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Abusive Relationships and Domestic Violence
An abusive relationship is a relationship in which a person is victim to the use or threat of being physically or psychologically abused. Here you can ask questions about abusive relationships such as how to spot it, and how to get yourself or others help.
3,885 Questions
How do you get a mentally abusive boyfriend out of your house?
You don't -- you leave -- they never change and it gets worse. Trust me. You'll lose your sense of self and believe you are worthless. You'll waste the only life you have trying to please your spouse, which isn't possible. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and kindness, which is the foundation all marriages are built on. Educate yourself so you can help yourself.
Anwer2: You can live with him, but YOU CANNOT EVER MAKE HIM CHANGE! Stand up for yourself starting NOW. Tell your spouse you WILL NOT tolerate that behavior one more minute and you do not have to. Can't you see that you deserve to be treated like a beautiful, cherished person. It's not okay for you to let him treat you like this. God loves and cherishes you and so should your spouse. Find a good mental health physician and let the healing begin by leaving him behind in the dust.
How do you know someone is abusive?
if you have the black eyes, s/he's abusive Guess what? I've never had a black eye. That doesn't mean I haven't been abused (especially since I've been afraid for my life). * Explain why you fear for your life if you are not being Physically Abused (Pushed, kicked, shoved , etc). If you are being Verbally threatened , what is he/she saying , WHY & How Often ???? Generalities or statements , without specifics, are meaningless.
How to forgive a jealous boyfriend?
Jealousy is an unattractive trait and it can be a dangerous one. Try to understand that he feels that his jealousy is a measure of his love for you and he really can't help it. He sees threats to your relationship where there are none, and these perceived threats cause fear and anger. In some people, the anger can grow out of control, and can lead to violence. Be aware and be careful.
Why do people scream at each other?
Because I felt like expressing my anger at you! I feel it is a way to calm me, by using other people to scream at, many people do it. Also when you annoy someone or do something you weren't meant to the person feels angry that you have done this, so by showing you they express it via voice! People scream at each other because they have so much anger that the scream to let it out! It's kinda scary because the might start to push, shove, or kick. So, stay out of their way! Yikes!
Why do people feel love for their abusers?
I am not sure if it's love that they are feeling. Abuse is a cycle that is really hard to break. Love is something healty and kind and there is no love in an abusive relationship. I believe that both parties can care about each other. For the abuser they are in love with the control they have over their partner. As far as the partner is concerned, they have a very low self esteem and feel like the abuser is their whole life and that they cannot make it without them. Both people are co-dependent and it is hard for either of them to end the cycle they have become so used to.
What is gross neglect of duty?
Gross negligence is a legal concept which means serious carelessness. Negligence is the opposite of diligence, or being careful. The standard of ordinary negligence is what conduct one expects from the proverbial "reasonable person". By analogy, if somebody has been grossly negligent, that means they have fallen so far below the ordinary standard of care that one can expect, to warrant the label of being "gross".
How do you get a sociopathic ex-husband out of your life?
7/25/2008 Current victim/survivor:
I can't agree enough with the author below. My former spouse was so sweet and kind and loving to me the first year or so...then all changed, he controlled every aspect, shut me out of his work life, spoke his own language, told me what where when to do things...We butted heads over a lot of issues for about 4 more years, I caught him in lie after lie about his work schedule/coworkers etc while he was out of town/country for weeks and months on end. He took advantage of my depression when I failed to conceive our child and when our dog had to be put to sleep. He emotionally mindf***ed me till I literally beat my head against the wall and wanted to die many times over. I reached out to my parents for help and support once and he cut me off all marital funds and credit. I had to come crawling home on his terms. That lasted about a year, and he then threatened to kill me when I exposed his infidelity and secret life. He shut all the money down again, and broke the restraining order to try to come back in the house to reason with me!!! The final order didn't stick, I lost to have the law protect me, and I paid huge for a lawyer. I left with what I could take and my animals, established my own apartment and thus began a very long and now psycho pathological divorce process with him. He found out each time I had a phone, cable, cell phone, PO box, new employer, new boyfriend, medical claims....he stalked the hell out of me for over 2 years, some of it I caught, some was not able to be proven. There is little that the women's crisis centers can do other than evacuate you out during a crisis, you can't get legal representation unless you are dirt poor and can prove it, and the law doesn't allow you to bring in past history if it has already been used in a trial and he was found innocent of the charge. Thus, trying to show that these abusers are historical in their pattern of abuse even while they don't live with you it next to impossible. Remember a psychopath will do ANYTHING to lie even if it involves a semi normal person to help him, but remember, he usually has equally deviant support people, so they are all crooked and evil. Consider it like breaking free from a mafia type mentality, it's consuming, scary, very difficult, tricky, unsafe and dangerous daily/hourly/minute to minute. You have to enlist a support system, if you can find one (not many want to get involved, even if they WERE your friends). Friends and family are sometimes just as stalked and threatened as you are by this same person. This process will wear you down to the bone as you will fatigue being so worried and consumed by fear, you eventually will crumble to bits and start to lose ground. I wish I had the formula to help the next victim out of similar situation, but there is no formula. It's a unique and unpredictable as a tornado, and hard to get out of the way most times and the casualty is usually the victim of abuse. It will take you many times to "recover", if you can, from the torture you endured at the will of the psychopath that will forever claim he loves you. DON'T turn back, DON't believe he loves you still....it's a trick to continue to control you in what ever way he can. It's dangerous and not worth it. Move on with your life. There is a process with the Social Security and victims services that you can petition to change name and SS#, but keep documents and records of the abuse, get letters from friends, lawyers, doctors as you go. Keep them in a safe and remote place. If you petition for a new name and SS#, you MUST do it at the same time, or it won't work, and he will find you any time by reverse look up. Place verbal security passwords on all your accounts so he can't access records. DON'T use your mother's maiden name, HE KNOWS IT WELL!!! That is the typical security password most use to identify you, just use your father's mother's maiden name or your first pet name, just make sure you remember it, keep a log book and hide it. Get new email accounts, and warn people to not respond to email from the old account, remember he knows all those email addresses they are on the home computer, right?
