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Jokes and Riddles

Tickle your brain! Laugh and have some fun! If you know a great, non-offensive joke or riddle, this is the place for it!

9,294 Questions

How do you weigh a whale joke?

Whale Jokes can not be weighed, as they are jokes.

Take them to a whaleweigh station

If a vampire can't see himself in a mirror why is his hair always so neat?

Well, isn't that just a happy little mystery! Maybe that vampire has a magical comb or maybe they just have a natural sense of style. Either way, it's always nice to see someone taking pride in their appearance, even if they can't see their reflection.

Why shouldn't you tell vegetables jokes?

You shouldn't tell vegetables jokes because they will just turnip their noses at you. They don't carrot all about your sense of humor. Plus, it's just corny.

Why did two florists get married joke?

The joke "Why did two florists get married?" is a play on words, as it implies that florists would naturally be attracted to one another due to their shared profession. The humor lies in the unexpected twist of the punchline, as the assumption is that florists would have a strong connection based on their love for flowers. The joke relies on the audience's understanding of the stereotype that individuals in the same profession are more likely to form romantic relationships.

What has more letters than the alphabet?

The Post Office abbreviation it has twelve letters while 'the alphabet' only has eleven.

What riddles are there in which the answer is trust?

You can have me but cannot hold me;
Gain me and quickly lose me.
If treated with care I can be great,
And if betrayed I will break.

What is a riddle where the answer is barbeque?

Oh, dude, a riddle where the answer is barbecue? That's like asking me to solve a puzzle with a big juicy steak on the line! Okay, here it goes: What gets grilled but never complains? Barbecue! Because, you know, it's getting all hot and bothered on the grill without a single complaint.

Riddle Why do airplanes fly by Peter Pan's home?

Oh, dude, airplanes fly by Peter Pan's home because... wait for it... they Neverland! Get it? Neverland? Like, they never land there? I know, I know, I'm a comedic genius. Thank you, thank you, you're too kind.

What do you call a pony that doesn't whinny?

Oh, dude, you call it a little horse that's just not into all that whinnying drama. Like, maybe it's more of a silent type, you know? So yeah, technically speaking, it's just a pony that's not making any noise. But hey, who needs all that whinnying anyway, right?

Why is it dangerous to do math in the jungle?

Doing math in the jungle can be dangerous due to various factors such as limited visibility, unpredictable weather conditions, and potential presence of wild animals. The dense vegetation and uneven terrain can make it difficult to focus on calculations and navigate safely. Additionally, the lack of resources and communication tools in remote jungle areas can pose risks in case of emergencies or getting lost while engrossed in mathematical tasks.

The sum of two numbers is 15 and the sum of their squares is 117 what are the two numbers?

Oh, isn't that a lovely little math problem we have here? Let's take a moment to appreciate the beauty of numbers. If we work our way through this, we'll find that the two numbers are 9 and 6. Just like painting a happy little tree, sometimes all it takes is a few gentle brushstrokes to reveal the hidden beauty within.

What is a daddy bear?

Well, darling, a daddy bear is simply a term used in the gay community to describe an older, typically larger and hairier gay man who exudes a sense of maturity and masculinity. Think of it as the silver fox of the bear community. So, if you're into rugged charm and a touch of salt and pepper, you might just be looking for a daddy bear to cuddle up with.

How do you free diz in riddle transfer?

you ptthe creature cmunicater in the place at dezs feet where it belongs, when you do that two puzzles unlock and you have to solve them. the one on the right is simple you make te picture on the bottm look like the picture on the top. whn you complete that. a puzzlo top opens up. you make all 4 black dots turn white. on the right side a dezs feet there anoter puzzle... i gess ill leave you from here.. i still have to figure it out lol good luck!!. love the game

by:shaun5000 you have to make numbers to answer the math questions on the left using the block things

How would you describe a window in the kitchen eating area punchline algebra 11.11?

In the context of punchline algebra 11.11, a "window in the kitchen eating area" is likely a metaphor or visual representation used to introduce a mathematical concept or problem related to the kitchen or eating area. It could be a way to engage students by connecting algebraic concepts to real-life scenarios. The phrase may serve as a context for the algebraic problem that follows, helping students understand and solve the mathematical equation within the given scenario.

What did Barbie the film director do when the chicken forgot his lines?

Oh, what a delightful scenario! Barbie the film director probably handled it with grace and kindness. She likely reassured the chicken, helped him practice his lines, and maybe even improvised a fun new scene together. Remember, mistakes happen, and it's all part of the creative process. Just keep painting those happy little accidents!

What is long and yellow and never rings?

The answer to this riddle is a banana. Bananas are typically long and yellow in color, and they do not have the capability to ring like a telephone or alarm clock. This riddle plays on the idea of a ringing sound being associated with objects that have that capability, such as phones or bells, which bananas do not possess.

Poor people have it. Rich people need it. If you eat it you die. What is it?

The answer to the riddle is "nothing." This riddle plays on the concept of wealth and poverty, as well as the literal interpretation of the word "nothing." It highlights the idea that nothing is something that poor people may have, rich people may need, and consuming it would lead to death.

What is the difference between a thistle in the heather and a kiss in the dark The Ghost Goes West - 1935?

In the context of the film "The Ghost Goes West" from 1935, the phrase "a thistle in the heather" likely symbolizes something prickly or unpleasant, contrasting with the intimacy and warmth associated with "a kiss in the dark." This juxtaposition may represent the contrasting emotions or experiences portrayed in the movie, highlighting themes of love, mystery, and perhaps unexpected or conflicting situations. The use of these contrasting images could serve to create depth and complexity in the storytelling, engaging the audience on multiple levels.

What do you get if you cross a stick of dynamite with a lemon pie?

Oh, dude, you get a blast of flavor! Like, literally. Dynamite is explosive, and when you mix it with a lemon pie, you'll probably end up with a messy explosion of citrusy goodness. Just make sure to stand back and enjoy the show!