Yo mama so lazy she thinks a two-income family is when yo daddy has
Yo mama so stupid she puts lipstick on her head when she's trying
to make up her mind.
Yo mama so stupid she returned her M&M's because they were all
Yo mama so ugly she makes blind children cry.
Yo mama so ug…
Americans have always needed a "catalyst" to go to war.
An event of such magnitude as to awaken us from our slumber. The
Leopard-Chesapeake Affair for the War of 1812,the sinking of the
USS Maine for the Spanish-American War, the sinking of the
Lusitania and the Zimmermann Telegram for WWI,…
The largest ball of twine built by one person is in Darwin, Minnesota. Francis Johnson built a 17,400 pound, 13 foot in diameter, ball of sisal twine in 1950.
No, They would become more intelligent then us and take over the world...PLANET OF THE TURKEYS... WHO NEEDS TANKS AND WAR PLANES?! WE GOT TURKEYS! What would happen to Thanksgiving?! Besides, we already have genetically engineered giant turkeys. They're called ostriches. And just for the record, …
"That Doggie in the Window" - Song he was £4.50
No. It is in fact the cha cha slide. It is for me! I can't think of a problem in life that can't be solved by putting my right foot in, out, shaking it and turning myself around! The Hokey-Pokey is a childrens' party-time dance that many have enjoyment in. The words: 'You do the Hokey-Pokey and y…
The same person who Put the Bomp (In the Bomp, Bomp, Bomp).
The Yangtze River is the longest river of China. Its length is 6,236 km. The Yellow River is the second longest river of China. It length is 5,778 km. SOURCE: S. Liu, P. Lu, D. Liu, P. Jin, W. Wang, Pinpointing the sources and measuring the lengths of the principal rivers of the world, Internationa…
Good Humor is Creative
In order to produce good humor, one has to be very creative and
original. These qualities require you to be extra smart. I think
Good Humor = High intelligence.
Humor Equals Intelligence?
No, a sense of humor is nothing more than an emotion of joy. It has
no relevance to intel…
"Your Mom Jokes" have been popular for years (back into the 40s.) There was "Your mom wears army boots" to "Your moms so ugly that when she walks by the screen door the flies can't get out fast enough" to "Your mama is so fat she has to buy her clothes at Jones, Test and Awning!" It goes on and …
You have a few options. 1. Smoke a lot of weed.2. If you don't find what others find funny, to be funny, then explore the darker side of humor. :)
WikiAnswers' contributors have answered like this: I would rather be a forest with nature around me than a street with cars running over me. OK, call me weird, but I would rather be a street, with human beings around me because I really like nature and all, but I would never be able to be so isolate…
18.5 pounds of bacon (hickory smoked, thick sliced)
What do you mean boys are weird? This is rather vague. This is an opinion but sometimes boys act weird due to the fact that they develop later than females; making them seem immature, etc.
There are many reasons why you are bored. You probably get tired of
doing the same thing everyday. It's a routine almost, and you need
something truly significant to change it.
A Cliff Jump- With a professional assistant and be supervised.
Or anything absolutely outrageous …
Laughter is an emotional release similar to crying, brought upon by a mild mental stress rather than an emotional stress. It happens when the mind has some notion of an expectation and then that expectation is replaced by something similar but different and unexpected.From sudden emotion…
When Someone is sleeping, spray whipped cream or shaving cream (or something of that texture) on to their hand. Then, blow on their face or get a feather and rub it on their cheek so they put their hand up to their face and get cream all over them... its HEAPS FUNNY ! Um isn't that a raid? Hi it's…
Nothing is more than infinity, nothing is longer than infinity. It
is infinite, definitely.
Nothing is more than infinity. Infinity will just go on forever!
Finding Owner's Manual
Believe it or not, you can usually go to the Sony website and download an owner's manual for free. You'll need to know the model of the item you need the manual for and they archive manuals which go back for several years.