Most of all, you need to take care of yourself, mentally and physically. You probably have had to go back to work more than full time to self support. Do not deny your fear, it's real to you. You know the psychopath better than anyone, go with your gut instinct when it smells like trouble. Make sure you have a chain of communication in place with friend or family, check in every couple days. Read stuff on the internet about stalking/harassment/domestic violence, it will empower you to know more resources. Store the most important and valuable items away from your new home, those are the things you will worry about if he breaks in and steals stuff, it will emotionally cripple you into doing stupid reactions towards him. That's the way he can push your hot button and win. Prevent those things from happening, don't let him see that he has made you react. They thrive on hurting you and seeing you destroyed.
Good luck to all, from a STRONG LADY SURVIVOR!!!
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Personal experience advice (first, congratulations for recognizing the sociopath in him and for taking action -- IT'S VERY DIFFICULT AND OFTEN SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE): You must move away; staying where you are and changing your phone number every time he manages to get ahold of the new one won't work and he will know where you are to hassle/hurt/kill you (I MEAN IT). Go someplace he can't get at you (I went to my mother's gated, guarded retirement community. Even though he knew it and her number, I knew he couldn't get past the gate). Don't trust anyone, especially mutual friends; you must have a girlfriend he tried to keep you away from but knows what's up. Trust no one. Women's crisis centers are a joke; restraining orders are a joke. YOUR LIFE IS IN DANGER EVEN IF YOU SIMPLY CAN'T IMAGINE THAT. Women die every day at the hands of sociopathic, abusive men and if I hadn't listened to one of the two girlfriends I managed to not let him isolate me from, I'd be one of them. GET OUT OF THERE, EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO CAMP OUT. It's not a matter of getting him out of your life -- you can't control him, only yourself -- it's a matter of you getting away from him because he won't leave you alone. Ever. After you leave, you can never have contact with again. Ever. To All Survivors! Please get a copy of "Be the Pack Leader" by Cesar Millan ("The Dog Whisperer") even if you don't have a dog: better than any therapist/support group. THIS IS FEMALE-CENTERED EMPOWERMENT! Sorry to yell, but IT'S THAT IMPORTANT.
What should you do if you know of an older adult who is being abused by their adult child?
Depending on whether the older adult agrees that the treatment is abusive, then you can take action with them on the phone or call an agency on their behalf. The web link for the National Center on Elder Abuse (NCEA)should lead you to a local resource. It is difficult to manage this when you are an outsider, but it seems like all of us depend on our community to protect and support us. There have actually been a few postings regarding adult children abusing a parent or an elderly parent. Could you please just post under this and give me a little more information as to what your problem is. Example: What is the adult child doing to you? Have to called the police? If we can have a little more information we can certainly help you. Thanks
How much do social workers get paid weekly?
I just took a career test in advisory and I looked at SW it didn't fall under the category of a good salary. My aunt has her masters degree for that and she doesn't make that much either. I guess it is a career you just need to be personally interested in.
http://wiki.answers.com/What_are_the_main_causes_of_teen_violence. The main cause is a combination of suppressed anger from being hurt, inability to deal with or understand new emotional issues and peer pressure.
Would a narcissist ex after changing his phone number call you ever again?
This is in the breakup category so I'll assume you've broken up with a narcissist and they are avoiding you? They might think they're too good for you and feel they are too above an ex to accept contact from them, therefore going to great lengths to avoid them.
What are the effects of family violence?
