Friendship

Anyone who must interact with a narcissist must do some homework and learn as much as they can about the disorder. There are many great sources available online. Make a file and take notes so you can refer back to them periodically. Once you have a good understanding of their disorder you see they are predictable and pathetic. It is estimated that 75% of people with narcissistic disorder are male.

Narcissism generally includes excessive self-centeredness and an overexaggerated view of one's own talents and strengths. A narcissist creates a false self that he exhibits to other people. He lives in a completely invented world. He isobsessed with his superiority and is an authority on every subject. He possesses an absurd vanity. He doesn't engage in conversation, he lectures. He takes credit for accomplishments he may have performed as part of a large group but every completed project somehow becomes a personal accomplishment and those increase a hundred fold with every telling. He exhibits extreme grandiosity not supported by personal talents or personal history. He refuses to acknowledge the achievement of others. Tell him about something good that someone else did or accomplished and note the lack of any reply or any sign he heard what you said. He cannot delay gratification and is a compulsive shopper.

He is excessively candid, telling you things that should be kept private, but those remarks often provide a window into what he really thinks. Those blunders often include rude and crude remarks about women with whom narcissists have difficulty forming healthy relationships. He may seem generous but his gifts and favors usually have strings attached.His help is exhibitionistic in nature and geared more toward public display. The gift may not please the recipient but the important factor is that it pleased the narcissist for some self centered reason. He requires worship and adoration. His self worth and self-esteem are derived exclusively from audience feedback.

The narcissist is hypersensitive to criticism, especially when wrongly perceived which is a common occurance, and mustconditionthe people in his environment to refrain from criticism, advice or disapproval of his actions and behavior. His exaggerated reactions constitute punishment and the violator will usually be banned from his life until he needs them again. He is more vulnerable to shame than to guilt so be careful if you challenge his authority. He is an expert at administering the silent treatment. When he has really screwed up and he knows that others know about his error, give him a few weeks and he will erase it from his memory forever. It never happened! He is completely disinterested in anyone else's feelings, opinions, stories, and viewpoints. He expects that everyone will go along with his plan and gets angry if you disagree or fail to accept his plan. A narcissists survival is dependent upon having complete control or theperceptionof being in complete control.

A narcissist assumes no adult responsibilities and expect indulgence from those around him who are expected to simply put up with his obnoxious behavior. In fact, he is repelled by adults who act like adults, who take responsibility, who do things right, who have stability and a life plan. He takes the path of least investment in all his endeavors and often relies on con-artistry, ignoring the law and exploitation of other people to get what he wants. He lacks a social conscience. He wants to control everything and often manages to find less able people to take advantage of and to do his work for him.

He thinks he's special and can only be understood by other special people. He tries to hang out with professionals, thinking to obtain authority and expertise by osmosis, and thinks most people are inferior to him. The narcissist performs in public in order to attract attention and appease that need for approval. He can be charming and fun and funny and the innocent audience thinks, "What a great guy", exactly as planned. Watch a narcissistic male out in public at stores and restaurants. He will usually be flirtations and seductive to any women he comes upon, even if he is accompanied by a female companion. The women he encounters love the attention and he loves the feedback confirming that he is Mr. Wonderful. A strange behavior is that they often flirt with men also.

Back in the home or family environment, he blows up easily and tells people off if he think he perceives the slightest questioning of his authority even where there was none intended. That little problem stems from a hidden insecurity that he knows is always there. He misinterpretes what other people say and do, and he attributes his own twisted motives to everyone else. He often maintains a platonic relationship with a female, usually one who has a lot of material things to offer, while having relationships with multiple other women. He lacks empathy and is a master at making people think he cares about them . . . as long as they meet his needs. He has an utter lack of self-awareness and has no concept of the damage his behavior does to others. He has little regard for other people's feelings.

The narcissist is unable to modify his behavior, is unable to recognize his problems. Ironically, because of this invented existence, unquestioned superiority and need of grandiosity, they are easily taken advantage of. They often have a defective ability to interprete other people's speech and actions which leads them to think they are liked and respected. That makes them easy prey for someone smarter who recognizes and exploits their weaknesses. They get into trouble often and need to move on from a job, a relationship, a domicile, a state. They need to continually seek new surroundings as people get wise to their true nature and their admiration turns to scorn.

There are many degrees of narcissism and the preceding is a sampling of common behaviors. Every narcissist is different. Some are high achievers and some achieve nothing. Many are in-between.

Well be patient with a person who has that asperger's syndrome. cause their is a medicine for but it a sign it come from the father or mother. so you can read up on more about this. it a balance in the brain that doesn't wont to work. some people are born with it don't know they got it.

Try not to ridicule your friend or alienate him/her for their lack of understanding. If you want to take the time to explain things to the friend, then YOU will have a friend for life.

Since, Asperger Syndrome is called a developmental disorder, not a mental illness and most adults with Asperger Syndrome can learn how to make friends, do useful work and live successful lives.

I am pretty sure that the treatment lies in sticking with a friend, being patient and telling him/her repetitively on how to behave with the people he/she encounters. Before doing that. you need to make sure that you are in his/her good books and also you shouldn't feel bad or loose hope if the person suffering does not behave with you properly. If you don't think that you have the patience to do the same, you should leave the person alone.

If you have the opportunity to talk with a trustedcounselor then please do that, you will gain a better understanding and if things get worse you'll know who to turn to for help

Addition- Yes, or a parent that you can trust! It is very important to tell someone if something like that is happening. The friend of yours is having serious emotional issues and is not far off from being "suicidal" Because the cutting is a way to get away from real life pain. At least in their minds. Its not healthy for them and can result in serious injury! So please tell someone that can help.

Here's ways to tell:

• He looks at you a lot and when you look at him he turns away
• He makes fun of your friends but not you
• He avoids talking to you
• If he physically hurts you and looks really sorry (If it's by accident)
• Hangs around you when he can
• If he has eye contact with you a lot that is a definite sign that he likes you.

• If someone hits you he'll hit the guy that hit you because he cares for you, and most guys if they care about you then they have crush on you.
• They stare at you a lot.
• They act cool when I'm somewhere near them.
• The guys who have a crush on you tell their friends, then their friends tell their friends, and their friends tell some girls and those girls tell some of the other girls.
• They'd try to approach you when your not with your friends or when at by your locker alone.
• They'd try to make a move and freak out at last minute.
• They walk past you a lot.
• When your talking to them, it looks like their having the greatest time of their life.
• They get jealous when they hear you talking about other guys.
• He'll look at you, until you turn around, then he will looking the other way.
• You may feel like he's watching you
• He may do something physical - like grab you in a playful way, poke you, play with your hair

• He may be working really hard to pay attention to you, but doesn't quite know how
• He may ask a friend of yours about you - he'll say it's just for "friend of mine" that wants to know about you.
• He talks to everybody else - but when you're around he turns silent, or chokes up.
• You seem to accidentally bump into him a lot of different places.
• He may not say a word to you, but he shows up in the same line, at the same movie, etc.
• He'll give you a little smile from across the room, but if you get near, he won't look up.

Basically - the BIG clue is that his behavior changes when you're around (compared to when he's around his buddies or other girls).

DEAD Giveaway - when you talk to him he turns red.

• He may tell you he likes you...