Insects

Yes, fireflies, or lightning bugs, can be found in California, though they are not as common as in some other regions. The state has various species of fireflies, primarily in moist habitats like wetlands and areas near rivers. However, their populations are declining due to habitat loss and light pollution. If you're hoping to see them, it's best to visit specific natural areas during the warmer months.

The "Life Cycle" describes the various stages a flea goes through during it's life.
The adult flea is one of the four stages of fleas. Beginning with the flea egg, the life cycle continues through three instars of larval development and into the more dormant pupal stage where the flea larvae are transformed into adult fleas. The egg, larva, pupa and adult comprises what is known as complete metamorphosis.
However, the "Life Span" tells us how long a flea can live. As long as 2 years. One year without water. These are extremes and not the normal lifespan. A flea might live a year and a half under ideal conditions. These include the right temperature, food supply, and humidity. Generally speaking, though, an adult flea only lives for 2 or 3 months. Without a host for food, a flea's life might be as short as a few days. But with ample food supply, the adult flea will often live up to 100 days. This information is available in the Library of Congress.
http://www.loc.gov/rr/scitech/mysteries/flea.html

Some species can spray a chemical out of their snout, such as nasute termites

the chest, the part where the legs and wings come out of

Not everyone is allergic to bed bugs, which means it is extremely possible that you have bed bugs and that only the wife is having an allergic reaction, while the husband is getting bitten without showing any signs of itching or welts from the bites.

You should look for bed bugs and bed bug signs online.

No she need's to take Benadril and get to the doctors!

You're most likely looking at a silverfish or a firebrat.

Silverfish and firebrats eat a wide variety of foods, including glue, wallpaper paste, bookbindings, paper, photographs, starch in clothing, cotton, linen, rayon fabrics, wheat flour, cereals, dried meats, leather and even dead insects. Silverfish often live in damp, cool places such as basements and laundry rooms. Sometimes, they are found in a bathtub, sink or washbasin, unable to climb out. Firebrats live in hot, humid places such as attics in summer and near furnaces, fireplaces and heat pipes in winter.

You can kill them with strategically placed pheromone traps, putting pesticide into wall voids via holes behind your light switches. Putting insecticides or pesticides near cracks, at the bottom of bathroom walls, and the like works good as well.

Yes, for a short time, like about a minute.

Yes. A cricket is an insect similar to a grasshopper.

The term 'mini beast' is not well defined but it presumably includes insects.

Studies have shown that pill bugs prefer soil with a pH between 4.9 and 6.8. If the soil is not within this pH range, pill bugs are likely to move away to find a more suitable environment.

The word you're looking for is... flea !

they both eat humans

When a male insect removes a rival's sperm packet from a female, he prevents his rival from producing progeny (babies), and gains the reproductive advantage by guaranteeing that all eggs produced by the female will be fertilized with his sperm.

it's an insect it can survive for three monyhs without food

A fully developed honey bee, or imago, emerges from its brood cell by first softening the wax cap using its mandibles. Once the cap is removed, the bee uses its legs and body to push itself out of the cell. This process can involve wriggling and maneuvering to break free from the confines of the cell. After emerging, the new bee typically cleans itself and begins its role within the hive.

they make a crunching noise

There are several categories of mantises, macropterous (long-winged), brachypterous (short-winged), micropterous (vestigial-winged), or apterous (wingless). For those with wings, there are two sets, the outer wings that serve as camouflage and shield for the hind wings, which are more delicate.

you make a small pointy tail with a very opaque and sharp tail and make a plump and circular lower torso and give it a bit of a thinner look them the lower part and make a smaller circle and make antennas and you are finished!

We call them box elder bugs I am not sure if that is the real name or not. They like to stay around were there is a box elder tree.

Moths, but I'm not sure what else. I'd recommend that you use a source such as Google.

It would slow it down by an imperceptible amount, and leave a squashed mark on the windscreen (windshield).

Fireflies live in warm climates. As a result of this, they are not found in the UK and it would not be possible to get some.

no the combined weight of all the ants on the world would be the weight of your mom...

All insects are in the phylum of Arthropods.