Breakups

Break-ups are losses. When there's a loss, we grieve. The five stages of loss are as follows : Denial, Anger, Depression. Blame, Acceptance. We can move through various stages and keep going back to one or two or more all at once, it depends on how we are wired. The key to over-coming grief (according to Kubler- Ross in psychiatry), is to accept but the other stages, need full completeness until this happens.

Shock and Denial

Shock is the initial reaction to loss. Shock is the person's emotional protection from being too suddenly overwhelmed by the loss. The person may not yet be willing or able to believe what his mind knows to be true. This stage normally lasts 2 - 3 months. Intense Concern

Intense concern is often shown by not being able to think of anything else. Even during daily tasks, thoughts of the loss keep coming to mind. Conversations with one at this stage always turn to the loss as well. This period may last 6 months to 1 year. Despair and Depression

Despair and depression is a long period of grief and the most painful and protracted stage for the griever. But during which the person gradually comes to terms with the reality of the loss. The process typically involves a wide range of feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. Many behaviors may be irrational. Depression can include feelings of anger, guilt, sadness, and anxiety. Recovery and acceptance

The goal of grieving is not the elimination of all the pain or the memories of the loss. In this stage, one shows a new interest in daily activities and begins to function normally on a day to day basis. The goal is to reorganize one's life so that the loss is one important part of life rather than the center of one's life.

Keep safe :)

If she's your ex and you haven't been doing anything to make her think you want to get back together (or at least "hook up"), then she's probably doing it to mess with your mind.

You'll have to investigate further (if you care) to find out what form the mind-messing is taking; she may want to get back together with you, she may want The D but feel it would be unladylike to say that, she may just want you to start wanting her again so she can dump you publically to humiliate you.

Breaking up is just less specific, in that it doesn't imply who ended the relationship. Getting dumped generally means that that person still liked the other person, and that the other person did not like them and chose to end the relationship.

Of course, the real answer depends on the level of hurt, but here are some general guidelines....

1) Women need to hear that you are genuinely sorry. This doesnt mean just to say your sorry, but to express how deeply sorry you are. You may not think you are at fault or should apologize, but that doesnt matter. If you are interested in repairing your relationship, you must shove all pride aside and apologize sincerely. Show through a combination of actions and words that you mean it.

2) While in the repairing process, your woman might still express her anger towards you for whatever you did. At this point do not attempt to defend yourself or to blame her; this will only worsen matters. Simply keep the blame on you and reinforce that. Remember to put your feelings about the incident aside.

3) After you apologize and blame yourself, express how it hurts you to hurt her, and that hurting her was not your intention.

4) Go back to basics. After you clear the air, there will still be some uneasyness. Remember what made your relationship work so well in the first place, and take her back there. Remind her why she choose you in the first place. Win her heart back, and your infraction, at this point, should mean very little. Just dont do it again!!

Good Luck

You seem to assume that you can manipulate the emotions of another person. This is not possible for any length of time, and attempting to do so will generally alienate the person from you further.

The best thing that one can do is move on, rather than trying to live in the past. If you are honest and true to yourself, you will find another person who will care for you. But it is unlikely that you will be able to re-establish a relationship with someone that you have broken up with, because you are both likely to return to the state that you were in when you broke up.

spend more time with her and give her more attention. If you are not being attentive to her needs, your relationship, or are not sharing any feelings with her, being rude or demeaning her in any way these things could tend to push her away or even if your too overbearing, too needy, too controlling or just being clingy these are also reasons you could push her away. Talking with her and finding out exactly why she feels this way would be a good start.

• If a person maliciously gloats over you be calm, simply smile and say 'good for you' and then walk away. Gets them every time.

honestllly,

your cramping his styllle. and he wants to be with his friends mmore. yeah.. give him space, more than enough space but make him regret he told you that. make him "want you."

You can't and you shouldn't be trying to. Just imagine if your dad was trying to get you to break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend. It's the same thing for him. This is his decision and his girlfriend is his business. If he is trying to bring her around you and you don't feel comfortable, let him know that you don't want to be around her. That's pretty much all you can do.

