Weddings

There is no "official" protocol for honoring the deceased at a wedding, but here are some ideas I've seen work well:

1. If one has the freedom to create text for one's wedding ceremony, one can add a reference to the deceased and a moment of observation--silence, the ringing of a bell, music, the reading of a favorite passage.

2. You can also add a note to your program expressing love and gratitude to those who are "no longer present except in your hearts" and mention the deceased by name if you wish.

3. You can place a flower, candle, or photo on the chair where she would have been seated--the first chair next to the center aisle on either the bride's or groom's side, depending whose mother she was. You can put the flower on the chair as you approach the altar during the processional if you wish to call attention to the gesture.

4. You can tie a personal momento belonging to the deceased to your bouquet--I've seen rings, handkerchiefs, cameos--or tuck something in your handkerchief pocket, near your heart.

5. You can include her favorite flower in the wedding bouquet, corsages, or reception florals, and put a note of remembrance and explanation on each table. If your mother liked flowers or gardening, you could give favorite seeds as favors.

6. Couples will sometimes keep a photo of the deceased with them on their wedding day or put a photo on the wedding altar and offer a flower or light a candle during the ceremony (if desired, the photo can also be laid flat so only the couple can see it.)

7. You can place items of meaning to you and the deceased on a small table at the reception, along with a photo, flower, candle, or note of tribute.

8. You can light a candle for your mother at the beginning of the wedding ceremony to evoke her presence; this can be done with or without explanation.

9. Give your dad a big hug that day and tell him you love him and appreciate everything he and mom did for you, and that you keep her always in your heart and memory. A personal note to this effect is also a lovely keepsake.

Hope that helps!

Your deceased mother could also be mentioned in the Wedding Speech made to the bride or groom. That Wedding Speech could be made by the Best Man, Maid or Matron of Honor, Father of the Bride or Father of the Groom, or close friend or relative. It could also be made by the Wedding MC if the Wedding Emcee has been requested to make a speech. The acknowledgement doesn't have to be sad or tearful. Instead, it is simply a brief mention to acknowledge those who were unable to be at your wedding and to say that your mother would have been very proud of you on your wedding day.

Objecting at a wedding ceremony can be very hurtful and embarrassing so all objections should be given before the wedding. Never do to others what you wouldn't want someone to do to you. Making a public spectacle to highlight your objections would suggest a bitter motive. Many service orders no longer even include the option for obvious reasons.

However if the people being married are committing a crime by getting married you must object. Of course you can only object for a valid legal reason, like bigamy; not because you simply don't like the idea of the two people getting married. The Minister requires anyone to "show just cause" why they cannot be married. Note the word "just", this means a cause that would be sustained in a court of law.

It could be for two reasons - her weight lossor she may have a jewelry allergy on her hands right now. Please notice that she is not wearing any jewelry on her fingers like she used to. I am sure that she is still happily married to her husband as always. Her husband wears his wedding ring.

Read more: Why isn't Nancy grace wearing her wedding ring since being on Dancing with the stars

Mr. and Mrs. Marvin Beazley

or

Kate and Marvin Beazley

If the bride and groom are hosting, then the line reads

Ms. Jane Doe and Mr. Sam Smith

or,

Together with their families,

Jane Doe and Sam Smith

The Request

The next line in a wedding invitation is the one that requests that your guests attend.

If your ceremony is at a place of worship, then the line should read:

request the honor of your presence

at the marriage of their daughter

Note the formal British spelling of the word "honor." The word daughter is used as an example and should be the gender of the person whose parents are hosting. If, on the other hand your ceremony is at home or other secular location, then the line should read:

request the pleasure of your company

at the marriage of their daughter

or

would be delighted for you to attend

the marriage of their daughter

If the couple is hosting:

invite you to join us at the celebration of our marriage

The Happy Couple

Etiquette says that the bride should be listed first, using first and middle names only. Then the groom should be listed, using both title and middle name.

So for example:

Nora Jane

to

Mr. Scott Andrew Jackson

Date and Time

Traditionally, these are spelled out:

Saturday, the tenth of June

two thousand and six

at four o'clock in the afternoon

note that the month and day are capitalized. If it were a 4:30 ceremony, the time would read at half after four o'clock in the afternoon.

But for a less formal ceremony, you can also write

Saturday, June 10, 2006

at 4 p.m

The Location

If the ceremony is at a well known location, you needn't include the address:

The Museum of Fine Arts

Houston, Texas

Time for the Reception

Let your guests know there is going to be a party afterward . This can either be included on the wedding invitation or on a separate reply card.

On the wedding invitation, it would read

Reception to follow at the Briar Hills Country Club

If you're not serving a full meal, it is nice to let guests know. You might write:

And afterwards for cocktails and cake in the RoseRoom.

Or

Dessert and dancing to follow

a separate reception card is often good to use if the ceremony and reception are in different places, or the reception doesn't immediately follow the ceremony. It might read something like

Reception

8 o'clock

YOu think of all the things she loves and likes and base the proposal around that. If she is really into her heritage, then you can go to that type of restaurant to eat and do it there. If she likes a certain style, like chinese, indian, greek, decorate your place in the style and make a romantic evening out of that. Use your imagination. Go to the fist place you met and have a special occasion set up there...

Well congratulations and I sure hope she says yes. Please let us know.

Make it romantic. Here are some ideas:

If you like the old fashioned way, find a quiet time with her, get down on one knee, hold her hand, look into her eyes and then put the box with the ring in it in her hand and say, "I love you so very much ... will you marry me?"

If you are really certain her answer will be yes and she has been hinting around about getting engaged here is a couple of good ideas:

If both of you are extroverted and are not super private, you can have a party, set something up with your friends that is unusual (they will have several ideas on that one you can bet on that) and ask her to marry you there right in front of your friends.

If you are two private people, when you go to pick her up for a date or if you are living together do this:

Put the ring in a small box, wrap it. Then find a bigger box, put the wrapped ring in that, then a huge box and put the other box in that. Make her work for it! LOL She won't be expecting a ring in such a large box.

You can also buy her a dozen roses and put the ring down on one of the stems of the roses. Be sure you are there and be sure in a suttle way you say something like, "Isn't that strange, what the heck is that at the bottom of the stem?" Of course she will become curious and have a look. Big surprise.

You could also go for a romantic out-of-the-way restaurant and propose to her over a nice romantic dinner. Don't do the "ring in the wine glass" thing because one too many young women have actually swallowed the ring!

You could go on a romantic 3 day get-away and propose to her anywhere you like ... on top of a mountain, bungy jumping, skiing, boating, etc.

There are so many options. You're a fun guy and I wish I could be there when you pop that important question. You'll never go wrong making it romantic!

If ya'll can think of ways, please do share:

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