Overt sexuality is taboo in Indian films so they substitute elaborate musical numbers. I haven't noticed much change when I come across an Indian film on cable tv. The acting is pure ham city. Satyajit Ray is one of India's greatest film makers, his films are exquisite.http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki…
Just be yourself and act natural,say something random, sound sarcastic, calm etc.Make sure you know your audience, saying funny jokes to your mum isn't the best thing, try with your mates.Build up facts and knowledge.Learn from other comedians e.g Michael McIntyre.Read funny comics, book, poems etc.…
The most scariest person on earth is Justin Bieber (LOL!) and the most cutest is Taylor Lautner. :)
to promote full racial equality fo shizzle :P
Yes they do. They are still human like us. Of course they do! The queen is just an everyday person, like you or me, with all the poshness and finger-sandwiches (crusts cut off!!) thrown in. They are called Noble Gases and go right to the very top of the greenhouse gas collection. Yes, but they do…
A woolly jumper
A woolly jumper with big pockets ...
get some dog poo then cover it with paper, put it on someone's doorstep then set it on fire. then ring the door bell and run and hide. when they answer the door the person will stamp on the fire to put it out but will be covered up to their ankles in poo !!
ANSWER: It stands for Greatest Of All Time.
because of his goatee
Here are some (some better than others): 1) A blonde gets tired of all those blonde jokes, so she colors her hair brown. She goes for a drive in the country and sees a sheep farm. She walks up to the sheep farmer and says "If I can guess how many sheep you have, will you give me one?" The farmer lo…
actually money does grow on trees in a way... You see because, money is paper... right? and paper is made from trees. so in a sense, money does grow on trees! But others have other theories like, 'some paper is made from elephant poop! so if its made of that... money must also come from elephant po…
men and boys should be able to wear them as a daily part of their wardwrobe...why not, they were invented for men anyway..many girls like males in tights,,should not be a problem..
Boys dont wear tights, even if they want to, because they thing it takes away from their manlyness! :p
The same way you would a guy's pants. You put one leg at a time in,
then pull them up and zip them. But you may look a bit silly in
them, especially if they're very feminine looking.
It's a matter of culture, not physiology. It would be better to say why can't people from Germanic cultures dance.The Spanish certainly have a very strong dance tradition as to the Gaels with their Irish and Scots Step dance.Check out 'Flamenco' and 'Riverdance' before saying 'White people can't dan…
To scare your boyfriend when he just moves in with you... 1-Put a crib in the spare bedroom, then stare at it from time to time. 2-Turn off the light,then call on the telephone using your phone without letting your boyfriend seeing you. then pretend your scare to make it more affective.3-When the ro…
It isn't always that hard to get people to laugh. Try these suggestions:
Pull silly faces, tickle them, Imitate well known things, e.g. Cinderella, babies, animals. Do an impression of well known people. Do a scene from a well known play and add a modern character in it. You could also pretend not t…
ADD YOUR ANSWERS BELOW!
Don't erase the other answers though
People find the unexpected humorous - harmless things that you
don't think are coming, like the end of a joke or a pun
The poor spelling and grammar that I read in these
People who think they're being clever a…
William Shakespeare created the Knock-Knock joke. The first recorded use was in Act two of his famous play wright, Macbeth. After the murder of king Duncan, a drunken scottish man knocks on the door of Macbeth and Lady Macbeth. The joke was in the exact same format but written in early Modern Englis…
Well you should just be yourself and talk about what you feel.. If he/she calls YOU then talk about what game u want to play outside at school or where u see him in a free time. Get active don't be shy because you like him, be the real deal, be loud and be you like you do in frount of your friends. …
Yes, cheese comes from the moon. haha just kidding cheese comes from milk which is from cows. the only reason why they call the moon "cheese" is because it has craters on its surface n it has holes on the surface so it makes it look like cheese
It's power to communicate ideas to a huge audience <---- real novanet answer.
Ask how her day was!
age old question
they put metal under where they are going to perform they illusion and put very high strength magnets in there shoe.there whole shoe has manets all over it.(Actual Levitation)
Fold your arms, close your eyes, and float gently off the ground. Until you have mastered the …
A person who watches TV all the time is called a 'couch potato.'
The computer counterpart is a 'cyber spud', first coined by Wyoming photographer L. Lee Jensen, 1981.
That's actually called a "couch potato."