The same way you'd break up with anybody else- in person, in a respectful manner. If they bi polar most in likely they will be up with you know need to worry about break up

he wants to get back with you. he misses how things were between you and him. or he just desperate and tries to see if you fall for it :P but you can tell which one he is playing on you

There is no doubt that time is all powerful and it heals all wounds. But then when in love do you really want to get way with that wound and the pain. Yes if sever all contact with that person, and better still and mutual contacts as well, it will help you in getting rid of the painful feeling, a feeling of worthlessness. It sure will. But then what will you do, if that person asks you to be a friend but doesn't commit to love. Will you still be so strong as to sever all ties with him/her. The important point, according to me, is to understand whether you want to get rid of the painful feeling or not. People will say that there are millions of people out of which you have to find the one who truly loves you. Let me ask you this. Are you willing to compromise by letting go someone you loved. Why would you have to go out to find out someone else..why not just the one you love. People will say, you deserve something better, or that future has lot better in store for you and you just need to see around. Are you REALLY looking for someone BETTER than the one you love?? You dont. Right? So what will you do..enjoy the pain dear. Its worth it. Its YOUR feeling. Learn from it. Be a little more better person than you are. Are you asking me why to become "a little more better person" when you dont get your love in the end? It is because, no matter whether you get your love or you dont, all wound does heal with time and yours will too..its the way of nature. So, if you haven't got the one you love, and in turn become "a little more better person" than who know...you can be NEXT TIME LUCKY. so cheer up...go for the one you love whole-heartedly. Even if the one you love is DESTINED to be of someone, dont believe it even for a second and you never know.......As Paulo wrote in his gem "Alchemist" ..When you truly love someone or soemthing the entire universe conspire to help you achieve that..

Show your ex that you're stronger and don't let him hurt you! You are a strong, independent, self-empowered individual who can conquer the world! Your ex is only getting satisfaction out of your pain, so reverse the power by hurdling over them and their selfish ways!

I'm in a similar situation and am taking the whole situation as a learning and growth experience, so I'll just share some of what I've learned. Everybody says to give up and move on. I've discovered that this is not the right answer, it's just the easy way out. First, you need to assess whther you love the ex enough to put in the work it's going to take to rebuild the relationship. Second, you have to honestly own what it is you did wrong to contribute to the demise of the relationship. You always contribute some negativity, it's never a one-sided thing. When you own up to your deal-breaking behaviours, you have to be willing to change. It's long, it's arduous, you'll be discouraged, but you have to be totally determined to stick it out. Keep being nice and friendly to your ex, even when he rebuffs you. Show that you still care, but don't ever say it. The two of you can sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk about what problems you both were having, and you have to demonstrate to him your changed personality. Over time the two of you can slowly rebuild the trust and rediscover the love and have a better relationship than before the breakup. It's a lot of hard work and self-sacrifice, but this is what a real relationship is. If you prefer the heady feeling of infatuation and being "in love" then the best route for you is to recover from the breakup and move on to the next relationship, like the usual advice says. Good luck and I wish you love.

ASK SOMEONE HE'S CLOSE TO BUT NOT OUT RIGHT YOU NEED TO JUST HINT IF HE'S INTERESTED IN SOMEONE AND IF HE WANTS YOU BACK I'M SURE HIS FRIENDS WILL TELL YOU .....OR IF YOU REALLY BRAVE YOU COULD JUST ASK HIM STRAIGHT OUT. ANOTHER WAY IS IF HE'S TREATING YOU LIKE HE DID WHEN YOU WERE TOGETHER (LIKE THE SAME LOOKS OR THE WAY HE SPEAKS TO YOU)

Your question has your answer. If he loves other girls and he's telling you he loves you then he is playing with all of your hearts and heads. How you get over him is realize that he is to selfish to give himself honestly and lovingly to you and you will never get the respect you deserve from him. Believe in your self and know that you are special and will find a real MAN, which this guy is not, that will treat you well.. Surround yourself with positive people that have nothing to do with this guy. Go to different places to meet people and get your self on the right track. Good luck.

