Paternity

One of the most important decisions you will need to make is choosing an attorney to work with you in attaining your goals. Your success in and out of the courtroom is crucially dependent upon the skills of your attorney. The outline below is intended to serve as a guide to consider in finding and working with a good attorney (male or female).

A) Interview several attorneys before you make a final selection. The attorney needs to learn about you and your case, and you need to learn all you can about the attorney's qualifications. Often you will be paying for the attorney's time during this visit so it is a good idea to interview with all questions written down (especially items that you are unsure about).

B) In selecting those attorneys to interview, start with those recommended by people or organizations familiar with Family Law court system. In California, may be listed in the Yellow Pages under "Family Law, Board Certified". Law is like any other profession: it is highly specialized. An attorney who devotes most of his practice to Family Law will usually be more familiar with the system and skilled at dealing with it.

C) Most initial interviews with attorneys are scheduled for 30 minutes. This is not nearly enough time for an attorney to go over all the facts of your case. What you should do during this initial interview is spend your 30 minutes finding out about the attorneys qualifications to be your attorney. If you are comfortable with the attorney and believe him/her to be well qualified, you may wish to schedule a second longer interview to go into the details of your case. This interview will probably take a couple of hours and you should expect to pay the attorney for the second interview even if the attorney did not charge you for the initial interview. Many attorneys do not charge for an initial 30 minute interview. Others charge a reduced rate for an initial interview. We do not recommend paying more than $100 for an initial 30 minute interview.

A) Can I relate well to this attorney?

# First, you need to briefly explain your situation. What do you want to achieve and what are the facts that may help or hinder you.? Do not keep any secrets from an attorney and try not to exaggerate or present a biased picture. It is a good idea to write a two page synopsis of your situation and goals. You should give this synopsis, along with your last paycheck stub, last federal income tax return, and any court documents that you have to the attorney a couple of days in advance of your interview. That way the attorney can be more prepared for your interview. (Give copies of the above documents to the attorney - not originals.) # Be especially conscious of what your "gut" feelings toward the attorney are. If your gut tells you that you don't like the attorney or that he is not interested in your case, you probably shouldn't hire him. B) What is his/her background and experience in family law?

# Ask him about his scholastic background. Do you really want to hire an attorney who finished last in his class? # What portion of his recent practice is devoted to Family Law? The best family law attorneys devote at least 75% of their practice to family law. Don't hire an attorney who devotes less than 50% of his practice to family law. # How many contested custody/visitation cases has he handled? # How many for fathers? Mothers? # How many cases actually went to court or were presented to a jury? (Note: Only in Texas do custody cases go to jury trials.) # How many joint custody cases were handled? # What success has he had in settling cases out of court and how were those settled? # What success has he had in court? (Try to determine if he only takes sure winners. It is easy to inflate the record if one takes only cases where the other parent borders on unfitness, or is uninterested, or where the opposing lawyer is unskilled). # Ask if he is particularly familiar with the quirks and biases of the judges and court in the county where you wish to file. # Is he Board Certified in Family Law? (If your state has such a designation) Board certification usually (but not always) indicates an increased interest in family law and awareness of new changes and trends. # Ask if he is a member of any professional association. (The State Bar may have a family law section). # Ask about his experience in dealing with expert testimony. (Psychologist, psychiatrist, social workers, physicians). Ask your attorney about the DSM-IV (Diagnostic And Statistical Manual Of Mental Disorders - 4th Edition). If the attorney is not familiar with the DSM-IV, he probably doesn't have the necessary background in mental health matters to expertly cover a child custody case or child abuse case. # Ask about his experience with tax implications of a decree (child support, community property). # Ask him if there is a way in which his clients may be in touch with him outside of his office hours for emergencies only. A) Hiring a good attorney will be expensive. However, retaining a mediocre one may be even more expensive to you in the long run, so do not try to economize unnecessarily. The final decree could influence your relationship with your children for years to come. Depending upon your area, you should expect to pay at least $100 per hour for a family law attorney on up to as much as $400 per hour. A basic retainer fee in a child custody case should cover about 25 hours of the attorney's time so multiply the attorney's hourly rate by 25 to get an idea of how much a retainer fee should be. Before going into see an attorney you need to develop a budget of how much you can spend on the case. Most custody cases that go all the way to trial will take a minimum of 50 hours of an attorney's time. If you can't cover the fees for 50 hours of the attorney's time, you should consider whether or not you can afford this attorney in the long run. If you cannot afford the attorney to handle all of your case, consider hiring the best qualified attorney that you interview to be a consultant in your case and pay him for his time as you go along. See related link for specific interview questions.

# Ask the attorney how much she/he charges per hour for attorney and support staff (i.e. paralegal, secretary) time. Is there a non-refundable retainer? Note than even with refundable retainer's you will not get any money back for the amount of time the attorney and his staff spends on your case before your attorney-client relationship ends. # Ask about extra charges and what they include. (i.e. discovery costs, expert witness fees, etc.). # Ask for an estimate of how much work and money will be required to successfully present or negotiate your case. Total cost is difficult since it may depend heavily on factors largely outside of your own or his control. # The temptation to settle for a flat fee may be high, but we suggest a monthly bill for the services performed. It provides you with a check on what your attorney is doing on your case each month. Ask about extending payments out over a period of time. # You should ask for an employment contract in which both the attorney's and your own rights and responsibilities are clearly defined. a. It should cover the fee schedule and accounting records for time expended.

b. Costs of hiring experts and other attorneys.

c. Grounds under which she/he may withdraw from your case.

d. Grounds for your terminating the contract.

e. Exactly what services are covered (i.e. will this contract also cover an appeal, if necessary?).

f. Read the contract very carefully and if you have any questions, ask. You may be able to negotiate other terms.

