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Breakups
It takes two to make it work, but only one to break it up. This is the place to ask questions about the pain, healing, and possible solutions to relationship break-ups.
8,665 Questions
How do you know if the love is gone?
Love is gone when you try to treat each other with respect but nothing works. Sometimes when people are ready to move on they stay together for other reasons and all they seem to do is hurt each other. If you are trying to be kind but all you do is fight, maybe it is time for a serious talk about the future.
With clear focus one would be able to see, that love is something that doesn't leave you, its always there. Love is a survivor AND carries ON in triumph through IT ALL and has a way of righting you when you are wrong but always has your back, no matter what. If somone feels love is gone perhaps they should question if it was really ever there at all? TRUE LOVE TAKES TIME TO GROW.Tis like a garden in that you reap what you sow.
Love is gone when you no longer see any good in your partner; when you feel negative energy when in their presence; when the idea of intimacy with them revolts you; when being alone is a more attractive option for your happiness. If you can still see the good...work it out...nurture it.
If you ever find yourself asking this question, or asking 'Am I in Love?', then you aren't, but it isn't gone. It can't be. It just means you've grown a bit and realize that what you thought was love wasn't. When it is, you very suddenly know - you don't think, or wonder, or ask your friends what they think. It's an epiphany that you'll never doubt. If things go up, go down, shatter to a thousand pieces, build to a crushing pressure where you knowsomething has to give, and you still never wonder about this, then it's love. Everything else is just; comfort, shared experiences/goals, and good sex - or some mix of the three.
Is it hard to break up with your first boyfriend?
ALWAYS, the first cut is the deepest. (Metaphorically Speaking)
The first is always going to be the first and you probably have experienced a lot of first things with them.
Breaking up with someone is never an easy thing to do.
Of course the longer you are together, the harder it will be.
Should you wish an ex-boyfriend happy birthday?
Depending on how the relationship ended, wishing an ex-boyfriend a happy birthday can really go either way. Sending a SIMPLE "Happy Birthday! Hope you have a nice day." text message, quick e-mail or facebook post can be very mature and appropriate. However, long texts, e-mails, or even phone calls can send the wrong message and potentially put you in a bad light or an uncomfortable situation.
Is my ex over me when he is back with his ex?
It really shouldn't matter to you whether your ex will last with his ex that he went back to. Unless you still have feelings for him there should be no reason for this. I would suggest that you just continue on with your life and don't about what your ex is doing.
How do you break up with a guy without crushing him?
It's not possible to break up with someone and not hurt them. A teacher once explained that you are going to hurt people by breaking up with them and other people are going to hurt youby breaking up with you.
How can you get your belongings back from an ex boyfriend?
Assuming you have already asked "nicely", you can point out that you will have to change the locks, and the "ex" will be responsible for that cost. Still not returned? Change the locks.
If the changing of locks required a significant cost (say, over $100 dollars),
send the "ex" a bill and a demand for payment, via certified mail, return receipt requested. When demand is ignored, make second demand, including warning of collection fees and lawyer's fees, and court costs, if you have to pursue the money any further. You can figure out the rest...
Still life is in reference to a painting or piece of art. It typically consists of an arrangement of objects that contract with each other.
Can you love someone again after you fell out of love?
Yes, it is possible for a person to fall in love again, after a previous love. The real question to ask oneself is- "was it just infatuation?" Time heals all wounds, some just take longer than others.
AnswerI personally believe that if you truly love someone that it is highly unlikely you will fall in "true" love woth someone else. You may love someone else however it will never be the same. You always will still think about that person it will never fully go away. Your heart has "blown its load" and anybody else from that point on will only get a small piece of your heart. WHen you truly love someone and you end up with them than it WILL last if its not true love than the word is abused in a sense b/c its a DEEP fealing that I believe can only be acheived once in a lifetime...That's my personal opinion, and I have been through it so that's my experience. AnswerI don't feel it is easy to forget ones first love and love again...its more like a compromise as human being is a social animal and can't survive in isolation. But loving someone again with same enthu and same feelings and same freshness is almost impossible. Coz in true love one has given all him/her emotions and shared certain moments that it is really hard to feel the same again with someone else. It is more like a terror ....but has to be accepted as God has its own ways. Life is too strange and people come into your life in your youthful years with strange freshness and leave you all stale and messed up not to be used again . -(Answer];;-I Believe Yhu Could..IHave And Now im Truely Happy With Him..It Took Meh A While To Love Him..Because i Didnt Want To Get Hurt..But ITs Possible..Be Careful Though..*-Cookiee;;
What percentage of exes are still friends?
It depends on maturity of both. There is no fix percentage of becoming friend after break-up. If both willing to left the past as only memory and willing to accept new relationship status (friend), it shouldn't be a problem.
Break-up is a common things in life. And be open-minded will increase the percentage of becoming friend after a break-up.
Live by yourself and sometime break-up is a good sign of new living style. At least you can choose again or being chosen again.
Good luck!