• I am sure that your boyfriend has discussed how he felt when his girlfriend at the time died (or perhaps after they broke up) and it would have been very traumatic for him. He may even blame himself even though he shouldn't. If he has talked to you about his deceased ex girlfriend then your subconscious mind can sometimes hold onto that particular thought and causes the person to dream about the deceased girlfriend. It's normal. Our brains are active during sleep and a human dreams every half hour to release the tension of the day and most of the dreams we don't remember when in full REM sleep and the dreams we do remember are seconds just after you wake up and that is when you can remember dreams or nightmares.

First, you need to be real about what went wrong the first time around. If it was not something unforgiveable (abusive behavior, cheating) or unforgettable (you left for someone else) you might have some reasonable expectation of success. All you can do is to call, write and express your feelings for her and ask her to go out. If she says no, or is with someone else by now, then move on.

As soon as possible. Yesterday. Immediately. Why would you stay in abusive relationship another minute?

Immediately most of the time. If you talk to the abuser and they are willing to get help, it's up to you if you want to stay and try again, but the person has to be willing to get help and do it right away.

When you feel "dead" inside. The sooner the better though but sometimes people wait to hit rock bottom before realizing they have to leave the relationship.

You should leave the minute you are abused. My husband and I were having a verbal fight and he raised his fist and punched his hand towards my face. This really scared me so, I immediately moved out and we are separated. The moment he did that to me. I thought maybe next time it would be my face. Being that, I had experienced a physical abusive relationship in the past. I instantly flashed back to what happened. This is why left.

If you've tried to understand why he might be out of out control and impossible; (He's under a lot of stress, We all have our moments etc...) and you realize that your acceptance and understanding have been mistaken for permission to continue to disrespect and mistreat you. When he tells you that his anger and mistreatment are your fault. When you start avoiding your friends and relatives because you're so ashamed of yourself. When you find yourself making excuses for his behavior, but he won't forgive or understand you.

IMMEDIATELY - When we notice the first "Red Flag". Why would we want to take the abuse? Why would we want to waste any of our time being disrespected and treated like we aren't even human?

As soon as you noticed it was abusive, you should no longer be in that relationship. In other words, now.

When you're ready, trust your gut. This may sound insane, because the obvious answer is to get out as soon as possible; but if you're not ready to leave then you'll probably fall back into the abuser's grasp. Its happened to me. Your best bet is to start quietly separating yourself from them- disconnect your emotional state from theirs. Put away things they've given you, do anything that allows you to disassociate yourself from them so it is easier for you to leave. When you're out of the relationship, burn those things you hid. It makes things more final, and you'll be less likely to fall back on those things, or worse, your abuser for comfort.

I'd say, when you start asking questions like "how do you know when to leave an abusive relationship".

I suppose it depends on what you mean by too nice? If you mean should you be civil, kind and thoughtful of him/her I'd say it isn't possible to be too nice to your ex. If being too nice involves actions that make your current partner/spouse uncomfortable, then perhaps you need to think about what you are doing. It is also important that the other person understand that by being nice you are not trying to get back together with them, another words be clear in your actions and words about the hows,whys and limits of your new relationship as exes.

How to stop thinking about an ex best friend is really hard (I must know cause it has happened to me.) There are 3 steps to forgetting about an ex best friend. 1: First you have to just get them out of your mind. Clear your mind of them. 2: The second thing you have to do is start hanging out with some of your other friends. If you don't have any other friends you can try to make friends by talking to other people and see what you have in common. 3:The third thing is if the first two things don't work out you should ask some one of what you can do or you can try the first two things again. Remember... a real best friend is like a brother or sister that never tries to hurt you in any way.

Because you loved them for so long and it can be very hard just to break away from a before thriving relationship but if it is not what is best for you then you should end it as soon as possible.

It hurts because you probably don't want to hurt them but you know you will anyway .