The effects of Domestic Violence on children vary; if the child grows up with his dad abusing his mom (mentally or physically), they may see it as alright when they grow up, and continue the cycle of abuse. The child may be at a greater risk of being abused themselves, especially if the child is a girl, she may become a teenager/adult and be in a relationship with an abusive man because of the way her childhood was--I'm not saying she'll do it on purpose, it'll just be the type of guy she attracts because she has low self-esteem, most likely. Another effect may be that the child could be emotionally scarred for life; seeing someone (especially parent or guardian) being abused, effects the child deeply and will most likely lead them into depression easier, which in turn will lead to low self-esteem, confidence issues, etc.
How can you abuse a man sexually?
A person may sexually abuse using threats and physical force, but sexual abuse often involves subtle forms of manipulation, in which the person is coerced into believing that the activity is an expression of love, or that the child bought the abuse upon themself. Sexual abuse involves contact and non-contact offences.
What is the profile of a typical bully?
To be honest, I don't think that there is a typical profile for a bully, at least not since the internet has become a large part of our daily lives. Sure, back in the day it would be the bigger, stronger and more popular individual who would be a bully, however, ever since the net, cyber bullying has been on the rise. What make this so scary is that there is no profile for cyber bullies. It can be anyone, of any age, gender, class, religion, race, etc. The anonymousness of the web has enables many people to be a lot crueler than they may be in reality. Or, at least, such is my belief.
If she is the older sister, then she is mean because she wants to make herself feel superior over you, thinking that she is the best and to make you feel like crap. You are not crap, and try to tell her in a calm matter. If that doesn't work, just ignore her because she's doing everything she can to get a reaction out of you. If she uses other people, for example, and is really nice to them around you just to make you mad, leave the room. My sister is mean too and she always hits me and thinks everything I say is unimportant and how it doesn't matter. Just stand your ground, things will get better!
It is when someone is disloyal or cheating on their spouse.
ANSWER:
Infidelity is not just about sex outside the relationship but about trust, betrayal, lying and disloyalty. In fact infidelity is more painful because someone deliberately using deception to violate establish expectations within a relationship.
Infidelity contain of two close relationship, physical intimacy, and emotional intimacy.
1- Physical intimacy refers to sexual activity with someone other than the partner. Sexual infidelity in marriage is called "Adultery"
Is it true that 84 percent of prison inmates were abused as children?
A website run by the Baltimore County police department says so. However, they cited no study, nor have I found one to back their assertion.
Nor do they distinguish between whether it is the nation's statistic, or just Balitmore's.
A U.S. Department of Justice report said that 10 to 76 percent of males in various stages of corrections reported physical or sexual abuse - so clearly Baltimore's figure given is questionable.
It may have to do with the fact that the figure is on their anti-child abuse page. Maybe it is a scare number, to encourage parents not to raise future felons. Whatever the reasons they have, it is not a number to be blindly accepted.
How do you know if your're a victim of emtional abuse?
People who are abused don't like to think they are. If you are asking this question, then you need to find professional help to sort out what is going on in your life and to get a more objective view of the situation. It's one of those things... If you are asking, then it's probably true.
What did Paul Harvey report about Andrew Wommack?
I am not sure what Paul Harvey reported about Andrew Wommack. I think that it must have not been too bad at all. They are wellknown people and also respected persons.
being verbally violent is being basically mean.. always yelling and just offending the person they are downing
How do you get people to stop making fun of you?
Make friends. Friends will protect you. Bullies are less likely to target someone who has a friend around.
Do not spend time with people who are abusive. And if this don't work, tell a teacher, office, parents, or the principle.
Also ive learned if you make fun of yourself along with them or laugh at their jokes when they make fun of you, they will realize that it doesnt bother you, then they will not bother you again!
find their weakness and use it if their ugly call them ugly when they bother you if their fat tell them your 500 pounds of pure fatness lol that's what i do when my cousin says im a 100 pounds ya and is it bad to be a 100 pounds when your 12 and im like 5 feet and 4 inches ya then if they make fun of you when your with someone say stuff like at least i don't play with barbies lol my couisin is sp rude and mean and she always talks bad things about me in front of ppl i have the same problem so stand up for your self good luck
I've known elders to be abused because their caretakers had little to no patience. In working with others, especially children and elders, one must have a lot of patience.
Right and wrong depends on who the judge is.
Do you and your partner have an agreement that it is ok to cheat? You do? Then for you and your partner, no, it may not be wrong.
But even so, people outside of your relationship may not agree. What if "the other person" also has a partner who does not know about and/or approve of the activity? Then to them it may be wrong.
And then there are people who are not connected to the action at all but who may judge you for your actions. For example, some conservative religious groups believe that any kind of sexual activity outside of marriage is a sin. To them, it would clearly be wrong, too.
Finally, what about children? Do you already have kids with your partner? Is there a chance of getting someone else pregnant? What would you say to them if they found out?