- Love is about loving someone more than yourself and any good relationship is about making some serious decisions in order to be together. With most problems there is always an answer even though that answer may not be exactly what you or your partner felt it should be. However, if you truly love someone then sacrifices will have to be made throughout a lifetime and if you can't come to some agreement on this problem then it is better to part ways. Between the two of you someone is not telling the truth because if you love someone more than life itself both would be willing to make it work.
How can you be sure you have not been permanently damaged by a relationship with a narcissist?
You are not safe with a narcissist, so you need to make sure it is over. The longer you stay, the more likely your children will show the same behavior in their relationships. Going from verbal to physical abuse can be a close thing. You need a team to support you as you make the move; the most dangerous period is while you are planning to do this. Mind you, you may have to move to another city or state to escape.
Healing the relationship is difficult to impossible until the person gets real and has practice behaving. You cannot fix the person. For one thing, an abused person just does not have the expertise and emotional boundaries to make a difference. Also, It is very common for them to revert to bad habits upon returning to the person they abused in the past--even if a few years have passed and their behavior has been consistent.
A good book to understand the issue is The Verbally Abusive Relationship. It does have some hints to help; but you do need to be very honest about the depth of your issue. You also have to realize that you are not to blame in any way.
Based on the guide "Back from the Looking Glass" Living with the personality disorder that causes abuse.
I think that the advice to leave and have no contact is dangerous. This is a very good way to provoke someone to violence. If they have a home and children with you they will feel that they have nothing left to lose and as narcissistic people do tend to blow things out of proportion and have tantrums this can be very dangerous. I knew a woman who was murdered by her husband in front of her small children after leaving him and refusing contact.
If you want to heal your relationship our guide will help you to do that and we know many people who have had success with this. If you want to leave and never see the person who you believe is narcissistic and keep yourself safe and get closure well then I suggest that you do this;
Be very clingy and needy and agree with everything they say while being very boring and make sure that you give them no time to them self or space, keep apologising a lot for everything, and act very fake. After about a week or two of this they will decide to leave. Let them think it is their idea, act sad about it but don't fight them. After that (and you can do this while you are getting them to decide to leave too) complain a lot whenever you talk to them, tell them that you are sick and that the kids need braces and that the house has termites. They will quickly lose interest in you and then you are free. This way you will know that it is over, especially when you see them with someone else.
Based on the book "Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Revisited":
"If the narcissist has the power to provoke emotions in you � you are still a Source of Supply to him ... If you are an old Source of Narcissistic Supply, first, get over the excitement of seeing him again. ... Then, simply ignore him. Don't bother to respond in any way to his offer to get together. If he talks to you � keep quiet, don't answer. If he calls you � listen politely and then say goodbye and hang up. Indifference is what the narcissist cannot stand. It indicates a lack of attention and interest that constitutes the kernel of negative NS."
Here is more input:
- No one is just a narcissist -- that N guy in your life is or was a person you cared about -- I think its best to admit that however difficult that might be -- you really loved someone, for a reason, you saw them as loveable and they were loveable, but they were human, imperfect and hurt you...maybe you invited the hurt in some way or let them hurt you, played the victim...sometimes we unconsciously arrange things so that we fail in our intimate relationships--because a relationship is work, thinking about someone else not ourselves--we want the good things the easy things about a relationship but when it becomes a challenge--of course, for some of us, maybe we cant live in anothers shadow, maybe we have to be ourselves, maybe we need a kind of solitariness--the problem with a romance sometimes I think is that we are swallowed up in it--I was swallowed up by someone for years, was ecstatic with him for years, but we were/are constantly in and out of it because you really cant live like that--I think that I was in love with love, still am, i think a lot of people look for romantic love--for the high--but then you have to work out the details and the devil is in the details.
- Tell them to "Grow Up" rather sternly! Then,walk out and don't look back.
- When you remove them completely from your life. No calls, no emails, absolutely no contact.
- Narcissists appear tough to the victim, but threaten them with someone else who might harm that physical beauty or ego and they just might move on to another conquest.
- You have the power to lock them out of your life. Do it.
- Ignore him completely. He will not bring any good into your life. All these types want is to destroy you. They are very calculating and will settle for nothing other than to see you with no integrity and self esteem. Do you want him back? If you are considering getting back with him just remember he will lead you down the same dead end roads. That's all they do.
- Narcissists do not have relationships or experience other people the same way that non-narcissists do. While it may be difficult for some to overcome the need to make excuses for the N. ("he's only human, just like you...") or to idealize the interaction ("you loved him, he loved you..."), the fact remains that the N. did not experience you or anyone else as a human being. To an N., other people exist only as objects that either can provide narcissistic supply or not; if not, they move on.
How do you do break up with your longterm boyfriend?
First of all you must be honest and upfront. None of the hiding behind cell phones and not returning his phone calls. Please don't even thing of texting and/or e-mailing your desire to break -up. Telling him "I just need my space for now" is a poor excuse which if he truly is in love with you will give reason for him to hang on. Secondly, if you are breaking up with him because you are interested in someone else or possibly already seeing someone else, you've already gone too far. The correct thing to do is end #1 relationship first.
So begin by telling him in person whatever your "truth" is. I need to end this relationship because"....." I am sorry for your pain".
