megabytes per second, mostly processed through the visual cortex. Consider how long it would take the largest computer storage device, such as a hard drive, in use today to fill up. The largest is a Petabyte, used for the super collider.

Petabytes in use today:

* The Internet Archive contains almost 2 petabytes of data. * Google processes about 20 petabytes of data a day. * The 4 experiments in the Large Hadron Collider will produce about 15 petabytes of data per year, which will be distributed over the LHC Computing Grid. * Facebook has just over 1 petabyte of users' photos stored, translating into roughly 10 billion photos. * Isohunt has about 1.1 petabyte of files contained in torrents indexed globally.

Now, calculate how much the human brain is storing at the rate of 10Mgs per second, for an average 13 hour day. That's nearly ½ a petabyte per day. A reminder here. All that data does not go into permanent storage until you go to sleep, whether you are a child or an old fart like me. It is one of the three major reason why humans should get proper sleep for at least 8 hours form those over the age of 30. More if under.

From there it takes 10 years to accumulate enough data for the brain to BEGIN developing the ability for conceptual thought process. This is when the brain begins sorting, comparing, and analyzing the data it has accumulated and is still accumulating for understanding such concepts as right from wrong, and love. This is also when more hormone production begins having a significant influence on desires and moods. This stage doesn't reach completion until age 24 in women and age 30 in men.

The only reason men are declared adults at age 18 is because they can be drafted. But, they are drafted at that age because their brains are still so much mush making it easier to overcome the natural aversion to the taking of another human's life. As they get older this becomes much more difficult, and impossible after age 25. Females are declared an adult at age 18 simply because the boys are, but without meeting the same requirements as the boys, which is ignored, and get a boy put into a federal prison.

A child under the age of 12 does not possess the ability to conceptualize or weigh the benefits and negatives of making a choice as regards a custodial parent. Even at age 12, they are only beginning to develop these abilities and can be influenced by one parent or the other in their choice. Mothers find this much easier in that they can use their maternal attachment to make the child believe he/she must not love their mother if they don't want to live with them. This can be devastating on a child and it is not an argument commonly used by fathers who think more from a logical perspective rather than emotional.

Ultimately, it comes down to the judge or jury to make this decision on what is in the best interest of the child, an area that is also highly debated. Alternate choices can be Joint Physical Custody, where a child spends 50% of their time with each parent, but this can prove problematic for the child, in moving back and worth, and even worse for a teenager who desires more independence from the parent(s) and seeing going back and worth as a major inconvenience.

The alternative is Bird Nest Custody. In this, the child lives in one home and the parents switch every 3-4 weeks. This can be highly inconvenient for the parents, though equally so, but for the children, their whole world remains the same and without disruption. But, it takes a very high degree of commitment on the part of the parents. This type of custody was successfully used by rocker Ted Nugent, and each state gets 3-5 such cases a year.