FSH ! Because You Remove The "I" Get It, The Fish Has No Eye....You Take Out The "I" As In "Eye"
(You should not use the slang word fantabulous in any serious writing. The word is an example of Lewis Carroll's well-known method of creating a word by combining elements of two different words. It is a fun word to use with friends, or in very informal settings, with the meaning fantastic and fabul…
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"The op…
Yeah, but first she dips his hands in hot sauce.
Mr. Someone who?
Mr. Someone is truly someone knocking, especially not Mrs. Someone,
who makes knock knock...
You didn't tell me you knew how to speak owl.
Doris locked -- that's why I had to knock!
Teddy is the firs…
I get up in front of the class at recess every day and do jokes I made up here are some that made tem burst out in laughter.Knock Knock!Whose there?You where born on a pile of pa.You where born on a pile of pa who.You where born on a pile of poo.Knock Knock.Whose there?Phillip.Phillip who?Phillip my…
Check the vans entire cooling system including the temp sending
unit, cooling fan, thermostat an water pump. One of these is
probably bad and needs replacing.
a) a soaring ego b) your age c) your weight d) the floater in your eye
This question has been floating around for several years and the
answer is constantly being changed to someones personal favorite
comedian. I said Robin Williams is my favorite many years ago, and
someone kept changing it over and over.
There is NO #1 funniest person in the world. We all have a
Carrots.... Lots and Lots of Carrots......
Opera singers I'm sure My buddie's wife
ANSWER: T. K. Maddy.
You laugh or other people laugh. Or it makes u feel good inside =]
Oh, dear. they dont. its what the corn is called, indeed. goodday
Nickelodeon, disney channel, cartoon network, neflix, Abc, TNT, and sometimes youtube
I would say, Are you hungry?
An answering machine, also known as an answerphone (especially in the UK and some Commonwealth countries), and sometimes/formerly ansaphone or ansafone or telephone answering device (TAD), is a device invented in 1935, by Benjamin Thornton, and independently in Switzerland by Willy Mueller.
You have to click the blue, then red, then blue, then yellow :)
The fee for a business license in Tennessee is $42.00 if you are located in the USD (Metro) and $22.00 if you are located in the GSD (County only).
The question sheet and answers to "Can you zooley" are here http://msbeaker.blogspot.com/2010/02/lateral-thinking-and-logic-puzzles.html
CAN YOU ZOOLEY?
QUESTIONS 1. What family is visiting the polar bears? 2. What kind of family are they? 3. Whose family is the largest in number? …
Humor: Yes, all Gummy Bears and Gummy Worms are created equal for the continual satisfaction of your taste buds.
The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at catching criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.The CIA goes in.They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all pl…
As we all know numbers go on and on and on. It is proven that there is no such thing as the biggest number in the world. we cannot really know what the biggest number is because the number system go on they really don't have specific number. We really dont know what the biggest number is.
1. put your thumb and your middle finger together while creating a
cave shape with your ring and pinky fingers lightly touching the
base of your palm
2. push your thumb and your middle finger together, creating
3. brush them together while pulling your thumb towards your
pointer finger as…
The one you just asked.
According to Guinness Worl Records the loudest burp was registered on 24 September 2008 by Paul Hunn, in London, UK. The burp measured 107.1 decibels.
What is the angle of the dangle in proportion to the heat of the meat? If it is less than 54%, the answer is Pontiac, Michigan.
That's easy. 412.876 if the little green men don't come and get me before the pool is clean.
he 2008 Men's Olympics road race took place on August 9 at the Urban Road Cycling Course. It started at 11:00 China Standard Time (UTC+8), and was scheduled to last until 17:30 later that day. The 245.4-kilometre (152.5 mi) course ran north across the heart of the Beijing metropolitan area, passing …
def leppard released there best selling album Hysteria in 1987
Yo mama so skinny she was marked absent for standing sideways.Yo mama so skinny she can dodge rain.Yo mama so skinny she stepped on the scale and it said "Next please."Yo mama so skinny she gave a new name to anorexia.Yo mama so skinny she stepped on the scale and it said "air cannot be weighed."Yo …
we measure rain by using rain gauge it is measured by inches,
centimeters, and millimeters. the tube for the stored rain has to
have no leaking spots and you cant have the water evaporate or else
you don't fully measure it.
