jealousy

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Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. This rival may or may not know that he or she is perceived as a threat. The opposite of jealousy is compersion.

The word stems from the French jalousie, formed from jaloux (jealous), and further from Low Latin zelosus (full of zeal), and from the Greek word for "ardour, zeal" (ζήλος) (with a root connoting "to boil, ferment"; or "yeast"). Jealousy is a familiar experience in human relationships. It has been reported in every culture and in many forms where researchers have looked. ^{[1] [2] [3]} It has been observed in infants as young as 5-6 months old and in adults over 65 years old. ^{[4] [5] [6] [7]}

It has been an enduring topic of interest for scientists, artists, and theologians. Psychologists have proposed several models of the processes underlying jealousy and have identified individual differences that influence the expression of jealousy. Sociologists have demonstrated that cultural beliefs and values play an important role in determining what triggers jealousy and what constitutes socially acceptable expressions of jealousy. Biologists have identified factors that may unconsciously influence the expression of jealousy. Artists have explored the theme of jealousy in photographs, paintings, movies, songs, plays, poems, and books. Theologians have offered religious views of jealousy based on the scriptures of their respective faiths. Despite its familiarity, however, people define jealousy in different ways. Some even mislabel it as being protective of something or someone, when the fact is, it's really simply possessive jealousy itself; and many feel they don't possess effective strategies for coping with this form of jealousy. ^[8]

The word "jealousy" is frequently used to describe what is more properly envy, fixation on what someone else has.

Basics of Jealousy

Definitions of jealousy

Main article: Jealousy definitions

The complexity of jealousy allows people to define it in different ways. Dictionary definitions describe popular meanings of jealousy. Scientific definitions emphasize aspects of jealousy that have received attention in theory and research. Despite differences in wording and emphasis, definitions of jealousy usually share basic themes. These shared themes indicate jealousy is a meaningful concept. Jealousy can also be distinguished from concepts such as envy. In simple terms, jealousy is a feeling of protective resentment towards one who threatens a relationship or value.

Jealousy and Flirtation, by Haynes King (1831-1904)

Coping with jealousy

People who experience pathological jealousy, and people for whom jealousy triggers violence, may benefit from professional counseling. People who experience normal jealousy have at least nine strategies for coping with jealousy. The problem-solving strategies include: improving the primary relationship, interfering with the rival relationship, demanding commitment, and self-assessment. The emotion-focused strategies include: derogation of partner or rival, developing alternatives, denial/avoidance, support/catharsis, and appraisal challenge. These strategies are related to emotion regulation, conflict management, cognitive change, and ground rules for managing jealous competition. The most important thing to do about any feelings of jealousy is to first admit them, and then attempt to overcome them. Polyamory groups encourage the replacement of jealousy with compersion, or empathizing with a lover's joy with another lover.

Jealousy in the sciences

Psychology of jealousy

While mainstream psychology considers sexual arousal through jealousy a paraphilia (categorized as zelophilia), some authors on sexuality (Serge Kreutz, Instrumental Jealousy) have argued that jealousy in manageable dimensions can have a definite positive effect on sexual function and sexual satisfaction. Studies have also shown that jealousy sometimes heightens passion towards partners and increases the intensity of passionate sex. ^{[9] [10]}

Sociology of jealousy

Main article: Jealousy sociology

Anthropologists such as Catie Burke have claimed that jealousy varies across cultures. Cultural learning can influence the situations that trigger jealousy and the manner in which jealousy is expressed. Attitudes toward jealousy can also change within a culture over time. For example, attitudes toward jealousy changed substantially during the 1960s and 1970s in the United States. People in the United States adopted much more negative views about jealousy.

Jealousy in art

A love letter from a rival; a youth catches his boyfriend with a love letter from another. Panel from a series of ten homoerotic scenes on a shunga-style painted hand scroll (kakemono-e); sumi, color and gofun on silk. Miyagawa Isshô, ca. 1750.

Main article: Jealousy in art

Jealousy is the powerful complex of emotions experienced at the loss, real or imagined, of something or someone you believe is yours, whereas envy concerns what you don’t have and would like to possess. Othello is filled with jealousy at the thought of losing Desdemona: Iago is consumed with envy of Othello’s prestige. Because jealous lovers tell multiple stories about those who arouse their jealousy, and because the emotion is so corrosive, jealousy is a common theme in literature, art, theatre, and film.

Jealousy in religion

Main article: Jealousy in religion

Jealousy in religion examines how the scriptures and teachings of various religions deal with the topic of jealousy. Religions may be compared and contrasted on how they deal with two issues: concepts of divine jealousy, and rules about the provocation and expression of human jealousy.

References

See also

External links

• BBC: Jealousy
• Practical Jealousy Management, from a Polyamory website

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