Before I attempt an answer, let me phrase the question as I understand it: "How does one go about starting the annulment process?"

First, lets get some definitions clear. Many people erroneously believe that an annulment is the Catholic equivalent of a divorce. This is not so. Many people also mistakenly believe that the Church makes a great deal of money on annulments. This is also not the case.

A Divorce refers to a point in marriage where the husband and wife "separate" This is to say they do not live under the same roof. A divorce does not dissolve a valid sacramental marriage, but is simply the state in which husband and wife do not live under the same roof. Because a divorce does not dissolve a valid sacramental marriage, divorce is permissible. At any time should the husband and wife reconcile they may live together again as husband and wife. No remarriage or "Second Marriage" is needed, since they never ceased being married, but were merely separated. As you can see divorce in the Catholic sense is not the same as divorce in the civil sense. A divorce in the civil sense dissolves a civil marriage. One is not free to enter into another marriage if one is in the state of divorce, because one in the state of divorce is still married.

An Annulment by contrast refers to a formal decree by the Church which states that there was no valid sacramental marriage, and therefore the parties are free to contract marriage with another person. It is a prudent practice to seek an annulment sooner then later. One who has received an annulment is free to marry.

If and when one seeks to start an annulment process all one need to do is contact the Catholic parish they attend regularly, and make an appointment to speak with the pastor. At that time he will give you all the paper work, which you will complete and then return. If you are not a practicing Catholic, (why are you not practicing?) you need to start practicing! (Register at a Church and go to Mass regularly!) But in such a case you can still speak with the pastor of a parish you feel comfortable with, and he can begin the process. Suffice it to say, the process is kept confidential. Only the Tribunal reviews the information. Even the pastor is not to read over the information when it is turned into him. He simply signs the form and sends it to the Tribunal.

It is important to note a few things for anyone who seeks an annulment. The first is that no one has the right to an annulment. This is to say that simply because one is seeking an annulment does not entail they will get it. Therefore one must approach the process with a Spirit of openness and trust in God, and be detached from the outcome.

The second, is that depending on the type of annulment you seek, (Formal Annulment) the process can take a while. What must be kept in mind is that when one is seeking an annulment, one in effect is saying to the Church "I did not enter into a valid sacramental marriage, therefore I am free to pursue a relationship with someone if I should choose to do so." Because of this, the burden of proof is on the one making the claim. In short, all sacramental celebrations of marriage are presumed valid unless otherwise stated and proven by the one who states otherwise.

This is why the paper work you are given is so important. When you fill it out, you are essentially asked to tell everything about your marriage in one way or another. Some people claim "Well, my marriage was personal, and it is no ones business." It must be kept in mind that you are the one making a claim, therefore you have to prove your case. In starting the annulment process, you have brought your case before the Church, and have brought your case from the private sphere (between you and your spouse) to the public sphere (involved the Church) Therefore, the more information you provide the better. This is so the "Tribunal" when they process the claim will be able to better make a decision on case. If there is not enough information, the Tribunal will have a difficult time trying to reach an informed decision. The process may or may not take a while, and may or may not be difficult. It all depends on the particular case. What I can say is that your pastor or priest will be with you every step of the way to guide you and help you, and pray with you, and see to your needs.

It is important to note that the cooperation of your spouse is not necessary in order to apply for and receive an annulment. It can make the process easier, but it is not necessary. Furthermore it is important to note that your spouse will be notified and will be given the opportunity to respond and defend the marital bond if he or she wishes to do so. The Canonical rights of both parties are respected and the process will never leave one party out. Both parities are given the opportunity to be involved.

Finally, depending on the Diocese there is a cost associated with the annulment process. The cost can range anywhere (for a Formal Annulment) from 500 dollars to 2,000 dollars. Why is there a cost? Because the money goes to pay the Canon Lawyers in the Tribunal who work your case. Canon Lawyers in order to work in the Tribunal need 8 years of schooling. Canon Law is a specialized area of study, and a difficult one at that. It is not unlike the process by which one studies Civil Law. You are essentially hiring Canon Lawyers to work on your case. Without the cost, the Diocese could not retain the services of Canon Lawyers to work on these cases. Usually whatever is charged does not even begin to cover the full cost of running the Tribunal, but it helps defray the cost to the Diocese. However, if there is a cost associated with the process, this should not discourage one from starting the process. If there is a legitimate (key word being legitimate)financial concern, the parish can cover the cost, or the cost can be waved.

If you feel you need to start the annulment process, please do so. Your pastor (or a pastor) will be all too ready and willing to help you. You should not hesitate or fear anything, nor should you worry about "judgment" if you have not been going to Church, or have not been to Church in a while. You should not be worried about judgment for anything. The priest will not judge you because your marriage did not work out. He is simply there to help you. However like I said you should begin going to Mass consistently if you have been away.