TV shop A blonde walks into a eletcronics shop and says can I have the tv behind the counter please? The man says no sorry we don't serve blondes in here.. The lady gave a long sigh and went into a hairdressers and got her hair dyed brown. She went back in to the other shop and asked the man agai…
what 4 leter sport starts with a T----golfthree workmen had been working on a building for a while and every lunch brake they went and sat out on beam, the red head said ehh every day for lunch i always have a tuna sandwhich if have a tuna sandwhich one more time im going to jump off this beam! the …
Just be your self and try to say something that are funny like wow what the did you just say you did it with someone that always makes my friends laugh but try something else cause that is my way to make my friends laugh.
Longer than the one your spinning.
waldo is a sly person with a red striped turtleneck who hides in books. he is also known to wear and red and white striped beanie. i found him once. but then i never saw him again.
Karaniwang Tao by Joey Ayala link youtube.com/watch?v=7jRGcACdKMM
Development Economics report on The Environmental Costs of Urban
Music: Karaniwang Tao by Joey Ayala.
You, and whoever you're playing it with, must have your shoes off. Gently slide your feet up and down your partner's feet. Anything, really. Just touch their feet gently with yours. It's quite fun.
Make sure your target has plenty to drink. Then sneak out and put clin film on the toilet seat when your target goes to pee it will go everywhere! and its even more funny if there bear foot :)
IT'S OVER 9000! *breaks the scouter in his hand* What 9000?! It eventually exceeded 21000 when Bulma checked via another scouter. ⌐_⌐ IT'S OVER... WAIT THE SCOUTER IS UPSIDE DOWN... IT'S *in not yelling voice* 1006. -_- It's less then 9000!! Vegeta actually says "It's over 8000!" but it was…
1 (its A)
The Department of Homeland Security shows up at your door.
Yes they do. Dick Clark "America's oldest teenager" was born in 1929. He hosted American Bandstand in the late 1950's and was an Icon for young ladies for years. His youthful appearance and great voice is recognized all over the world as the New Years eve countdown host.
There are several versions. Here's one.
A traveling salesman's car breaks down on a country road one evening. He is miles from town. He walks to a nearby farm house, and the farmer doesn't have a phone, but says he'll take the salesman into town in the moring. Since the salesman isn't going anywher…
Here are some items found in a bathroom that begin with the letter
Aerosol hair spray
Find the G-Spot. U can tell it is the G-Spot because it feels like a sponge
It's Mr Bean. My vote is for Robin Williams. The man is unbelievable . My vote is for CG Allen. My vote is for Dell Schanze. That guy has issues. . . . My vote is for Emmet Emma Isabella Grahn... And this isn't even her real name.. It is Britt.. Do I need to explain more...?? My vote is for t…
Answer:Ya really wanna know? Look under here!Ya sure ya wanna know? Look up here!
If your talking about in school, you shouldn't have to ask because unless there are assigned seats, its first come first seat, so to speak. If you are not in her "clique", then be observant and see what some likes/dislikes are and incorporate them into your intro to her.
Pizza, Hamburgers, Tacos, Enchiladas, Turkey, Food ...
A good joke is a joke that more people like it then don't, a bad joke is the other way around, if you need some jokes try this sight, it even has a voting section that tells you how many people liked it and how many people didn't "LOL.com"- "Awsomer then You" PS i go to that web sight all the time …
Like this lolololololololhahahahaha lmfao roflmao hahahahaha wow im so random and cool.okay no they supposed to laugh when somethings funny lol l for laugh o for out l for loud laugh out loudoh man im laughin my *ss off
YOU SHOULD HAVE A RAVE!!!!!!!! SWEET 16 LOOOL =PLol!!For my 16th birthday party (sweet 16). Some of my best Friends went to a spa, and had are make up and hair done.Then we had a crazy limo ride!! And went all hyper!!Then we went to a fun fair. And to finish off the party we went to a restaurant had…
Because I threw it out the window!
because you're happy and your dopamine level is up
i live in it. of course it is!
And if you don't believe it, we'll bring Democracy to you too!
Pupil (on phone): My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come
to school today.
School Secretary: Who is this?
Pupil: This is my father speaking!
Mother: How do you like your new teacher?
Son: I don't. She told me to sit up the front for the present and
then she didn't give me one!