And by the way, since you are ending the relationship with him do not attempt to soften the blow by saying "it's ok, we can still be friends". He doesn't need you as a friend right now. He needs to recover and regroup from the pain you are causing by the breakup.
Mommy Dearest
How do you know your ex boyfriend is trying to make you jealous with your friends?
That's easy. If he is constantly walking past you with his new girl and making eye contact with you and not his girl, then he's trying to make you jealous. If the new couple starts sitting by you and acting all cutesy, then yep hes making you jealous. And if out of the blue hes not spending as much time with his new girl as he is you then he probubly is more intersested in you. But usually he still wants to be friends if he sits next to you, unless his girl isn't with him most of the time when hes sitting next to you. That's different! Otherwise sorry he's not trying to make you jealous. If you have a question on something I forgot and yu wanna know if hes makin you jealous or not just send me a messege.
~*PeAcE*~
- Ex means the relationship is over. If he hasn't admitted he still loves you or or contacted you in any way then he doesn't love you enough to try in the relationship you had together.
The ex-boyfriends in this dream symbolize factors from your past. The dream might be about picking up classes or a job or plans that were dropped around the time that you were with these ex-boyfriends.
How do you forgot your first love?
Losing a lover is a little like having a close friend die. You need to go through a version of the mourning process: Denial, Anger, Bargaining and -- eventually -- Acceptance. It may take some time. While it's happening, keep your friends close. Don't isolate yourself. You may need to force yourself to remember all the bad things about your ex. It may also help to ask yourself what you've learned that will make your next relationship stronger.
Why do men stay in contact with ex girlfriends?
- In these modern times there seems to be a fad of 'being friends' with one's ex. It is not normal and 'ex' means the relationship is over. The only time a person should be with their ex is when they share custody of any children they may have. Men who want to stay in contact with their ex is like having your cake and eating it too. This means if the relationship does not work out with the person they are with they can fall back on their ex and this can be a dangerous situation because some men (not all) will have a sexual relationship with their girlfriend and their ex at the same time and with transmitted sexual diseases at an all time high this is not a good combination and is not fair to the girlfriend. The girlfriend should know she has the power within herself to tell her boyfriend like it is and that she is not willing to share him with his ex no matter if they are just friends or not. If he doesn't change then the girlfriend should move on in her life as she can do much better than staying with him.
What does it mean if you dream that your ex girlfriend is getting married?
It means she has moved on, and you should too. It's hard to get more definite than that.
one possible answer is that you mind knows that your ex has fully moved on. And your mind telling you it is time to invest all of yourself in the next person or current person you are with. It is one of the ultimate closures other than death. Your mind has come to terms with it all.
It could be also a dream telling you to chase after her one last time. Finish your unfinished business and make one last plea.
How do you know your ex girl still has feeling for you and wants to come back to you?
If she is showing signs like...If you see her and she keeps looking at you like the I still like you look or Acts like shes mad at you sometime in a stupid argument.
How can you tell if someone cares about you?
That is a difficult without knowing more about you. What if I am insecure and have very low self esteem??? Will my insecurity drive me to a crazed desperate attempt for acceptance by pursuing you? Is your question based on the possibility that you are insecure about yourself and feel the need for validation throught the acceptance of a special someone? Is this person giving you attention in hopes the "bait" will be taken, by you, so that they may put out another. Perhaps, one of the ways that has more weight than many in gauging this very common question is,,, what does this person gain from showing their care for you. If you gain a lot, over a proven course of time and circumstance, and they gain little or nothing,,, they are serving you, they are sacrificing their time and effort, you just might be onto something!
Is it okay for your boyfriend to touch you?
You have the ability to say anything, but most things wouldn't make sense in that situation. If you want him to, then say something to let him know he can. If you don't want him to, then tell him something to let him know you don't want him to touch your butt. What you SHOULD say, is completely dependably on the current relationship stays, and also where u are.
How can I stop being homophobic?
Do not be afraid to ask questions. As humans, we are afraid and wary of the unknown. Find out as much as you can by contacting the lgbt chapter in your area, or reading reliable sources on the internet. If you are homophobic because you think you might be gay, that is all the more reason for you to educate yourself.
Why would your ex-boyfriend hide from you the fact that he has a new girlfriend?
Because he wants it all. He wants his new girlfriend and do as he pleases (have fun) but doesn't want you too. Could it be love? Possibly. I doubt he's sure where he's at so he wants his cake and eat it too. I think you're pretty smart, so get on with life and leave this guy in the dust! If he cares enough for you he'll come back and if not then you just saved yourself a whole lot of loss and heartbreak in your life. Good luck
If your ex-boyfriend gets mad that you went out with someone else does that mean he may still care?
If he didn't care he wouldn't waste energy being mad.
How can hit you ex-boyfriend back?
Show him he doesn't matter anymore by getting on with your life and forgetting he exists.
AnswerAvoid mutual friends and places like the plague....at first he will think its cause you couldn't bare to see him cause of the hurt but then eventually he will think that in the meantime you met someone and got on with your life and that your curiousity has faded to indifference AnswerBut remember, that hurting him probably isn't a very good idea, as it is quite mean.