=== === === === A) After the interview, you may check out the attorney's reputation with other clients, attorneys and people familiar with the family law system. Check with the local bar association to see if any grievances have been filed against him. If so, be sure to find out what the grievance was for, and how it was disposed.

B) Try to find out from other clients the attorney's availability and promptness in returning telephone calls.

C) A source for professional and educational background information is the Martindale-Hubbell Law Directory. (Available at major libraries, law libraries, and online).

D) Visit the Family Law Court and watch the attorney in trial.

A) Remember your primary goal is to continue a strong parenting relationship with your children. Your legal parental responsibilities as well as maximum physical time are important, attainable rights.

B) Provide him with the relevant facts and help him plan the strategy for an out-of-court settlement or a trial.

C) Keep good records relating to your responsibilities and actions as a parent (Daily diary, photographs, tape recordings).

D) Have your witness list early.

E) Your attorney provides expert legal advise. You may dislike the way the Family Court operates, but you are not going to win in settlement or in court by attacking the system.

F) Do not use your attorney for emotional support. He is experienced in legal matters. Friends, relatives, or counseling professionals can help in this emotionally draining period.

G) Remember that you are the employer. If, after confronting your attorney with all the things that are not satisfactory and he has not responded, then you can fire him and seek a new attorney.

H) You must feel confident that your attorney is 100% committed to achieving the best possible environment for you and your children.

You probably don't need to hear this, but I'll say it for the sake of other readers. In my opinion, you shouldn't be having sex if you're not ready or willing to be a parent. No birth control is 100% reliable. Abortion isn't a back-up plan (especially if you haven't discussed it in advance with your partner).

As for your questions, I'm not a lawyer, and some of the specifics will depend on state law, but in general:

A father is responsible for financially supporting his children, whether he wanted them or not. (Unless they are adopted by someone else.) A father won't be forced to see his children, but it would be a lousy thing not to make yourself available.

Here is more from Wiki s contributors:

• In most cases the biological father is equally responsible for supporting a child/children. If in a situation where the couple are not married and the male does not voluntarily admit to being the father, a paternity test must be taken before child support and/or custody or visitation issues can be addressed. Some states allow a parent to petition the court for a voluntary relinquishment of parental rights and obligations. Contacting the clerk of the domestic or family court in the county or city of residence will help provide more specific information.

# Take a witness along with you, preferably an off-duty police officer, deputy sheriff, or another neutral official. Have your witness stay in your vehicle, but with the window down so that he/she can hear the tone of the conversation, and with the vehicle parked in such a way as the witness can easily see you all the time.

# Take a copy of your divorce decree along with you which shows that you are supposed to see the child(ren) on that weekend, and at that time. DO NOT BE EVEN 5 MINUTES LATE.

# Take a tape recorder with you. Have it running from the time you approach the residence, and do no stop it until you leave. DO NOT have it on the "voice activated" setting as you need to show the time elapsed during your stay there. Keep it running as you leave the area.

# As you approach the residence, state the following facts into the recorder:

a) Your complete name;

b) The address you are approaching;

c) The reason you are there ("l am going to see my son/daughter/children as this is my weekend to visit with them...." etc.);

d) State who is with you and why;

e) State the time of the day and a.m. or p.m.

# As you leave, state that you are leaving and state the time and briefly what occurred which did not appear on the recorder (she/he made an obscene gesture, etc.).

# Keep a calendar of each denied visitation, and keep a written record of the number of recordings you have.

# Make sure you have a credible witness each time that you try to go see the child(ren) and DO NOT MISS A VISITATION PERIOD.

# If she/he calls the police, keep the recorder running as long as they will let you.

# Remember to use a new tape for each attempted visit, and make sure it is blank except for your attempted visits, as admitting a tape into evidence admits the whole tape, and everything on it.

# When recruiting a person to go with you, always have a back-up just in case your first choice cannot make it, but DO NOT GO ALONE. Start out early to give yourself plenty of time; you can always stop at a store near her/his house and get a soft drink to kill time. NEVER drink a beer or any other alcoholic beverage before going there.

# If your child(ren) come to the door before they can be told to go back into the house, the first thing you say to them is, "I love you and miss you." They simply come first and must know that your absence has not been their fault and that you have not wanted to stay away.

# DO NOT ARGUE with your ex regardless of how hurt you are and how mad you are or what your ex has to say. Staying calm and recording the conversation is the smart thing to do and will get her/him in the long run and make you and your child(ren) the winners.

---- "I am here to exercise my visitation . Going by our court order, I am to pick up (child[ren]'s name[s] ) at this time."

(If told that you cannot see the child, that they are sick, or that they have other plans, then use one of the following)

"I have a copy of our divorce papers which says that this is my weekend with ________________ (or "the children") and I miss them very much and want to be with them, and I know they miss me."

(If illness is claimed:) "What is wrong with ."

(Then say:) "I will take their medicine with me, and see that it is taken as ordered by the doctor."

(If you still are refused, say:) "I want to see and that I am sorry he/she is sick. Who is the doctor, so that I can talk to him/her and see how is doing?"

(If still refused, then leave with the recorder running and follow other instructions.)

(If told that "they have other plans," say:) "I can take them where they are going if you will tell me when and where."

Below are links to examples of Notice of Intent, Notice of Violation, and a Motion For Enforcement of Visitation Rights.

See Dads House for additional info and help.